Chickie

"I AM a hot, smart CCR chick! I don't care what you say you liberal POS!"

Chickie (or Chunkie), also known as Happy, Georgie Bush, Sandy, Boohoo, Angelbaby, Kelly, Maisha, CherylSeagull, Angela and God knows how many other aliases is a very eccentric basement dweller (supposedly from the Chicago area) who spends all day posting outlandish claims to beauty, wealth, and success on internet forums as a result of being a butt ugly bulldyke, having absolutely no life, needing medication that she's unable to afford at her dead end mortgage company job, and feeling insecure as hell about it.

Due to the entirely mentally deranged nature of her posts, Chickie is quite possibly autistic, narccissistic, schizophrenic, obsessive-compulsive, bipolar, transsexual, a sexually-represed pedophile/necrophile/zoophile/coprophile/homophile or even a combination of all of the above.

Whether or not this individual is really a female remains a mystery to this day - though seeing as he/she/it loves to brag about being hotter than Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards, and uploads pics of hot celebs claiming they're her own - it's safest to assume he's a guy so Chickie will be referred to as a male for the rest of this article (if for no other reason, just to piss him off). He's currently Liberal Forum's most active troll, Liberal Forum being the only site on the internet unmoderated enough for him to get away with being banned for his douchbaggery for this long.

Liberal Forum accounts

Though not all of his LF accounts (other than Happy/Georgie Bush) have been IP confirmed by mods (likely because he logs in as one account at work, another at home, another by a proxy, etc), the posting style is so similar across all of the accounts that there's no doubt in any of the members' minds that they're socks. Here's just one hilarious example:

• 
  Chickie claims that he's letting a friend post through his account
• 
  A few days later Happy does the same thing (using normal English)
• 
  Georgie Bush spams the forum with false quotes about Happy's account being hacked
• 
  More of the same by Georgie
• 
  A couple days later, Chickie starts spamming with false quotes about her account being hacked
• 
  It's obvious

Chickie

Chickie originally uploaded this pic as his avatar and told the forum he was the chick in the poster (no really). Virgin for life anyone?

An avatar of Christie Brinkley that chickie said was his own pic.

This is Chickie's main LF account and he currently averages 42 per day with over 31,000 total posts (and that's excluding his sockpuppets). Basically, Chunkie claims to be a 43 year old white, wealthy blonde woman from Chicago, who looks like a 21-year old Pamela Anderson without fake tits, owns her own multimillion dollar business, is a professional singer, has "drawers full of doctorates", has a fancy vacation home in California, has an IQ of 160, is a devout conservative Christian Republican, and is still a virgin not because "she" is unfuckable, but because she just "wants to be like Jesus". His typical modus operandi is as follows:

• Claiming that Obama is a Muslim.
• Claiming that Dubya is the greatest president ever.
• Pretending to be a conservative Christian yet making baby Jesus cry.
• Pretending not to be poor, ugly and a basement dweller.
• Changing the hot female celeb pic in his avatar to a different hot female celeb pic, then claiming he looks like the next one instead of the previous one.
• Talking to his sockpuppets.
• Talking to other members about having gone out to fancy dinners on yachts with his sockpuppets.
• Complain about how fat people are discriminated against. This might be telling.

• Reciting typical Ann Coulter-style talking points, ex. "Let's nuke Mecca", "Obama is a terrorist", "Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck are awesome", "Abortion is murder, but killing babies in the name of God is okay because the Bible says so", "The Bible is true because The Bible says so", "I so want to get in Rush Limbaugh's pants", and talking lots shit about niggers, spics, faggots, liberals, commies, feminazis, etc.

• Making posts along the lines of "My @ss is perfect. It looks like this" and then posting pics of some hot liberal celeb with a big ass (Jessica Simpson for example), or in more pathetic cases, screenshots of Laura Croft's ass from the Tomb Raider video game series). (When he first joined the site, he claimed outright that a picture of Christie Brinkley was his own, but changed his story within 5 minutes after someone did a quick google search. Not only is this faggot a liar, but he's not even a smart liar).

We could devote several paragraphs to elaborating on his loserdom, but instead we'll just provide a few quotes by this virgin and let them speak for themselves. The first one really says it all. Feel free to use this search page to find more if you want for greater lulz. Here's some links BTW: 1, 2 3

“	I look just like my avatar. I have nothing to prove.	„
—chickie

“	I. AM. HOT/smart/everything I ever said I was. End of story.	„
—chickie

“	I have never flaunted my body (don't have to), but now that you mention it, I do look like this. Only all real. :)	„
—chickie

“	Wrong again, bald @sscheese. I am still the same hot chick I was when I got here. Nothing you or your freak friends say can change that. You guys HATE smart, hot CCR chicks. You like your women ugly, fat, and stupid... And why is everyone so concerned about my avatar? More chickie obsession?	„
—chickie

“	You're gone for a while and it's SO nice not to have to deal with your bs. Your stupid little 99% inaccurate ED, your dumb@ss pictures of "me and candy", your obsession with fellow f@gs and pedophelia. You know damn well we're chicks. You saw all our stuff at CV. You saw pictures of us at the beach in bathing suits. I know exactly what a virus is and I know you are a danger to this and every forum you pollute.	„
—chickie

Happy

What chickie does for fun when his internet connection is down.

Happy is another alias Chickie uses on occasion. Happy posts using an obviously fake Indian accent (though oddly claims to have never lived outside the US). He pretends to be a highly regarded Chicago brain surgeon and BFF of chickie. He also shows an obsession with Bollywood hottie Aishwarya Rai (whose pic he uses as his avatar, and originally said was his real pic) and makes a habit of posting bizarre images from backwater fetish sites whenever possible (including a pic of a redneck in bondage gear with his dick up his truck's tailpipe. Literally.)

Happy stopped posting for awhile and returned as Georgie Bush shortly after an impostor account imitating his screenname arrived on the forum, at which point he went crazy and started spamming the entire forum - using regular English, claiming a friend of Happy's named "Angela" was borrowing his account to help deal with the impostor while Happy was at work (chickie also pulled the same shit a few days prior). LOL

After the imposter incident. Happy went on hiatus for several months, but has since been active again (oddly, never posting at the same time chickie is online).

“	For I make the consultation to the man for the brain operation after hims surgery not go so very well with first surgeon and now him doing much better and some day I tell who he is if he give the permission. For then you make the missing to me yes?	„
—Happy

Georgie Bush

Looks like Chickie may have uploaded his real pic by accident. Lol.

Georgie Bush is another chicke/happy alias and disappeared after being discovered by mods as an IP confirmed sockpuppet of Happy - at which point chickie (who pretended not to know Georgie until now) insisted that their IPs matched because Happy and Georgie were coworkers at Happy's hospital (though the IP was traced to a computer library in a mortgage company building, likely the place this loser works at).

Georgie first arrived shortly after Happy was chased off by the impostor account and Georgie proceeded to spam the entire forum with edited quotes by other members that they had hacked Happy's account in order to make Happy look crazy (as if he needed any help). After keeping this up for awhile he went back to normal posting, except that every one of his posts was written as (very bad) poetry.

“	dow down to 7997 time now 2 pray 2 heaven obama gonna ruin this place gonna destroy human race dow don't like obama or his plan dow think obama bad man	„
—Georgie Bush

Buddies of chickie (that might actually not be sockpuppets)

Although the idea of chickie having any e-friends other than his socks is surprising, these guys aren't as obvious socks even though they basically live just to suck chickie's nutsack:

Candy

Candy, also known as Delicious Candy, Incredibly Delicious Candy, Cristy, Julie Vo, Julie Vor, Steve in Ohio, Uncle Fuzzy, Barack Hussein Obama, BHO, LF1, LF2, AlwaysThePatriot, Passy Nut Tony, Suzana, BusyBody, trishka and plenty other aliases is a creepy butt buddy of chickie's who basically just stands on call to give chickie hummers whenever he needs one. He has a lot in common with chickie but is less active and shows a perverse interest in gay sex, scat porn, necrophilia, and cyberstalking. This weirdo usually starts off sounding innocent and prudish, then a few minutes later posts nasty fantasies about things such as slobbering chickens' anuses or dad's jerking off their underage daughters. Definitely one of the sickest fucks on the internets - even if you live on 4chan he will likely creep you the fuck out. No shit. Supposedly he's from South Carolina, so if you live there, keep a good eye on your children at all times.

He's been caught with more socks than Gold Toe, but only got perm banned after one of the forum's mods filed an abuse report to the FCC that he had stalked him and some of his family offline via texts, phone calls and emails (apparently the mod had e-chatted with Candy awhile back and shared his email addy and cell # - big mistake). After getting banned and almost getting sued and having his identity exposed in real life, he proceeded to create a bunch of sockpuppets and spam the board and still shows up with a new sock every now and then (he's even changed ISPs at least twice to avoid being busted).

He's also created several little Proboards forums (5 to date - 4 of which were shut down for terms of service violation) which he links when he returns as a new sock - to try to lure members away from LF (being banned and having no friends and all he probably gets lonely). His most recent is The Beer Summet, which he created after abandoning his earlier forum The Coffee Cafe (for unknown reasons), where he had been hosting a petition to have his original LF account unbanned - with the agreement that his campaign of sockpuppetry will then cease. As if anyone cares.

“	What you likely heard was your daddy's boyfriend slappin it to the corpse, in his fridge.	„
—Candy

“	I'm glad I'm not a member of the shitty ass-licking, fecal filled intestine-screwing community	„
—Candy on fags

Ronson

Originally known as Kinky, then later reincarnated as Ronson and a couple of other names, Ronson is just your typical internet tough guy/virgin who stands on call for chickie whenever he wants to pretend his female persona actually has guy friends. Ronson's first account was actually Kinky but he retired it and came back as Ronson and a few other alter egos for some reason no one knows.

The only things known about him are that he has a thing for Kinky Friedman, tries to sound Texas tough and and pretends to be a decorated Air Force vet, but uses a pic of a shemale version of Sarah Palin as his avatar, and has a Sarah Palin porn collection on Photobucket and an obviously fake Myspace (which is basically just a Jordin Sparks/American Idol/Spongebob Squarepants fanboi page) both with the username "Rushdaddy", and was also banned from Idolme as "Rushdog" (along with chickie's other socks - more on that later). Ronson got banned from LF after he posted fire hydrant porn (literally), then came back as Kinky and his other socks to whine about it until they were all booted off.

Reaction to this article

Yes. He faps to Laura Croft.

After hearing about this article's existence, Chickie proceeded to start a thread whining about being made fun of and pretended that the link to this ED article had given his computer a virus, just to keep people from reading it. He ended up getting banned for a day for causing drama (but Candy came back and shat all over the forum while he was banned).

As if that weren't enough, he later started claiming that a pic of Christie Brinkley used as one of his Idolme sock avatars was his real life pick (though it took about 10 minutes of Google search to turn it up even though he changed the filename). Here's one hit).

More recently, the Chunkster has been in a huge mood of butthurt, and has been vandalizing with over 9000 cockpuppets in order to cover up the truth. But the article lives on!

Gender

While it goes without saying that he's butt ugly, Chickie's actual gender remains a mystery to this day. (Sure, his posts sound like a guy's but he could always be a bulldyke like Mann Coulter for that matter). Nevertheless most evidence indicates that he's probably a shemale. The best proof of this is a post where he says he sees Obama stickers on everything, even urinals. Emphasis urinals.

On the flip side, chickie has apparently phoned a few forum members, and they claim that he sounds like a girl. But hey now, so does Justin Bieber.

Sexual preference

Chickie is most likely either an EXTREMELY butchy lesbian, a tranny, or a woman who used to be a man (aka Mr/Miss Garrison). We know he's into guys in bondage gear screwing cars. He's also apparently a fan of "Naughty-Seduction.net". Yet confront him about his deviant lifestyle, and he'll switch to conservative Christian mode and rant about how immoral porn and pre-marital sex are. Freakin' phony. RFLMAO!

Paedophilia

In keeping with conservative Christian tradition, chickie outed himself as a pedophile one day, claiming that sex with children isn't rape is the children "consent". Looks like he could have a bright future as a NAMBLA member, Christian evangelist, or both (assuming he isn't already waiting on death row or locked up in a rubber room in some hospital).

“	She had consented sex with an old man as a kid, got pregnant, and called it rape	„
—chickie, saying he thinks it's okay for him to have sex with kids as long as "what is a penis for daddy?" means "yes".

Relationships

Chickie carried on an e-romance with some redneck by the handle "Fisherman" for awhile, and now claims to be engaged to him. Whether this is true or not remains a mystery. But hey, even losers need love too, right?

Bannage

Chunkie has been suspended a few times, but never given the official banhammer (mainly because he's kept around for comedic relief). His first ban was for the "virus" bullshit mentioned above. Later he got a month-long ban, when he stalked another member's MySpace and posted pics of his family members on the forum. More recently, he got banned for about a week for some trivial violation (though Happy started posting again during the time he was banned).

Idolme

On Idolme (an American Idol fansite) Chickie has also been banned and rebanned as at least seven sockpuppets including Angelbaby, Kelly, Sandy, Chickie, booboo, Maisha, and CherylSeagull, and they each had a unique posting style shared by one of Chickie's LF socks (booboo was the Idolme equivalent of Happy and had a fake Indian accent for example).

Proboards

On Proboards Chickie and Candy used to have their own little forum known as "The Conservative Viewpoint" until it was shut down twice for violation of terms of service. Even at its peak though it only had 7 users and about 20 threads (mostly about country music or "Who is your favorite American Idol?"), and since most of the users went by the same screennames as chickie's sockpuppets, it's likely that they were just more socks that Chickie talked to himself to pretend he had friends.

Candy created another Proboards site called "The PTL Club" after the CVP was shut down by Proboards admins. This one got shut down too, and Candy set up a forth Probards forum set up where he went by "Michelle" (The Coffee Cafe) which to date has a whopping 4 users and 2 topics. Apparently he abandoned this site for reasons unknown and set up another Proboards site "The Beer Summit" which is currently pretty much dead and features a nice redneck porn banner (he's since changed it) on the main page which he obviously gets himself off to when he's not getting laid. Though he did manage to create a couple more sockpuppets on LF and spam the URL hoping to lure people there.

Members of "The Beer Summit" include of course Candy, Chickie and Happy, Happy's alter ego Georgie Bush, as well as a few new faces including TVGirl, PRINCESS, Brittany (uses an avatar of Britney Spears), Mike (claims to be Candy's spouse - and also claims to be a musician like Ronson/Kinky did), and an account called "Tom, Nic, Joe, Bob, Jeff, KC," and another named "Liz, Mary, Jo, Tami, Lisa, Fay" (chickie created these to save time, so when they appeared in the "users online" bar, it would look like he had more fake friends than he did). But thankfully chickie abandoned LF for the time being to talk to his sockpuppets on Beer Summit. Hopefully this site won't get spammed with shock pics and shut down, forcing chickie to come back to LF yet again.

Sample of avatar collection

As chickie

• 
  Marisa Miller
• 
  Christie Brinkley
• 
  Christie Brinkley again
• 
  Christie Brinkley yet again
• 
  Christie Brinkley (he actually said this one was his real pic)
• 
  Another Christie Brinkley pic that Chickie claimed was his own
• 
  Pamela Anderson
• 
  Random chick from SingleBlondeGirls.com

As Happy

• 
  Aishwarya Rai pic that Happy originally claimed was his real pic

As Candy

• 
  Cheryl Ladd
• 
  Rush Limbaugh (BusyBody's avatar - claims he's a guy now and a surgeon just like Happy. Weird)

As Georgie Bush

• 

See also

• Asperger's Syndrome
• Dyke
• Insane
• Loser
• No life
• Shemale
• Sick fuck
• Ugly
• Unwarranted self-importance

External links

• Chickie's Liberal Forum userpage

• Happy's extensive collection of video game sprites (yet more evidence of his geekdom)
• Chickie's list of Idolme sockpuppets
• Chickie finally uploads her real pic?

• Happy's Myspace "MrsHappy1776"
• Happy's Photobucket account (obvious Dungeons and Dragons fanboi) "MistressofMagic_26"
• Could be chickie's real life profile

Chickie is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.