Fluffer

What is a fluffer?

Everyone has seen the rock-hard cocks of the guys in porn flicks, but many are unaware of how they get there. A Fluffer is a chick (or a dude, if the guy putts from the rough) that works to get the guy hard off-camera, so he can pork the star on-camera. Fluffers are necessary because coke can only do so much.

What do I have to do to become a fluffer?

Show up on a porn set. You will be given a trailer hitch. You must remove the chrome within 60 seconds. Long hair that can be used as a handle is a plus.

A great body is not necessary, since the dude will only be loolking at the top of your head. A flat head in a plus, so the actor can have a place to put his beer.

What do I need?

A mouth.
No braces.
A willingness to be in one of the lowest paid positions on a porn set, just one step above the guy who mops up.
A set of quality kneepads, optional.

This is fucked up. What kind of women do this, anyway?

• Chicks who enjoy being used as sex toy
  
• Chicks who can't fake orgasms as well as the actresses
  
• Chicks who have no redeeming features, aside from their mouth.
  
• Chicks too shy to suck dick on camera, but still need the money.
• Your mom
  
• Your sister
  
• You

This article is a crappy stub. You can help by completely re-writing it. Be sure to make it longer, girthier, and more pleasurable.