Teledildonics

A prototype of a teledildonics reciever. Will the dream of force-feedback cybersex ever be realized?

An idea proposed at least 100 years ago but never fully realized, teledildonics would be the ultimate cross between cybersex and IRL. A signal sent through the Internets and interpreted by a dildo or sexual device of the users choice would provide the supreme sexual experience for World of Warcraft players and 13-year-old boys.

Possible Applications

Mark Zuckerberg stated in a press release that the "poke" feature of Facebook is eventually meant to integrate with teledildonics hardware. This will all integrate with Facebook News Feed to organize massive e-orgies.

MySpace plans to offer a way for stalkers and pedophiles to teledildonically interact with 16-year-old girls without their consent. They will then tell Congress there is no way for them to block this interaction. A haxxor will write a 1,000-line BASIC script that will do so, proving once again that Tom is incompetent. The feature will seldom work, anyhow.

Cumming Technologies

• Swedish company Fucknertron has an innovative invention. Unlike the US, which is full of fatties, Swedish women are mostly infucking credibly hot. As a result, Whalers are deprived of big heifers. Fucknertron's Synthetic Blubber technology accurately reproduces the soft, yielding feel, crushing weight, and smothering sensation of real fat bitch! USB controls blubber jiggle rate. Comes in female and faggot versions. Available in your momma's closet now.
• The Ultimate Bukkake Doll from the Japanese conglomerate Togusawa-Mudkipz comes with replaceable, realistic skin with a hidden bonus. Jizz that contacts its surface is instantly polymerized and preserved forever! Since the skin is replaceable (the bare skull is great for skullfucking), an optional addon puts blood under the skin so you can cut that bitch again and again! You can also display your slashed up cum (and possibly other) covered face, perfect for hanging on the wall. USB controls suction. Comes in female and faggot versions. Available when hell freezes over.

Links

• Teledildonics Wikipedia Article (Smelly faggot bullshit)
• Gizmodo Teledildonics Page
• Open Teledildonics Wiki Apparently was mentioned in Wired, but looks like crap to me.
• Lego Vibrator "Mommy, can you help me build this?"

Teledildonics is part of a series on Sex Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.