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| [[Image:ShoweR_florida.jpg|thumb|Florida is known for its rain.]]
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| [[Image:FloridaFun.JPG|thumb|left|[[truth|Contrary to myth, Florida is actually a major cultural center]].]]
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| [[Image:Alligatorservice.jpg|thumb|[[Lies|Wildlife are extremely friendly there.]]]]
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| [[Image:Floridodo.jpg|thumb|After breakfast, take a nap on the kitchen floor.]]
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| [[Image:Crazed1.jpg|thumb|Same shit, different day]]
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| <!--[[Image:Alien.jpg|thumb|Aliens LOVE Florida]]-->
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| [[Image:Florida-ba.gif|thumb|The [[final solution]]]]
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| <!--[[IMage:Rickkrueger.jpg|thumb|Next Governor of Florida Jew]]-->
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| Once upon a time God decided to create a place where old jews, Republican spics, and dirty [[rednecks]] could all live in relative harmony - so he made Florida, America's dick. Seriously, look at the shape of the state. It's in the shape of a flaccid penis. That should tell you enough. Of course God didn't expect anything of value to come from this colossal shithole, he just made it for the [[lulz]].
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| Right up there with [[China]], [[Nigeria]] and Eastern Europe, Florida's incorporation and fraud laws combine with a lack of cooperation with other states' investigations to create a safe haven for all sorts of predatory fucks with a front as legal businesses. Florida gains attention on the [[internets]] by being [[spam]] central. However, scamming in Florida has a long and sordid history that predates the Internet. Boca Raton once proudly proclaimed itself to be the telemarketing capital of the world with the joke that BR actually stood for Boiler Room. '''B'''ut it doesn't '''R'''eally matter, since everyone in Florida is '''B'''latantly '''R'''etarded.
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| It's not just spam, either. Huge numbers of pre-recorded telemarketing calls originate from Florida. Florida telemarketers can ignore the Federal TCPA that makes pre-recorded calls illegal, because the Florida AG protects, insulates, and accepts bribes from [[tele-marketers]].
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| Fake sweepstakes aimed at the elderly show up in your mailbox? Likely from Florida. A too-good-to-be-true vacation offer to DisneyWorld or the Caribbean? A Florida cut-and-run travel agency. When you watch late night TV, start counting how many infomercials for investments, work-at-home or other get-rich-quick schemes have you dealing with someone in Florida.
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| It is also sometimes referred to as ''The [[Pedophile]] State'' because of the massive number of pedophilia crimes occurring there. Jared loves coming down to pick up and [[Raeped|molest]] one of his minimum wage, below minimum age employees at least once every [[Last Thursday|thursday]] at any of his available chains next to Pubix. Other [[Retarded|visiting]] [[Attention Whore|celebrities]] like to partake in doing teh drugs off of underage girls' thirteen year old boy chests. (See [[Retard Girl|Justin Beiber]] or [[Pedo Scarface|Drake]]). Investigators suggest this is probably related to it being a [[penis]]-shaped peninsula. It could also be because it's just so damn EASY to [[Child Abduction|steal a child]] from a [[Disney]] theme park...
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| It is a proven [[fact]] that Florida is also the [[cosplay]] [[drama]] capital of the world, and has been for [[At least 100 years ago|at least 100 years]]. People such as [[Pikabellechu]] and [[Kelly Kalogerakos]] reside there. Cosplay is as ghey there as it's ever been anywhere else, but it's accepted more because old people don't what a [[Pokemon|pokey man]] is, aside from the nice guy that likes to take their grandchildren into the back of his van.
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| Clearwater, the home of the Church o' [[Scientology]], is located in Florida, only proving what dumb shits the [[retard|Floridites]] are for allowing them a foothold in the US.
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| Along with being shaped liek a [[retard|retard's]] [[faggot|dildo]] ([[PROTIP]]: It used to be shaped like an erect penis pointing toward Britfags, until all the [[old people]] moved down into it and made it hang limp), Florida is well known as Cape Dementia, the land of the dead, the cemetery without down payment, and a paradise for the retired dying waste that are [[babyfuck|baby]] [[goatse|boomers]]. The state is has [[over nine thousand]] seniors, which make it a fucking [[Snapesnogger|nightmare]] to drive anywhere, maneuver a cart through [[7-11|Walmart]] or even walk down the street. You can be sure if you live here that you will get to see many-a grey-haired fucker die. Meanwhile, in North Florida, the Administrative Wing, there are lots of trees and [[drugs]] to climb and smoke, and even though North Florida has a more hellishly hot climate than even [[Miami]], many choose to settle there to become state bureaucratic commandants and take care of everybody real good.
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| When terrorists chose to attack America, they headed straight for the Huffman Aviation flight school in Venice, Florida. The school is run by a superjew named Rudi Dekkers. Who else would [[retard|train them to fly without training them to land]]?
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| Although most [[fascism|American political thinkers]] agree on the necessity of eventually solving "The Florida Question," there remains disagreement on how best to go about it. While some advocate sealing the border, performing a tactical nuclear strike on the state's major urban centers, and then waiting for the inhabitants to [[death|die]] off over the course of time, groups like the [[furries|ASPCA]] have argued that Floridians may possess an [[Bayeux Tapestry|archaic]] form of self-awareness, thus raising [[abortion|ethical questions]] about such methods.
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| Fortunately, the Florida question will be solved by global warming, as all it will take is two more inches of rising ocean to drown this foul nest of old folk's homes and retard breeding forever.
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| Good news, [[pain|sick fucks]]: [[bestiality]] is not [[banned|illegal]] in Florida.
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| Florida is also home to [[drug|oxycontin]] where it was invented [[at least 100 years ago]] by [[Jews]] hoping they could destroy the pure white 11 toed Aryan population that resides only in the deep hill country of Appalachia. Fifty of the top Fifty doctors who prescribe the most oxycontin reside in the state of Florida, making Florida the premier source of hillbilly heroin. And with their city Lakeland,FL where most niggers reside and
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| smoke mad blunts and heroin every day, they wanna have sex with your mom and fuck you and make statements claiming that your gay because you don't have
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| fifty bucks to fuck you up. And since most niggers are sick fucks in florida, you niggers can suck dick.
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| It's also truly proven that it's sick fuck city, Lakeland is where most shit talkers reside and people who disagree with your statements, Lakeland is where most shit talkers reside in and most people get sexually harasses and fucked over. [[Anonymous|Judge us]] and we'll prove you're wrong, home to the most fucked up trolls and we'll shoot your ass and [[Retard|hope]] your mom. We do not forgive our hate against Florida, [[English#The_English_Language|We]] will never forget, [[Nigger#Communication|Nevar]] forget.
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| And if you're one of those [[Fag|emo kids]] who live in the state, you are evil, gay, smoke 50 blunts, have threesomes everyday, get your ass beat up, and you can all die in hell. Enjoy your fucked up life in the state and in the evil city. You sick fucks.
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| ==Weather==
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| Hot with a 100% chance of being [[Nigger|mugged]] in the summer. The average temperature in Florida in the summer is hotter than your mom having sex with Fidel Castro in a Cuban sandwich press.
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| Due to being the second hottest state, the men here are incredibly fucking smelly. Women in Florida like that though, due to being retarded fucking cunts who have mistaken what is truly "hot"
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| It's as cold as Ditchrot somehow in the winter.
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| Also it's humid as hell there too since the whole place is a bigger, wetter hole than your mother's pussy and the sun shines all the fucking time. Seriously, what normal people call "walking" is "swimming" in Florida. If you want to dry off, jump on a lake, unless you're afraid of man-eating crocodilians, murderous vipers, and infectious algae like the pussy you are.
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| ==People of Florida==
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| [[Image:mugshot.png|thumb|center|600px|[http://www.google.com.hk/search?q=florida+mugshots Native Floridians in their natural habitat]]]<br>
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| {|style="margin: auto;"
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| |<center><youtube>DvvgzQ-Itog</youtube></center>
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| |}
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| ==Economy==
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| [[Image:Florida-bucketoffail.jpg|thumb|[[Yes|Does Florida suck big dicks?]]]]
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| ===Exports===
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| *Crystal Meth
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| *Flight Trained Terrorist
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| *Broke tourist coming home from Disney World
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| *Retarded Politicians
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| *E. Coli Infected Produce
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| *Guatemalan Babies
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| *[[White trash]] [[faggots]]
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| *[[White trash|Trailor Park Princesses]]
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| *Young [[Mangina|manginas]]
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| *DIDNY WORL!
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| ===Imports===
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| *[[Drugs]]
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| *Old People
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| *Mexicans and Cubans
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| *[[Retards|Tourists]]
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| *[[Your mom|Your mom]]
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| *Chinks and Kikes
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| *Niggers
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| == Traditions of Florida ==
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| *[[Burn a Koran Day]]
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| ==Laws==
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| Floridians are very proud of their Florida Statutes.
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| ===Sunshine Laws===
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| Basically news journalists can demand arrest records and write whatever the fuck they want. [[Old Media]] exploits this fact by dramatically and incorrectly reporting on things that will trigger [[Conservatism|consericucks]] and [[Liberalism|libtards]]. They run lots of "Florida Man" articles, making the word Florida Man become synonymous with meth-addicted [[redneck]]s who do stupid shit and get arrested.
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| ===Stand Your Ground===
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| Known to the locals as a "Nigger Huntin' License," the Stand Your Ground law allows white people to get away with murder, as long as the "victim" is a [[Not_Black_people|nigger]]. Exceptions are made for some [[spics]] like George Zimmerman, the brave hero who shot down an unarmed black teen named [[Trayvon Martin]]. Zimmerman is a hero to many [[White_Nationalism|inbred redneck faggots who think demographic shifts are white genocide]]. Florida was the first state to write such a law, inspiring many other states in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts]] to do the same.
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| == Aliens hate Florida ==
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| <center><youtube>A8zsdIQe9UQ</youtube></center>
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| ==Notable Floridians and Related Articles==
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| [[Image:Nukeflorida.jpg|thumb|There's an idea.]]
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| [[File:Floridaman.png|thumb|right]]
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| *[[Alligator]]s
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| *[[Alec Difrawi]]
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| *[[Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto]] - Originally of [[Jew York|Staten Island, New York]], but recently moved to America's Wang in an attempt to flee from [[trolls]].
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| *[[Blueshinewolf]]
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| *[[Bob Allen]]
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| *[[Cocaine]]
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| *[[¡Jeb!|Jeb Bush]]
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| *[[Danny]]
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| *[[Donald Buffkin]]
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| *[[Doopie DoOver]] Trailor Park Princess and [[Internet poor|Notorious E-Begger]]
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| *[[DJ Skeptik]]
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| *[[Trayvon Martin|George Zimmerman]]
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| *[[Jack Thompson]]
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| *[[John Travolta]]
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| *[[JoshU2uber]]
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| *[[Kelly Kalogerakos]]
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| *[[Libertarian Fox]]
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| *[[Mark Foley]]
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| *[[Miami]]
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| *[[Niggers|Negroes]]
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| *[[Old people]]
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| *[[Pedobear]]
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| *[[Pulse Nightclub Massacre]] - Happened here.
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| *[[Redneck]]
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| *[[Ryulong]]
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| *[[Sora Del Corazon]] - Cuban Sonicfag that lives in Florida.
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| *[[Tablecow]]
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| *[[Violence|Shayla A. Muldrow]]
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| *[[The Mulberry Eight]]
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| *[[Trayvon Martin]] - Was pwned here in [[2012]].
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| *[[Satan]]
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| *[[Spics]]
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| *[[Terri Schiavo]]
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| *[[The Florida Tweenie Rapists]]
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| *[[University of Florida Taser incident]]
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| *[[Nicolas Cruz]]
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| == External links ==
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| *[http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/internetprivacy/2004-07-19-spam-central_x.htm USA Today: Florida delivers sunshine and spam.]
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| *[http://web.archive.org/web/20050213091710/http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/columnists/fred_grimm/5964205.htm?1c Bogus Boca.]
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| <br>
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| {{Unitedstates}}
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| [[Category:Locations]]
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| {{Timeline|Featured article July 16 & July 17, [[2013]]|[[Racism]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[s4s/|/s4s/]]}}
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