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PlayStation 5
PlayStation 5 is an overpriced wifi router you will never be able to buy as some rich dude who manages to be scalper has like a billion bots that have bought every single PlayStation 5 at your local store. Even if you did manage to buy one it's likely the delivery man will just steal it all for himself. You will be stuck with your lame PlayStation 4 for the rest of eternity.
History
The console was first mentioned publicly in May, 2019. None of this matters though as we knew nothing about the console. Sony skipped E3 thinking they're to good to fail on stage. Sony didn't told us jack shit about the console, leading to many rumors and leaks. One was the ugly prototype of the console. Eventually Sony had a presentation showing off the graphics of the console. Then a showcase showing a shit-load of games and console was officially revealed to look like a wifi router.
Features
- The games are now in 4K for extra shinny new graphix.
- It supports 8K which basically means, upscale the games to look like 8K.
- You can play PlayStation 4 games, but not PlayStation 3, or PlayStation 2 or PlayStation games as "who want's to play old games".
Duel Sense
For the first time in history Sony finally changed up their controller. Now there controller looks like fucking everyone else's, as who want's to be unique.
This controller new feature is "Duel Sense" which is a ripoff of Nintendo Switch "HD Rumble", which will probably barely be used just like the PS4's touchpad.
Games
Gran Turismo 7: Drive a car around in an enclosed circle. AGAIN.
Spider-Man 2 LOL DISREGARD THAT SPIDER-MAN HASN'T BEEN GOOD IN YEARS!
Buying a PS5
Buying a PS5 is an artificially difficult MMO RPG were you play the role of a desperate customer wanting to get your hands on piece of plastic crap. To play you put an order on the PS5, which you have 1% of winning. It is basically a cleverly disguised lootbox by the jews at Sony to increase the value of the PS5 from jew-gold.
You should buy a PS5 as fast as your can as someone who is better than gets it before you. The game is known to overrun by scalpers who exploit the game buy ordering a bunch of bots buy the game to increase jew-gold. It is the most effective strategy at winning the game as the game the game is broken profits of mostly of scalpers.
Sony said they where going through a stock storage of PS5. However it is obvious that the goal was the most money out Sony-ponies that will suck their dick for ever. The amount of PS5 being produced hasn't went up and scalpers are steal buying PS5 while the average person is seething.
How to buy a PlayStation 5
Note you aren't actually getting your PlayStation 5, but you can try to attempt this.
1. Look online on Amazon for a PlayStation 5 or Rob your local Gamestop (Results may vary)
2. Try to click on it as fast as you can
3. If the last two steps didn't work then repeat them until it works.
4. Wait for it too come
PlayStation 5 restocks
Every week there's a restock so people can actually buy a PlayStation 5. however, this has made things worse. Scalpers can use bots to buy all PlayStation 5 at a store, this means they can get all of it before people have a chance at getting one. The scalpers then post all PlayStation 5 on eBay for ridiculous ass prices. This leads to the prices going up, and you know what Sony keeps on doing? Making more of them. The problem keeps getting worse and worse and will stay down that path for who knows how long.
Despite fucking over everyone else. The scalpers get super butthurt over how their as. Their also losing jew gold from buying the PlayStation 5 as they bought everything at the store with bots, which isn't enough to save their bank accounts as no one is buying PlayStation 5 from these sad fucks.
See Also
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PlayStation 5 is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |