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Rear Mission Devolved
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Did You Know: the fall of Percival is actually a parody of 9/11? |
<video type="youtube" id="AAjb5L-ZEbQ&autoplay=0&start=512" height="380" width="640" position="center" frame="false" />
—Hamilton's last badly voice acted words before he is impaled | ||
Front Mission Evolved(preferred to be called Rear Mission Devolved) is the remains of that one game where mechs took turns to blow the fuck out of each other. The dead and zombified remains, as the series "Front Mission" died 5 years ago. And just like a zombie, it is very degraded from it's original self. Speaking of zombies....
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Did You Know: HOLY SHIT THIS GAME HAS ZOMBIE MECHAS THAT WANT TO RIP OFF YOUR ENGINE AND EAT IT! |
Storyline
The storyline was made during a five minute meeting with beer and donuts. TL;DR: A second 9/11 is done but this time it's about 200 years in the future and the U.S.N(United States of Negromerica) blames the OCU(Oceania Communists United) AKA Commie Australiafor doing it and they both start a war. But it turns out it wasn't the OCU and it was just Al'Qeada. Silly Negromerica, now you have to apologize for accidentally deleting fucking Australia! (P.S. the plot was written by the same genius who made final fantasy 13.)
OH SHIT, ZOMBIE MECHAS!
It turns out that Al'Qaeda is hiding a weapon that can do mind control and bring mechas back to life and they are using it to do more 9/11 incidents all around the world! Sooner or later, the leader Cornelius announces that he is doing all this terror for the lulz, but who isn't?
Wanzers
Wanzers(Short for Wanking Panzer)is Hitler's secret weapon that was going to be used until he commited suicide. It's a small mecha(walking tank for those who aren't weeaboos) that can easily be taken down by a tank or helicopter but is still considered advanced technology.
Characters
Dylan Ramsey: He is an engineer who makes sex robots for the Japanese men because they can't get any real pussy.
Cornelius Werner: One of the most original villains in a game you can think of. A scar, black suit, a mullet, and a tag that says "I want to take over the fucking world" on it.
Captain Hamilton:A rip off of Sgt. Foley.
Adela Seawell: A hairy ass woman that Dylan needs to shave
Multiplayer
Bugs, glitches, unbalanced. You name it, the multiplayer is a pile of shit. It may seem hard because the other team always has high level people with 1 hit kill weapons, but it's okay you will get to rank 70 in only a few days. You just need to put up with the crap smeared all over the game.
—Some gamespot reviewer | ||
—Truth | ||
Trolling
As balance is bad, trolling ensues. You can easily troll all the little 13 year old kids by taking advantage of this unbalance. Thank you Double Helix, for all this unbalance. The best way to troll is by using a bazooka and extremely fast wanzer. That's all it takes kids to have those 13 year olds crying on their knees. The bazooka will rape anything in it's path along with rockets and pile bunkers. Now kids it's time for an example of the balance in multiplayer from the point of view of the 13 year old boy who got trolled <video type="youtube" id="rUcpc0kPjFA&autoplay=0&start=26" height="380" width="640" position="center" frame="false" />
See Also
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Rear Mission Devolved is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |