Nigger

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For alternative term see Nigra

Nigger is a term of endearment for the half-ape, sub-human creatures devolved from chimpanzees who eat fried chicken, watermelons and collard greens, write songs about raping white women and stealing welfare checks from invalid grandmothers so they can pretend they bought those plastic spinning hubcaps they stole from other niggers to pimp out their stolen 1974 Cadillacs. Break dancing was invented by niggers stealing hubcaps from moving cars. Niggers are lazy, dumb, and most of all, they smell even after taking a shower. They pretend to act civilized, but quickly give up the ghost when offended and resort to their monkey instincts by getting drunk on Colt 45, Olde English, or any other cheap ass Malt Liquor, smoke menthol cigarettes, weed and crack cocaine, followed by raping white women and throwing their own feces as their tree-dwelling monkey predecessors. Nigger women, when challenged, will take off their earrings, shoes and bling as their brains are not big enough to know this has no fucking effect whatsoever. Niggers speak an abomination of a language they call ebonics - which is nothing more than gibberish filtered through thick, rubbery lips. Because of the prevelance of violence in black society, 9 out of 10 blacks will be gunned down before the age of three.

Charateristics

A Nigger is the long sought after "missing link" between man and ape. They are characterized by their oversized lips, tight-curled hair, and their love for fried chikins, watermelons, purple drank, large asses, jailhouses, and dat wyte pussay. The female version of this species of sub-human is the Nigra, or "She-Nigger". They are known mostly for their completely, impossibly oversized asses, their completely fucktarded names (Bix Nood, Tamqueesha, Mo'neeque, Mercades, LaFawnduh, etc), and their 6 inch long fake nails. Additionally, all Niggers are well known for being EXTREMELY FUCKING LOUD and constantly TyPiNq l1K33 d1$$ cUz ItZ g@nG$t@ Niqq@!!1

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History

Niggers were invented by our very drunk God after having lost badly at a poker night with Buddah, Satan, and whatever deviant gods the towel-headed Arabs claim to worship in between camel buggering. The first niggers were created from turds taken from dingy, smelly peat bogs located around Dundee, Scotland, to be used as slaves to make white people's lives easier and find a market for the watermelon, a vegetable posing as a fruit that normal white people would never eat. It is also believed that a big piece of shit, shoved up an orangutans pussy before being fucked by a skunk, evolved into the nigger and subsequently the brown color of the species because of the genetic structure of the piece of shit combined with the skunk cum in the orangutan pussy. Soon, the niggers discovered ancient texts that taught them to use the dark side of the force. It corrupted them, giving them unspeakable power as well as their characteristic dark color and smell. The white man recognized this threat and waged war on the niggers for over 9000 years. Utilizing its superior numbers, the white man defeated nigger-kind and stripped it of its power. After three hundred years of deserved servitude, most niggers were freed by a coalition/conspiracy butthurt liberals (Abraham Lincoln) and accidentally freed niggers (Martin Luther King) who took advantage of the Confederate States of America and the failure of ten million inbreds to keep five million niggers dumb and happy picking cotton and eating watermelon. Or it may have been space aliens impersonating both, for all we know. Sometime in the late 20th century, the niggers renamed themselves as niggas, in a vain attempt to shed their truly shitty history. It didn't work, as shown by the saying "you can take the nigger out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the nigger." Niggers nowadays use their newfound freedom for constructive purposes such as robbing liquor stores, shooting each other with Tec-9's, raping white women, and wearing clothes that are about ten sizes too big..

The 4 Stages of the Nigger

There are 4 known stages of the Nigger.

• The Nig: The Nig is essentially an average, well to do, productive member of society who was just unfortunate enough to have been born this way. (Note: This is the rarest form and only half-nigger, half-humans are known to be a part of this stage)
• The Negro: The Negro is known for having all the basic traits of the nigger species, the love for fried chicken(most commonly Church's chicken), the love for purple drank (it i unclear just what Purple Drank is, be it grape kool-aid, grape soda, grape juice, who knows?), etc, etc. They commonly wear clothing that is either 10 sizes too big with a lot of brand names covered with gold, glitter-esque crap, or neon colored skinny jeans, converse sneakers, and flannel shirts that fit so god damn tight its disgusting. They also wear custom baseball caps with flattened brims and the tags still on, cuz dey gotz dat sw@qq.
• The Double Nigger: The Double Nigger makes up about 85% of crime in the Jewnited Gaytes of Amerikkkunts, as well as 99% of all gangs. (The other 1% being gangs created by inbred tweeker rednecks from some podunk ass state down south, also known as General Lee's anus) They're known for making JewTube videos in which they flash their 10 dollar bills while wearing their respective gang's "Cullaz", smoke blunts, and show off their Cerebral Palsy or some shit. The Double Nigger has been immortalized in Rockstar Game's Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
• The Niggest: The Niggest are the indigenous niggers of Africa, a country known for its AIDS and ass-backwards society. They are so god damn black, that the only way that one could possibly see them after dark would be if they showed their teeth. This is the main cause of the spread of AIDS in Africa, as it is in the nigger's (especially the Double Nigger and Niggest's) primal nature to rape anything that moves.

The term and its meanings

The word "negro" was originally the second letter in the Greek alphabet (then called the "alphaneg" due to its first two letters). This fell into disfavor when Greek scientists realized it should more accurately be the last letter. The letter "negro" was slowly phased out of the alphaneg and the rest of the alphabet shifted over to take its place.

"Nigger" was originally a positive friendly term at least 100 years ago (read Mark Twain books and E.S. Nigger Brown Stand). Then it changed to have an archaic definition as a pejorative. This old usage was mostly localized to North America as an insult to people with dark skin. This archaic usage is still used by American blacks who haven't gotten over their victim complex and by American whites (often college professors) with the baggage of liberal guilt. With the spelling altered to "Nigga" due to ebonics linguistic requirements, it is now considered friendly term among blacks, and a verbal request to be murdered if said by whitey and/or wetbacks.

"Nigger" can refer to any black person, but it is more commonly used to reference a piece of shit black person who spends all his/her time standing on the street corner drinking malt liquor, smoking crack, and figuring out how to kill you and take your stuff. (The more specific term "Thug" or "Gangsta" refers to a negroid who feels the need to act like a hard-ass all the time for no apparent reason.) Such "street niggers" are the bane of all civilized people, and especially of black people who have made something of themselves (civilized black people are actually OK).

Using this word is popular amongst white, upper-middle class youths hopelessly addicted to Myspace, many of whom have never seen or interacted with a black youth outside of a Taco Bell, Jack In The Box or Kentucky Fried Chicken drive-thru.

=Alternative terms

Many niggers are offended by some of the terms referring to their race (but not if they are used by a nigger). If you choose from this list, you might find one that the niggers you're talking about doesn't mind hearing: African-American, afro-American, ape, Aunt Jemima, black, blackfella, blood, bluegum, boy, breed, bro, brother, buckwheat, chimpanzee, colored person, community member, coon, cotton picker, crackhead, darky, Democrat, double nigger dropout, dude, dusky, gangbanger, ghetto rat, golliwog, gorilla-in-the-mist, 'groid, han'kerchief head, high yaller, ho, homeboy, homie, Homo Africanus, inner city resident, inmate, jig, jigaboo, jive talker, jungle bunny, kurojin, mallate, mammy, melanin addict, minority, Miss Ann, moolie, Moor, mud person, muthafuckah, my man, nappy head, negro, nigga, nig, niggah, nigger, nig-nog, nigra, noir, n-word, parole violator, perp, person of color, porch monkey, Rasta man,black cunt, soul negroid, fuckin' niggas Rastus, 'roid, Sambo, schwartze, schvoogie, sharecropper, shine, shooter, sister, slave, Son/Daughter of Ham, Soul Brother/Soul Sister, spade, sparkling wiggle, spearchucker, spook, stupid son of a bitch, suspect, token, Uncle Remus, Uncle Tom, unwed mother, urban, watermelon eater, welfare recipient, wog, woolly boo, Zulu.

Nigger Language

Most black people were too derro to learn proper english so they are practically impossible to understand. example "hello my name is jamie" converts to "YO YO YO wazzup bitches and bitchets me names jamie c, respectaz or ill pop a cap in yo' white ass foo'!" Typical nigger's burns consist of putting random words together. Examples include "yo ol' burnt skittle lookin azz" or "poptart frostin' bald head." After the niggers burn on each other every other nigger laughs as loud as possible for 20 minutes with their hands in front of their mouths in an idiotic way and then start shooting each other over drugs.

Niggers in the wild

The first place you can go to find Niggers interacting with nature is either Africa or Ireland. However, since both of those parts of the world are complete and total shitholes, you'd probably be safer sticking to the North American continent for your Nigger watching and field work.

The indigenous sub-species of Niggers, Homo Nigereus Americanus (subsp. Muthafuckah), can be found by staking out and observing the areas around any KFC or Popeye's fried chicken stands, any burning trash can, outside the doorway of any welfare office, on the porch of any apartment or tenement building, or seen running from any mugging and/or rape victim.

Habitats

• Da ghetto!
• Mostly LA and Jew York
• Jail
• Africawk

Hobbies

• Raping white wimminz
• Stealing from whitey
• Whining about The Man keeping them down
• Collecting welfare checks
• Eating KFC
• Being a useless waste of space in general
• Taking loads of crack
• Ripping dumb whitey with 419 scams

Breeding Habits

As part of the efforts to keep the nigger population under control, as well as reducing the need to import watermelons from foreign sources, niggers are now required by Federal Law to breed only in Atlanta during Spring Break. Not that they pay any attention to this law any more than they do any other law.

During the official nigger mating season, the nigger performs a fantastic mating ritual to locate a victim. First, said nigger smokes a shit load of weed. Then, the nigger hides in a mud puddle - years of evolution allow the nigger to simply blend in. After spotting the perfect white woman (niggers never mate with their own kind, since all niggers secretly wish they weren't niggers), they jump out of the puddle and beat the innocent woman to the ground. After letting the woman beg to let her keep her virginity, the nigger proceeds to pound her in every possible opening, after which the nigger kills its forced mate for fear of its natural enemy, child support.

Niggers fornicate heavily, similar to bonobos. The only nigger no other nigger will ever fuck is Dave Adams. Therefore he cannot continue the bloodline. Which is no biggie. He is 900 years old and made of radiation. His height is unknown, for the only people who know him only have seen him on MSN display pictures, which were closeups. Also, he is immortal. [email protected]

In spite of the U.S. breeding restrictions, many American Niggers find ways to reproduce offshore. Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward is an example of a successful Nigger/humanoid hybrid...his daddy a nigger serviceman, his momma a Korean woman (a nigger will fuck anything that moves, even if it's a respectable citizen of an ally of the government they serve). Hines, instead of building TV sets in Seoul for two dollars a fucking week, is the highest paid member of the most famous team in the NFL(Nigger Felony League). He can catch and hit hard like a nigger, but he runs elusively like a skittering little Chink. The combination is deadly for opposing defenses.

Confronting a Nigger

When confronting a nigger in everyday society while unarmed, it is best that you contact your nearest Skinhead or law enforcement official. If you are armed, it is best you shoot them on sight and immediately proceed to curbstomp the the fuck out of them as a safety precaution. (see Edward Norton for tips on how to best handle a nigger) If unarmed, your only hope is to scream "OH LAWDZ IS DAT SUM CHIKUN?!" and use the distraction to avoid raep. Interacting with a nigger is highly discouraged as it is more than likely you will be immediately raep'd, robbed and transferred HIV/AIDS.

Surviving a nigger attack

First of all, if they are trying to invade your pool, give up now. You're fucked. So is the pool.

That being said, A nigger will attack a man if they are startled, need money, or if direct eye contact is made. The best way to avoid danger is to avoid the nigger or by playing fetch with them using fried chickens.

As you walk or travel through nigger territory, and if you can not see more then 50 to 100 feet in front of you, call out every few minutes until you enter a clear area. Some people call out, others sing, some wear nigger-bells. The point being is to make a lot of noise. In most cases the nigger will run away in a state of confusion.

If you see a nigger, talk to the nigger; study and utilize the standard Nigger Apology. If this is ineffective and he begins speaking in retarded, low-pitched ebonics, talk to him in soothing tones about things he is familiar with, such as muh dick, rap music and bling. Don't talk too soothingly, or he may thing you are trying to be all gay on him. Niggers are known for being very sensitive about their supposed "manhood". Make sure he sees you. Hold you arms high above your head. this will make you look like a much bigger to him. Continue to talk and slowly back away. If you run he will chase you. Niggers can run and jump extremely fast.

If the nigger lunges at you, jump into water (niggers are horrible swimmers). If you are in an area without water (such as the ghetto or the desert plains of Africa) run in a zigzag motion towards a police station or the white part of town. This will surely confuse him.

Whatever you do, DON'T climb a tree. Niggers have had plenty of practice at this sort of thing, as their tree-climbing instincts were honed to a razor edge deep in the jungles of Africa.

Another popular defense against niggers is to carry nigger spray. This has soap and water in it which niggers hate. If you spray the nigger he may change his mind or break off an attack; although he may become infuriated and enter a furious black rage.

Stay away from niggers. Many tourists think they look cute and like to get close enough to take a picture. Do not be stupid! Also remember that a niggress with baby niggers is very protective and dangerous and may attack even though you think you are a safe distance away.

Do NOT feed a nigger your change, no matter how much it begs. This will only attract even more niggers. Many AIDS outbreaks have spread into otherwise clean areas just from niggers being attracted to the sound of loose change. Do your part to keep the epidemic down.