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| == [[tl;dr|Historical Background]] for [[Babby|Babbies]] ==
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| === Where it all began ===
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| <small>''AKA: The origin of [[USI|elitism]]''</small>
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| [[File:Mule1983.gif|250px|thumb|This is the shit young Übergamers had to play instead of [[Donkey Kong]]]]
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| In prehistoric times, [[Vidya]] was not one, but two:
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| * ''[[Mario|Video games]]'': Those painfully bright, screeching things designed for [[Autism|sugarated children]]. Originally played on [[Arcades|arcade machines]], but soon migrating into the living room of every middle-class family thanks to the conniving [[Azn|rice-kikes]] over at [[Nintendo]]. Defined by being [[Retarded|relatively simple]], [[Opioids|quick to pick up]], [[Battletoads|requiring twitchy movements]] and [[Sonic|brainwashing an entire generation into masturbating to cartoon animals]].
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| * ''[[Rogue|Computer games]]'': Video games' [[You|fat snotty cousin]] that lurks in the background of every family photo. Games designed to be played by boring sexless dads in between crunching [[Microsoft Office|spreadsheets]] and filing for [[bankruptcy]]. Defined by [[CAD|WORDS WORDS WORDS]], [[Dwarf Fortress|incomprehensible controls]], [[Linux|absurd difficulty to install/run]], [[Minecraft|poor graphics]], [[Boring|slow pacing]] and [[Tubgirl|general shittiness]].
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| The question of whether a kid got to play actual video games or had to settle for obtuse point-and-click snorefests came down to whether they managed to convince their parents to buy them a [[SNES|Nintendos]] for Christmas. Otherwise, the only option left to them is to [[Virus|pirate]] Ultima for the family [[Amiga|Amiga 500]]. This created endless [[BAWWWW|lingering resentment]] in the hearts of the little twerps as they were forced to sit out and watch their cooler classmates discuss the latest Mario, Zelda or Sanic during recess. To cope, the butthurt cumstains [[Tulpa|deluded]] themselves into thinking that shit is actually gold, and that the godawful games they were saddled with are AKSHUALLY superior by virtue of being more "[[Boring|complex]]" and "[[I have a 140 IQ|thoughtful]]". Thus the PC Master Race was born.
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| {{clear}}
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| === [[Piss|Golden]] Age ===
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| <small>''AKA: The origin of [[Graphics|GRAPHIX]]''</small>
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| [[File:Afinespecimen.png|frame|Heil the Master Race!]]
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| As the years went by and you no longer had to pay $9,000 for a processor capable of running Solitaire, it became possible to play actually halfway decent games on the same machine you use to watch [[pr0n]]. Computer games (now univerasally ''PC'' games because [[Microsoft]] sucked [[IBM]]'s dick and [[Apple]] is for [[fags]]) became more console-like, with reflex-based gameplay and graphics capable of more than 4 colors. The consoleless plebs jumped on the opportunity to play something actually fun for once, and [[Hypocrisy|quickly forgot all their petty gripes with the "childish" nature of non-PC games]]. To maintain the [[facade]] that their games are more mature than the alternatives, PC developers added [[DOOM|gore]], [[Duke Nukem 3D|tits]], [[Unreal Tournament|explosions]] and other things enjoyed primarily by [[13-year-old boy|13-year-old boys]] to their heaping piles of trash.
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| This is also around the same time consoles were shitting the bed after eating too much money during the 8- and 16-bit eras. The fifth generation of consoles included such gems as the [[Brick|cartridge]]-based [[Nintendo 64|N64]], the piss-weak [[Playstation]] and the pure crystalized [[FAIL]] which was the [[Sega Saturn]]. PC gaming went from a choice of last resort to [[A challenger appears|an actually competitive alternative]].
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| However, all that progress came at a cost. Literally. The introduction of 3D graphics meant you had to buy a dedicated video card for your yellowing plastic abomination, and the rapid advancement in [[Tomb Raider|ass-rendering technologies]] meant you had to switch out that video card every six months or so. Naturally, many companies [[Zerg Rush|rushed]] to flood the market with their [[Fermi|shitty overheating components]]. They made up various [[Marketing|fake reasons]] why ''their'' overpriced slapdash electronics are better than the competitors', inventing worthless [[1337|tech buzzwords]] like ''[[Magnets|triple-buffered DRAM]]'' and ''[[Rape|single-pass sub-frame penetration]]''. The question of how any of these help the [[Basement dweller|typical consumer]] run their favorite [[Counter-strike]] nude mods remained unaddressed.
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| The retards who actually bought into the consumerist frenzi quickly found themselves unable to justify their purchase and once again fell back on self-delusion. They convinced themselves that [[Lie|they can see extremely minute pixel-sized differences between pictures]] and that [[Retard|these are what makes or breaks a game]]. Gameplay, music, sound or story don't matter, apparently.
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| {{clear}}
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| === Death rattle ===
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| <small>''AKA: The origin of [[butthurt]]''</small>
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| [[File:Pc petitions.png|250px|thumb]]
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| The [[PlayStation 2|sixth generation of consoles]] put an end to the PC fatsos' celebrations. Most consumers still wanted a [[Wii|simple machine for gayming]], not an oversized plastic monstrosity that devours money and shits out [[BSOD|BSOD errors]]. Game publishers took one look at the shrinking, obese and [[pirate]]-infested PC market and rightfully decided to take their business elsewhere. Most worthwhile games did not receive a PC release whatsoever, and the ones that did only got begrudging poorly-optimized ports made by [[India|illiterate southasian monkeys]].
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| PC gamers responded like any responsible adult would: [[BAWWW|By throwing massive temper tantrums]] and [[Crybaby|endlessly bitching about it online]]. Absolutely convinced that the $4,000 they spent on a computer that can run [[Crysis]] gave them the right to boss game developers around, they loudly and pathetically [[LOL|DEMANDED]] that publishers do a complete [[Xbox|360°]] on their decisions and [[Unrealistic expectations|actively burn money by developing for the increasingly irrelevant PC]]. The [[cognitive dissonance]] between the supposed "superiority" of their platform and the fact it has [[No Gaems|no gaems]] absolutely broke the PCtards' minds, resulting in much [[lulz]] for [[Trolls|outside observers]]. This culminated in the most pathetic display of all: [[Petition|Online petitions]] <u>begging</u> developers for new PC ports.
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| To the surprise of no one, [[Typical|these strategies failed to work]]. By 2010 the PC was a dying platform, only clung to by those too stupid or invested to move to [[Sex|something better]]. Although the massive amounts of cash the [[Atheist|fedora-equipped virgins]] sank into their gear [[Some argue|arguably]] made it more powerful than consoles, the simple fact is that [[Fact|a gaming platform without any games is a worthless dust-collector]].
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| {{clear}}
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| === Steam revival ===
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| <small>''AKA: The origin of [[Gaben]]'s massive gut''</small>
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| If the PC was shit, consoles' [[AIDS]] was even worse. The rapid spread of [[Judaism]] through the ranks of game company executives meant that console manufacturers [[Wii U|flushed every advantage they had down the drain]]. Starting with the [[PS3|seventh generation]], consoles have turned increasingly obtuse and unusable. The elimination of [[Friends|couch co-op]], introduction of [[Apple|mandatory updates]], [[DLC|DLCs]], [[Slowpoke|slowness]], [[Fat|bloat]] and general [[fail]] meant that consoles were ironically turning more PC-like.
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| Meanwhile, the PC was becoming even more console-like, largely thanks to [[Gabe Newell|a single obese Jew]] from [[Valve|Seattle]] and his games-for-rent scheme ''[[Steam]]''. [[Veteran|Older generations]] of PC gamers saw Steam for the blatant money-stealing [[DRM|DRM scam]] it was. Newfags, however, were now [[too lazy]] to even leave their mom's house to buy their digital crack. These diabetic inbreds greatly appreciated the ability to purchase [[Braid|indie shovelware]] from the comfort of their air-conditioned basements, and so Steam became the fastest growing [[cancer]] on the [[interwebz]].
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| The rise of Steam meant you no longer had to [[delete System32]] every time you wanted to install a game. It also meant [[Valve]] now got to install golden chandeliers in the money-coated ballrooms of their [[Cocaine|coke palaces]]. PC gamers may be comparatively few in number, but they make up for it by being able to max out their (parents') credit cards, and Gaben's lazy ass [[Jew gold|receives 30% of every purchase made on Steam]]. Other publishers took notice of Valve's collection of golden dildos and sex-trafficked prepubescent girls and wanted in on the action. Every ostensibly notable company rushed to release their own bug-infested DRM bloatware, including:
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| * Epic Games Store: What if Steam, but [[Linux|unusable]]?
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| * EA <s>Download Manager</s> Origin: What if Steam, but [[spyware]]?
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| * Microsoft's <s>Games For Windows Live</s> Windows Store: What if Steam, but [[No Gaems|nogaems]]?
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| * Blizzard's Battle.net: What if Steam, but [[8chan|hilariously unsecure]]?
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| * Rockstar Games Launcher: What if Steam, but only [[GTA]]?
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| * Ubisoft's <s>Uplay</s> Connect: What if Steam, but [[EA#SimShitty|always-online]]?
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| * GOG's Galaxy: What if Steam, but [[Nostalgia|back to 1989]]?
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| PCtards' demonstration that they have more money than brains also meant that [[A winner is you|developers began making games for the PC again]]. Despite this, the Master Race never stopped bitching. A decade of being ignored by the faceless corporations they looked up to as surrogate parents produced an unmatchable [[Victim complex|victim mentality]] that persists to this day. Even after getting everything they've ever wanted, PC gamers remain [[Chris-chan|the most entitled and pathetic cunts on the planet]]. Naturally, online petitions for more PC releases continue circulating the web [https://www.change.org/p/sucker-punch-please-make-a-pc-port-for-ghost-of-tsushima at] [https://www.change.org/p/warner-bros-mortal-kombat-deadly-alliance-deception-armageddon-port-to-pc?source_location=topic_page an] [https://www.change.org/p/from-software-release-bloodborne-for-the-personalized-computing-platform alarming] [https://www.change.org/p/atlus-please-consider-releasing-persona-5-for-pc frequency].
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