Bully (Video Game)

Bully (Canis Canem Edit), is another game made by Rockstar that caused epic levels of butthurt from concerned mothers, like Jack Thompson - who sought to get the game b&. In Bully, you play as Jimmy Hopkins, a 15 year old punk who's been expelled from numerous schools for foul behavior and has one last shot in life - Bullworth Academy. Here, he must fight against and dominate several different cliques: Bullies, Preppies, Greasers, Nerds, Jocks, and Townies (Dropouts); in that order. It is notable for very lulzy dialogue and missions, more bugs in the code than in a Vietnamese prostitute's asshole, being one of the most controversial games of all time, and for successfully pulling off an accurate portrayal of the American public school system.

Background

Bully was in production since 2003~2004, being announced in May 2005. Originally, the game was portraying the main character as an antagonist who bullied others. In the final version, you pretty much do the same shit except against people who deserve it. It was built on the same engine that GTA SA was using. Eventually, they re-released the game as Bully:Scholarship Edition, which featured a few more hours of content and was built on a newer engine, yet still looked ugly as fuck.

Gameplay

Imagine any of the PS2-era Grand Theft Auto games. Now imagine that it's a school and a town half the size of GTA 3's world map. Welcome to the world of Bullworth. You pretty much spend half the game doing shitty minigames in each class, a bunch of fetch quests (collectibles) and the story missions. These missions only add up to 10~20 hours of gametime, with the other half spent on tedious bullshit. Like the GTA games, as time goes on, you unlock other sections of the map - native to each clique. Sadly, Jimmy isn't armed with Tec-9's, Pipe bombs, shotguns and other fun weapons, but boring shit like slingshots and eggs.

Storyline

Bully takes place in New England in a small town. Jimmy was expelled from 7 different schools and now Bullworth is his last shot to succeed. His parents were neglectful and abusive, leaving him to fend for himself; especially for the duration of the game. Upon arriving at the school, he meets several people; Gary Smith (the main antagonist, who backstabs him early in the game, and pulls a lot of strings to get Jimmy attacked by the other cliques), Pete Kowalski (A gay jewish kid who's the least popular student), and numerous others. The bullies immediately attack Jimmy, but get pwn'd until Russel shows up to chimp out. Then you spend 20 hours going through different areas of the game to beat the shit out of the other cliques and secure your throne as the year goes on and the seasons change. Eventually Gary takes over the school, so Jimmy must stop him before he perpetrates a School Shooting.

Cliques

There are 6 cliques in the game, whom you must take down and control:

Bullies

The first group that fucks with you. Stereotypical dickheads, but not cool enough to be jocks. They are lead by Russel Northrop, a retarded ogre whom you take down in the first few hours of the game. After this, the bullies become your greatest allies- Ironic, isn't it?

Preppies

The Preppies notice your fine boxing skills and invite you to their boxing club. They are typical New-England area upper class snobs; incestual, idiotic, and ill-tempered. Their daddies are every other kids' parents bosses, causing this clique to be universally loathed and despised. Over time, you give them what they deserve and beat the shit out of them into submission.

Greasers

Up next are the greasers; lower class tough guys who keep 1950's counter culture alive and well. They are second to the jocks in the hierarchy. Moderately athletic and very savage, they provide some of the most difficult challenges.

Nerds

Next are the Nerds- autistic backstabbing geniuses. Early in the game, you assist them but now they turn on you. So you have to put them in their place in an epic showdown using potato guns.

Jocks

These are the closet case shitheads who made all of our lives living hell in school. Athletic and socially intelligent, these assholes call the shots. But now they will pay - but sadly not in a sequel to LOLumbine. Eventually these roid monkeys get put down by Jimmy, and now all of the students submit to his authority.. for a short time.

Townies

Townies are dropouts; they either got expelled or couldn't handle the shithole that is the american school system. They have come to greatly resent all the students. They mostly do drugs and hang out around chemical plants. They take you on, but you put them in their place and gain their loyalty in time to stop the 1992 LA Riots going on at Bullworth.

Quotes

	“	So here I am, at probably the worst school in the country, whose alumni are nothing but arms dealers, serial killers, and corporate lawyers. Real scum. And that old creep thinks he can tame me? We shall see, my friend. I only give people what they have coming to them.	„
	—Jimmy Hopkins, intro

	“	Russell would be barbarian king thousand years ago! - Slow down so Russell can SMASH YOU!!! - RUSSELL SMASH!!! - You're dead new kid, dead.	„
	—Russel Northrop

	“	Hopkins, you're quite the nastiest little boy I've ever encountered! You excel at causing trouble, and I excel at fixing little boys like you, at making you into respectable members of our community here at the Academy. - Even that fat kid who wets himself is more popular than you. - Coincidentally, it has also come to my attention that you are a filthy, dirty, foul-mouthed awful little vandal.	„
	—Dr.Crabblesnitch, Principal

Controversy

Obviously the game was going to cause a lot of butthurt among americunts and other pussies throughout the world, as it did. Most of the autism was directed towards the fact that you can kiss other boys in the game, which rustled many jimmies. The fact that the entire point of the game is school violence didn't do any better for its image, considering it was released in 2006, when Columbine was still relatively fresh in american's minds. Many Teachers were butthurt over the game and pledged against it.

Jack Thompson

Jack Thompson has called the game a "Columbine simulator" [1], despite the fact that nothing in the game ever dies, except that one giant plant monster. Even the rats are just taking a nap after you blast them the fuck out with the slingshots. Instead of death, people are known to lay on the ground, grasping themselves in pain, until spontaneously fading out of existence for some reason. Jack filed a LOLsuit to get the game b& from Florida. He tried to jew the court and Rockstar Games for a free copy of the game, which they were willing to comply with. In court, the Judge made the logical decision and favored in Rockstar's side [2]; the game was not restricted from sale in any way. Jack ragequit and screamed at the judge, severely damaging his reputation and helping his eventual termination from practicing law. After the game was leaked to the american public, americans overwhelmingly supported Bully.

Banned in Brazil

Brazil judges banned the game from Brazillian stores, because judge Flávio Mendes Rabelo cried about the game being harmful to minors. He enforced this bogus ban with a daily fine of $1,000.00 to anyone caught in possession. It should be noted that Brazil is a third world shithole with one of the highest homicide rates in the world, where little girls are hypersexualized and put in donkey shows- but this game is the one thing that ought-right has to be destroyed.

PC edition

Titled Bully: Scholarship Edition because getting a scholarship would be more fun than to play this wretched piece of shit. This "game" came out in 2008 looking like it came out in 2002. And then it ran like shit, like all PC games. It crashes all the time, and is locked at 30fps. To fix the shitty game you need to:

Go to the bully installation folder
Go to Shaderbinaries
Delete all the files from the shaders folder
Copy the files from the folder 'copy of shaders'
Move 'low' folder to desktop
Rename it to 'off'
Rename original 'low' folder to 'off'
Move the newly named 'off' folder from the desktop
Go into the game, set resolution to 640x480.

Congratulations you can now play the game in 640x480 a lower resolution than PS1 games. To become a true PC Master Race nerd you could download this tool and actually increase the frame rate.

There is an upside to buying the game (for the 3rd time) on PC: Mods. Naturally, l33t h4x0rz used their skills to make porn and gun mods. Now you can emulate the columbine massacre without having to buy Hatred!