Earth

MOSTLY HARMLESS.

Earth, in better times.

Artist's rendition of the Earth.

Geography can be fun!

Earth ( also known as Terra, Teegeack, Erff or Urrf ) is the 3rd planet from the star Sol and is most notable for its ruler Fil. The Thriving population of over 9,000 Humans and at least 100 Nigras who live on it. Earth is estimated by top scientists to be between 6,000 and 8,000 years old, created and built by Lord Xenu. Earth is home to many people that won't shut the fuck up, and fucktards from 4chan. Since Al Gore invented Global Warming and Nigras started to litter their condoms and Starbucks cups everywhere, it is often said that the Earth is doomed. However this is a stupid point as the sun will proceed to asplode in over 9,000 years, thus rendering all human achievements pointless.

Common Misconceptions About Earth

The Pope begins his reign of darkness.

• MYTH: The Earth is a sphere with a circumference of 24,900 miles and orbits the sun alongside 7 other planets.

FACT: The latest scientific research indicates that the Earth is the center of the universe and is actually a flat disk held up by four Elephants standing on the back of a massive turtle. Most importantly, it is stationary

• MYTH: The Earth is harmless.

FACT: The Earth is mostly harmless.

• MYTH: Humans are the only intelligent species in the solar system.

FACT: There is no intelligent life on Earth. The last bastion of educated thought were the dinosaurs, who were killed off by Jesus. On that day, intelligent life as we know it disappeared. One look at any emo or liberal community on LiveJournal proves this.

• MYTH: The planets political state is controlled by a select group of humans.

FACT: The planet is run by a race of reptilian aliens taking the form of World Leaders.

• MYTH: The election of the new Pope will usher in a time of darkness for all to come.

FACT: The election of the new Pope will usher in a time of darkness, but only because he looks like Darth Sidious from Star Wars.

The Creation Of Earth

There are two theories circulating the interbutts regarding how the Earth was created, causing much controversy on which one of them is true.

The first of these theories is that the Earth was created by nothing which magically exploded for no reason and created everything. This idea is an obvious lie and was first hypothesized by evil scientists such as Ted Bundy and Albert Einstein. These people are the devil and simply want to lead Christians astray from God for the Lulz.

For the true theory we merely have to look into our bible. Chapter 1 Genesis,

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth.

'Nuff fucking said, God did it. Science is the Devil and the Bible is to be taken literally in every single way. Or you are going to Hell.

End of the Story

It is often thought that the world will end in 2012, mainly because some old calender finally finishes on that year...or something. In actuality, it will end when the U.S. and Russia decide to stop arguing over who has the bigger dick and nuke us all.

See Also

• Za Warudo
• Pluto
• Flat Earth Society