|
|
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| {{Welfare}}
| |
| <br>
| |
| {{Chrischanbar}}
| |
|
| |
|
|
| |
| <div align="center">
| |
| <table style="width:50%; border: 2px dotted #2e1917;">
| |
| <tr><th>
| |
| </th><td>[[File:Revan_srs.png|80px]]</td><td><font size=3 color=#803e37>This article has been '''cleaned up''', and it was a trip to '''''hell and back'''''.
| |
| Please, don't fuck it up.</font>
| |
| </td></tr></table>
| |
| </div>
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:I Am Not IAN BRANDON SOMETHING.gif|thumb|left|150px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsyhCUYJoI8 IAN BRANDON SOMETHING!!!]]]
| |
| [[File:WantMan.jpg|thumb|150px|Fun Fact: [[Homo|He actually dresses like this in public.]]]]
| |
| [[Image:Scarychris.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Fun Fact: [[facepalm|He actually wears that medallion in public.]]]]
| |
| [[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Chris uses this card all the time]]
| |
|
| |
| Behold, ''the'' mistake of God: '''Christian Weston Chandler.'''
| |
|
| |
| Born February 24, 1982, Christian is a [[stupid|naïve]], [[Pervert|perverse]], [[Fat|overweight]], [[racist]], [[Pedobear|pedophilic]], [[God hates fags|homophobic]], self-proclaimed [[aspie]] [[virgin]] and creator of his own [[Cool story bro|skillfully-drawn]] series of comics starring [[Penis|Sonichu]] - his supremely [[Retarded|insightful]] [[Rape|crossover]] of [[Gay|Pikachu]] and [[Retard|Sonic]]. As well as "suffering" from autism, Chris also suffers from a terminal case of [[unwarranted self-importance]], the only cure for which would be to remove his head from his consequently [[goatse|gaping]] ass. At the time of this writing, Chris has found neither the time nor the conviction to do so.
| |
|
| |
| Other names for Chris-Chan include: CWC, クリスちゃん, Mexican Weston Chandler, [[Ian]] [[Brandon]] Anderson, Ian Brannon Something, The Impostor, [[:Image:Sammyandchrisfromcomics.png|Sammy]], or any other lulzy names trolls can make up for him, which will make him [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsyhCUYJoI8 throw a tantrum].
| |
|
| |
| The most notable physical characteristic of Chris, beyond the obvious corpulence, is that he wears a [[Fag|medallion]] made out of crayola [[Fuckin Magnets|FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]] and acrylic paint ''at all times'' in homage to his yellow Sonic re-color. '''''In public.''''' As if that weren't lame enough, Chris-chan actually has [[over 9000|a shitload]] of medallions: The [[racist|blachu]], and the [[Whore|"Rosechu" medallion]] ([[unrealistic expectations|which he planned on giving to his sweetheart]]), suggesting that he has ''far'' [[Unemployed|too much free time on his hands]]. Which, of course, he does, because [[b|who the fuck would sit around on their fat ass all day coloring-in comic book pages if they had anything better to do with their lives?]]
| |
|
| |
| Christian's hobbies once included creating ''[[My Little Pony]]'' figures, including himself as a pony wearing a Sonichu medallion, [[Chris-chan/Megan_Saga|stalking women at the mall]], finding a "boyfriend-free girl" to "[[rape|make into a Sweetheart from the ground-up]]", drawing (and actually uploading) pictures of himself having [[:Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|sex with multiple, racially diverse women]], [[gay|drawing porn of his hedgehogs]], [[DO NOT WANT|taking naked pictures of himself]], and sexing up a blow-up doll named [[:Image:Julandron.jpg|JULAY]](which was originally sold as "Kimmi"). Now all he does is play [[PS3]] all day and stuff vegetables and fast food down his throat.
| |
|
| |
| He also got into big trouble when his father walked in on him while he was [[masturbation|masturbating]]. Chris really needs to grow up and sell his toys on [[eBay]]. However, no one will buy his shit, so a girlfriend-free [[faggot]] he remains forever more.
| |
|
| |
| But it gets far worse, my friends...
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
|
| |
| ==Dox==
| |
| Indeed, the fat, stupid prick decided to [[dox]] himself. For the record, his address is
| |
|
| |
| ''14 Branchland Court<br>Ruckersville, VA 22968<br>United States''
| |
|
| |
| Chris has doxed himself in many of his videos, usually when trying to prove his identity, or to get trolls to come to him and [[lol|fight him in real life]].
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| Btw check out the tour video of his house, and the complete aftermath a few months later. When he goes on a rampage about people mirroring the videos of his house. With the appearance of Bob, who is paranoid and pissed off at Chris, worrying if the Green County Health Department saw the videos, that they would condemn their house.
| |
|
| |
| http://blip.tv/notyalproductions/chris-chan-house-tour-follow-up-in-its-entirety-5247131
| |
| ===[[IRL]] Creepiness===
| |
| [[Image:Emochris.jpg|thumb|150px|"CRAWLING IN MY SKIN, THESE WOUNDS- THEY WILL NOT HEE-ALLL"]]
| |
|
| |
| On [[MySpace]], Chris posted his quest for a "boyfriend-free girl" and his stalking tendencies. Unfortunately for him, [[Truth|every woman on the planet appears to have a boyfriend.]] This has led to what Chris dubs "noviophobia" — in Chris's bastardized highschool Spanish interpretation, he inserts "novio" which essentially means boyfriend, before the Greek root phobia, committing a [[facepalm]]-worthy [[portmanteau]] that is almost nonsensical enough to make you forget that of all things in the world, Chris has a paralyzing fear of '''''boyfriends'''''. Chris claims to hate every male besides himself and his father, because they [[BAWWWW|"took all the pretty girls leaving [him] with no one to choose from"]].
| |
|
| |
| <center>
| |
| {{morphquote|ChrisQuotes|text-align:center;border:10px solid #cccccc;width:600px;height:330px;-moz-border-radius:35px;-webkit-border-radius:35px;background-color:eggwhite;padding-top:10px;padding-bottom:10px|font-weight:bold
| |
| |Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, [[Chris-chan/People#Sarah Hammer|Sarah Hammer]], a [[Whore|very pretty girl]], was taken away from me by this [[wtf|Magician]] Jerk, [[Pickup Artist|Wes Iseli]]. At first, I was naive about their relationship. Later on, in [[last thursday|spring of 2003]], I [[Rape|tried to pick up a girl]] in a class I was taking at Piedmont Virginia Community College, but she told me right-off, that SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND! And [[trolled|it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then]]. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia(mentioned above).|Chris-chan spills the beans
| |
| |I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion. | Chris begins his search for a boyfriend-free girl.
| |
| |As for [[Chris-chan/People#Wes_Iseli|Wes]], I [[LOL WUT|blame all of these happenings on him]]. [[Butthurt|If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me,]] [[no|I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today]]. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring [[Fuck|LOVE]] QUEST!|CWC is foiled in his perennial search for companionship
| |
| |[[anti-lulz|Chris Chan is destroyer of slanderous LULZ]]; take that, Encyclopedia Dramatica.|The long-baleeted ''MySpace.com/sonichucwc''}}
| |
| </center>
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:Mary lee walsh pic IRL.JPG|thumb|left|100px|Mary Lee Walsh [[IRL|in real life]].]]
| |
| [[Image:0706-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|100px|[[Chris-chan/People#Megan_Schroeder|Megan]] shows us how
| |
| [[Sarcasm|pleasant an experience it truly is]] being in the presence of [[Chris-chan|Mr. Weston Chandler]]. Note the fear in her eyes.]]
| |
| [[Image:ChrisisNOTGAY.jpg|thumb|100px|Chris is totally [[NOT GAY]]!!!]]
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| He employed his famous "looking for a boyfriend-free girl" sign in two places: the [[Chris-chan/Places#The_Fashion_Square_Mall|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] and [[Chris-chan/Places#Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. The dean, [[Chris-chan/People#Mary_Lee_Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh]], reasonably assumed that Chris was [[Larry Craig|publicly soliciting for sex,]] had the sign destroyed and banned him from the school for a year. Since then, he became obsessed with her and depicts her within his comic as a bald witch with a viking helmet, a pitchfork, a scepter to contain her evil anti-love powers, and occasionally a broomstick.
| |
|
| |
| Chris has also shown his hatred towards Mary on several other occasions. He made a hilarious [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nrvreL3hdc video] asking for fictional character Harvey Dirdban's (not Birdman) assistance to fight "THAT EVIL BITCH MARY LEE WALSH FOREVAR!!1" in a contest for Adult Swim. He also made a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgEQINfsJSM video] of him fighting Mary Lee Walsh as a custom character in ''Soul Calibur III''. Despite his hate for Walsh, he still took the time with his Magic Markers to make [[DO NOT WANT|hideous]] [[porn]] of her. [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/File:MaryWantsIt.jpg You know you want to see it.]
| |
|
| |
| Chris's [[faggotry|Love Quest]] was also foiled by Security Guards of Fashion Square Shopping Center. He was [[partyvan|handcuffed and kicked out]] by [[the man|Jerkops]] ([[I_see_what_you_did_there|half jerk, half cops]]) "for trying to [[Rape|attract]] a Boyfriend-Free Girl".
| |
|
| |
| Christian claims to have started his [[stupid|ill-begotten]] love quest because [[Fritzl|he wants a daughter]] whom he will "dubly" call Crystal Weston Chandler (apparently after the illustrious [[wut|metal]]). He made her in the form of one of his ''[[My Little Pony]]'' figures (from his own pubic hair, mind you), and made a separate file in the game ''Animal Crossing'', and [[wut|played as her]].
| |
|
| |
| The person we know the most about is [[Chris-chan/Megan Saga|Megan Schroeder]] who had a huge influence on the comic and Chris himself. She remarked that the antagonist of one of the ''Sailor Moon'' movies came off as "kind of queer", possibly influencing Chris's [[homophobia]].
| |
|
| |
| One example of the Chris-induced drama is the blog entry where [[Chris-chan/People#Anna_McLerran|a girl]] describes her encounter with Chris as he was [[Stalker|wandering stores in search]] of his true love in late 2004, which can be viewed [[Chris-chan/thecrazypacer|here]].
| |
|
| |
| Chris changes love interests far more frequently than he changes his underwear; [[Some argue|it is speculated]] that he has fallen in "true love" like 50 times.
| |
|
| |
| ===Trolled [[IRL]]===
| |
| [[Troll]]ing of Chris-chan has crossed the OL border into IRL. Whether internet vigilantes are trying to expose him for the psycho stalker he really is or if they [[fap]] to picking on retards, it's uncertain.
| |
|
| |
| *[[Chris-chan/Places#The_GAMe_PLACe|The Game Place]], a store where he volunteered, was soon subject to his antics when [[anon]] took several photos of him. See [[Chris-chan/Quotes#The_Game_Place|here]] for Chris QQing.
| |
|
| |
| *An old classmate of Chris, [[Chris-chan/People#Joshua_Martinez|Joshua Martinez]], did some trolling. Chris knew him from his old school (Joshua and Chris both had [[Special Ed]] together), recently met up with him again and was getting along fine. [[Lie|Apparently, Joshua was very popular with women and had met some famous celebrities.]] For some reason, Chris became extremely jealous and even tried to get ED to go after him. Note that Chris only values Joshua's friendship because he's popular with women, and that by being friends with him he might end up laid. Unfortunately for Chris, even other special education kids will fuck with him. The chick that Joshua was supposed to hook him up with was just Joshua trolling him with a picture of [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. [[Chris-chan/Quotes#Fake_Chick|CLICK HERE]] for Chris-chan unwittingly fapping to Joshua.
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:Cwcnipplecripple.PNG|thumb|150px|Autistic flirting techniques: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl2LUzQYQMM The CWC Nipple Cripple.]]]
| |
|
| |
| *[[Chris-chan/People#Hanna|A girl IRL]] pranked Chris on a fake date. [[Chris-chan/Quotes#Troll_Chick|CLICK HERE]] to see Chris-chan get taken down to 15%.
| |
|
| |
| *Though trolling in this next case started online, it quickly moved into IRL. Chris had started a relationship with an e-girlfriend called [[Chris-chan/People#Blanca_Weiss|Blanca]]. On [[9/11|September 11]], 2008, another troll going by the same name was really a [http://www.myspace.com/kawaiikitsune123 black man in a pickle costume] and managed to score horrific nudes. [[:File:CWCPEEEBUTT.JPG|WARNING: DON'T LOOK AT IT.]]
| |
|
| |
| *[http://rapidshare.com/files/151630154/cumuppence.flv.html Watch Chris masturbate.] No, srsly don't do it. On October 7, 2008, Blanca managed to get the medallions and destroy them.
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
|
| |
| ==CWC vs. ED==
| |
| <center>{{frame|[[Image:CWCAnniversarybanner.jpg|400px]]|border=#192324|background=#192324}}</center>
| |
|
| |
| Upon discovering [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997315032 this article on the 10th of November], Chris suffered a severe case of [[butthurt]] and declared war on every site mocking his [[Bullshit|Truth]] and [[faggotry|Honesty]]. As with everything in his life, Chris fucked up.
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:CWC preview button.JPG|thumb|150px|How do I use preview buttan?]]
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:CWCHTML.JPG|thumb|150px|He took two [[CSIII|HTML classes]]...]]
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:CWCHTML2.JPG|thumb|150px|...and it shows!]]
| |
|
| |
| At first, Chris tried tampering with this article while logged in as [[User:Reldnahc|Reldnahc]] which is obviously "Chandler" (his last name) [[nice try|spelled backwards]]. Before [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|erasing the entire article]], Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.ch/index.php?title=Special:Contributions&limit=500&target=Reldnahc actually contributed] by adding information that he hadn’t submitted anywhere else. Most of his additions were chunks of text from uncited sources which included how [[Chris-chan/Megan Saga|Megan]] [[:Image:Sonichu_heartbroken.jpg|“shattered his heart”]], and printouts of the ''[[Wut|Sonichu News Dash]]'': a shitty newsletter about his comic which he also distributed at [[Chris-chan/Places#Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|PVCC]] that landed him in another apparent conflict with Mary Lee Walsh.
| |
|
| |
| To make matters worse, he also [[facepalm|uploaded Rule 34 of his own characters]]. All of his additions to the article can be found [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997319059 here]
| |
|
| |
| Later, when the context of the article finally dawned on Chris, he [[Crazy|snapped]]. He created another account, [[User:Chris-chan|Chris-chan]], and tried [[BLANKING IN PROGRESS|blanking the page]] several times.
| |
|
| |
| CWC [[Nice try|blames Encyclopedia Dramatica]] for breaking up the relationship between him and Megan despite the fact that [[Truth|she was never his girlfriend]]. Just another lying attempt to make [[Impossible|ED feel guilty about something]].
| |
|
| |
| In this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF9khSBQ44w video], Chris congratulated all his non-existent ''Sonichu'' fans whom he mistakenly believed brought ED down and further urged them not to donate to ED while failing to realize that ED's downtime was due to an issue related to the website as a whole, and not related to any drama around his article.
| |
|
| |
| Chris's plea for his fans to not donate to ED flopped because the only people who pay any attention to Chris are precisely the ones who helped ED reach its donation goal on August 14, 2008.
| |
|
| |
| === CWC vs. ED Parte Deux ===
| |
| [[Last Thursday]], Chrissy posted a video onto the tubes declaring yet another war against his ED page, demanding that the [[Delete Fucking Everything|page and discussion page be deleted]], or else he wouldn't be making any more of his sweet, sweet comics for his fans to [[fap|enjoy]]. He then stated that much like the old adage: "Too many [[cocks|cooks]] spoil the [[cum|broth]]", ED had too many [[I see what you did there|CROOKS]]. And that "every single word on his ED page [[lol wut|was a crook]]".
| |
|
| |
| After standing in an anime pose with his fist in the air, Chris then hulked the fuck out and proceeded to [[awesome|beat the shit out of]] a Raggedy Ann doll with a picture of [[Shit was so cash|Clyde Cash]] taped to its face, and that more RAAAAAAAGE would follow if his ED page wasn't [[Unrealistic Expectations|taken down posthaste]].
| |
|
| |
| The [[Cock|beast]] can be unleashed [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X02mQycxqSw here].
| |
|
| |
| ==CWCville==
| |
| [[Image:Chris-Chan-BABYGOTBACK.jpg|thumb|100px|right|Baby got Back!]]
| |
|
| |
| '''CWCville''' (Pronounced: Quick-ville) is Chris-chan's imaginary world. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a way similar to the [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ Democratic People's Republic of Korea].
| |
|
| |
| CWCville is actually two things: a fictional setting for the [[Chris-chan/Sonichu|''Sonichu'' comic]], and Chris's long-ongoing pet project - many might call it a "happy place" and an imaginary refuge from the harsh reality. The two things overlap very much. It's sort of like his own personal Silent Hill - except that instead of being a twisted Hell full of violent rage and nightmare beasts, it's a disturbingly cheerful place where Chris's bouncy creations laugh, frolic, and [[fuck]] for his amusement exactly like ''Silent Hill''. Characters are introduced without warning and fall by the wayside just as quickly; nobody's quite sure what becomes of them, but knowing Chris it probably involves anguished shrieks emanating from a love dungeon below the Mayor's house.
| |
|
| |
| In the ''Sonichu'' comic book world, the town is allegedly located in the state of [[Virginia]], but being a figment of Chris Chan's imagination, it will never be found on an actual map. Yet, in many ways, it seems the city is legislatively and economically cut off from the rest of Virginia and the United States. In this city, Chris Chan is a despotic mayor, where he controls everything at his own will and dictates new laws, granting him the basis of his megalomaniac tendencies.
| |
|
| |
| Inside the comic, CWCville is at a fierce rivalry with neighboring city of "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens." It is under constant attack from the evil forces of Dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her army of [[cops|Jerkops]].
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
|
| |
| ==Chris-chan and Morals==
| |
| [[Image:Aiko-Chris%27s_New_Bird.jpg|thumb|150px|150px|The sex doll.]]
| |
|
| |
| After seeing a [[shit|hilarious]] episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'', where Chris-chan didn't get that he was being parodied for his [[moralfag|moralfaggotry]], he decided to share his hatred of the gays with the [[Bible|Holy Bible]]. To do this, he quoted the book of [[Dianetics|Leviticus]], which is the biblical equivalent of [[goatse]], which reinforces how men should not engage in [[buttsecks]] lest they be smited to the pits of hell to be raped by [[Satan|the Devil]] and his minions for eternity (and also that men cannot shave, wear underwear with elastic straps, or crossbreed animals). Chris obviously didn't get the joke from the [[shit|funny]] episode. He didn't realize that the character Stewie is just like him in one sense; they are both [[homosexual|closet cases]].
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| {{quote|I'm not saying I'm dumb...or naive.|Chris, in the process of being both.}}
| |
|
| |
| Unbeknownst to Chris, prolific hater of all things not Christian, 89% percent of the users trolling Chris-chan are [[Muslim]]s. In another blow to Chris's moral credibility, [[facepalm|he also decided to pick up a book on how to talk to the opposite sex...written by a 9-year-old boy]]. As the kid wrote it on how to talk to girls of his age, [[Party Van|party vans]] descending on Ruckersville are imminent.
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
| ==[[No|Sex Life]]==
| |
| [[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Chris Hansen]] wants you to have a seat over there, Chris.]]
| |
| [[Image:SonichuPedo.JPG|thumb|left|100px|Stoopid [[loli|child porn]] laws...]]
| |
|
| |
| His "sex life" - if you could even call it that - includes, among other strnag phenomena, [[Dying alone|fucking an anime blow-up doll]] and screaming "''JULAAAY!''" at the top of his lungs.
| |
|
| |
| {{quote|But anyway as I was saying you know, just as you know, when you masturbate, you don't have to use your fingers, you could like, uh, find something that's like, you could use like a banana, or a pickle, I mean, it would be a waste of a fruit, but if you used a banana, [[lolwut|you could still eat the insides]].|Chris-chan|on sticking things up his butthole.}}
| |
|
| |
| Chris wrote to ''[[File:Nintendochris.JPG|Nintendo Power]]'' in April of 2005 to discuss the DS game ''Sprung'': A horrible dating simulator, and was overjoyed to discover that they published his email. According to him, it was a "free personal", and he expects that it being published will somehow [[No|increase his chance of finding a woman]].
| |
|
| |
| In both his videos and comics, he has shown contempt towards gays, constantly rambling on about how homosexuality is bad, and repeatedly stating that he is [[not gay]]. Despite these statements, Chris's sexuality remains questionable, as he owns a [[dildo]] and [[:Image:Anal Beads.jpg|anal beads]] and rambles on about sticking things in his ass while he masturbates. In his list of people he would not date, he lists autistics, high functioning or otherwise. Thus, Chris is also a self-loathing [[faggot|flaming faggot]] trying desperately to stay in the closet. [[Ted Haggard|And we all know homophobes are closeted gays themselves.]]
| |
|
| |
| Chris appears to be stuck in a [[virgin|strange, child-like mentality]] where he feels guilty when discussing sex. Because of this, he is forced to use different words, like "pickle" and "duck" for dick, "[[rape|hanky-panky]]" for sex, "boyfriend-free" for single, among other things. He started buying sex toys and porno videos back in 2006, and when discussing sex with other people (specifically [[Chris-chan/Megan Saga|Megan]] and a recent troll), he goes into intimate, almost scientific or educational detail. When Megan claimed to be [[Friend Zone|uncomfortable with Chris discussing sex]], Chris goes into full detail of how a handjob works and that he has learned everything he knows from pornography.
| |
|
| |
| In recent audio recordings, we have discovered a lot about Chris's sexuality. Namely, he thinks that gender stereotypes, dirty talk, and cheesy lines like, "This might hurt a bit at first" are part of actual sex. One of the audio recordings has him describing his ideal "first time", which is [[Gross|intricate, overly dramatic and mildly retarded]]. This and many other disturbing things can be read [[User:OrangeMarmalade|here]].
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
|
| |
| ==Gallery of Horrors==
| |
| {{:Chris-chan/Chrischangalleries}}
| |
|
| |
| <center><big><big>'''PROTIP'''</big></big>: If [[you]] want to add a picture, go [[Chris-chan/Chrischangalleries|HERE]], and make sure to put it under the '''right section'''.</center>
| |
|
| |
| ==The End of Sonichu?==
| |
| [[Image:Chris-chan self portrait.jpg|thumb|150px|An example of Chris's [[shit|incredible artistic...err, autistic talent]].]]
| |
| In the middle of 2010, Chris announced he was done with Sonichu forevers because the "trolls drained him of creativity." This is odd, because Chris had like no creativity to begin with. In reality, he just didn't care about drawing comics anymore. Many [[retard]]s pine for the days of old-school Chris trolling, where he'd get his bloated ass kicked out of malls, but the thing is is that Chris is so [[lazy]] and drawing comics don't reward him with PSN trophies. His mother also told him to quit drawing the comics of him battling McDonald's managers.
| |
|
| |
| ===August 30th 2010: PS3 Destruction===
| |
|
| |
| Three leaked videos (MovingFoward, MovingFurtherFoward, 100_2209.MOV) have appeared on the internets regarding his "Life Upgrade" (aka his PS3). He accidentally '''DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING''' on his PS3 Harddrive, and so to make a clean break of things, he ran over his PS3 with his car.<BR> (WHAT?! They actually let him drive a car?!)
| |
| Sadly, this new direction in his life didn't last. He immediately went into withdrawal and spent his welfare money on a NEW PS3.
| |
|
| |
| ===September 6th 2010===
| |
|
| |
| Chrissy posted a new video on Sept 6th, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHwcgzAT5KY which can be viewed here.] In it he informs us he is very much [[Osama|not dead]], and infact [[Lie|alive, healthy and well]]. He also notifies us that [[Lie|he hasn't dug up Patti.]] [[John Wayne Gacy|Even if that is true, poor Patti will no doubt be dug up from under his porch sometime soon, as Chris cannot sleep at night knowing there is an animal corpse nearby he hasn't violated]]. He then rambles incoherently about how the trolls blow [[Cock|smoke]], [[ALL CAPS|NO ONE IS GONNA LISTEN TO IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!]]. But hey, guess what? [[Lie|He is gonna regain control of his life and ignore the trolls,]] so they can't [[Masturbate|play with him any more]]. His final message? [[Haters gonna hate]], plus an [[no|awesome]] [[Lolwut|string twirl]].
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
|
| |
| ==Really, Really Gross Videos==
| |
| [[File:Cbrown_kirby.jpg|thumb|150px|Recent Chris-chan convert, [[Chris Brown]].]]
| |
| *[http://www.slutload.com/watch/M20g7MWCNa5/Chris-chan-Fanta-and-Cum.html Chris drinks his jizz for Ivy!]
| |
| *[http://www.mediafire.com/?9zgntjn3tl5 Spank dat ass!]
| |
| *[http://www.slutload.com/watch/BiQqrpqIPub/Chris-chan-takes-a-Shower.html Chrissy in the shower!] (Filmed on location at [[Saw|Jigsaws]] place.)
| |
| *[http://www.slutload.com/watch/7hZAzJutuSx/Chris-chan-completely-different.html Chris goes insane nude]
| |
| *[http://www.mediafire.com/?d412jzmv2jx/ Chris makes love to his video game console!]
| |
| *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSWVY5gU_GU&feature=feedu/ Chris reveals his feminine side!]
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
|
| |
| ==2010 Endeavors==
| |
| [[File:Chris Chan acne forehead.jpg|right|thumb|Chris trying to look sexy for his school reunion.]]
| |
| [[image:Chris'_ad_against_trolls.jpg|left|thumb|[[BRILLIANT!]]]]
| |
| As of August 27, 2010, Chris is [[butthurt|butthurt]] that his class of 2000 has yet to have a reunion, because at prom a movie said "See you in 10 years". Chris believes the school by law has to host a reunion. Most likely his class has seen his videos and has had the reunion and not invited his fat ass, or thought he was dead. It also appears he may be balding.
| |
|
| |
| Chris has stepped up his war against trolls with a new [[shit|masterpiece]].
| |
|
| |
| He advises [[aspies|people]] to turn them in at their work place and [[all_caps|DEMANDS THEY BE FIRED!]] Or turn them in to the police. He mentions that God will smite the trolls.
| |
|
| |
| As of November 22, it appears Chris has again gotten [[butthurt|butthurt]] at not having friends on FriendFace and has quit the internet forever. Time will tell.
| |
| {{clear}}
| |
|
| |
| ==UPDATE!==
| |
| <center>
| |
| <youtube>R0vZbqptRwc</youtube>
| |
| <youtube>WSWVY5gU_GU</youtube>
| |
| </center>
| |
|
| |
| ==See Also==
| |
| [[Image:Homobad.JPG|thumb|150px|right|Chris wearing his mother's undergarments.]]
| |
| [[Image:Cwc-gormley.gif|150px|thumb|[[Mark Gormley|Gormley]]-Chan]]
| |
| *[[Aspierations]]
| |
| *[[Aeverine Nieves]] - Chris-chan's [[tranny]] counterpart
| |
| *[[Desperate]]
| |
| *[[Prince Jeremy]]
| |
| *[[Spax3]]
| |
| *[[Victim complex]]
| |
| *[[Fat]]
| |
| *[[Retarded]]
| |
| *[[Pathetic]]
| |
| *[[Virgin]]
| |
| *[[Dying Alone]]
| |
| *[[The Real Chris Chan]]
| |
| *[[Chris-Chan/Psychological_Report]]
| |
| *[[Taking Down ED]]
| |
| *[[MysticArk]]
| |
| *[[Tooner14]]
| |
| *[[Ickeriss69]]
| |
| *[[David Tanny]]
| |
| <big>Other Notable Retards with Sonic Recolors</big>
| |
| <br />
| |
| *[[Blazesonic]]
| |
| *[[Chasethehedgehog]]
| |
| *[[Spax3]]
| |
| *[[sonicxkids]] hates Gary Oak =(
| |
| *[[Sonmanic]] (doesn't have a recolor, but still laff-worthy none the less)
| |
| *[[Ulrichthehedgehog]]
| |
| *[[Louisthehedgehog]] (same as Sonmanic)
| |
|
| |
| ==Links==
| |
| [http://www.sonichu.com] (wiki all about the big C)
| |
| <big>'''PROTIP''':</big> If [[you]] wish to add a link, go here: [[Template:Chrischanlinks]].
| |
|
| |
| {{Chrischanlinks}}
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| {{Timeline|Featured article August 5, [[2008]]|[[YouTube View Fraud]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Madeleine McCann]]}}
| |
| {{Timeline|Featured article August 11, [[2008]]|[[Al Gore]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[South Ossetia]]}}
| |
| {{Timeline|Featured article April 1, [[2009]]|[[Girugamesh]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Goodnight Sweet Prince]]}}
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| [[Category:People]]
| |
| [[Category:Events]]
| |
| [[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
| |
| [[Category:2007]]
| |
| [[Category:2008]]
| |
| [[Category:2009]]
| |
| [[Category:2010]]
| |
