Foodfight!

Budget: $65,000,000
Box Office: $73,000

FoodFight! aka The Room of animated movies (comparing this to The Room is a huge insult to Tommy Wiseau) is the world's longest Playstation 1 cutscene that is looks like it was animated by Chernobyl Victims.

"Plot" Summary

The movie (if you can call it that) is pretty much Casablanca with a bunch of Dreamwork's rejects. It starts out in some super market that looks like Ru'paul did the interior design. After closing time, a bunch of fucked up food mascots, aka Ikes (subtle movie, real subtle) come to life, so this movie is like Toy Story except if you show this movie to your kids, they'll try to kill you in your sleep. The main character is Charlie Sheen as a Srcuff Mcgruff lookalike named Dex Dogtective, who is the only form of law enforcement in the crime ridden slums of this super market. Dex, along with his nigger squirrel friend named Daredevil Dan, aka this movie's equivalent of Jar Jar Binks, go around doing... stuff. Dex's bimbo fiance, Sunshine Goodness (whoever named these characters need to be shot) who is played by a 15 year old Hilary Duff, gets kidnapped or some stupid shit like that and Dex gets so butthurt, he quits being a detective, thus thrusting the super market into an anarchist cesspool of crime and murder (if only, that would actually make this movie more interesting.) Soon, this dude with with tourettes, who is actually the best character in the movie (mainly because he is voiced by Christopher Lloyd) comes to the store with Brand X which in the mascot world is the equivalent of Nazi's. So yes, this is a kids movie with fucking Nazi's. If for some reason you haven't rage quit after reading this far, the Brand X nazi regime is led by an anorexic whore named Lady X, voiced by the washed up Eva Longoria, who with a couple of sexual innuendos and pointless dance moves and yoga poses, somehow manages to take control of the city. After years of cocaine abuse, Dex decides to be a detective again and attempts to start a resistance to stop these nazi products. After a few confusing plot holes and a miserable looking battle scene, Dex's girlfriend, who was supposed to be dead, suddenly reappears and then after a cat fight between her and Lady X, Lady X gets cunt-punted and turns into a fat cow. Dex and his bimbo girlfriend get married and it is revealed that Dex is a dirty jew and that this movie was jewish propaganda the whole time.

Facts about this Abomination

The following is a list of true facts about FoodFight!

• It cost $65 million to make.
• Was released in 2012 and has animation that looks like it was from 1999.
• In December 2002, while the film was still in development, the hard drives holding the animation were stolen. The filmmakers had to start over. ...YYYYEEEAAA....SUUURRREEEE.
• The title on the DVD has pictures of Charlie the Tuna, Twinkie the Kid, that Pickle Bird, and Miss Butterworth in the middle so it looks like they are the main characters when really they are barely in the movie, tricking people into thinking the movie is about them and therefore interesting.
• This movie is 45% food puns, 45% sexual innuendos, 10% Brand Slogans, and 100% shit.
• It cost $65 million to make.
• The movie has a 3.3 score on IMDB ...which is far too generous.
• In 2004, the company that made this movie said they planned to be the biggest rival to Pixar. We can see how well that turned out.
• Director Larry Kasanoff was booted from the film near the end of production.
• Charlie Sheen's cocaine addiction was because of this movie.
• In the movie, Dex eats raisins. Raisins are extremely toxic to dogs.
• A lot of lines were recorded over the phone and it is very obvious.
• It cost $65 million dollars to make.

Child Friendly Quotes

As a rated PG film starring Charlie Sheen, this movie chalks up enough sexual innuendo to make your mom wet.

	“	It warms my heart how you love my raisins	„
	—Hilary Duff, age 15

	“	I'm gonna pop your corn, lady!	„
	—Dex

	“	Lady X wants to go home and play lick the frosting.	„
	—Daredevil Dan

	“	Oh man! I never got to play lick the icing with sweetcakes!	„
	—Daredevil Dan

	“	With you on my back? Not that i mind that.	„
	—A homosexual bat

	“	Only Brand X officials are permitted in the aisles. All violators will be punished. Oh I hope there are violators, I just love violation!	„
	—A homosexual green nazi

	“	I could just kill you, that would be fun! more fun than a spanking!	„
	—The same gay nazi

	“	I think I just wet myself... fells rather nice	„
	—Homonazi after getting a gun stuck up his dickhole.

	“	Oh mamacita, yo sweetcakes, nice packaging! How about some chocolate frosting? I'd like to butter your muffin.	„
	—Daredevil Dan

	“	Are those melons real?	„
	—Daredevil Dan

	“	Care to join me in a warm rinse?	„
	—Lady X to Dex

	“	I'm not that dirty.	„
	—Dex's response.

	“	I will scrub your bubbles, Dex	„
	—Well in that case...

	“	Wait! I haven't shown you my secret ingredient.	„
	—Lady X

	“	Yea saltlick, you can kiss my additives.	„
	—Daredevil Dan

	“	What can I say? Chicks dig chocolate.	„
	—Lady X

	“	Lady X digs my sweet flavor and oh so sweet bod.	„
	—Daredevil Dan

	“	Size only matters for men.	„
	—Lady X

	“	C'mon baby, Dan's your man, melts in your mouth, not in your hand.	„
	—Daredevil Dan

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Of course no children's movie is complete without a heaping scoop of Jewish propaganda.

	“	We need to send all inferior Ikes to where they belong... to the expiration station.	„
	—Lady X referring to the Jewish Ikes.

	“	Dex is jewish? - Yea! Kosher food! - Soy vey! Who knew!	„
	—This is literally how the movie ends.

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what people said about this movie

	“	FOODFIGHT! is a sick and pathetic effort to take advantage of young children for monetary gain. It raises the commercial assault on children to a new level of brazenness. Some people will stoop to any level to make a buck, and sadly, FOODFIGHT! is an example.	„
	—Gary Ruskin, Commercial Alert

	“	"...the grotesque ugliness of the animation alone would be a deal-breaker even if the film weren’t also glaringly inappropriate in its sexuality, nightmare-inducing in its animation, and filled with Nazi overtones and iconography even more egregiously unfit for children than the script’s wall-to-wall gauntlet of crude double entendres and weird intimations of interspecies sex.	„
	—The AV Club

	“	I actually worked on this movie for a bit. It was one of my first jobs in the industry and let me tell you, if you think it was a train wreck viewing, you should have seen how terrible it was to work on it. The sad truth is there were plenty of talented people working there. many of those people moved on to major studios in both film, TV and games. The bottom line is the director, Larry Kasanoff is a talent-less, classless scumbag that should be banned from Hollywood until the end of time. All of the inappropriate innuendos are a direct product of his "creative hand". I cannot tell you how many times this moron derailed production with his brainless input. It literally has cost the studio millions of dollars. They eventually stepped in and removed him from the project. Unfortunately, that was a decade and millions of dollars late. I am so ashamed of this movie that I have completely left working there off of my resume. On behalf of the many artists that have had the dubious distinction of working on this dumpster fire, I apologize to all of humanity for our part in this.	„
	—Anonymous

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videos

A fair review of this mess

See Also

• Charlie Sheen

External Links

• Archive of Official Site