Life Coach

A life coach(also known as a cult leader) is a charlatan and a deep thinker who is simply too patheic to get a job at anything, so he attemps to make a living by throwing far-reaching promises he can't fullfil, althought he at least bothers to use rtheorical garbage as explanations for how he is going to fullfil his promises. No matter how dumb and meanigless his advices and arguements are, he knows that there will always be some incredibly stupid people that will actually eat his every word and will view him as an awesome guru, which is why life coaches do often succed in making a living out of their stupid "coaching" even thought they are a disaster to society.

Properties

1. He has no education whatsoever at anything, sometimes expect from a stupid institution with no requirements that gives a coaching license after less learning hours than the averge time it takes to eat a candy.

2. He is good at answering every question he's asked about anything(usually by attacking the questioner instead of actually answering his question or inveting baseless answers out of his ass that the questioner would lick his ass to).

3. He has infinite amounts of free time and his family ignores him(or is dead) - so that he can spy on his belivers at all of his time and do the most vacid crap imagineable.

4. Sometimes he does what he does simply because they want intercourse. That works too.

How to become a life coach

a. Say you can help people in a really awesome way(like giving motivation, immortal life, etc), without explaining how clearly.

b. Mock everyone expect yourself, to make people think that you with your special powers(usually it's either intelligence or some mystical shit) are literally disrespectfull god.

c. Only accept to "help" asspies.

d. Meet up with them(either in groups or one by one or both) and take huge amounts of money for every meeting, and pull advices out of your ass that are related to your special power. Make sure to leave every meeting with something unfinished so that they keep coming often.

e. Spy on all of them and make sure to respone to every arguement against you that reveales what you're hiding they read. They'll be on Facebook usually since this is where the dumbest people on earth post their opinions, like your belivers, so don't be too hard-pressed to become a lfe coach beacause of this.