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Nuchan faggots with fake info
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The official IRC channel is not even owned by gurochan at all, which is not surprising considering enclaved blows all his money on krokodil and ryonaloli blows all his money on tinfoil hats. The embarassing part though, if someone who owns fucking gurochan could actually FEEL embarassment, is the owners of the site only have +voice on their shitty channel... The actual owner of the channel, animone, wants to be king of the freaks and will NOT give up ownership of this channel to the actual admins, which is predictable since they are beta losers anyway. Animone is also known to somehow lurk for months on irc without saying anything, meaning "she" is obviously the [[FBI]].
The official IRC channel is not even owned by gurochan at all, which is not surprising considering enclaved blows all his money on krokodil and ryonaloli blows all his money on tinfoil hats. The embarassing part though, if someone who owns fucking gurochan could actually FEEL embarassment, is the owners of the site only have +voice on their shitty channel... The actual owner of the channel, animone, wants to be king of the freaks and will NOT give up ownership of this channel to the actual admins, which is predictable since they are beta losers anyway. Animone is also known to somehow lurk for months on irc without saying anything, meaning "she" is obviously the [[FBI]].


== Gurochan revived (again) and the war with r/Guro ==
== The Vodka-swilling Swindler ==


In 2019, Straitjackit was notified by gurochan's host that it didn't appreciate the site hosting imagery of lolis getting cattle pronged while hooked on an IV machine full of zit juice and vomit. So Straitjackit followed in the footsteps of Mark Poolerberg, owner of alt.binaries.diaper.porn, and obliged without a second thought, [[Troll|wiping 99.9999999% of the site clean.]]
Until recently, Gurochan was down for a while. Kuukunen, the admin, was too busy being a [[You|greasy fat weeb fag]], and the last mods, the gayest of them all, Straitjackit, were sitting around looking for ways to host the site. After much lulz, Straitjackit was tricked into getting Kuukunen to hand over the website. [[https://encyclopediadramatica.wiki/index.php/Jews|Kuz]], the new owner of an already dead site, then got into an argument after wanting to advertise his other dead sites on Gurochan, given it was the only bit of success he had gotten for a while. Straitjackit went nigmode and banned Kuz and then Kuz's little brother banned everyone from the shitcord server.


This [[Waaaambulance|predictably caused mass butthurt]], and the remaining [[oldfags]] from 2005 era gurochan all collectively packed for reddit/killed themselves. Gurochan didn't last long after the loli ban, and some spammed [[Captain Picard|CP]] in [[asshurt|retaliation]], which in turn caused the current Gurochan staff to [[ragequit|give up]] and [[shut it down|shut the site down.]] For <s>about a year and a half</s> [[at least 100 years ago]], there was no gurochan, or even a bunker board, since despite gurochan's userbase being primarily made up of 45 year old virgins, they still aren't good at computer, so no one could host a proper replacement. That is until one [[Mother Russia|33 year old Russian pedophile]] came around, who goes by the name ''kuz'' ([[Powerword]]: '''Yuri Kuznetsov'''), the man behind many famous [[*chans|imageboards]], such as [[who|9channel]] and [[huh|heyuri]]. Despite having so many successful imageboards under [[penis|his wing]], he wanted [[moar|more.]]
Upon realising that he just turned a community against him and ruining Gurochan with useless updates, and breaking the report system further, Kuz sent out LOLsuits, to which Straitjackit replied "Suck a hot fart out of my ass" like the faggot retard he is.


In the year 1985 + 36, during kuzzykins quest of finding imageboards to [[rape|partner up with]], he finds the lazy fags that ran the previous iteration of gurochan and struck a deal with them. Gurochan came back with no issues, until a few seconds after the site launched, kuz and the previous gurochan team had [[Cocksucking Rampage|an argument]] over which [[horsecock|trojan horse]] ads and [[aids|datamining software]] should be embedded into the boards. Kuz rightfully called Straitjackit a fat nigger faggot, and [[b&]] everyone from the pisscord group. Straitjackit and his lackies [https://archive.ph/Z1QUT bitched on the new gurochan], owned and operated by Kolyma Network™, in hopes of stealing back the userbase, but then they [[Self-aware|realized]] [[lul|the userbase hates their fucking guts.]] The only community that gave them any [[asspat|sympathy]] was [https://archive.is/tXBXj r/guro], the only guro community filled with [[virgins|male-feminists]] that fap to drawn pictures of [[Women's suffrage|dead women]], while simultaneously [[bitch|reprimanding]] [[faggot|someone]] for [[shitting|making]] a [[unfunny|joke]] on another [[reddit|subreddit]].


As of right now, Gurochan is about as active as it's always been, with practically no rules, except for [[Rule 34]]. Along with the no rules attitude this new iteration has, there's also a few [[incest|sister chans]], like [https://bloodymess.net/ Gorechan], and [https://lolisare.fun/lg/ LOLIBOARD]. Because Kuz is a ruski and hosts the site himself, he's [[hax|immune]] to Murican internet laws, so he can host as much loli raep as he wants, [[Baaa|much to the dismay of plebbit's guro community.]]
As of right now, Gurochan is dead. People complain on the site about the posting of child pronz and the trolls, but they're the only thing keeping that place alive.


== How to troll ==
== How to troll ==

Revision as of 18:41, 7 July 2021

GUROchan
FoundationUnknown
Major Boards/f/, /g/, /s/
Epic Winsowners getting v& 20 times, making their own IB software where all the variables are "deadloli"
Websitehttp://gurochan.nethttp://gurochan.orghttps://gurochan.ch and http://gurochanocizhuhg.onion/ https://www.gurochan.cx/https://www.gurochan.ga/https://www.guro.wtf/

Do you have a hankering for doing the hanky-panky to a little boy getting his dick cheese-grated onto a pizza? Do you dream about making a human centipede, but aren't man enough to do it? Does the thought of eating a fetus, shitting it out, and eating it again make your mouth water with excitement? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, gurochan™ is for you!

The thing that just won't die

Gurochan has mysteriously disappeared twice in recorded history, for "unknown" reasons. Most believe it was because the first admins were serial killers and the second ones were pedos. However, just like any cockroach, it seems that no matter how many times you kill this site, it keeps coming back.

The current admins are enclaved and ryonaloli. Little is known about enclaved except that he lives off of his mom's disability check in a studio apartment in russia, and stays on irc all day high on heroin. Literally NOTHING is known about ryonaloli, except that he is so fucking paranoid he wears tinfoil around his dick so the NSA won't monitor his dicksignals and that he seems to be pro google. Or at least he's against an irrational hatred for google.

On this site, expect to find boards literally DEDICATED to shit (/s/), bugs fucking amputees in the ass (/f/), and fat guys gang-raping a loli's eyesocket (/g/).

Oh, and one more thing...

..they have a /fur/ board.

IRC

The official IRC channel is not even owned by gurochan at all, which is not surprising considering enclaved blows all his money on krokodil and ryonaloli blows all his money on tinfoil hats. The embarassing part though, if someone who owns fucking gurochan could actually FEEL embarassment, is the owners of the site only have +voice on their shitty channel... The actual owner of the channel, animone, wants to be king of the freaks and will NOT give up ownership of this channel to the actual admins, which is predictable since they are beta losers anyway. Animone is also known to somehow lurk for months on irc without saying anything, meaning "she" is obviously the FBI.

The Vodka-swilling Swindler

Until recently, Gurochan was down for a while. Kuukunen, the admin, was too busy being a greasy fat weeb fag, and the last mods, the gayest of them all, Straitjackit, were sitting around looking for ways to host the site. After much lulz, Straitjackit was tricked into getting Kuukunen to hand over the website. [[1]], the new owner of an already dead site, then got into an argument after wanting to advertise his other dead sites on Gurochan, given it was the only bit of success he had gotten for a while. Straitjackit went nigmode and banned Kuz and then Kuz's little brother banned everyone from the shitcord server.

Upon realising that he just turned a community against him and ruining Gurochan with useless updates, and breaking the report system further, Kuz sent out LOLsuits, to which Straitjackit replied "Suck a hot fart out of my ass" like the faggot retard he is.


As of right now, Gurochan is dead. People complain on the site about the posting of child pronz and the trolls, but they're the only thing keeping that place alive.

How to troll

  • Go on IRC claiming to be the feds, and tell ryonaloli his CP stash will be confiscated.
  • Remind animone that being a tranny just makes you a faggot, NOT a gurl.
  • Remind enclaved he fails at life He's constantly too high on da krok to care.
  • Post reaction pictures to everything.
  • Use TOR to evade bans.

Gallery

Use eyebleach... About missing Pics
  • Gurochanner taking the family pet out for a stroll
    Gurochanner taking the family pet out for a stroll
  • Most of the shit here is so fucking creepy it can't even be uploaded HERE
    Most of the shit here is so fucking creepy it can't even be uploaded HERE
  • Literally half the shit on this site is lolicon. No lolis have ever been known to make it out alive.
    Literally half the shit on this site is lolicon. No lolis have ever been known to make it out alive.
  • Artist's impression of the current admin, ryonaloli
    Artist's impression of the current admin, ryonaloli
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • The other admin, enclaved, trying to hide his meth-induced acne with his mother's makeup
    The other admin, enclaved, trying to hide his meth-induced acne with his mother's makeup
  • Classic stupidity
    Classic stupidity

See also

  • trippin-resident whore of #guro.Telling her she's a dumb slut will get you b&

External links

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