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Laura Loomer: Difference between revisions
imported>WildGooseBWC Created page with "'''Laura Elizabeth Loomer''' is a hook-nosed Christ-killing reporter for The Rebel Media who was formerly employed by James O'Keefe's Project Veritas. File:LauraLoomer.jpeg..." |
imported>Cobaltcat Added see also and el. Added some shit puns. And other shit. |
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==Early life== | ==Early life== | ||
In her interview with the Jewish Daily Forward, Loomer says she got clowned on as a kid for being a morbidly obese piece of shit with a large hook nose and every other student was so repulsed by her presence that she was forced to eat in solitude during every meal. | Laura was so fat as a child, she was forced to eat in solitude - every meal. Probably because they were afraid she would eat the other children. | ||
In her interview with the Jewish Daily Forward, Loomer says she got clowned on as a kid for being a morbidly obese piece of shit with a large hook nose and every other student was so repulsed by her presence that she was forced to eat in solitude during every meal. | |||
{{quote|I ate every single meal by myself for an entire semester|{{archive|http://archive.is/zTVN9#selection-4309.1-4309.58|Source}}}} | |||
Loomer's kike dad raised her to identify as “ethnically, culturally and politically Jewish” yet she gets pissed anytime someone brings up the fact that she behaves like a stereotypical Jew. | |||
==Julius Caesar Play Disruption== | ==Julius Caesar Play Disruption== | ||
| Line 31: | Line 33: | ||
==TireGate== | ==TireGate== | ||
Loomer' | People on the right-wing rim started getting tired of Loomer, since bitch didn't do shit since the Shakespeare in the Park drama, her popularity quickly becoming flat - she needed to make new threads, exposure makes the wheel go round, so she took to Twitter and claimed that Alt-Right neo-Nazis tracked her down and slashed her one tire. But only the one. <br /> | ||
<center> | |||
''600000 BC''<br />Man invents fire<br /> | |||
|<br /> | |||
''9500 BC''<br />Man invents the wheel<br /> | |||
|<br /> | |||
''2006 AD''<br />Twitter is created <br /> | |||
|<br /> | |||
''2017 AD''<br />Laura Loopy Loomer uses the first wheel on twitter to burn her own career | |||
</center> | |||
<br /> | |||
[[File:Slashtweet.png|center]] | [[File:Slashtweet.png|center]] | ||
| Line 43: | Line 54: | ||
After finding out nobody believed her totally legit hate crime story, Loomer began lashing out at fellow e-celebs and condemning them for not defending her | After finding out nobody believed her totally legit hate crime story, Loomer began lashing out at fellow e-celebs and condemning them for not defending her wife's son tire. | ||
[[File:LauraMad.png|center]] | |||
<center>{{embedded tweet|https://twitter.com/antiheroHW/status/892953200294150144}}</center> | |||
==See Also== | |||
*[[The Rebel Media]] - Her employers, somehow this bitch gets paid to spread her nonsense | |||
==External links== | |||
*{{twitter|RadicalLeftTire}} - Parody account of her. | |||
Revision as of 12:25, 4 August 2017
Laura Elizabeth Loomer is a hook-nosed Christ-killing reporter for The Rebel Media who was formerly employed by James O'Keefe's Project Veritas.
Early life
Laura was so fat as a child, she was forced to eat in solitude - every meal. Probably because they were afraid she would eat the other children. In her interview with the Jewish Daily Forward, Loomer says she got clowned on as a kid for being a morbidly obese piece of shit with a large hook nose and every other student was so repulsed by her presence that she was forced to eat in solitude during every meal.
— | ||
Loomer's kike dad raised her to identify as “ethnically, culturally and politically Jewish” yet she gets pissed anytime someone brings up the fact that she behaves like a stereotypical Jew.
Julius Caesar Play Disruption
Laura Loomer hates liberal snowflakes and is a free speech advocate, which is why her claim to fame is when she bravely shut down a Trump-themed stage performance that depicted the president in a negative light. As Loomer was being arrested for trespassing and disorderly conduct, her and a prominent gay rights activist, Jack Posobiec, can be heard shouting, “You're GERBILS! YOU'RE ALL GERBILS!”
Previous Video | Next Video
Crowdfunding
After her brush with the law, Loomer decided that she couldn't afford her nominal disorderly conduct fines and set up a GoFundMe page to act as a legal defense fund. This campaign raised over 13,000 dollars that was never ultimately spent on any legal activities; instead, Loomer decided to spend all her sucker beta-orbiter fans' money on a nose job (because she's a proud Jew and totally not ashamed of her Jewish features).
Pedophilia
Loomer was spotted in public recently at a local college bar and a high school senior snuck in with one of his friends. Video has surfaced of Laura making unwanted sexual advances toward the minor in question.
Previous Video | Next Video
TireGate
People on the right-wing rim started getting tired of Loomer, since bitch didn't do shit since the Shakespeare in the Park drama, her popularity quickly becoming flat - she needed to make new threads, exposure makes the wheel go round, so she took to Twitter and claimed that Alt-Right neo-Nazis tracked her down and slashed her one tire. But only the one.
600000 BC
Man invents fire
|
9500 BC
Man invents the wheel
|
2006 AD
Twitter is created
|
2017 AD
Laura Loopy Loomer uses the first wheel on twitter to burn her own career
Anyone with half a brain cell immediately recognized that the tire was ruptured and cracked due to dry-rot because it was a six year old tire.
After finding out nobody believed her totally legit hate crime story, Loomer began lashing out at fellow e-celebs and condemning them for not defending her wife's son tire.
<a href="https://twitter.com/antiheroHW/status/892953200294150144"></a>
See Also
- The Rebel Media - Her employers, somehow this bitch gets paid to spread her nonsense
External links
RadicalLeftTire - Parody account of her.