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| {{rainbow|LOLSUIT}}
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| [[Image:AlexFord.jpg|thumb|left|Alex with the [[fat girl angle shot]]. [[;)]]]]
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| [[File:Obesity-rate.jpg|thumb|Alex without the [[fat girl angle shot]].]]
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| {{quote|I love getting my ears nibbled on. My GF does that a lot and I love it.|Unh4ndled on having an [[imaginary girlfriend]].}}
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| '''Alex Ford''', also known as '''Chevex''' on the Interwebs, is a super-successful bachelor/entrepreneur who literally [[bel air|turned his sad life upside down]]. After finding the website [[so ronery|SuccessfulBachelor.com]] was available, he snapped it up, [[fatty|lost weight]], became [[rich and beautiful|fabulously wealthy and now enjoys life every day]]. Alex is living [[so cash|so large]] he only works four hours a week and spends the rest of his time playing [[online poker]] and [[Halo]]. Alex also owns the website U413.com, a powerful uber [[1337]] [[h4x0r]]ing community. Here he tries to worm money out of his members with quick money-making schemes.
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| Alex believes he is a [[asspie|1337]] [[fucktard|h4x0r]], although still [[fail|doesn't know how to use IRC]] and still uses [[MySpace]] and [[Twitter]] to chat to people. He has also no idea of the concept that [[don't feed the trolls|one should not feed the trolls]]. Alex is also a web designer, using Times New Roman as his font of choice. Secretly he forgot the HTML code for font styles. Due to his controlled efforts towards being a [[Basement dweller|totally skilled hacker]], Alex <s>still lives with his parents</s> recently purchased a beach house on a pristine [[Utah]] oceanfront with all the money he's made [[circle jerk|networking bachelors]].
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| Alex is most famous for declaring war on [[Lmte]] for his efforts at reverting the edits to his website's [[ED]] article, and after failing miserably went and contacted his [[Lawyer]] in an attempt to get his already publicly available personal information off the site. He then went on to [[Oh noes|sue ED]].
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| Oh, and he [[Irony|hates E-penis]].
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| {{clear}}
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| ==In His Own Words==
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| ''I am an [[CeLe|aspiring entrepreneur]]. All my life I have dreamed of [[mantrain|owning my own business]] and that day has [[orly|finally arrived]].''
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| '''''[http://www.linkedin.com/companies/referral-networx Referral NetworX]''' is my passion. I get excited at the thought of spending every day [[cancer|creating new content]], [[buttsecks|networking with our members]], and [[USI|speaking all over the world.]]''
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| ''I have been [[failing|chasing my success]] all my life and that journey has brought me [[ED|here]]. Now I want to help all of [[you]] do the [[fail|same thing]]. I [[orgasm|experience joy]] in my life when I see [[gay porn|that spark of motivation in yours]]. As a [[usi|life coach and business consultant]] I cherish every minute I get to spend [[failing|helping someone else]]. It is an experience that is unrivaled by anything I have ever [[failed|tried to do in the past]].''
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| <center>{{Morphquote|fuckyouallihateyou|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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| |[[EDsingers|at_w_at]] is going to get me a meeting with their admins to try and see if they'll take itdown and save me the legal fees. But if they are jerking me off then I'm going to [[lolsuit|let my lawyer start the paperwork]]. He told me it was a pretty cut and dry case so [[unrealistic expectations|either way it's coming down]].|Chevex, regarding his dox and the possibility of a [[lolsuit]] and/or [[arbchat]]
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| |I knew my success was meant to be when I searched out the domain name '''“SuccessfulBachelor.com”''' and it was available. I’ve decided to persue [[lol|a source of residual income and acheive that four-hour workweek]]. It’s something I’m passionate about and I want to be the free online resource for [[aspie|aspiring bachelors like myself]].|Alex on [[great success]]
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| |I have literally [[Fresh Prince of Bel Air|turned my sad life upside down]]. I [[fatty|lost weight]], became [[liar|wealthy]], and enjoy life every day. [[unrealistic expectations|I’m purchasing my first beach house soon]]. I’ve wanted a beach house all my life and now my dreams are coming to fruition.|Alex on [[aspirations]] and [[Utah]] beaches.
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| |[[faggot|I love twitter]]|Chevex, [http://twitter.com/Chevex/status/13796841320 sauce]
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| |[[1337|Had a porkchop for dinner and had nice apple sauce too.]]|Chevex, [http://twitter.com/Chevex/status/13292983467 apple sauce]
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| |I think Chevex is a [[pretty cool guy]]. eH feeds the trolls and doesn't afraid of [[lolsuits]].|[[Halo]]
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| |Son... [[I am disappoint]].|Alex's dad on finding out that Alex has ruined his business.
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| |[[n00b|What's Facebook]]?|Alex: still on MySpace, Jan 2010
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| }}</center>
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Alex on LUELinks==
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| [[Image:Unh4nd13d USI.png|thumb|center|1000px|Chevex, getting told to [[stfu]] as usual]]
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| {{quote|NO NUMBERS!!!|Chevex}}
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| Alex used to hang on another uber secret forum known as [[LUELinks]]. Alex got promptly banned after trying to bring everyone into his shitty schemes. Soon after, Alex rebuilt [[U413]] and added in features that he stole from LUELinks. Soon after, both sites became rivals with each other because Alex refused to [[shut the fuck up]] after being told time and time again to [[get the fuck out]]. There are never any wars between the two sites because they are both pretty much locked up.
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| LUELinks is responsible for Alex's E-penis phobia, since their forum has numbers and his does not. Except of course, for [[Pi]].
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| ==Alex's lolsuit==
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| {{main|U413}}
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| [[Image:U413sclosed.png|thumb|right|[[Pools Closed|U413's Closed]]]]
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| Alex found U413's ED article thanks to [[Google]] Alerts, since he has it set to notify him on his internet handle. He flipped when he saw it, creating a sticky on his forum asking for his members to come to ED and vandalize the article because his personal information was left there. His members immediately joined him and started defacing the page, soon resulting in the article being locked. In his epic fit of [[butthurt]], he went and told his members to flame [[Lmte]]'s talk page instead.
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| <center>{{Morphquote|everyonelovesed|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
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| |Looks like the war has begun between U413 and ED user lmte|Chevex, declaring war against [[Lmte]] for reverting his vandalism
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| |Now we should all go to lmte's user page and insult him...........many times and in many ways.|Chevex
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| |The lock expires May 19th. We'll just have to keep this up and rally everyone to rape it again on that day.|Chevex
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| |}}</center>
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| Soon after, Alex went batshit paranoid, realising he had a [[psyops|mole]] on his forum and his IRC. After realising vandalising your own ED article never works (especially when you use your Internet handle as your ED username), Alex was told by various people that he could have had an [[Arbchat]] to get his [[dox]] removed. Alex decided it wasn't worth the hassle, so he called his [[Lawyer]] to get it done for him. 10 years later we are still waiting for the court papers.
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| {{quote|I'll be polite until they moment they try to accuse me of ANYTHING|Chevex not knowing how court works.}}
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| After being laughed at by his lawyers, Alex soon backed down, deciding not to attack ED because it just wasn't "worth the hassle".
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| ==I DON'T CARE ABOUT ED!111==
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| Following his previous escapade of failing to sue ED, Alex stated he "didn't care about ED or /b/" yet continued lurking both of them like a [[newfag]]. He then started contributing to this article as well as the article on [[U413]], also trying to conceal his dox by saying he moved to an "undisclosed location" but also <s>using find and replace on his old username</s> [[fucktard|looking through every word in the article]] to change ''Unh4nd13d'' to ''Chevex'' when he could have just copied it all into [[Notepad]] and pressed Ctrl+H.
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| {{clear}}
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| ==[[Fatty]] Alex: Motivation Speaker==
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| The pic Alex likes to distribute is fully following the instructions of a [[fat girl angle shot]]. In these videos however, you can see how much of a [[fat]] fuck he really is.
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| ==Alex's Dad==
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| [[Disney|Walt]] Ford is the name of Alex's dad. Walt runs Fords Cleaning, some cleaning service dedicated to getting those [[cum]] stains off your windows. Alex's dad is the kind of [[failure]] who is generally new to the internets and is regularly ending up copying others and [[doing it wrong]] in the process. Below is his attempt at a [http://www.wherethehellismatt.com Where The Hell Is Matt] video:
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| <video type="viddler" id="e3ba8ac" width="425" height="350" position="center"/>
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| *www.fordscleaning.com/ - His dad's cleaning business ('''404s when link is followed from ED''')
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| *[http://www.linkedin.com/in/waltford Alex's dad's Linkedin]
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| *[http://twitter.com/WALTatRNX Dad's Twatter]
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| *[http://www.facebook.com/walt.ford Dad's Facebook]
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| *[http://pihost.us/~weev/c/eyeBeamRecording_100513_142936.wav A call to Alex's dad.]
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Contact Alex==
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| You could have called Alex on '''(801) 669-6663''' but he [[delete fucking everything|disabled his phone service]], so you should call him at work. The number is '''(801) 785-8188'''.
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| You can also visit him in person at '''Ford's Cleaning, 1780 w. Garden Dr., Pleasant Grove, Utah, USA'''. His postal code is '''84062''', by the way. Ask about cleaning the cum out of your [[dog curtains]] and mention [[4chan]] to receive a 25% discount.
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| '''Side note:''' Alex [[butthurt|seems to think]] that by simply waiting for some form of [[rape|illegal activity]] to come of this information, he can get his [[docs|personal info]] removed. Unfortunately for his sorry ass, [[fact|there is no way to prove]] that the information came from this website (or even that the [[ediot|people affiliated with this website]] have anything to do with it), considering there are many, many other websites and sources of his personal information. We should all welcome [[faggot|Mr. Ford]] to the Internets - where so many people have previously [[delete fucking everything|attempted the same impossible feat]].
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| ==External Links==
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| *www.U413.com ('''404s when link is followed from ED''')
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| *[http://www.myspace.com/213557305 U413's MySpace]
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| *www.chevtek.com/OurServices.aspx - Chevtek.com, Alex's "services". ('''404s when link is followed from ED''')
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| *www.referralnetworx.com/[email protected] - He's kind of a big deal ('''404s when link is followed from ED''') | |
| *[http://twitter.com/Chevex Chevex on Twitter] - Private
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| *[http://twitter.com/Unh4nd13d Moar Twitter]
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| *[http://twitter.com/U413 Even moar Twitter]
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| *[http://twitter.com/ReferralNetworX Lots of Twitter]
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| *[http://www.youtube.com/user/Unh4nd13d Chevex on YouTube] - Was closed to the public, not anymore
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| *<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChannelChevex His other YouTube account]</s> - Closed to the public
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| *[http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/krnx-the-relationship-marketing/id341311374 His podcast page]
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| *[http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2008/06/19/why-bigger-goals-less-competition-plus-eco-bounty-winners/#comment-22654 Alex Ford:SUCCESSFUL BACHELOR!]
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| *<s>[http://www.linkedin.com/in/chevtek Alex's Linkedin]</s> - Profile not found!
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| *[http://www.facebook.com/Chevex117 Alex on Facebook] - Completely privatized
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| '''Known Handles:'''
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| *unh4nd13d
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| *ChannelChevex
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| *[[Chav|Chev]]
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| *Chevy
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| *Chevex
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| *[[e-penis|3p3ni5]]h473r
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| *Chevex117
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| *[[Kimmo Alm]]
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| '''Alex's Pastimes:'''
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| *[[Halo]]
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| *[[Online Poker]]
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| *[[Jenkem]]
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| *[[Script kiddie|Skittles]]
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| *[[HTML]]
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| *Being a [[Lonely|bachelor]]
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| *[[Typing with one hand]]
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| ==See Also==
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| *[[Chris Beer]] - Infamous 4chan spammer
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| *[[U413]]
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| *[[CeLe]]
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| {{faggotry}}
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| {{dyingalone}}
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| <br>
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| [[Category:Faggotry]][[Category:Drama-generating techniques]][[Category:Internets Phenomena]][[Category:People|Ford, Alex]]
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