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| [[Image:Dell.jpg|thumb|Dude, you're getting 3 to 5.]]
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| '''Dell''' is where you can buy a piece of [[shit]] computer for next to nothing, and then spend about 2,000 dollars upgrading it to make it marginally useful. After that, you have the privilege of spending a week trying to get rid of all the [[Last Measure|spyware]], adware, and useless programs that come bundled with it. And to make matters worse, if you remove all that shitware, dude, you've invalidated your warranty!
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| ==Tech Support==
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| Dell offers free tech support to any moron willing to purchase their computers. Most of Dell's tech support staff are curry-eating [[Indians]] whom are all speaking in a most very annoying accent sahib.
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| ==Dell & The International Jewish Conspiracy==
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| It is a known fact that Dell keeps its prices competitive by using the internal organs of the [[Chinese]] in its manufacturing process (see: Walmart business model). According to some [[Nazi]]s, this has upset the [[Jews]], who are pissed that they did not think of this first. However, these turdheads aren't aware that Dell himself is a kike, and much of the reason his company makes such a profit is that he's using Jewish business contacts to negotiate cheap deals on kosher parts. The biggest clue given as to just how much of a Jew Michael Dell is was demonstrated on February 15th, 2001, when he unnecessarily fired over 7000 of his employees just so he could donate 40 Million bucks to a Jewish charity. Not one single person "laid off" was Jewish. Still, it proves [[Hitler]] was right all along.
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| Dell bought the shitty 1up.com [[for the lulz]]. He also fired most of those schlubs for the same reason.
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| ==The "Dell Dude" Explained==
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| ''Dude, you're getting a Dell'' was a famous ad campaign featuring laid-back "cool kid" Benjamin Curtis. It spawned a number of boring [[catchphrase]]s ("Dude, you're going to hell", etc) and is most definitely an [[old meme]]. Alas, the pressures of celebrity overwhelmed Ben and he was was busted for buying [[weed]] in Union Square like a [[noob|fucking noob]]. He can currently be found [http://evilbeet.blogspot.com/2006/10/dude-youre-getting-quesadilla.html waiting tables] at a Tortilla stand. [[Srsly]].
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| ==Rise of the Machines==
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| [[image:ExplodingDell.jpg|thumb|right|A Dell attaining Paradise]]
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| Not content to merely serve as [[porn]] repositories and [[World of Warcraft]] terminals, brave Dell laptops began a campaign of [http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=32550 suicide bombing] against their oppressive human masters. Other Dells have flocked to the [[terrorist]] banner, and have successfully committed [http://consumerist.com/consumer/dell/dell-laptop-burned-down-my-house-235167.php arson] and [http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2006/08/dell_fire.html vehicular sabotage]. As usual, the only defense against this aggression is <s>racial profiling</s> not buying one.
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| ==Core Dell Features==
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| Features of a Dell rarely vary from one another. If you find a Dell that does not have the following features, recheck your brands.
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| Prime features of a Dell include:
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| *A 366-day working period.
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| *[[Shit|Cheap ass components]] that are guaranteed to [[Fail|fry]], overheat, and start massive wildfires.
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| *A low-end [[Intel]] processor that cannot overclock.
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| *Massive amounts of fail and [[anti-lulz]].
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| *[[Over 9000]] trial software applications, all of which will explode if you don’t activate them in less than 10 seconds and will make your new quad-core CPU run slower than a 486.
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| *Free technical support outsourced in Saturn that make [[Bix Nood]] sound intelligent. (You too can [[Fail|attempt]] at 1-800-WWW-DELL if you wish.)
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| == Famous Dell Reviews ==
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| <center>
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| {{morphquote | mqtest | background-color: white; height: 5em; | font-weight: bold;
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| |I bought my dell last weekend, sure is great for porn!|
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| |Wow so much porn on my Dell!|
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| |Dell is porn-tastic!|
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| |I hope my mom doesn't see my porn on my Dell|
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| |I hope my son doesn't know I know he has porn on his Dell!|
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| |I'm so surprised my Dell hasn't got so many viruses, what with all this porn on it?|
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| |I love how Dell has <s>no</s> [[Porn|sharp edges]].|
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| }}
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| </center>
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| == YouTube ==
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| <center>
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| {{fv|Dell|background-color: white; text-align: center; | font-weight: bold;
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| |<youtube>DIqkg4Qqyd4</youtube>
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| |<youtube>6lfBB3XhFFM</youtube>
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| }}
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| </center>
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| == Gallery ==
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| <center><gallery perrow=5>
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| File:Dell Mini PC.jpg|Mini PC for [[Faggot|cool]] people
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| File:Dell Tech Support.jpg|''Tank u fer caling Dell tek sport, how cans I hep you todai.''
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| File:Dell Hell Yeah Dude.jpg|Hell yeah, dude!
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| File:Dell Is Not Apple.jpg|Dell wishes it were [[Apple]].
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| File:Dell Apple Fanboy.jpg|Go fuck yourself! Nobody cares.
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| File:Dell screen.jpg
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| </gallery></center>
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| ==Dude, Links==
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| * [http://www.dell.com/ Dell.com]
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| * [https://web.archive.org/web/20100827030156/http://mainecampus.com/2002/10/31/dude-youre-fired/ Dude, you’re fired!]
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| *{{twitter|actorbencurtis|Ben Curtis}}, (Dell Steve) on Twitter
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| {{Softwarez}}
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| {{Business}}
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| [[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
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| [[Category:Memes]]
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| [[Category:Softwarez]]
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| [[Category:Hipster Shit]]
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