Apple: Difference between revisions

← Older edit Newer edit →

Revision as of 21:47, 17 June 2011

File:A'Apple claim to fame is that they invented the PC even though it was actually invented by the CTC

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 [[Image:Macvspc2.jpg|center]]<br/>
-[[Image:Apple%3Bthink-different.jpg|thumb|Think different.]]
+[[Image:A'''Apple'']] claim to fame is that they invented the [[PC]] even though it was actually invented by [[the Man|the CTC]] <!--Computer Terminal Corp. (dubiou>. Appls also known as the one company that had to be paid by [[Microsoft]] to stay in business.  Led by all-star douchebag [[S]], Apple is the favorite high-tech company of [[Goatse.cx|"artistes"]] everywhere.  This is because people believe Apple makes awesome [[shit|computers]] that off-set their exorbitant price by becoming obsolete only once a week. The truth is, they are merely victims of the [[Reality Distortion Field]]. While Apple may have done some [[mantrain|neat things in the past]], they are now just a music company.
-[[Image:Apple users.jpg|thumb|right|Apple users rushing to actually pay for that new Service Pack called "Snow Leopard"]]
-[[Image:Linux_osx_shot.JPG|thumb|right|150px|Stupid linux users trying to fake "The actual thing" to look hip and cool, totally ignoring the fact that it makes him look like a nigger]]
-[[Anal Prolapse|'''Apple''''s]] claim to fame is that they invented the [[PC]] even though it was actually invented by [[the Man|the CTC]] <!--Computer Terminal Corp. (dubious)-->. Apple is also known as the one company that had to be paid by [[Microsoft]] to stay in business.  Led by all-star douchebag [[Steve Jobs]], Apple is the favorite high-tech company of [[Goatse.cx|"artistes"]] everywhere.  This is because people believe Apple makes awesome [[shit|computers]] that off-set their exorbitant price by becoming obsolete only once a week. The truth is, they are merely victims of the [[Reality Distortion Field]]. While Apple may have done some [[mantrain|neat things in the past]], they are now just a music company.
-Mac users were once the most annoying computer fans on the planet so they always had to [http://mackeeper.zeobit.com/empty-trash-mac empty trash mac]. Now they are the second most annoying, just slightly after [[Linux]] users.  They are continuously bragging about how [[lie|easy a one-button mouse is]], how great the benefits of [[stupid|the "genie" effect]] are, and act like [[BSD]] was just invented. Unfortunately, if you want to be [[Placentafag|famous]], you have to be a Mac user.
+Mac users were once the most a [[stupid|the "genie" effect]] are, and act like [[BSD]] was just invented. Unfortunately, if you want to be [[Placentafag|famous]], you have to be a Mac user.
-Apple has borne an unearthly hatred for [[Microsoft]] ever since being marooned on [[Star Trek|Ceti Alpha V]], but [[Bill Gates]] still does not mind raking in the cash from all those [[Microsoft Office]] sales.  People who claim to like Mac computers can typically be found wearing [[Insane Clown Posse]] t-shirts.
+Apple has borne an unea those [[Microsoft Office]] sales.  People who claim to like Mac computers can typically be found wearing [[Insane Clown Posse]] t-shirts.
-According to a survey taken in early 2000, Apple had sold a total of 315 Macs to customers on two continents. However, with Apple's recent success, these figures have seen a great increase. A moar recent study shows that Apple now has 908 owners on 3 continents, all of which are female college students, gay hipsters, or old people with poor eyesight who mistook a MacBook for a [[lime]]-green black person Grill. This leaves Apple only slightly behind Microsoft's user base of 4.6 billion (mostly non-[[retarded]]) customers.
+According to a survey takengreat increase. A moar recent study shows that Apple now has 908 owners on 3 continents, all of which are female college students, gay hipsters, or e of 4.6 billion (mostly non-[[retarded]]) customers.
-In June 2005, seven [[PowerPC]] fans gathered in Cupertino, California in order to collectively slit their wrists. This was meant to protest Apple's move to [[Intel]], but instead provided welcome industrial dye for the new [[U2]]-endorsed, strawberry-flavored iMac.
+In June 2005, seven [[PowerPad provided welcome industrial dye for the new [[U2]]-endorsed, strawberry-flavored iMac.
-Rumor has it that after being questioned about Apple's move to [[Intel]], [[Steve Jobs]] answered "I did it for teh [[lulz]]".
+Rumor has it that after being questioned ael]], [[Steve Jobs]] answered "I did it for teh [[lulz]]".
-Apple's corporate slogan is [[Buttsecks|"Fuck Differently."]]
+Apple's corporate s[Buttsecks|"Fuck Differently."]]
 __TOC__
@@ Line 21: / Line 18: @@
 == Apple Users ==
 [[Image:Macgay.jpg|thumb|right|Think different, think gay.]]
-[[Image:Mac-think-different-urinal.jpg|thumb|right|Mac; [[Feels good man|think]] [[Gay|different]].]]
+[[Image:Mac-think-different-ur MACFAG, SO I PREFER SHIT OVER ICE CREAM.|Typical mac user}}
-[[Image:MacGaysLinuxPedophiles.jpg|thumb|right|Studies show that Mac users are [[Faggotry|gay]]. They also show that Lunix users are [[Pedophilia|pedophiles]], and because both operating systems are "Unix-like", we can conclude that Mac users too are pedophiles (in addition to being gay).]]
-[[Image:Wershup.png|thumb|right|mac users irl. srsly.]]
-{{quote|Once a macfag, always a macfag.| Tyler Pittman|ED Mailing List.}}
-{{quote|I like anything that is shiny and made by Apple.|Typical Apple User|The Onion.}}
-{{quote|If I had the choice between being gay and owning a Mac, I would rather be gay because if I owned a Mac, I would be both gay and own a horrible computer.|Reliable source}}
-{{quote|HURR DURR I'M AN ELITIST MACFAG, SO I PREFER SHIT OVER ICE CREAM.|Typical mac user}}
 <b>Apple users are noobs.</b>
 Apple users believe that they are [[unwarranted self-importance|better than you are]], but what they don't know is that Macs were originally (and are still today) made purely for watching [[gay]] [[porn]]. People who subscribe to [[Slavery|Apple's corporate philosophy]] often espouse the notion that Apple products are somehow inherently more [[liberal]] than other things built out of metal and silicon. While this is true for the special case of [[Ann Coulter]], Apple users are in all other cases simply the delusional but [[Whore|willing victims]] of trendy advertising, which makes expensive [[computers]] made by [[communists]] appear to be a counter-culture political statement.
-Apple users are simply [[fucktards]] who will believe anything they see in a commercial, as long as it agrees with the knee-jerk opinions they have already formed from other advertisements. In the final analysis, Apple users are helpless [[slavery|slaves]] [[Tl;dr|irrevocably wed to the mediated and hyper-hedonistic run away freight train of industrial society]]; thanks to iPods built with alien mind control technology they are unable to conceive existence outside of music, video, images, and [[Crapp|Crapps]].
+Apple users are simply [[fucktards]] who will believe anything they see in a commercial, as long as it agrees with the knee-jerk opinions they have already formed from other , video, images, and [[Crapp|Crapps]].
+minati|Protocols of the Elders of Macintosh]].
-It is these legions of iPod wearing zombies with their thick black framed glasses and trendy shiny hair who are the Storm-Troopers of the [[pope|"Great-Beast"]]. See, [[Illuminati|Protocols of the Elders of Macintosh]].
+College and university students and [[unwarranted self-s again, with his usual streak of venom. This is usually despite advisory in the online store which clearly states that the item is unsuitablee for use with Apple-Mac.
-College and university students and [[unwarranted self-importance|elitists]] that are taking or have taken [[Unrealistic Expectations|business and arts degrees]] can be found with a Mac which provides them that much needed inferior computing flexibility for their ultimately useless and [[gay]] degrees and find that their shitty Mac will contribute most to their [[Fail|student debts]].
-===Cult===
-People make jokes relating to the Apple User's main preoccupation - Proselytizing for Apple. No sooner than they spend their hard earned jewgolds on a shiney new gadget from Cuppertino they spend their entire lives stuffing that fact down the throats of all thier friends, family and anyone else they end up conversing with. They go on at length about the longevity of their expensive hardware while they save moar jewgolds ready for the updated version - akin to an IRL vertsion of YoVille (oh wait! flash on iShit> NO ZYNGA FUN FOR iFAGS)
-Enforcement of this cult like agenda seems to have the word "Proprietary" at the heart of it. Proprietary file types, Proprietary plugs. This is one of the methods by which Macfags are kept loyal to the brand, no point in trying to play M4A files anywhere else.. or expecting a universal data connector.. amirite?
-===Dead Agenting===
-Notice on tech review sites many well regarded peripherals having a fuckton of Five-Star reviews but only a 4.75 average? well my friend sort reviews by rating, lowest first, and spot the exceedingly wordy, (might i even say "verbose"?) One-Star ratings and guess which operating system the asshole writing it is using? Yes, you got it, the MacFag strikes again, with his usual streak of venom. This is usually despite advisory in the online store which clearly states that the item is unsuitablee for use with Apple-Mac.
 ===Scientology===
-The similarities between the Apple thing and Scientology are quite surprising
-New Recruits out Proselytizing from day 1[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proselytism]
-La La La I'm not listening syndrome for any critisism
-Dead Agenting any other products wherever possible
-Eventually cutting themselves off into their introverted and insular "community"
-Falling over themselves to raise the jewgolds for the next product
-Needing their creditcard out at every verse end
-==Humour==
-It would seem that Apple and it's devotees are the subject of much Internet Humour.
-Q = "How do you know if someone is an Apple User?"
 A = "Don't worry, they'll tell you"
-== Your Average Apple Consumer ==
-[[Image:Macuser.jpg|thumb|right|150px|A typical Macintosh user. Notice the enjoyment he is receiving
-from ingesting his own [[shit|feces]].]]
-Apple consumers are just that: consumers.  They're people who buy shit just because they saw it on TV.  Apple consumers are the type of people who are stupid enough to buy a $1499 MacBook Air, which has one USB port and no CD drive, or even a fucking ethernet port, but it can fit inside a manila envelope, which is [[Shit|<I>such</I> a useful function]].  (Idiot, you can send super secret stuff you hacked by reading [[CSIII]].)  They'll also buy an iPod Nano or iPod Shuffle, even if they already own an iPod because all Apple fans are trendyfags who wear tight emo pants so they can't fit a regular-sized iPod in their pocket.  Instead if paying $30 for a pair of pants with bigger pockets, [[Fucktard|they would rather spend $70-$160 on a toy that'll be obsolete the following week]].
-If you want to know who a [[faggot|typical Apple user is]], take a look at any one of [[fail| the iMac commercials]]. Apple fans are people who like to be told what to do, and [[Scientology|who cannot think for themselves]], but merely like to hear one side of an argument from a [[Faux News|biased source]] and never hear the other side of the argument.  In other words, [[Liberals]].  Your average Apple consumer will be a 20-something [[Hipster]] named [[roflcopter|Grant]] with stupid chunky black plastic rimmed glasses and/or dyed black [[emo]] hair or a bald head (kind of like that fag Moby - who loves Apple so much that he was featured in the [[shit|iPod introduction video]]). They are generally the type of people who major in lighting, attend [[modern art]] galleries on a regular basis, listen to U2, drink cappuccino, [[hippie|eat organic shit]], listen to [[Indie]], and cry while masturbating furiously in the corner to stylistic, [[gay|artistic]], sepia-toned pictures of Bono. They will generally live in either an ugly Victorian townhouse or some other area populated by pretentious champagne socialists.  Mac users are to be avoided at all costs.
-Remember that there's a world of difference between "acting intelligent" and actually "being intelligent" - of course, this statement could only resonate to the mind of a PC user, so you Apple Boys just ignore it and keep on reading.
-A typical argument that (kinda) ends in a Mac user's favor:
-*PC user: Oh hey mac user, what have you been up to?
-*Mac user: NOT GETTING TEH BLUW SCREEN OF TEH DEATHZ!!! LOLZ!11!one1!
-*PC user: You do know that the blue screen is actually quite rare, right?
 *Mac user: wuell at leest i dont get viruses.
-*PC user: Don't get viruses? HAVE YOU HEARD OF NO-TRON FOR MACS SHIT FOR BRAINS?
+*PC user: Don't get viruses? HAVE YOU HEARD OF NO-TRON FOR
-*Mac user: us mac pplz still have the finder, while you pc pplz have to run around in a goose chase, trying to find stuff.
 *PC user: Is going through folders all that different on a Mac than on a PC?
@@ Line 99: / Line 39: @@
 *Mac user: wweeeeellll-
-*PC user: Fuck this shit, I'm going to fuck myself now.
 == List of Apple fanboys on Youtube ==
-SoldierKnowsBest - [http://www.youtube.com/user/SoldierKnowsBest] <br />
+SoldierKnowsBest - [http://www.youtube.cor/SoldierKnowsBest] <br />
 justinsbigidea - [http://www.youtube.com/user/justinsbigidea]<br />
-gobbypower - [http://www.youtube.com/user/gobbypower] <br />
+gobbypower - [http://www.youtube.com/user/gobbyptend to have [[Africa|HIV]]]]
-[[File:8555_540.jpg‎|thumb|right|180px|Mac users tend to have [[Africa|HIV]]]]
 == However... ==
-Unlike normal PC users, who more often than not drive a true American car built in Motor City rigged with a V8 engine of at least 1 UK gallon of displacement, you'll quite often find your typical Apple consumer driving a [[unwarranted self importance|pompous]] [[Europe|Eurotrash]] vehicle (e.g. BMW, SAAB, Volkswagen, Peugot), or Subaru with a kayak or [[shit nobody cares about|pair of cross country skis]] on the roof, not because they need it or really even want it, but because they feel it would set them apart from all those "other people" ("other people" being those who don't act like [[leftard|faggots]]).
+Unlike normal PC users, who more ofnd your typical Apple consumer driving a [[unwarranted self importance|pompous]] [[Europe|Eurotrash]] vehicle (e.g. BMW, SAAB, Volkswagen, Peugot), or Subaru with a kayak or [[shit nobody cares about|pair of cross country skis]] on the roof, not because they need it or really even want it, but because t
+ter, rather than an overpriced [[Dildo|toy]].
-Apple fans often insist that Macs are easier to use than PCs, but by making such an argument, all they really do is imply that they're too damn stupid to figure out how to use a real computer, rather than an overpriced [[Dildo|toy]].
+== Criticism ==|thumb|Know the Difference.]]
-== Criticism ==
-[[Image:Fuckoffmac.gif|center]]
-[[Image:New_iMac_for_same_iDiot(Img3cfef3c5e7eff).jpg|thumb|]]
-[[Image:Windows_Mac_Linux.jpg|thumb|Know the Difference.]]
 [[Image:Apple1.PNG|thumb|Right click indeed.]]
 [[Image:Mac_sucks.jpg|thumb|Best slogan evar.]]
-A secret survey conducted by the Rand Corporation in the 1970s confirmed that any person attracted to [[Michael Jackson|white, plastic machines]] completely without sharp edges is an [[LiveJournal|utter homosexual]], subconsciously wishing to insert them into his [[1man1jar|rectum]]. (This thesis was famously defended by [[E-Psychiatrist|Sigmund Freud]] [[at least 100 years ago]].) This led some to theorize that the miraculous upsurge in sales at the dawn of the new millennium, after a long period during which no one would buy an Apple computer, was the result of a coup backed by the CIA. It could not be a coincidence, it was argued, that every new design released by Apple had a counterpart amongst the suggestions presented in the Rand Corporation survey, which had recently been made public, to which it was almost identical. The CIA's interest in the coup supposedly was to divert the interest of the [[Pretentiousness|inhabitants of California]] towards "expressing themselves" with shitty programs such as iPhoto, Pages and iMovie (all designed especially to appeal to homosexuals) so that the Republicans could regain power from the [[Democrats]] in the 2000 presidential elections. The CIA confessed its partaking in the coup after the Republican [[Hitler|Thousand Year Empire]] was secured in 2004, and admitted to doing this "for the [[lulz]]".
+A secret survey conducted by the R is an [[LiveJournal|utter homosexual]], subconsciously wishing to insert them into his [[1man1jar|rectum]]. (This thesis was famously defended by chiatrist|Sigmund Freud]] [[at least 100 years ago]].) This led some to theorize that the miraculous upsurge in sales at the dawn of the new millennium, after aargued, that every new design released by Apple had a counterpart amongst the suggestions presented in the Rand Corporation survey, which had recently been made public, to which it was almost identical. The CIA's interest in the coup supposedly was to divert the interest of the [[Pretentiousness|inhabitants) so that the Republicans could regain power from the [[Democrats]] in the 2000 presidential elections. The CIA confessed its partaking in the coup after the Republican [[Hitler|Thousand Year Empire]] was secured in 2004, and admitted to doing this "for the [[lulz]]".
+Also, although the machines cost $2000, the mach
-Also, although the machines cost $2000, the machines are made in outright sweatshops, and often, the machine will need to be sent back numerous times, due to various problems, until you are forced to buy a new one. This is a form of Steve Jobs manipulation.
+In summary, Apple products represent precisely what '''''you don't want to be''''' either in mind, body, or spirit. Avoid all traces of this evil in your otherwise rewarding journey through life and never forget to enjoy the occasional chuckle at the expense of the typical Apple dweeb in your neighborhood. #dedede;|font-weight: bold;
+|<center>''' The truth about Mac users '''</cente
-In summary, Apple products represent precisely what '''''you don't want to be''''' either in mind, body, or spirit. Avoid all traces of this evil in your otherwise rewarding journey through life and never forget to enjoy the occasional chuckle at the expense of the typical Apple dweeb in your neighborhood.
+* Run for a minute without resembline of this happening.
-<center>{{frame|{{fv|maccritvids|background-color: #dedede;|font-weight: bold;
-|<center>''' The truth about Mac users '''</center><br/><youtube>IXKlHooroww</youtube>
-|<center>''' Mac Gets Served '''</center><br/><youtube>8h1VQBfLDLA</youtube>
-|<center>''' Crash Different '''</center><br/><youtube>8H2_E_cAyoM</youtube>
-|<center>''' Typical Mac Faggotry '''</center><br/><youtube>A5rnF6xH2iY</youtube>
-|<center>''' PC tells the truth '''</center><br/><youtube>hIrBkgS4E1k</youtube>
-}}|border=#dedede|background=#dedede}}</center>
-== DRM ==
-{{achtung|This section is entirely true, so pay attention, asshole.}}
-Steve Jobs has said that Apple is against [[DRM]], but this is complete and total bullshit because everyone who isn't [[retarded|retarted]] knows that DRM will help Apple sell millions of iPods, even though in the future they will only be associated with homosexuals. If you haven't put this together yourself then allow me to do it for [[you]]. DRM means that once a [[idiot|consumer]] purchases music off iTunes, he (we omit the ''she'' because women are supposed to be in the kitchen making dinner while the men are out fucking with [[16 year old girls|hot chicks]] who are totally [[asking for it]]) will only be able to listen to that music on his iPod and in iTunes. '''OH SHIT, MY IPOD BROKE''' -- Ha. Good luck with that. Guess what? You fucked yourself. That's right. That [[Dragonforce]] that you purchased on iTunes only works on iTunes. The latest iPod looks gay so you decide you want a [[Zune]]. After plugging it in you try to put the music you purchased on iTunes onto the Zune. You get so angry you have sex with a couple of the [[goatse|goats]] that you keep in your mom's basement, punch out your parole officer and cut your dick off in a morphine-induced high. As a result of the protection, you have to [[stupid|buy another iPod]] to listen to your [[9,000]] dollars worth of music. Apple argues that it doesn't sell DRM-free music because of the record companies. However, this is a lie because all the same music can be bought without DRM on Amazon MP3.
-Although, even though it still sucks, if you burn your music onto CDs, you can re-upload the music for other formats. (Don't tell anyone I told you this. Its a secret. SHHHH)
-'''THUS: APPLE MAKES MONEY OFF [[stupid|YOUR STUPIDITY]].'''
-Since anyone with half a brain could figure out how to get music without paying for it by using sites such as Playlist.com, and anyone with half a brain wouldn't buy an iPod, there's no reason why anyone with half a brain would want to use iTunes.  However, if one does elect to actually buy a song off iTunes, one will receive the song in a proprietary format, making it useless--and a waste of money--if they want to use the song with anything other than iTunes or their iPod.  However, this can be circumvented by using iTunes to burn the song to a CD, then reinserting the CD into the computer and then ripping the song as a WAV or MP3 using Windows Media Player.
-Hell, you want to go crazy? [http://www.mgtek.com/dopisp/ Download MGTEK Dopisp.] OR [http://www.mediamonkey.com MediaMonkey] OR [[http://winamp.com Winamp]].  You'll be able to sync your iPod to Windows Media Player, and allows you to put whatever the fuck you want on there regardless of what's on your shitty iPod right now. It won't overwrite or delete anything unless you manually do so (PROTIP: To keep using it after the 30 day trial, uninstall it and clean out the remaining registry entries with a program like [http://www.ccleaner.com/ CCleaner.], or it won't let you use reinstall and use it again without paying for it. Finding a good serial key/crack is a bitch right now.)
-=== Adobe Flash ===
-Apple and [[Adobe]] have recently divorced each other. It all started when [[Steve Jobs]] [[iPhone|decided]] Apple was too [[gay|cool]] for [[Flash]]. Some random guy (apparently Steve Jobs) recently released a lulzy, butthurt report on [[bullshit|why Apple shouldn't]] use Flash in its mobile devices. [http://www.apple.com/hotnews/thoughts-on-flash/ BAWW]
-== Things You'll Never See A Mac Do ==
-[[File:Macfagswinfagslinuxfags.jpg|thumb|Avoid the debates. This sums up everything in one picture.]]
-[[Image:Jobs-Wales.jpg|thumb|Wikipedia on the iPhone 4]]
-* Be inexpensive.
-* Have ads that aren't annoying or insulting.
-* Have users who aren't uptight douchebags.
-* Have programs that "Just Work."
-* Play any game besides ''[[BOLO]]'' <s>and [[Chess]].</s> <b>Chess doesn't count bitches.</b>
-* Last for even a week without requiring extensive repair.
-* Update existing software (because there never was any to begin with).
-* Load accounts.
-* Load websites.
-* Take less than 100 years to get online.
-* Stay online for more than .0003 nanoseconds.
-* Load files.
-* Compute.
-* Run for a minute without overheating.
-* Be plugged in without blowing every fuse in your house.
-* Do anything even remotely resembling the normal functions of a computer.
-* Be able to function as anything except a clunky, hideously ugly, $3,000 paperweight.
-* Think of something you want it to do, then substitute here.
-* Become heterosexual, there's no chance of this happening.
 * Have repairs that cost under $100
 * Have owners who know how to turn it on and off without being told how to do so
-* Close a program with one button
+* Close a program with one bn't have a lowercase "i" at the beginning. e.g. iPhone, iMac, iMovie, iCock, iDiot, iHomo, etc.
-*Have any programs that doesn't have a lowercase "i" at the beginning. e.g. iPhone, iMac, iMovie, iCock, iDiot, iHomo, etc.
-== Apple in Popular Culture ==
+== Apple in Popular Culture ured in most TV shows and movies in place of regular computers - this is because the props departments can pick them up at an outrageous price from any liberal arts college, organic food store, or Starbucks.
-Unfortunately, Macs are featured in most TV shows and movies in place of regular computers - this is because the props departments can pick them up at an outrageous price from any liberal arts college, organic food store, or Starbucks.
 *Apple Macs were the high tech backbone of Jurassic Park's security system.  However, due to a large amount of [[fail]], [[lulz]] ensued.
-*The Apple Newton was used by Vin Diesel in ''Under Siege IV: The Revenge'', where he helped defend a hijacked passenger space shuttle from rebel [[nigra]]s. However, due to a large amount of fail, [[lulz]] ensued.
+*The Apple Newton was used by large amounus killer computer in the movie ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' ran on Mac [[Windows|OSX]], proving that Macs can be just as evil, if not more, than Microsoft PCs.
-*A Macintosh Performa 600 was used in the movie ''Blank Check''. Counterfeiters, take note: if it worked in a Disney movie in 1994, it will probably still work today.
-*iMacs were used in the movie [[Will_Smith|''i, Robot'']] (note the product endorsement) to program "intelligent" robot beings who would later [[rape]] the humans for their blood and [[Profit|Jew gold]] in a crazy haphazard sort of mix up similar to what will happen to Apple in the coming years.
-*In the movie ''Sneakers'', Robert Redford [[Hacker|h4xxor3d]] the CIA using a Mac Classic. However, they [[V&|got]] him when he was caught playing ''[[Oregon Trail]]''. [[Lulz]] ensued.
-*After David Koresh and the Branch Davidians were pwn3d by the ATF, [[CSI]] showed that they were caught by surprise [[fapping]] off to [[porn]] on Macs. [[Lulz]] ensued.
-*In the movie ''Independence Day'' [[Jeff Goldblum]] used an iBook to upload a [[Virus|Laughing Skull Virus]] to the alien mainframe, causing them to be easily defeated. The death of the [[Canadians|aliens]] allowed the future of mankind and [[lulz]] to continue.
-*[[Over 9000|HAL 9000]], the infamous killer computer in the movie ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' ran on Mac [[Windows|OSX]], proving that Macs can be just as evil, if not more, than Microsoft PCs.
 *In ''Robocop 2'', the bad robot, [[John McCain|Cain (which had a brain from a drug-addict)]], runs on Mac OS, while Robocop runs on good old MS-DOS.
 *A woman is shown using a Mac in ''The Net'', and is shown doing a [[Irony|virus scan]] at the start of the film, then gets her [[IRL]] identity changed by hackers because of her being a [[whore]].
@@ Line 207: / Line 83: @@
 ==Apple Switch Ad Campaign==
 [[Image:Switch_ad.jpg|thumb|Switcher]]
-''Switch'' was an [[advertising|ad]] campaign launched by [[Apple|Apple Computer]] on June 10, [[2002]]. It featured what the company referred to as [[faggots|"real people"]] who had "switched" from the [[Awesome|Microsoft Windows]] platform to the [[Shit|Mac]]. Rather than show any redeeming qualities (there are none), they showed how down and cool they were with the average [[idiot|user]].
+''Switch'' was an [[advertising|ad]] campaign launched by [[Apple|Apple Computer]] on June 10, [[2002]]. It featured what the company referred to as [[faggots|"real people"]] who had "switched" from the [[Awesome|Microsoft Windows]] platform to the [[Shit|Mac]]. Rather than show any redeeming qualities (there are none), they showed how down a
-An international [[television]] and print ad campaign directed users to a [[website]] where various [[myth]]s about the Mac platform were dispersed.
-One of the people who appeared in the commercials, [[Ellen Feiss]], gained immense popularity overnight in what might be called an [[Internet phenomenon]].
+The Switch campaign was cancelled as soon as Apple realized that it was causing a [[disease|plague]] of switchers to descend upon the formerly [[indiefucks|close-knit]] Mac communityxamplend cool they were with the average [[idiot|user]].
+An international [[television]] and print ad.
-The Switch campaign was cancelled as soon as Apple realized that it was causing a [[disease|plague]] of switchers to descend upon the formerly [[indiefucks|close-knit]] Mac community.
 ==Apple Advocation==
@@ Line 225: / Line 99: @@
       It's like saying a male prostitute or man whore is more expensive than buying a dildo.
       It's simply because one is gayer than the other. The name is more dickliscious;
-      it pretty much brings all the boys to the yard. Another example is the gay bar. The Mac
+      it pretty much brings all the boys to the yard. Another e campaign directed users to a [[website]] where various [[myth]]s about the Mac platform were dispersed.
+One of the people who appeared in the commercials, [[Ellen Feiss]], gained immense popularity overnight in what might be called an [[Internet phenomenon]]. is the gay bar. The Mac
       is the ancient cock society whereas the standard PC is the modern blue oyster that anybody
       can get into if they suck some dick. Ok so you can't get Apple. Fair enough, not everyone
@@ Line 249: / Line 125: @@
 == Gallery ==
-{{cg|Galleria de MacTard|AppleGallery|center|<gallery>
+{{cg|Galleria de MacTard|AppleGallery|center|<gallery>tting [[buttsecks|boned]]!
+Image:ifail.jpg|What [[Steve Jobs]] is reduced to after Windows.
+</gallery>|<gallery>t of fail, [[lulz]] ensued.
+*A Macintosh Performa 600 was used in the movie ''Blank Check''. Counterfeiters, take note: if it worked in a Disney movie in 1994, it will probably still work today.
+*iMacs were used in the movied [[Profit|Jew gold]] in a crazy haphazard sort of mix up similar to what will happen to Apple in the coming years.
+*In the movie ''Sneakers'', Robe [[Jeff Goldblum]] used an iBook to upload a [[Virus|Laughing Skull Virus]] to the alien mainframe, causing them to be easily defeated. The death of th
+*In the movie ''Independence Day''e [[Canadians|aliens]] allowed the future of mankind and [[lulz]] to continue.
+*[[Over 9000|HAL 9000]], the infamo
 Image:Macsuckshereletmeshowyou.png|Mac users get [[pwnt|boned]] again.
 Image:EDApplebootlogo.png|What the apple logo should look like.
-Image:Macfag_Test.jpg|It doesn't matter, Mac users like getting [[buttsecks|boned]]!
+Image:Macfag_Test.jpg|It doesn't matter, Mac users like ge
-Image:ifail.jpg|What [[Steve Jobs]] is reduced to after Windows.
+Image:Goatsemac.jpg|[[Goatse Security]] hack.ity
-</gallery>|<gallery>
-Image:Goatsemac.jpg|[[Goatse Security]] hack.
-Image:N1642560406_93935_9775.jpg|[[GG Allin|Jesus]] uses a Mac.
-Image:Winners_use_macs.jpg|A [[emo|common]] Apple user [[cutting|showing]] her [[in the ass|appreciation]] to the company.
-Image:1991-powerbook100.jpg|The New Macbook Air. Note the superior monochromatic screen.
-Image: STEVE XZIBIT2.jpg| Xzibit replaced Steve Jobs.
-Image:Pc vs mac diagram.jpg|Simple diagram explaining Mac vs. PC.
-Image:Mac_user_graph.jpg|Mac usage vs. homosexuality
 Image:macanalysis.jpg|Cool new features that Apple won't shut up about.
 Image:Kevinrosemacbook.jpg|Mac user poster-boy, [[Kevin Rose]].
@@ Line 267: / Line 142: @@
 Image:Typical_Apple_employee.jpg|All Apple employees are more creative, artistic, and fuckable than you. See also: [[Freddie Mercury]].
 Image:Mac_pc.jpg|Looks can be decieving.
+Image:N1642560406_93935_9775.jpg|[[GG Allin|Jesus]] uses a Mac.
+Image:Winners_use_macs.jpg|A [[emo|common]] Apple user [[cutting|showing]] her [[in the ass|appreciation]] to the company.
+Image:1991-powerbook100.jpg|The New Macbook Air. Note the superior monochromatic screen.
+Image: STEVE XZIBIT2.jpg| Xzibit replaced Steve Jobs.
 Image:Secks6.jpg|Typical Mac user.
 Image:Pc_vs_mac_headshot.jpg
@@ Line 272: / Line 151: @@
 Image:Minidesktop.jpg|Famous quote from Steve Jobs' announcement of [[Intel]] adoption.
 Image:Black_macs.jpg|[[Black people]] don't use Macs.
-Image:Headinabox.jpg|Bring me the head of [[Steve Jobs]]!
+Image:Headinabox.jpg|B.jpg|black person with a mac? This must be [[fake]].
-Image:Noobsequlzlulz23.jpg|Noobs on [[Jewtube]] arguing.
-Image:Nigga with a mac.jpg|black person with a mac? This must be [[fake]].
 Image:Stupid_shit.jpg|Even [[Ctrl_alt_del|Tim]] hates Mac and their ads.
 Image:Apple powns pc Bootcamp.png|Buying a Mac so you can run [[Wikipedia:Boot Camp (software)|Windows]]? [[Sarcasm|BRILLIANT]]!
 Image:Epic_mac_fail.jpg|Apple makes you [[fat]] and [[gay]], guaranteed.
-Image:Lieks apple.jpg|[[Fail|Pushing its teknology to teh limits.]]
+Image:Lieks apple.jpg|[Fail|Pushing its teknology to teh limits.]]
-Image:Man cutting dick.jpg|Cutting your own [[penis]] off makes your crotch just as feature-less as a mac.
+Image:Man cutting dick.jp|You win teh prize!
-Image:Think different.jpg|Think different.
-Image:Macfanboys.jpg|[[Truth]]
-Image:FFFFFFUUUUUUMAC.jpg|You win teh prize!
 Image:Valvemac-lg.jpg| PCs are like [[TF2]] sentries - they're upgradable, can be built by yourself, it's rugged, etc. On the other hand, Macs are like [[Portal]] sentries - [http://www.apple.com/accessibility/voiceover/| they can talk] and piss off everything that moves.  Fucking great.
 Image:Downloadtheinternet.JPG|We've all wondered this at one point or another
-Image:Mac experience.jpg|An insight into the 'wonderful' mac experience.
+Image:Mac experience.jpg|Aneeds a CD drive when you've got a [[lame|kickass]] notebook as [[annorexia|thin]] as [[macbook air|this]]? Oh fuck,just get [[$100 laptop|'''this''']] instead.
-Image:Garfieldwtf.jpg|[[Garfield|Jon]] owns a Mac.
-Image:Macbook hur.PNG|Who needs a CD drive when you've got a [[lame|kickass]] notebook as [[annorexia|thin]] as [[macbook air|this]]? Oh fuck,just get [[$100 laptop|'''this''']] instead.
 Image:Switch_ad2.jpg|[[Ellen Feiss]], switcher. This is how 90s and apathetic you look if you switch to Apple.
-Image:Itunespedo.png|[[Pedophilia|Pedophiles]] love macs because they never pick up [[viruses]] while they look for cp [[limewire|torrents]].
+Image:Itunespedo.png|[[Pedpg|Obama is a faggoty mac. Bush is an aids filled pc.
-Image:Obama mac.jpg|[[Black Jesus|Obama]] owns a Mac.
-Image:Obamamac vs pcbush.jpg|Obama is a faggoty mac. Bush is an aids filled pc.
 Image:SnowLeopardX.jpg|Typical [[Alison|Apple employee]] shits her pants in excitement for the newest OS X service pack release.
 Image:Apple 1.jpg|This was made by Apple,[[lie|it must be good]]!
@@ Line 304: / Line 174: @@
 File:Apple Turbocharge.png|Print this out and glue to the walls of your college canteen for epic [[IRL trolling]].
 File:Cut video card.jpg|Not being upgradeable keeps computer illiterate mactards from fucking up their own shit.
-File:Power-macintosh-7200.jpg|A long time ago, Macs used to be beige, looked a lot like PCs and could often outperform them. Unfortunately, since they didn't come in a shiny, hipster-pandering case, they [[fail|failed]] in the marketplace.
+File:Power-macintosh-720JobsDolan.jpg
-Image:EdAppleGalleryYoDawgSquareWheelzBike.jpg
-Image:EdAppleGalleryObamaVsHipsters.jpg
-Image:EDAppleGallerySteveRimJobsDolan.jpg
 </gallery>|0}}
@@ Line 314: / Line 181: @@
 *[[iPad]]
 *[[iPod]]
-*[[iphone|iPhone]]
+*[[ipX]]
-*[[lie|iTV]]
-*[[iWoz]]
-*[[PowerBook]]
-*[[MacBook Air|MacBook Fail]]
-*[[Mac OS X]]
 *[[Safari Exploit]]
 *[[Fleshlight|iVag]]
@@ Line 325: / Line 187: @@
 == See Also ==
-*[[Rimjob]]
+Lulz, balanking in progrez, trololo
-*[[BOLO]] ''The only game to ever be released on a Mac.''
-*[[Communism]] ''Macs are communist because they dont allow competition; All Macs are made by apple.''
-*[[Ellen Feiss]] ''Official Spokesperson.''
-*[[Linux]]
-*[[Unwarranted_Self-Importance]]
-*[[Lowter]] ''Typical Mac Propaganda.''
-*[[Mac OS]]
-*[[MacRumors]]
-*[[Microsuck]]
-*[[Computer|PC]] -Hated furiously by Mac users
-*[[Steve Jobs]]
-*[[Steve Wozniac]]
-*[[Superpower]]: [[Reality Distortion Field]]
-*[[Windows]]
-*[[OSx86]]
-== External ==
-* [http://www.yfsgt.com You Fags Sure Got Told: Applefags getting told]
-* [http://www.forgetthebox.net/mag/culture/forum-m/macs-ipods-ipads-iphones-%E2%80%93-irefuse-to-conform.php Macs, iPods, iPads, iPhones -- iRefuse to Conform]
-* [[Maddox]]'s [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cant stance on Apple]
-* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uC4TDxumWI - How to hack into a Mac
-* [http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-hate-Apple/51127772446 I hate Apple Failbook Group]
-* [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18885458821 iHate Mac Smuggery Failbook Group]
-* [http://andimapc.com/ Make your own Mac vs. PC!]
-* [http://www.apple.com/switch/ Apple's Switch website]
-** [http://www.apple.com/pr/library/2002/jun/10switch.html Press Release from the launch of the Switch campaign]
-* {{ljuser|user=mymacsucks}}
-*[http://arstechnica.com/microsoft/news/2009/09/microsoft-helps-best-buy-employees-troll-mac-users-too.ars Microsoft helps bestbuy troll mac users]
-* [http://www.mac-how.net Mac How]
-*[http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=194601 If this doesnt make you rage nothing will]
-http://www.quickpwn.com/2010/06/leaked-iphone-4-and-ios4-secrets.html/ APPLE JUST BECAME THE FINAL BOSS OF THE IPHONE. NOW THOSE BASTARDS CAN TRACK EVERYTHING YOU DO. DELETE YOUR FAP FOLDER.
-[[File:Steve_jobs_wants_your_porn.JPG |http://gawker.com/5539717/steve-jobs-offers-world-freedom-from-porn]]
-*[http://quocomputer.com/ '''DONT BE A FAGGOT''' Get your high-end PC with OSX installed here. ]
-{{Business}}
-{{Softwarez}}
-{{Timeline|Featured article September 27, [[2006]]|[[The Matrix]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Bill Gates]]}}
-[[category:communicae]]
-[[category:Memes]]
-[[category:Softwarez]]

Apple: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 21:47, 17 June 2011

Navigation menu

Search