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Copypaste of Vovan: Difference between revisions
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== English translation (not strict) == | == English translation (not strict) == | ||
Recently I started to like covering myself in stale feces and masturbating. Almost every morning I walk around my neighborhood with a large garbage bag and collect all the crap I see. It takes a whole day to get two bags full of shit. But it all pays off when I come home after a hard day, go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water and... pour all the crap into the bathtub. And then I masturbate, imagining that I'm being devoured by all the feces. All in all, I think, that poo has its own mind, each pile of shit has its own family, place, feelings, we shouldn't just flush them down the toilet, we should take care of them, talk to them, pet them... And you know what, I had a wonderful dream while lying in the bathtub yesterday, I dived into the sea and it turned into shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, everything turned into poo, even Cthulhu<ref>Originally, it was "Allah".</ref> himself. | Recently I started to like covering myself in stale feces and masturbating. Almost every morning I walk around my neighborhood with a large garbage bag and collect all the crap I see. It takes a whole day to get two bags full of shit. But it all pays off when I come home after a hard day, go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water and... pour all the crap into the bathtub. And then I masturbate, imagining that I'm being devoured by all the feces. All in all, I think, that poo has its own mind, each pile of shit has its own family, place, feelings, we shouldn't just flush them down the toilet, we should take care of them, talk to them, pet them... And you know what, I had a wonderful dream while lying in the bathtub yesterday, I dived into the sea and it turned into shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, everything turned into poo, even Cthulhu<ref>Originally, it was "Allah".</ref> himself. | ||
=== En français === | |||
Et moi, j’aime me mettre de la merde pas frais et me branler. Chaque journée je suis en vadrouille avec un sac noire et en mets tout le merde que je trouve. Ca prend la journée entiere pour remplir deux sacs. Mais alors, quand j’ai retouné à la maison après une journée difficile, j’etais allé à la bain, l’avais remli de l’eau chaud et… ah… avais jeté mon tresor ici. Et je me branlais en m’imaginant que je suis englouté par un grand organisme de la merde. Et en generale il me semble, que les merdes peuvent penser, qu’elles ont leur propres familles, villes, emotions, ne les enlavez pas dans la cuvette, il vaut mieux que vous les hebergiez, que vous parliez avec eux, que vous les caressiez… Et hier dans la bain j’avais eu un reve formidable, comme si j’avais plongé dans une mer, et elle s’etais transformé dans la merde, les poissons, les algues, les meduses, tous etaient fait de la merde, même le ciel, même Allah! | |||
==Related Articles== | ==Related Articles== | ||
Revision as of 06:35, 23 November 2016
Copypaste of Vovan is shocking story which is popular among Russian imageboards.
Why "of Vovan"? Cause Vovan is little name of Vladimir Sorokin who is famous among Russians for his feces-eating story and anal humor.
Original text
А я люблю обмазываться не свежим говном и дрочить. Каждый день я хожу по земле с черным мешком для мусора и собераю в него все говно которое вижу. На два полных мешка целый день уходит. Зато, когда после тяжёлого дня я прихожу домой, иду в ванну, включаю горячую воду...ммм и сваливаю в нее свое сокровище. И дрочу, представляя, что меня поглотил единый организм говно. Мне вообще кажется, что какашки, умеют думать, у них есть свои семьи, города, чувства, не смывайте их в унитаз, лучше приютите у себя, говорите с ними, ласкайте их.... А вчера в ванной, мне преснился чудный сон, как будто я нырнул в море, и оно прератилось в говно, рыбы, водоросли, медузы, все из говна, даже небо, даже Аллах.
English translation (not strict)
Recently I started to like covering myself in stale feces and masturbating. Almost every morning I walk around my neighborhood with a large garbage bag and collect all the crap I see. It takes a whole day to get two bags full of shit. But it all pays off when I come home after a hard day, go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water and... pour all the crap into the bathtub. And then I masturbate, imagining that I'm being devoured by all the feces. All in all, I think, that poo has its own mind, each pile of shit has its own family, place, feelings, we shouldn't just flush them down the toilet, we should take care of them, talk to them, pet them... And you know what, I had a wonderful dream while lying in the bathtub yesterday, I dived into the sea and it turned into shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, everything turned into poo, even Cthulhu[1] himself.
En français
Et moi, j’aime me mettre de la merde pas frais et me branler. Chaque journée je suis en vadrouille avec un sac noire et en mets tout le merde que je trouve. Ca prend la journée entiere pour remplir deux sacs. Mais alors, quand j’ai retouné à la maison après une journée difficile, j’etais allé à la bain, l’avais remli de l’eau chaud et… ah… avais jeté mon tresor ici. Et je me branlais en m’imaginant que je suis englouté par un grand organisme de la merde. Et en generale il me semble, que les merdes peuvent penser, qu’elles ont leur propres familles, villes, emotions, ne les enlavez pas dans la cuvette, il vaut mieux que vous les hebergiez, que vous parliez avec eux, que vous les caressiez… Et hier dans la bain j’avais eu un reve formidable, comme si j’avais plongé dans une mer, et elle s’etais transformé dans la merde, les poissons, les algues, les meduses, tous etaient fait de la merde, même le ciel, même Allah!
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Copypaste of Vovan is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
- ↑ Originally, it was "Allah".