BioShock Infinite

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Bioshock Infinite is the third, as well as the most overrated, installment of the BioShock series. As its predecessors its a first person shooter that tries to be System Shock 2 as it incorporates cities located in inconvenient locations (i.e. space, underwater, and the sky), everyone in said city trying to kill you over some rebellion, and superpowers. But where the first two Bioshock games only featured little-to-no escort and a quick plot twist, BioShock Infinite is needlessly just one big escort mission and contains the most pretentious plot in any video game ever. Lets just say it involves time travel, plot holes, and a girl who never learns to wear a shirt that covers her cleavage.

Plot

Clear and concise

<video type="youtube" id="bJl8K2qpapM" width="200" height="180" position="right" desc="Nothing makes an ending more exciting than walking for half an hour."/> The game takes place in 1912 as you play as a broke alcoholic named Booker hired to get a girl (Elizabeth) from a flying city. As you may have guessed, the game is a ten-hour long escort mission. During said ten hours you spend 100 percent of the time getting the fuck out of the city moving from one point to another, while some things do happen it is all literally pointless because the game does a complete recon killing you before the game starts. Confused? you have no fucking idea.

Many gamers have tried to make sense the games ending. While most people see the game for what it is (being riddled with plot holes) it has not stopped some people from wasting there time by releasing videos, articles and even diagrams trying to explain this mess.

Gameplay

Nothing like a good old sip of piss mixed with vodka to give you special powers to summon some whore ghost to cause people to shoot themselves, or to have the ability to burn the flesh right off your masturbation hand. Bioshock Infinite has re-defined the meta in gameplay with these gamebreaking new abilities that look almost exactly like some other shit game that come out a few years earlier. No one actually knows what game that was because HOLY SHIT YOU'RE FLYING IN THE FUCKING SKY. You can literally take a number 2 off the side of the floating city of Columbus and hope it hits some starving african right in the fucking face. Make sure you don't chew your corn though, because then you'll be doing them a favor by providing them with the best meal they've ever had in their entire AID filled life, preventing starvation one at a time you god damn saint. More about the gamplay includes shooting the founding fathers right the in face, and an awful half assed plotline that makes references to Christianity and patriotism. They tried pulling a Christopher Nolan and make another Inception which was arguably one of the shittiest best worst movies of all time, but failed even against that dingle berry of a film. If you want textures that look like its a photo of the inside of a public toilet, and the subtlety of leading some bitch hoe around for the entire game, then this kind of gameplay is straight up your alley.

Gallery

About missing Pics

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  This one is especially hot if your fetish happens to be incredibly weird dialogue that no real human being would ever say.
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  Autism ahoy!
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  "You're welcome Daddy!"
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  Infinite's story is very original and deep.
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  10/10

See Also

• Bioshock

BioShock Infinite is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.