imported>Totensiediefurfag |
imported>Brianisgoingtogethurt |
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| [http://www.monsterranch.com Monster Ranch Online] is a conspiracy to glue all the [[No Life | morons]] of the Internet to something other than being stupid, run by an utter [[drama whore]] who goes by the name of Sharks12. Fine, it isn't really [[The Game|game]] so much as it is staring emptily at a screen clicking on a bunch of pixels while your soul is being eaten, and Sharks12 isn't really an admin but a [[Mangina|Dick Head]], but who cares?
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| ====The Average Monster Ranch User====
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| [[Image:Sadpedobear.jpg|left|thumb|A Monster Ranch player]]
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| Spotting a [[Zombie | Monster Ranch Player]] is incredibly n00b!
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| * Glassy, vacant eyes
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| * Dry skin and overall poor hygiene
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| * Incredible [[retard|intelligence levels]]
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| * Membership to [[Noobs|Compulsive Poster's Anonymous (CPA)]]
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| * Constant droning on and on about []] and/or [[Jailbait|Jailbait]]. If they claim to be older, they usually are [[loli|seven]].
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| * Very sad [[Pedobear]] shaking his head and crying nearby.
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| Elite Monster Ranch players have permanent [[PMS|dickhead personalities]]. Almost all of them have raging hardons for Sharks12 and gladly suck his [[e-penis]] whenever he whips it out in front of them (which is frequently). They are even [[fucktard|Smarter]] than the normal Monster Ranch users and love to flaunt it at every single opportunity. Time not spent sucking E-Penis is spent roleplaying out [[Furfag|Monster]] [[Mary Sue| Roleplay Characters]] notable for having zero physical descriptions and almost always the same personalities.
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| The moderators are useless [[assburgers|Aspies]] noted for their [[special]] [[maturity]] levels and [[cunt|being total cunts]]. The loudest of them are notable [[Otherkin]] and are even more protective of the Monster Ranch bullshit than normal as they don't know the difference between real monsters and shitty pixel art "monsters". Time not spent jerking it to [[furfag|Monster "art"]] is spent bashing newbies into the ground for asking [[WTF]] is up with the total lack of information on how to play this game. God forbid someone let slip one of Monster Ranch's [[Bullshit|Awesome Secrets]]!
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| ====Rules of Monster Ranch====
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| [[Image:Dragcave.png|right|thumb|What happens when you tell the Secrets]]
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| Monster Ranch operates under a strict code of silence. Anyone who so much as says a peep about the many secrets of the Ranch will be [[Voraphile|eaten by Sharks]]. Once any word is uttered about the many incredible secrets of Monster Ranch, the [[banhammer]] Comes down leading to [[lolicon|Loli Pancakes]] and lots of [[Baw]]wwwing.
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| The Admins are also apparently [[hugbox|pussys]] and possibly [[emo]]....
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| ''If you have an issue with the site admin, take it to PMs. If you post it in the forums, everyone will jump into the thread, causing '''lag''' and stress and bad feelings, eventually resulting in the site admin '''feeling so worthless because everyone is insulting them that they just pack up and leave.'''''
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| =Head mod Acoyph=
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| A [[unwarranted self importance| self-important]] [[loli|12 year-old girl]] who likes to think she is not only a moderator but [[Epic Fail|good at computers]].
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| Her main claim to fame is being even more [[paranoid]] and [[anal]] than every other user combined! She flits around the forum to spew her opinion everywhere and actually think it means something, when really what most of the kids is roll their eyes and skip her posts. Newbies think she's a mod. Sharks' asslickers think she's a god. The rest of us think she needs to [[STFU|Shut the fuck up]].
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| When not being a [[drama whore]], Acoyph is busily churning out nauseatingly-bad dragon "sprites". She likes to [[BAWW|whine]] when it looks like her sprites are not the favorites in a thread because she's so [[hugbox|special]].
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| =What Monster Ranch does not want you to know=
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| These are the highly guarded secrets of Monster Ranch. Posting these on the Ranch or any affiliated site will get you banned, flamed until black and cripsy by sub-teenage morons, and then eaten by Sharks. In the interest of free speech and saving time for anyone who might ever contemplate joining Monster Ranch, these dark secrets must be brought to light! Without these dearly-kept secrets there would be far fewer [[16-year-old girl|moron]]s glued to the screen and madly clicking and [[Pedobear]] would be much happier.
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| Think of the [[Pedobear]] - spread the secrets.
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| ====User Submitted Sprites====
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| On the 29th of March, Acoyph unveiled her [[Vagoo|wonderful]] idea: User submitted sprites. Following this, all other new works of Monster Ranch are [[Crap|user submitted]].
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| Much [[Baw|BAWWWWING]] arose from the Art Nazis as they realised that Acoyph had edited her post and stole their rights. Hail Acoyph, the [[Americunts|wonderful.]]
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| [[Retard|Others]] simply [[Baw|Bawwwed]] about their lack of brains to produce sprites.
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| http://forum.monsterranch.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=1451
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| ====Slogan Contest====
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| September 10th, Sharks reveals his [[Crap|latest brain storm]], a slogan contest.
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| Many [[Furfags|members]] decided to join the usual [[Retard|Elite MRO players]] in awaiting to see if [[Cuntboy|Sharks12]] would release new shitty pixel art to winners. Much to their dismay, it was not released into the shop for [[Furries|people]] to buy it. [[Baw|Bawwing]] occured once more as people could not purchase the [[Fail|latest]] [[Baw|Bawwing]] happened when their pixels got [[Raped|failed]]. Once Sharks fixed this though, the [[16-year-old_girls| players]] hailed his work and sucked his [[e-penis]] hard.
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| ====Logo Contest====
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| One week after his latest [[Fail|Picasso]], Sharks had the [[E-penis|brains]] to do it once more.
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| Much [[Baw|Bawwing]] occurred when 3 winners were to be reawarded, only 2 were received their prizes. Of course Sharks took the opportune moment to be a bureaucrat by whipping out his [[E-penis]].
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