Blip

BREAKING NEWS!! August 20th 2015 was the day blip.tv finally shut down for good! Say hi to Google Video for us!

The site's highly exciting logo.

Blip (formerly blip.tv) was YouTube's autistic, elitist snob cousin and used to be run by Maker Studios. It used to be an open-platform video-sharing site like YouTube, and you used to get an account on their website like it. If it was good in the opinion of their staff, a group of monkeys who have an incredibly bad taste in web shows, your showpage (their name for channel) would not look like a donkey's super smelly anus. However, since 2013, it realized how many of Youtube's people were fags, so they stopped hosting their shitty content and kept what it thought was good enough, purging everyone else and becoming the elitist that it is today.

It was founded in 2005, but it only got popular in 2012 because that's when people started using it to avoid YouTube's new layout. Blip is run by a bunch of draconic idiots who think that everything has to be like a TV show, and their forum moderators are sensitive as all hell. Mention Jews and Nazis and you get your ass canned. Good luck trying to see your movie reviews in China and Turkey if you're there as well, Blip's blocked off by those countries.

Their video player is the most outdated cow shit you will ever see. It only runs on Flash, they only take up to 1 GB videos, and still uses H.264 video codecs and AAC audio codecs. Even though it's 2015, Blip still thinks they're in the early 2000s. ZippCast is more advanced than Blip at this point.

Blip’s slogan is “to deliver the best original web series to audiences across multiple platforms”, which is why two of their biggest moneymaking companies give reviews to everything in existence and do Let's Plays. Yup, we can totally see the originality there, as original as a Sonic recolor.

History

"Sorry, you're not making us enough Jew Golds, go back to Google, faggot"

• 2005 - The site is founded and no one gave a crap.
• March 2012 - YouTube makes its Cosmic Panda channel layout mandatory. People get pissed off and lulz ensue.
• April 2012 - People start using Blip cause it doesn't look like Google shat on it.
• May 2012 - People stop using Blip because it sucks too hard.
• August 2013 - Disney expands their world-dominating empire and buys out Maker Studios, thus buying out Blip as a result.
• November 2013 - Blip bans everyone that didn't make them enough Jew Gold.
• August 20th, 2015 - Blip will forever close its doors and will shut down. Better luck next time, go back to your lord and savior Google.

Rules and Ads

Blip's staff doesn't understand the difference between TV and the internets. For this reason, they will delete your account if it doesn't seem like something that should be on TV. This is why the only groups of people who use it are the Nostalgia Critic and RoosterTeeth and people that have a key to Maker's backdoor. Apparently they don't realize how much disturbing shit is allowed on TV nowadays.

Blip's ads used to be voluntary, but now because they were growing broke, they now put ads on every video, and only lets users choose five special videos to remain as pre-roll ad virgins and lulz soon ensued, especially by Linkara having a TL;DW bitchfest about it.

Their ad system is made so poorly and coded by only one ADHD intern, that you have to watch the same ad over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again over the course of one video. Adblock is a must if you want to survive your journey into this place, however Blip found a way to troll those people as well.

They implemented an ad blocker BLOCKER that stops the video from starting for a full minute while Blip chastises you for it. If that wasn't bullshit enough, they also forced everyone to include advertising on their videos or remove their content completely, going from ad-free to a strict, pimp-like business model, which amounts to "advertise all of this shit like the sell-out whore you are, or we'll execute your show".

Everything Must Go, and We Mean Everything

On November 7, 2013, Blip decided to troll everyone by telling everyone that wasn't TGWTG that if they weren't making enough money for them, they'd axe off their accounts and remove all of their videos, because they think they have standards. It was a b&ing of a global scale, and everyone was pissed that they couldn't have their caek and eat it too. So everyone was b&, nobody that got axed missed them, and it left the door open to new, more worthy shitty TV web shows to be made, but this year, they'll stop doing that as well.

According to emails Blip has sent out to multiple people this year, it seems they're quite content with TWO companies making them money, so Maker Studios will most likely force Blip to close their doors to anyone new wanting to host their shitty Let's Plays on it, and purge everyone else that isn't a part of the Maker/TGWTG/RoosterTeeth hivemind potentially by the end of 2015. Great choice there, that totally won't bite you in the ass. Seeing as how stuck in the Middle Ages Blip is, it'll most likely not be missed, soon going the way of Internet Explorer as a part of a list of things we're glad to see finally die.

RIP

On August 20th, 2015, Blip realized that competing with Youtube and Skynet was pointless with only Channel Awesome failures and Let's Play washouts doing their shows, so they and Maker came to a decision to shut down the entire site. Better finish up downloading your Channel Awesome/Rooster Teeth fapping collection now!

See also

• TV
• YouTube
• Adblock

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