Dreamwidth

	“	Like bandwidth is a measure of how much information can be transferred, dreamwidth is a measure of how much creativity can be transferred.	„
	—Dreamwidth’s FAQ

Dreamwidth is a LiveJournalesque attempt at emulating other, more successful social networking sites that was built by butthurt LiveJournal users who couldn't find a way to express themselves without posting undesirable content. Taking particular aim at deviantART’s model and attitude, Dreamwidth states upfront that they wish to build an expressive community, hoping that “you'll empower us to be your hands and trust us to build a community that can last.” They also wish to assure the average user that “We value creative expression of all types and kinds. We will never place a limit on open expression.” While both of these charming promises sound like pie in the sky, the internet’s teeming millions will soon put an end to such pleasantries.

What is Dreamwidth?

Opinions...everybody's got one.

Rising concerns over LiveJournal.

Mark, co-founder of Dreamwidth.

Denise, the other co-founder.

You are not pretty, yet idiots will give you money.

	“	there is still broken shit! we are working through the broken shit as fast as we can! we will be giving openid codes as soon as we have the time! but omg.	„
	—Denise, co-founder of Dreamwidth.

Dreamwidth is a paysite designed to view other people’s meaningless dramas. Once a large enough community of suckers has paid for the service, they hand out invite codes. While this is an obvious attempt at keeping the normal riffraff out, once those invite codes hit Chan sites like 4chan, the floodgates will be epically opened and the trolling will begin in earnest.

Guiding Principles

	“	whenever someone insists on everyone getting togther and creating some idealistic, open utopia, they're really just saying "this is what i think is awesome, and it's what i want. You should want it too. Join my cult and make my dream a reality."	„
	—pfat, who has many invite codes.

Dreamwidth claims to operate under the following pleasant and agreeable principles: Transparency, Freedom, and Respect. However, as with any other site that will allow fellow users to rate, comment, and reply, these high expectations are about as worthless as a U.N. Resolution written on the used and crusty underwear of a repeat felon in the workhouse. Since (as of this writing) Dreamwidth is in beta testing, these principles are not fully being scrutinized. Once the system goes public, the first ban will, in all likelihood, cause the sites first questioning of their golden code and generate what will become yet another drama cow amid the drama herd.

Transparency

Dreamwidth asserts that they “will always err on the side of providing more information, rather than less, whenever possible.” What this really means is that they will be completely open and honest about banning you the second you piss off a moderator or step on the toes of another, more liked user of the service.

Freedom

Since Dreamwidth believes in free expression, they don’t want to put limits on your submitted work. This will last a whole three seconds once the service is made public. That’s okay though, they are transparent and will again let you know just what you did wrong by banning you from the service.

Respect

You have got to be kidding me.

What Makes Dreamwidth So Special

And the internet sluts are already working their angles...

	“	We're all users first and foremost. Our motivation for creating Dreamwidth was to make an awesome site that we wanted to use and have as our online home.	„
	—Moar FAQ

Since the core development team dedicated to designing and building Dreamwidth all claim to be people who contribute artistically, they are fiendishly protective of “their baby.” This is a good thing to remember if you are honestly thinking of adding your content to their site. It is particularly important if you are adding what might be deemed “questionable content” because no good parent likes to see his or her baby dragged through the mud. Therefore, if it is at all possible, do not attempt to stretch the boundaries of taste while on their dime, after all, they are a diverse group of snobs.

Legal Obligations

Even though Dreamwidth makes epic platitudes concerning your content and how it will be treated, they must also follow the laws set down by the United States.

We get excited about creativity — from pro to amateur, from novels to haiku, from the artist who's been doing this for decades to the
person who just picked up a sketchbook last week. We support maximum freedom of creative expression, within the few restrictions we 
need to keep the service viable for other users. With servers in the US we're obliged to follow US laws, but we're serious about
knowing and protecting your rights when it comes to free expression and privacy. We will never put a limit on your creativity just
because it makes someone uncomfortable — even if that someone is us.

Translation: The second somebody files any sort of paperwork, be it a lawsuit or a cease and desist order, your content and your blog will be instantly removed and all traces of it shall vanish as if it were tossed into the Bermuda Triangle. They will deny ever hosting your work or, if it comes right down to it, they will hand you over to the feds quicker than lager turns to piss.

Open Expression

TL;DR plz...Open if you can use their complicated code.

	“	Whether you're writing about your cat, writing a novel, or writing anything in between, we want you to be comfortable here.	„
	—This comfort files out the window the second somebody hits the comment button.

Dreamwidth has created an online version of Microsoft’s famous program Notepad. With it, the average person can type out all sorts of interesting things ranging from recipes to how to hide the dead hookers in your trunk. As with any other social networking site, your fellow users can also use Notepad and “express themselves” all over your creations. More often than not, this means that you are going to be trolled by a 13-year-old kid who just got beaten up by his older sister.

Get Involved!

Dreamwidth is always looking for the following:

ARG! I don't even know what I am...

Just more bullshit.

• people dumb enough to pay for an account
• volunteers who will work for free
• den mothers who will watch over the site

What Dreamwidth is actually going to get, in order going from bad to worse:

• Trolls
• Pedophiles
• Murderers
• /b/tards

Not everybody is butthurt.

What to Expect

Same shit, different domain name.

	“	My parents took me to university. My mother was a psychologist at the counselling centre, and my father was an academic in the history department, and I played on my father's electric typewriter and drew on my mother's whiteboard and puzzled out the depressing cartoons on her noticeboard. It explains a lot, really.	„
	—Some emo-lesbian

While browsing Dreamwidth, you will begin to notice several common themes aside from the overtly pink pages. Besides the common depressed teenage girl you find on most social networking sites, on Dreamwidth you will also find a very large number of angry depressed teenage lesbians. While the term "teenage lesbian" looks good on paper, it must be stressed that most teenage lesbians are fat butch types who hate men and use MySpace camera angle shots to lure in the average, pretty bi-curious hipsters who are not very smart to begin with.

Doomed?

Legally protected speech

Dreamwidth's defense of legally protected speech on their site has caused them to lose their payment processing account, twice: Paypal booted them and Google Checkout did too. Dreamwidth is now asking for spare change.

File:Dreamwidth creditcards.jpeg

Dreamwidth is dropped by credit card processors

File:Dreamwidth payments.jpeg

Dreamwidth scrambles to find alternate payment routes

Dreamwidth blame "an organized troll group" who whined to Paypal and Google and told them to "OMG think of the children". Dreamwidth won't name the trolls, but remember, The Great LiveJournal Strikethrough of 2007 was down to Warriors for Innocence. Ironically, LiveJournal's caving to the hicks at WFI caused many Fanfic lesbians to desert LJ for Dreamwidth in the first place. Have the rednecks scored again?

Logs

«6:39:58» nowhereman: come dream with us
«6:40:38» dan: i read the word neurodiversity and actually
               looked it up to see if it was a word
«6:40:52» dan: because of all the weight that word might one day entail
«6:41:04» nukilla: what did you find
«6:41:08» dan: you
«6:41:22» nukilla: hug me
«6:41:23» dan: "i do stupid things on the internet, but because i am
               neurodiverse, its okay!!!"

«8:35:26» Sunny: dan, are you looking for an invite code?
«8:35:47» dan: god hell no
«8:35:51» dan: im doing the article for it
«8:35:56» Sunny: oh haha GOOD
«8:36:12» Sunny: I have one LJ friend who has switched and I got into a
                 huge argument with her about it
«8:36:25» Sunny: because it's lame and won't last
«8:36:39» Sunny: they can't deliever what they promise and they're
                 forgetting 10 years of internet history

Quotes

	“	We think accessibility for people with disabilities is a priority, not an afterthought. We think neurodiversity is a feature, not a bug. We believe in being inclusive, welcoming, and supportive of anyone who comes to us with good faith and the desire to build a community.	„
	—Did they just actually say the word “neurodiversity?”

	“	We use the service we're selling, and we built it because we wanted it ourselves. We won't treat people as second-class undesireables because they're non-mainstream or might frighten advertisers.	„
	—Wait until their first white supremacy blog goes up.

	“	We don't have advertisers to frighten. To us, you're not eyeballs. You're not pageviews. You're not demographic groups. You're people.	„
	—Once problems occur, you will become a mindless automaton to us, unless of course, you are a problem poster. At that point, you will be subject to our ridicule and then come the advertisements…

Summation of Dreamwidth

File:Dreamwidth explained.png

You’ve been there.

You’ve done that.

Yep...

See Also

• LiveJournal
• Do i have potential
• E-Trust
• Freedom of speech

External Links

• Dreamwidth News
• Why the site is down…again.
• Shit they pretend to care about.
• Click here to find somebody to troll.
• / Oh god this is good, one of the founders "Who am I?" pages.

Featured article May 7, 2009
Preceded by Rootbrian	Dreamwidth	Succeeded by Rachelle Waterman