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ChadSyphrett: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:ChadandDA.jpg|thumb|250px|This pretty much sums up Chad and the Internet.]] | [[Image:ChadandDA.jpg|thumb|250px|This pretty much sums up Chad and the Internet.]] | ||
[[Image:JizzMonkeyChadSyphrett.png|thumb|NO. CAPTION. NEEDED.]] | [[Image:JizzMonkeyChadSyphrett.png|thumb|NO. CAPTION. NEEDED.]] | ||
If you need a good convincing example of what you don’t ever want to become, read this article. Surely, you would [[Emo|hate yourself]] if you were anything like ''' | If you need a good convincing example of what you don’t ever want to become, read this article. Surely, you would [[Emo|hate yourself]] if you were anything like '''ChristopherAnderson'''. | ||
Behold the epic lolcow that is {{deviantart|Donna Raven|Donna Louise Raven}}; a man so ridiculous and [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|full of himself]] that he couldn't be anything but a [[Troll|troll]] | Behold the epic lolcow that is {{deviantart|Donna Raven|Donna Louise Raven}}; a man so ridiculous and [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|full of himself]] that he couldn't be anything but a [[Troll|troll]]. He lashes out at the first sign of resistance. Like a good lolcow, he never quits against the Internet, occasionally [[Internet_tough_guy|issuing death threats]] and telling people that he'll join the military just so he can learn to donate to people. Let us take you on a journey around the tubes following the exploits of the man they call Christopher. | ||
__TOC__ | __TOC__ | ||
==Who is Donna Raven?== | ==Who is Donna Raven?== | ||
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[[image:Wtf-chad.jpg|thumb|Chad conversing with a [[Slut|dumb girl]].]] | [[image:Wtf-chad.jpg|thumb|Chad conversing with a [[Slut|dumb girl]].]] | ||
[[image:2i20hau.jpg|thumb|Nothing wrong here!]] | [[image:2i20hau.jpg|thumb|Nothing wrong here!]] | ||
Chad portrays himself to be an [[Loser|anti-social]] entity through his separation from his family, his addiction to everything on the internet, and that which he has posted on various websites. Needless to say, | Chad portrays himself to be an [[Loser|anti-social]] entity through his separation from his family, his addiction to everything on the internet, and that which he has posted on various websites. Needless to say, Christopher is a [[virgin]] hungering for a nice tight snatch. Unfortunately, women would rather touch an electric fence than his greasy [[black]] skin. As a result, Christopher looks for [[linux|basement dwellers]] on the mobile phone since it is, notably, the best place in existence to [[fleshlight|find one]]. Like in everything from his life, Christopher fails at getting a girlfriend. At first he'd said he was twenty-six, his true age, just to gloat about his empty achievements and superiority. Then, after being confronted by a [[loli|younger girl]], he suddenly [[musician|changed his age to three]]. | ||
Girls from deviantART are among his favorite to stalk, especially those with whom he has debated with to determine their intelligence. As he is in fact very lonely and desperate, even if he'd never seen a picture of a girl, he will still ask said loli if she wants to be his girlfriend. Successful results have been pending for the last 100 years. This is odd, considering this [[pretty cool guy|smooth talker]] used his most famous gems like asking to touch her 'cooch' and wanting to “[[Yiff|[have] puppies]]” with her. Moreover, he would put this creepy bullshit to underage girls; remember, this man is [[car salesman|seventeen years old]]. Perhaps the reason for his affinity for loli is that they are just too stupid to see through his crazy bullshit. Nonetheless, [[bawww|none of them]] ever engaged in a [[Cockblock|serious cyber-relationship with him]]. | Girls from deviantART are among his favorite to stalk, especially those with whom he has debated with to determine their intelligence. As he is in fact very lonely and desperate, even if he'd never seen a picture of a girl, he will still ask said loli if she wants to be his girlfriend. Successful results have been pending for the last 100 years. This is odd, considering this [[pretty cool guy|smooth talker]] used his most famous gems like asking to touch her 'cooch' and wanting to “[[Yiff|[have] puppies]]” with her. Moreover, he would put this creepy bullshit to underage girls; remember, this man is [[car salesman|seventeen years old]]. Perhaps the reason for his affinity for loli is that they are just too stupid to see through his crazy bullshit. Nonetheless, [[bawww|none of them]] ever engaged in a [[Cockblock|serious cyber-relationship with him]]. | ||
When he receives feedback from his victim, he will not only blurt his interest in [[cat|basement cat]], but also [[LOL WUT|telling her that he is game obsessed with it]]. When given the same answer of “no”, he would ask why, claiming that he has done nothing wrong. Upon the girl blocking him from his page and/or hiding his comments, Chad will panic and respond to this action by creating (or just using another pre-made) sockpuppet to confront this girl as she clearly made a mistake in refusing his [[lie|glorious]] pens and combs. Also, don't call Christopher a stalker because Christopher will go completely apeshit if any calls him a stalker. Oh the [[irony]]. | |||
But if that's not enough for you, check out these journals: | But if that's not enough for you, check out these journals: | ||
Revision as of 15:39, 10 May 2011
If you need a good convincing example of what you don’t ever want to become, read this article. Surely, you would hate yourself if you were anything like ChristopherAnderson.
Behold the epic lolcow that is 
Raven.deviantart.com Donna Louise Raven; a man so ridiculous and full of himself that he couldn't be anything but a troll. He lashes out at the first sign of resistance. Like a good lolcow, he never quits against the Internet, occasionally issuing death threats and telling people that he'll join the military just so he can learn to donate to people. Let us take you on a journey around the tubes following the exploits of the man they call Christopher.
Who is Donna Raven?
ChadSyphrett is a 17 year old unemployed schizophrenic who has great ambitions for e-fame, a job at Google, opening up an internet-based amusement park and a loli sidekick to satisfy his game desires. Christopher is pretty much the end result of the ungodly collision of loneliness, unwarranted self-importance and overall stupidity. Unfortunately, Christopher has a sad penchant for spreading (even more) AIDS to every site he has touched. Among those websites are 4chan, Concept Art and, of course, DeviantART.
Not much is known about Christopher’s life in the RL. However it appears as though Christopher is rather active in his church community, thus making him a religious nut. Moreover, he has noted that the feds have taken him away from his family, explaining his distrust for the government. Additionally, many of the statements he has made are what made him glow luminously in a dark room of other misfits. Among those statements, he claimed to hack the Gibson and, with the help of the Government, Donna redesigned (in other words, controls) all of the internet and took down the EVIL sites 4chan and our beloved Encyclopedia Dramatica.
His understanding of the internet is also something of vast hilarity. Whenever Christopher looks into a mirror, he would see himself as a living meme. That’s right; Christopher has an awful site on memes despite his abuse of them. Not only that, he also believes that all Web 2.0 sites should help him pay for an internet-themed amusement park, something that only lonely losers would desire.
Because Donna is a man of his word, all his plans will come to fruition by next summer!
His usual plan for Success:
- Arrive at said site.
- Make grandiose plans about how you'll unite the community if they let you become a mod
- Berate and block people who say the plan will not work
- Make long winded entries about being stalked and harassed
- Call said people pedophile Nazis who worship the devil and porn, then go to 4chan
- Make tons of reports to mods in hopes they'll start blocking the people bothering you
- Make one giant thread about how to finally eliminate the troll problem; only to have trolls, regular users, and mods tell you to shut the fuck up
- Use the influence of family members in AT&T, and in the CIA to IP track and arrest the harassers and trolls in their houses.
- Get all butthurt and take faggotry to another site
- Rinse and repeat
Chris the Conspiracy Theorist
As mentioned above, Chad has a major distrust for the government after they separated him from his family. After growing it over the years, he has developed multiple conspiracy theories that make even other kooks think that he's too gullible. Unsurprisingly, Chad chose to spread his monkey diseases to Above Top Secret, a hangout for other kooks with no lives.
—ChadOnLife, http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread346822/pg2 |
The inevitable happened: Chad was banned because not even they wanted him there. As a logical response to this great crime, he accused the mods of being CIA plants, because Chad is a genius on top of being cool. It was also revealed that Chad was removed from his home by the CPS. Not only that, but his dad had to resort to legally changing their name from 'Sypher' to 'Syphrett'. The reason for such an action is currently unknown, but it naturally signifies that the Syphrett family is not on good terms with the Guv’ment.
What Chad believes in:
- H1N1 IS MAN MADE THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE.
- Illegal immigrants are being backed by the globalists to rape little girls.
- The CIA owns Google.
- That the Zionists & Nazis run the media. (This is despite the fact that "Zionist Nazi" is about the biggest oxymoron ever).
- Ron Paul is a free mason.
- The Chinese government is using a weather machine to troll their citizens.
- "Halliburton/Owners of the Military Industrial Complex also owns Dunkin Donuts, along with some other unkosher places."
- Billions are victims to the drug war!
Chad Syphrett meets DeviantArt
In comes the major shitstorm: Chad joins the awful site known as deviantART on July 12th 2009. Chad had two clear routes for e-fame in mind: first, Chad desires to be the ambassador of DeviantART and every important Web 2.0 site. The second route was to maintain and establish a community project. He tried and failed; the story of his life. Despite failing, Chad still parades his status as an employee or, in other cases, his future employee status.
Afterwards, he created eleven official-looking-pseudo-clubs centering on various "projects". All of them had one goal, and that goal was to get Chad famous, proving that DevaintART is indeed the prime example of his self-centered ideals. In order to get this epic win, he badgered other people for content and spammed others to advertise said clubs to gather support. Although he then abandoned these clubs because he is, after all, a lazy fuck. But even then he didn't lose his ambition for e-fame.
Here is a separate page for all his "project" accounts, their history, and many failures. No fucking joke.
Everything Chad comes up with is completely original, including the revolutionary deviantART logo that he made all by himself! He uses the same fucking picture, eats it, digests it, and then re-releases it through his bloody diarrhea as a brand new 'deviation'. As he is more of a tracer than an artist, he rapes google images on a hourly basis. And although his amazing claim of 100% OC seemed impossible to disprove, someone found a logo that looks too similar to "his" idea. In an act of reasonable innocence, he promptly hid the comment.
Original atheist symbol. Among his famous creations are Captain Bizarre, a look deviously stolen by Michael Jackson's chimp Bubbles plus a Jew hat, and Fapman; which were clearly pirated by DC Comics.
On top of everything else, Chad has a poor understanding of rules. The following is a list of known examples of Chad's misunderstandings, we shit you not.
- Mod-Privileges For Victims Of Constant Harassment
- Spawned after he made a gay-bashing journal and received criticism.
- Ban Stalkers and Harassers
- With no excuses.
- Permaban Obvious Stalkers & Harassers
- Please terminate deviantART-Hate-Groups, such as #dAramatica
- Ban evasion is okay!
- Plz appeal
- They're following the rules...Chad...wtf?
Reasoning with Chad is like talking to a brick wall, because he will think you're spamming him. Even when you speak coherently.
After countless acts of asshattery and spam, he was finally banned from DA. #Daramatica, the group he despises the most, collectively lol'd, thus forcing Chad to have his e-period and act like a bitch. From then on, he was set to internet tough guy mode and threatened anyone who stood in his way. He even declared that the staff could not, and should not, ban him for he is a living meme from a website. It should be noted that calling Chad a meme even disgusts Milhouse.
Chad the Perv
Chad portrays himself to be an anti-social entity through his separation from his family, his addiction to everything on the internet, and that which he has posted on various websites. Needless to say, Christopher is a virgin hungering for a nice tight snatch. Unfortunately, women would rather touch an electric fence than his greasy black skin. As a result, Christopher looks for basement dwellers on the mobile phone since it is, notably, the best place in existence to find one. Like in everything from his life, Christopher fails at getting a girlfriend. At first he'd said he was twenty-six, his true age, just to gloat about his empty achievements and superiority. Then, after being confronted by a younger girl, he suddenly changed his age to three.
Girls from deviantART are among his favorite to stalk, especially those with whom he has debated with to determine their intelligence. As he is in fact very lonely and desperate, even if he'd never seen a picture of a girl, he will still ask said loli if she wants to be his girlfriend. Successful results have been pending for the last 100 years. This is odd, considering this smooth talker used his most famous gems like asking to touch her 'cooch' and wanting to “[have] puppies” with her. Moreover, he would put this creepy bullshit to underage girls; remember, this man is seventeen years old. Perhaps the reason for his affinity for loli is that they are just too stupid to see through his crazy bullshit. Nonetheless, none of them ever engaged in a serious cyber-relationship with him.
When he receives feedback from his victim, he will not only blurt his interest in basement cat, but also telling her that he is game obsessed with it. When given the same answer of “no”, he would ask why, claiming that he has done nothing wrong. Upon the girl blocking him from his page and/or hiding his comments, Chad will panic and respond to this action by creating (or just using another pre-made) sockpuppet to confront this girl as she clearly made a mistake in refusing his glorious pens and combs. Also, don't call Christopher a stalker because Christopher will go completely apeshit if any calls him a stalker. Oh the irony.
But if that's not enough for you, check out these journals:
The Enemies
Chad will call anybody who disagrees with him a harasser. As you can see, Chad is very reasonable in claiming this, because only retards and trolls would disagree with his opinion of truth. Let’s take a look at how Chad rightfully judges others:
- If you disagree with Chad Syphrett, you are a stalker and/or harasser. Chad meets a lot of stalkers & harassers on DA.
- If you don't send your content for DeviantART Magazine fast enough, you're on his shit list.
- If you don't reply to his messages fast enough, you're going to get trolled by one of his alternate accounts.
In regards to the image above, this would mean that Chad supports attention whores, pedophiles, cannibals and harassers, as long as they do not congregate at 4chan or ED; murderers, rapists, thieves, art defacers, scammers, animal abusers, animal rapists, hypocrites, art theives, slanderers, IRL harrassers, plagiarists, porn addicts, terrorists, facetiously polite people, fetishists, pushy fetishists, cyber games roleplayers, internet companies, skiddies, drama theaters, and you. A fine list he has made, indeed! After all, furries do not appear once, proving there's some hope for him after all.
After a while of being cruelly harassed and stalked by perverted bigots, he got a love poem made by a visitor that launched a thousand ships. He cried about it and the rest of the haters in his infamous journal, the one with the tl;dr hit list. Blocking trolls is one thing, but he did something more retarded, and that's rubbing his recent blockage to the blockees' faces, effectively spamming and harassing the blockee instead. But hey, +1 pageview!
Once Chad realized that ED was in hot pursuit, he registered under the name "DeviantArt" to incite drama and throw ED off his trail. When that failed, he registered under his own name to gloat. In fact, why not read the quick rundown of the 1500 reply thread? Other than causing a few basement dwellers to break a sweat from typing, it accomplished nothing productive.
More examples of his failures
4chan
One day, Chad submitted a deviation with his opinion on 4chan. They were less than flattering of these upstanding anons and failed to consider the fact that memes and 4chan go together like Africa and AIDs. IRL, many channers are be immature, fat and abuse memes, but Chad is someone who respects these great creations and wants to make an internet-themed amusement park in their honour. On top of that, as he considers himself to be a living meme. As such, it's natural to assume Chad would be a 4channer himself, but fuck you, because he's too good for those ungrateful shits.
The attention whore that he is lets us assume he was a namefag (probably going by the clever name 'AnonymousJoker'). The origins of his second super creative name 'SmartTroll' isn't fully understood, but it's a safe bet that he came up with it when 4chan accused him of trolling with his shitty comics' spam.
Why would a morally righteous person, such as Chad, ever even want to be a part of 4chan? This art deviation of his might have the answer.
—Chad the newfag, Anonymous Joker Huge Eyes Yay |
The True Computer Expert
As all computer experts know, Windows was made with multiple CIA back doors to find his CP. But because Chad Syphrett is a very important person with OMG government connections, he needed a more secure operating system. The clear choice was Windows XP x64. Unfortunately, he couldn't figure out what hardware he had, what drivers are or how to install the OS on his system. When Dell Support wouldn't help him install this obviously superior OS, he turned to the most logical alternative: Unbutu support forums. He got no help there or at Donation Coder, so he stumbled into DriverPacks.net forums and demanded help without reading the FAQ or stickies. This resulted in his first known epic smackdown.
—Chad-Syphrett | ||
Remember: this guy can't install an OS or make a web page.
ConceptArt
- Here we go again! A sign that ConceptArt.org is turning into DeviantArt?
- And again! Chad begs the users of Conceptart to help him get unbanned from DA.
- The Admin grows tired of Chad's shit and lays down the ban hammer and locks the thread. But then that admin got a special pm by a certain someone...
—ChadSyphrett, ConceptArt |
Other Examples
- Cracked
—codespyder, http://www.cracked.com/forums/index.php?topic=52407 |
After this, Chad left in a rage and held a permanent grudge against Cracked.com. butthurt blog 1 butthurt blog 2 Butthurt Blog 3 BUTTHURT BLOG 4 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
- MAY 2010, HE RETURNS FOR REVENGE.
- Abestweb is a site for online paid advertising affiliate programs. Chad decided this was a GREAT place to advertise his flickr and failcomics.
- He couldn't make it past his INTRO thread without pissing off admins and using a sock puppet.
- And here is where he cries about it and misses the point of everything completely.
- Trying to get hired at Newgrounds, thread deleted.
- Even the fags at KnowYourMeme.com couldn't stop at laughing at this retard!
- Chad has so much faggotry at Gaia, it needed its own page. It contains lots of teenage girl harassment.
- Would the owner of Gaiaonline Please Support Me? His most recent failure
- I want a job at Gaia!!! For fuck sakes in the last link someone left a link of who he should get in contact with, more evidence that Chad is fucking retarded and won't listen to anything unless it comes out of his own mouth.
- Trying to get hired again, Apr. 12th
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
More Screenshots, Pictures
Some images of Chad, his real age, and proof that he only listens to people he wants to fuck.
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Save yourself the bandwidth rape and don't open this image. Trust us, your not missing anything! Like. Not even a little bit. -
A prime example of Chad raping memes. -
See Also
- USI
- Moderator
- Doing it wrong
- Sockpuppet
- Irony
- Internet Tough Guy
- Retarded
- Kimmo Alm, another spammer.
External Links
- He made so many accounts that they deserved their own page. Each account has a time-stamp to indicate his obsession with the Internet.
- Chad can't stop being a shithead, but he does try to hide it by deleting his journals. Luckily ED has a whole page of screenshots full of his infinite wisdom.
- The anti-Chad Blog
- Chad on Storm-Artists
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ChadSyphrett is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
|
ChadSyphrett is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article November 5, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by Favregeddon |
ChadSyphrett | Succeeded by Simply Sara |