Angry Birds

Concept art for gameplay

Angry Birds IRL

Angry Birds is a shit game for your various mobile devices that, for some unknown reason, caused a shitstorm that shook the entire world of Macs. 16-year-old girls are the ones who love this game so much because "ZOMG it's so freakin' addicting!!!1!". Somehow or another, this app became the most popular evar with millions of fanboys.

The Game Itself

The "Story"

Be prepared to be confused as fuck. The story begins with green pigs who, because they obviously can't cook themselves for yummy BLTs, the queen pig said, "Let's eat eggs!" All the other pigs were too retarded to realize how defensive birds are with their eggs and said "Do it faggot!" So the pigs steal some eggs. Then, the shit hits the fan when the birds convert to super-rage mode and bomb the shit out of them with their bodies. Why they don't reuse the dead bodies is stupid, but hey;, they're just fucking birds. Eventually, the birds win, but the pigs don't die, even when they get blown the fuck up. Then, the pigs steal the eggs again using some convoluted Wile E. Coyote scheme because they are goddamn birds. Thus, the story is shit and confusing.

Gameplay

This is a bit more simple. You have a slingshot and you have to kill the pigs with birds fired from said slingshot. However, this is too easy. The pigs had a shit-ton of wood left over from God-knows-what, so they built over 9000 fortresses and, just like Darwin said, the bird evolved to kill pigs. However, this is shit because these birds have lost the ability to fly, perhaps because they have no wings and are as round as yo momma.

The specific bird types are:

• Regular Bird: It can't do shit, obviously.
• Multi-Bird: An asexual fucker that breeds super fast and splits into 3, but still can't do shit.
• Fast Bird: Like you, it's high on meth and heroin. Flies fast, but even it still can't do shit.
• Bomb Bird: Similar to sandies, these birds suicide bomb the place and thus, actually CAN do shit.
• Bomber Bird: The Bomb Bird's pussy of a cousin, who lays eggs that do minor shit.
• Boomerang Bird: An Australian bird that, surprise, can't do shit.
• Fat Bird: Dude's fat and will gang rape the entire screen.

Trolling

There is no possible way to troll the game itself, for the game is a troll. It will present before you a seemingly impossible level, which will consume up to 10 minutes (and hopefully ONLY that much time). This is because there is always one, tiny, pussy of a pig that will hide and then laugh at you when you fail. Then, after completely giving up, you look at an online walkthrough and think, "Oh God, I'm a retard for not doing that in the first place!" But even the walkthrough doesn't stop you from failing and the pigs resume laughing at you with their troll faces on.

Although the game can't be trolled, it's easy as hell to troll its fanboys. Just say "the x bird sucks" and/or "Angry Birds is a shameless and blatant rip-off of Boom Blox" and watch the hate roll in. Its not much different that most other forms of fanboism.

You can also troll the Angry Birds forums (http://www.angrybirdsnest.com/forum/), as they are not usually trolled.

Merchandise

The company that shat out the game one day had a brilliant idea: "Let's get more fucking money!" And so, Angry Birds plush toys and T-shirts were born.

Fun fact: many T-shirts rape the Internet even more by putting "Om Nom Nom" on them.

See Also

Farmville - Another terrible game that caused a shitstorm

The Official Website

Buy their shit

Play it here for free, if you dont want to pay 99 cents, you Jew

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