Harvard

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Harvard is an American charm school located in Cambridge, Massachusetts (the most pompous suburb of Boston). Harvard is peculiar in that it happens to be the oldest English speaking university in the United States, but no one who lives within over nine thousand miles of it can speak the language properly. For proof, just ask your average Bostonian for directions to Harvard's car park.

Harvard is sometimes known for producing American presidents, Fortune 500 CEO's, poets and civil rights leaders, but mostly it's known for creating pretentious douchebags. A Harvard education instills one with the belief that they are more awesome than anything but they shouldn't dare tell anyone.

Notable graduates include JFK, the Roosevelts, that dude from Audioslave, that emo fag from Weezer, Natalie Portman (because she's a prototype for the New World Order's master race), Thurston Howell III, "the Unabomber", Captain Crunch and Jesus.

How to piss off a Harvard Student

• Slapping napkins with girl's phone numbers onto windows they happen to be eating behind and saying "I got her number. How do you like them apples?"
• Talk about how awesome it is to be in Skull and Bones.
• Ask them which one of the Kennedys they're related to.
• Tell them they look Jewish
• Ask them to show you their Illuminati membership card.
• Ask why Yale didn't accept them.
• Remind them just how much debt they have at graduation.

See also

• Lena Chen
• Meow Wars
• Patrick Hamm