|
|
| Line 5: |
Line 5: |
|
| |
|
| ==Concept== | | ==Concept== |
| [[Image:Dogboards.png|thumb|How to tell if you're a [[loser]].]]
| |
|
| |
| Like most [[virgin|social retards]] who play [[MMO|online games]], [[losers|players]] dedicate their waking hours to feverishly improving their virtual dogs through [[lame|bad-ass]] methods like equipping them with diamond collars and feeding them [[WTF|chocolate chip cookies]], after which they spend the rest of their time clicking through pages of “shows” in a desperate attempt to improve the levels of their [[dog]]s.
| |
|
| |
| Unlike in the [[real world]], where success is measured in tangible artifacts, success on Furry-Paws is measured by how much time you dedicate to sitting on your ass entering dogs in shows and accumulating virtual money. Basically it's for fat fucks with no life.
| |
|
| |
| ==Genres of Failure==
| |
|
| |
| ===Site Owner Kah===
| |
| Kah is the [[ginger]] owner of FP. According to sources, she created and has been maintaining FP since she was [[WTF|14/15]], attended one of the most prestigious public universities named in honor of a [[freemason]] and graduated with a 4.0 gpa at the age when most people JUST started college. Since such powers are usually only wielded by [[mensa]] member [[asians|engineers/programmers]], one can assume she is an [[asspie]]. It turns out the reason why Kah doesn't give a shit about FP anymore isn't the fact that she's in the hospital from being [[fat]] (like 90% of fpians), it's because she's studying to become a [[madagascar|bio-terroist]].
| |
|
| |
| Among the failures of Kah's programming, include not knowing how to put in protection from malicious javascript redirects, not encrypting correctly (according to sources), getting [[DOS]]'d by a [[13 year old boy]] (according to fpm), not putting in protections to block player-written cheat scripts, and having regular downtimes and slow loading. It's no wonder FP is easily breached and hacked.
| |
|
| |
| | |
|
| |
| [[Image:Fpian.png|thumb|left|A visual guide.]]
| |
|
| |
| ===The Average Player===
| |
| [[Image:Doggy style sickfuck.jpg|thumb|right|[[Beastiality|What members do in their spare time.]]]]
| |
|
| |
| [[16 year old girls]] who have no [[IRL]] friends. The average Furry-Paws player weighs upwards of 160lbs, [[asspies|has no social skills whatsoever]], is a [[dyke]] and/or looks like a [[trap|man]]. Additionally, a vast majority of the community is [[furry|a fucking furfag]].
| |
|
| |
| Proud supporters of shitty [[emo]] bands and the [[Democrat]] Party (despite [[idiot|not knowing shit about politics]] [does any Democrat?]), they embrace [[bullshit|feminism]] and think about how [[lame|awesome]] they are for rejecting the [[conservative]] morals of their parents. [[losers|Outcasts]] in the [[real world]], these [[fat]] girls flock the only site that will simultaneously not judge them for being [[fatass]]es but that will also allow them to achieve a spark of [[e-fame]] by doing nothing more than sitting on their asses all day. Unsurprisingly, the main demographic is [[white]], since There are no black people on the Internet. Eventually, the average player will never go anywhere in life, being in the same position (sitting on their asses playing FP) and not having any talent. They will settle down with either a [[fat]] [[basement dweller]] of a spouse or a fellow [[dyke]], work low level jobs so they can spend it on FPP (can't seem to get their priorities straight) and eventually become [[an hero]]s together.
| |
|
| |
| Because they lack any form of social life, the members that do own [[IRL]] dogs develop [[obsession]]s with them in order to placate their longing desire for [[friends]]. Posting daily threads about their pets, they include [[shitty]] [[photography]] of their dogs staring blankly into the camera. As they are incapable of achieving e-popularity in any other way, they resort to whoring their dogs on the forums for [[beastiality|other members to masturbate to]].
| |
|
| |
| {{squote|You are my dog.
| |
| My best friend,
| |
| <br/>I promise for as long as you live I will give you what you need,
| |
| <br/>Just as long as you do they same for me,
| |
| <br/>I will give you love and attention,
| |
| <br/>You will give it back,
| |
| <br/>I love you and care about you.
| |
|
| |
| We do a lot together,
| |
| <br/>Not just a normal dog-human relationship,
| |
| <br/>Something different,
| |
| <br/>You aren't trained,
| |
| <br/>I just can't train you,
| |
| <br/>It's possible, but I can't,
| |
| <br/>We are best friends, and
| |
| <br/>friends don't train friends.
| |
|
| |
| Ok so you chase people down the road,
| |
| <br/>So what, as long as there are no cars,
| |
| <br/>I laugh because you think your bark is big,
| |
| <br/>Sometimes I don't think you're a Pug,
| |
| <br/>I see you as my favorite breed,
| |
| <br/>A Labrador Retriever.
| |
|
| |
| You can swim,
| |
| <br/>You can fetch,
| |
| <br/>You can do awesome tricks,
| |
| <br/>You aren't the best but you're pretty good,
| |
| <br/>There's only one thing you can do better than all dogs,
| |
| <br/>Be my Best Friend.
| |
|
| |
| I LOVE YOU ZOEY.|[[lie|Writing poetry to your dog is totally normal]]}}
| |
| [[Image:Typicalart.jpg|thumb|left|The typical artistic ability of Furry Paws players.]]
| |
|
| |
| ===[[Artist]]s===
| |
| [[Image:DogPee.png|thumb|left|What many Furry-Pawsians call [[disgusting|'cute']].]]Not good enough to obtain any sort of popularity on [[DevianTART]], members resort to trying to achieve a significant amount of popularity within the cesspool of [[shit|artistic failure]] that lays with Furry-Paws’ art community. Wielding the power of [[MSPaint]], they brandish their computer mouse between their [[fat|porky]] fingers and eventually create a heaving conglomerate of something, somewhat, [[lie|maybe a little]] resembling art, but mostly, just [[fail]]. Convinced drawing dogs will get them far in the art world, they attempt to attend [[art school]] thinking a degree is going to help them earn a living but really only getting their income from [[basement dwellers]] who shell out for art for their own [[fail|sim games]].
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:FurryPaws10bucks.png|thumb|right|[[No|It's definitely worth 10 bucks]], [[amirite]]?]]
| |
|
| |
| The few competent artists, possessing knowledge of basic anatomy and design skills, gather a swarm of leeches that [[stalk|e-stalk]] them, hoping for free art or that, magically, their [[skillz|mad skillz]] will rub off on them. These motherfuckers charge USD$ for in-game art, which the masses inhale like cocaine fresh off the plane from Colombia.
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:Wtf_soul_eater.gif|thumb|left|What passes as [[art|realistic]] art on Furry-Paws.]]
| |
|
| |
| ===[[Pedophile|Moderator]]s===
| |
| [[virgin|18+ players]] (unless [[underage b&]] sucks enough [[cock]]) who should be engaging in productive [[IRL]] activities such as: getting a [[job]], hanging out with [[friends]], or having [[life|real lives]] instead of [[obvious|spending upwards of seven hours a day on kiddie sites, banning teens/preteens for doing "naughty things"]]. They are also all [[lesbian]]s (who never actually get any), which explains why they think that a squid looks exactly like a penis. None of them understand the concept of a joke, so consequently, you'll get in trouble for making one. (Not that moderators are even needed, considering '''nothing ever fucking happens''').
| |
|
| |
| Now the search for new moderators has begun! This list consists of people like Dyr or DMG who have been voted off the FP Moderating Island due to being friends with BAD INFLUENCES. The mod staff have decided to encorperate American Idol into their process with the virgins doing their best impression of Simon Cowell.
| |
|
| |
| ===[[Fursona]]s===
| |
| [[Image:FPorgy.jpg|thumb|[[virgin|What <del>they</del> their fursonas engage in in their spare time.]]]]
| |
|
| |
| Because members of Furry Paws hold dear the belief that [[WTF|animals > people]], it’s unsurprising that [[furfaggotry]] runs rampant. Claiming that [[wolfaboo|wolves are their "spirit animal"]] or [[wat|their “true form is a bear”]], they indulge in creating elaborate fursonas for themselves, decorating them with [[shit nobody cares about|every motherfucking minute detail]] they can think of and slapping them in the forums to try and get free fan art. Since they're all so unique and innovative, most of their creations are [[Sparkledogs]].
| |
|
| |
| ===[[Emo|Emo Girls]]===
| |
| In a constant state of [[BAWWWW]] at the fact that not only are they fat and [[ugly]] (and cognizant of the fact that this will result in [[dying alone]]), emo girls lurk the forums to express their [[STFU|melancholic agony of how shitty their lives are]]. Constantly lurking to find any topic wherein the OP expresses an opinion against the status quo of the website (ie, [[Christfags]]), emo girls focus their shitty haircuts and [[rage|fat girl rage]] on anyone that dares to demonstrate a dissenting opinion on topics such as [[homosexual|gay marriage]] or [[fat acceptance]]. Predictably, they all also claim to be [[bisexual]]. Usually wearing [[Skinny Jeans|skinny jeans]] (despite being a fatass) and incompetent at using make-up (heavy dripping black eyeliner), they pretend to have "[[serious business]] issues" such as drug addiction/being in and out of rehab, [[attention whore|mental illness]], and domestic issues despite the fact they're well off enough to have internet and spend their allowances buying [[shit|tags on fp]]. Anytime someone annoys said emo girls, they go on FP to [[BAW|rant]] about it.
| |
|
| |
| <center>Their typical forum post:
| |
| <br/>[[Image:TypicalFPpost.jpg|TypicalFPpost.jpg]]</center>
| |
|
| |
| ===[[Attention Whores]]===
| |
| [[Image:Attnwhoretag.png|thumb|To be a successful attention whore, ensure everyone's forced to look at your face.]]
| |
|
| |
| Thanks to a combination of [[Daddy]] not loving them enough and being too [[fugly]] to be a successful [[Myspace]] whore, the Attention Whores of Furry-Paws post pictures and videos of themselves on regular basis’, occasionally disguising them in a [[faggotry|SHOW URSELF]] thread, but most of the time, just devoting entire topics to [[camwhore|pictures of themselves]]. Thanks to the ironclad rules of [[lie|”play nice”]], no one’s allowed to insinuate the [[ugly|unattractive]] aspects of even the ugliest Attention Whores, leaving the other members to only encourage them by posting positive commentary.
| |
|
| |
| ====The Saga of [[Whore|<s>Tea</s> Hoot]], [[Fatty|Slight]] and [[Pedophile|Mud Puppy]]====
| |
| <s>Tea</s> Hoot is a [[loser|high school drop out]] who is a [[lesbian]], she also lives in [[Australia]]. Slight and Mud Puppy, who both live in [[America]], are her two pussy calls. One month, <s>Tea</s> Hoot will date Slight. After a few weeks of abusing Slight and forcing her to drop all her friends, Tea will dump her ass. The [[drama]] will be taken to the chat room where many [[lulz]] will be had. <s>Tea</s> Hoot will start dating Mud Puppy, but not before Slight starts spewing about how she will [[emo|kill herself]] and how she [[idiot|wants <s>Tea</s> Hoot back]]. Mud Puppy, being the [[idiot]] she is will date <s>Tea</s> Hoot for a few weeks before they, too, break up. Slight will bow down on her [[fat]] knees and beg for [[idiot|<s>Tea</s> Hoot back]], and the cycle will once start again. Let's also not forget that [[Slut|Naff]] (another lesbian dyke that spends her time playing with furfags) seems to enjoy bouncing around between <s>Tea</s> Hoot and Mud Puppy. These bitches just can't get their shit set straight. Way to go <s>Tea</s> Hoot, add more [[Whore|whores]] to your fandom! After MudPuppy went back to <s>Tea</s> Hoot, Naff commenced [[BAWWW|BAWWWING]] to her friends about her [[Trolls_remorse|love life]].
| |
|
| |
| Though <s>Tea</s> Hoot was recently [[LOL|banned]], her cult following seems insistent on keeping her drama on FPs. As quoted by a moderator, "If you want to talk about Tea and praise her in your [[creepy]] [[cult|cult-glory]], do it on [[MSN]]." [[Not|Hooray]] for creepy cults!
| |
|
| |
| <s>Tea</s> Hoot, not being satisfied as a attention whore likes to pretend that she is a [[lie|awesome troll]] to save herself some face. Confirmed on her formspring http://www.formspring.me/putinhatesbush, stating she enjoys trolling fp and probably lied to have her [[idiot|friends]] regard her as "bringing lulz to fp".
| |
|
| |
| ====The Saga of Nazi Dykes: [[Dyke|Sheer]], [[Dyke|Sker]], [[Dyke|Alchemic Reaction]]====
| |
| Sheer, a [[Nazi|skinhead nazi reformist]] who praises,"Seig heil," to the German flag, yet partakes in her fellow dykenes and also belongs to a nazi goth, [[nazi|Sker]], is merely a 13 year old low-life who depends on the company of Alchemic Reaction, another low-life follower of the skinhead reformation, who faps to [[Michael Jackson]] whilst [[BAWWW]]ing over her [[lol|deceased lover]], Billy Mays. These little emo kids enjoy sleeping, fapping, and spending their hours inbetween on the computer trolling the Furry-Paws chat room for some [[12 year old girls|12 year old girls]]. If they aren't doing one of these, they are [[BAWWW]]ing over their latest big breakup with their fellow dykebian girlfriend, commencing in false pity within the community.
| |
|
| |
| ====Talon: He dies like 6 times a year====
| |
| Talon AKA Lyrick AKA black person (we'll call him nigger), has "died". You see, Nigger ha<s>s</s>d [[AIDS|stage 4 cancer]] and [[shit_nobody_cares_about|6 months to live]]. However, Nigger was too [[emo]] to wait for [[Satan]] to call him home, so he [[an_hero|killed himself.]] Tears of joy echoed around the land of Furry-Paws as they realized the only black person there had become an hero.
| |
|
| |
| Tragedy struck, however, when word came that Nigger was not truly dead. The oldest of FPians were certainly not surprised, but the two [[fucktards|friends]] Nigger had that cried for him were overjoyed. Nigger wove some lie about how his friend, [[insane|Durion]], had kidnapped him and spread the "lie". Anyone who has ever spoken to Nigger knows that Durion is Nigger himself. Sadly, the [[fucktards|friends]] of Nigger still believed him. Maybe one day, they can all become [[an hero]]'s together.
| |
|
| |
| '''BREAKING NEWS:''' Talon is confirmed by sources to be an entire fake itself. Since it has [[attention whore|lied]] so many times, the true Talon remains a mystery. Talon is actually a ploy conducted by a female who's not a black person but instead stole the identity of one. [http://www.formspring.me/Lyrick1 link to Talon's inactive formspring]
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:Talonfaker.png|center]]
| |
|
| |
| ===White Tiger: Talking Like This Is Cool Yo===
| |
| One of the many FAIL artists on Furry-paws, Tiger bleeds her parents pockets dry by buying USD art by the shitloads. Her deviantart is here if you feel like trolling ;) http://blossom800.deviantart.com/
| |
| She butt-fucks poor Fever for art of her ugly ass character Berlyn, but how can you say no to endless amounts of [[USD|jew gold]]? With no drawing talents of her own, she [[fail|copies]] Fever's art style in a attempt to make herself POPULARRRRR!~!~. Whats even worse is the bitch Talks Like This, Capatilizing Every Fucking Letter Of Every Fucking Paragraph. Dumb bitch. White Tiger loves to post her fail [[sparkledawwggg|fursona]] in art nook on her spare time, shoving the rainbow on grey design down our throats. This is prime example why they shouldn't like 9 year olds on the interwebs.
| |
|
| |
| ====Moar Attention Whores====
| |
| [[Image:Kiwigirl.jpg|thumb|left|150px|A typical conversation with Kiwi Girl.]]
| |
| [[Image:elevenandemo.png|thumb|right|150px|An example of one of POD's many [[emo]] posts.]]
| |
| [[Image:PODautism.png|thumb|right|150px|Like we wouldn't have known.]]
| |
| [[Image:Pod.PNG|thumb|left|150px|We all agree with this statement.]]
| |
| [[Image:Nowsho.png|thumb|left|150px|Proof that Snowshoe is Carlou.]]
| |
| [[Image:Idiotmodmek.jpg|thumb|right|Incompetent mod is also thug life alcoholic]]
| |
|
| |
| <div style="height:520px; overflow:scroll;">
| |
| {| border=1 width=450
| |
| [[Failure|The whole fucking community]]: [[Hypocrite|Hypocrisy]], BAWWWWWWing about the ED page, then getting pissed at members and figuring it'd be a fun idea to make an article about them. YOU LOSE GUISE, REALLY.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Skank|Kahlem]]: The owner of your furry-fag website claims she's going to [[lie|school]], but really spends her day [[stripping]] her ugly [[ginger]] ass for the leftover dinners people leave upon viewing her and nearly dying in disgust on their way out. Kahlem promises a [[revolution]] for furry-paws: a new layout [[OMGZ]]!! The majority of the community hates the layout, but dare they say it publicly (or privately for that matter), because Kah will get [[butthurt]] and [[BAWWWW]] to her doggie, who she named after her favourite meal, Chili. For said reasons, the community will publicly announce and [[suckup]] to Kahlem, saying they [[lie|adore]] her new layout and it is a [[true]] [[revolution]] for FP and the unactive owner to do.<br>
| |
| Nobody expected Kahlem (Kah) to go through with the layout. In fact, it's been in planning for years. But since Kahlem can spend two years collecting leftovers and pennies thrown at her ugly mop instead of working out her promises or logging into her own site, people have really lost hope in the case. [[Rebellions]] have been happening against this "owner", making her want to be [[an_hero]] instead of a failing [[stripper]].
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[FAIL TROLL|Fawkes]]: Some annoying, little girl that isn't even worth a ED paragraph. lol.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Pedobear|Vardan/Owlspot]]: "Vardowlspot is a former moderator who stalks other players in her spare time. The fact is, no one can tell what gender this fatass is; The size of a whale, she makes up imaginary relationships between her and other players since no one will ever spare a glance or a pity fuck her way. She spends at least 19hours+ in the chatroom masturbating to 12 year olds. If she isn't yelling at toddlers for breaking the rules, she's constantly begging for people to give her free stuff, then complains how all anyone ever does is beg.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[hooker|Weezer]]: A 300 tonne brick house of a man beast who spends it's time reading and skulking the boards to scare kiddies into studying at school so they don't turn into a retarded fucktard like her/him. This asspie likes to prey on those it feels will fall beneath her infinite power on a kids game, because she has no fucking life (does anyone on this site have one?). She complains about her 5 pound Yorkie being savage and it may pull over her 300 tonne of lard because Yorkies have super powers. Basically another retarded basement dweller of Furry Paws who has adapted a delusional holier than thou attitude - because it's so cool on an internetz sitez.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Drama|Spike]]: A wannabe holocaust survivor who rants and raves about her scars from her 'angel' boyfriend beating her, she often relates back to the time when her daddy used to fuck her in the ass and enjoys her scum-bag's efforts to remind her of home.
| |
| After running away from home because mommy and daddy didn't love her, she went to live with her boyfriend who she met off [[Myspace|Myspace]]. He then beat her, causing her to respond by going completely fucking nuts; She thrashed his electronics and [[WTF|beat him up in the woods with a stick.]]
| |
| "So When I got here, For that first week I had my angel back, I was so happy. Then I snapped and I guess punished him, I beat him in the woods with a stick! I know it is wrong but.. "
| |
| (Cause we all know beating your loved ones is the only good way to show you care, amiright?)
| |
| <br><br>
| |
| She also lives under the illusion that this is completely normal, and all relationships are like this.
| |
| Now, in an attempt to regain some type of redemption for what she did, she's started doing godly deeds around the site for people (because helping people on a virtual dog site makes up for beating people). She's 'renting' out her virtual dog kennel to 'those in need'. She's now recently decided to sell her 'soul' (like anyone would even want that) for site currency so she can keep upgrading her virtual kennel.
| |
| <br><br>
| |
| As of late, she's apparently moved back to Florida after being ass-raped one too many times by her 'boyfriend', and kicked out by his parents. She's recently decided to go [[an_hero|an hero]] and gain furry paws fame, since she decided the site has gone downhill and it was her only means of existence."<br><br>
| |
| In recent news, Spike's "[[Wut|IRL]] "friend" posted on their account that Spike was in trouble, causing a board of drama. Citizens of the furry fag fest sat back and [[LOL|LOLed]] at the post as the "friend" would continue to reply, slipping up and showing that it was Spike, truly, behind this madness.
| |
| <br><br>
| |
| LOL! BREAKING NEWS! Spike's [[Furry|Fur Fag]] boyfriend discovered he's [[fag|gay]] and broke up with her! She "gave him her virginity" (because we believe that, [[no|rite guiz?]]) and wants people on the internet to [[raeg|kill him]] to get it back. Sleeping with Spike makes you [[gay]]!
| |
| ----
| |
|
| |
| [[Transgender|Rivek]]: Previously gone by the alias of "Jonny" and "The Outlaw", Rivek is another [[tranny]]/[[dyke]]/[[WTF|can anybody tell the gender of any member on this site?]]. Currently dating a fellow [[dyke]] and moderator of the site known as Aggie. While Rivek enjoys the [[attention]] it receives from [[12 year old girls]] online it [[beastiality|prefers the company of horses]]. Rivek loves to think that it is god, and has mucho power over everyone else. Other trannies include <s>Colie and Rift and Lost in Stereo</s> [[everyone|everyone on that god-forsaken shithole]].
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Jailbait|~Hope~]]: Hope can commonly be found spouting her hoity-toity "let's play nice" attitude around the site, unaware that no one fucking cares what the fuck she's talking about. Also posted about her long distance relationship with her [[beastality|boyfriend]], most likely for the lulz. She apparently used to think she was ugly, and her assumptions are probably dead on. Can also be found telling other people whether or not they are in "luv". I see a [[hooker|great future]] in store for you!
| |
| ----
| |
| [[God|Immortal Thunders (IT)]]: IT is seen much like a God to the lowly basement dwellers who like to assrape her infinite wisdom. If anyone disagrees with the God then the basement dwellers revolt and desperately try to gang band the offender for not agreeing with the fucking dellusional antics of their master. IT treats her followers much like she treats her dogs, with disrespect, fucking and of course starvation. He or she (does anyone really know?) also likes to have daily sumo tag team moments with [[transgender|Rivek]] and complain about all fucking society being out to get them, the followers of course agree. Because being an idol for the furfaggots on an online kiddies game is really hardcore in the real world.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Asspie|The holy trio of Allierain, Pariahs and Des:]]: The triage of holier than thou know-it-alls strike each and every post where they feel their infinite wisdom of assraping is needed. They dominate their dogs by fucking them from behind and claim to be all for positive training. They always give their input and often argue with each other until they all decide to fuck it and have an orgy. They also have groupies, trying to follow in their footsteps, commonly known as [[no life|IT]] and [[tranny|Diah]].
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Insane|Onyx]]: Onyx is a [[DO IT FAGGOT|suicidal]] [[psychopath]] that constantly goes on about how she "quit art" even though she is constantly [[spam|spamming]] the Art Nook with her [[creepy]] [[ass]] "drawings". The majority of her [[pr0n|art]] consist of wildly emaciated dogs with [[rape|giant eyeballs]]. Every time she posts a hoard of [[pedophilia|fans]] haul some serious [[ass]] to [[lie|compliment her.]] Truth is they all think she is [[creepy|creepy as hell]] but they are afraid that if they critique her she will [[an hero|off]] herself. As quoted by Oynx: "The majority of my characters aren't know on FP, either. They're not designs made to look pretty on tags like FP characters. I don't even buy/make art of most of my guys. That's not what they're for. [[basement dweller|I talk to them,]] [[spending too long on the internet|interact with them,]] get [[suicide|advice from some of them,]] get annoying by some of them, (u_u), and just generally [[no life|watch their lives]]." Recently killed a bunch of millipedes from being a complete dumb ho and giving them all mites.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[12_year_old_girls|Emily]]: Aka the next Talon; If she isn't [[BAWWWW]]ing about how daddy doesn't love her, or how her family is to poor to support themselves without getting child support from him, she's most likely posting pictures of [[ugly|herself]] in an attempt to get attention. In the span of a week, her family managed to go through divorce, loose all their money and run out of food; Then the next week they gained everything back again, daddy loves her and she's managed to afford going on a major shopping spree and attending raves; Few months previous, her mother also apparently played and banned her from being on FP; She was also sent to a psych ward for emotional and eating disorders, but came back a few weeks later as if nothing happened. Once players started calling her out that her and her mother where one in the same, mommy wrote a bawwww post and took off. She also recently had a [[WTF|bunionectomy]] and enjoys talking about how the pain medications give her a drug effect.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Retarded|Iesous/Eeyore/Absinthe]]: AKA stupid enough to post a link to her facebook page so everyone can see her [[ugly]] ass and equally trashy booty call. Posted about her [[abortion]] for [[lolz]] and got mad when it was celebrated as chlorinating the gene pool. So fugly, her boyfriend dumped her on her birthday. A loner, a nobody and a loser. She desperately attempts to change this page daily to remove her name, obviously having no clue how Wiki's work. [http://www.formspring.me/eeyorebabyy link to her (probably) active formspring]
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Asspie|POD]]: Stupidity personified, she spends her time whining and dwelling on the deficit of intelligence she possesses. This ugly beast of a [[basement dweller]] constantly attempts reverse psychology to get her way. Often times, she fantasizes of her own equally idiotic SIM becoming something. POD creates herself at a level unseen by everyone else on the website: immature and naïve of the cruel world, she believes life should be perfect and full of [[death|sunshine]] and [[doom|happiness]]. Not only is she addicted to the internet, but she's an eleven year old [[emo]]. Often times, you'll see her annoying the shit out of poor distraught players, who only posted a single line on one of her attention-seeking posts. Easily offended she most likely participates in [[cutting|self mutilation]] for the [[attention]]. Hoarding her so-called friends is her favorite activity, though she has no hope of keeping them due to her idiocy. Often racist, ageist, and snobbish about the intelligence she's convinced herself she has. She recently decided to admit to having [[autism|BAWWWWWWtism]], as if we couldn't already tell.<br>
| |
| Her response to being on here: '''Have you seen what they say about you on the FP encyclopedia dramatica page? Haha.''';
| |
| Yes, and quite frankly I could care less about what they say. ;) - secretly [[butthurt]]
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| The Saga of [[whore|Sker]], [[fugly|Kirin]], [[12_year_old_girl|Toast]], [[Scene|Smoothy]], and [[stalker|Sheer]]: Sker, taking after Tea and even sharing the same name, is also looking for pussy on the internet. Sker is a [[Nazi]] and, in true [[Nazi]] fashion, treats everyone like shit and [[online_dating|"cheats"]] behind the backs of her online [[online_dating|"girlfriends"]]. On top of that, Sker cuts her wrists on webcam and blackmails innocent people, fueled by her senile drug abused brain. Instead of spreading the drama publicly, her exes tend to [[BAWWWW]] about it to their friends on MSN, causing said friends to start drama of their own.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[dyke|Mozart]]: Mozart, starting out as [[an_hero|Noffie]] years ago on fp, was banned due to their lack of trolling skills. Within the year, the [[faggot|kid]] decided to make a come-back. Not making any attempt to change their [[2_year_old]] drawing style, created an obvious image that Mozart = Noffie. Though the fp "community" isn't that smart, and would rather spend their time [[rape|fucking their dogs]] instead of pointing out the obvious, they believed that Mozart had "come back" from their [[hiatus]]. When they came back, they [[lied|flaunted]] their stolen [[male]] [[myspace]] pictures, and the [[whores|girls]] of fp flocked "him". Lying and satisfied, Mozart carried on, [[fapping|bragging]] to the fp [[heshe|girls]] about his life and his art [[WTF|talents]]. Not long ago, [[no_face|Mozart]] had been frozen again, which could have been the result of two things. One, [[her|his]] unsuccessful trolling skills made everyone facepalm into the 3000's, or two, someone [[snitched|spilled the beans]]. Either of which, who really cares, Mozart is blyth. Mozart tells her new friends about her new account as blyth. she wont get cought though.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| Another [[cripple|Allie Rain]] post, because she's just that fucking stupid. Constantly feels the need to tell the community of her [[handicap|gibbled]] status, and has the unconditional need to refer to her mutt (that no one gives a shit about) her her beloved "omgzsewsweetpibblemix. nevarhurtafly" Allie once had a stalkerish crush on [[fat slob|Rottie]], but failed to tell her in fear she would (obviously) get rejected, as Rottie likes men. Allie has also posted about her FAIL "set-up" with random women at local [[stripper|bars]], and being shot down. I'm well assured her ugly mug had something to do with it. She can be found talking about various therapy dogs that never fucking work out for her. Beggers can't be choosers, hun.
| |
| [http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000096416023 Her ugly mug can be found here]
| |
| ----
| |
| The duo, [[lesbian|Kofii]] and [[tranny|Atomic]]: Keeping their relationship a secret from their best friend, their friends, and the rest of the fp community, these two [[homos]] made it clear that they were [[having_sex|dating]]. Posting pictures of the pale white [[emo]] chicks over FP, having tags which feature their characters having [[sex]], and hearts everywhere, made them have their moment. Kofii claims she's an amazing artist, while she sketches [[annorexic]] canines with [[fat]] heads and [[scene]] hair and prices it for outrageous prices, [[suckups]] continue to buy the worthless art. Atomic has a millimetre more talent than Kofii has, but they're both way down in the [[toilet|crapper]] in terms of skills. Atomic will [[BAWWWW]] if she doesn't get her way or if nothing sells. Continuously, begging for [[pity]] through private messages, the guilty resort to buying her [[shit|"art"]].
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Faggot|Yale]]: Spends his day moping around and messing with some other [[whore]] to kill his time. Threatens to [[emo|kill himself]] and gloats about his "padded room" experience, he likes to flash 11 year old girls, and [[bisexual|juggles both men and girls in his life.]] He cheats on fake girlfriends and whines about how much hes a [[loser|fuck up]] who can't even get a girl offline.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Psycho|Zyfr]]: Basically the [[Lol_wut|female]] version of Yale and a Tea incarcerate. She is insistent on arguing over the smallest of things, and loves telling people they are the reason dogs are being [[rape|slaughtered]]. She will throw a fit if things do not go her way and it is quite obvious she is just a [[retarded]] [[12_year_old_girls|12-year-old]].
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Bitch|Otter]]: A Grandmother mod. Literally. Has referenced her old age many times, yet gives off the impression of a child. Using constant explamation/question marks to emphasize her posts, but bitch at others who follow in her [[atheletes foot|footsteps]]. You should be picking out caskets, not [[trolling|modding]] a online kids game.
| |
| ----
| |
| [[12_year_old_girls|Kiwi Gal]]: Another basement dweller that [[desperate|desperately]] wants a poodle. We're all kind of happy she doesn't have one yet, because the poor thing would probably commit [[suicide]]. Not that she deserves one anyway. Despite warnings, she's too fucking ignorant to realize that getting a puppy from a pet shop is a HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE, so we can expect her to [[BAWWWW]] like a baby when her puppy milled mutt ends up having problems. [[lie|Shockingly]], she has no form of life outside her computer, resulting in her only hobby being to message other players on the site. Normally, the people who she messages have never talked to her in their lives and [[nobody cares|don't give a shit]] about anything she has to say. However, [[idiot|she doesn't fucking realize this]], and harasses people until they block her so that they can remain content in their own virtual world. Unable to grasp the concept that there is a difference between [[real_life|real life]] and the [[internet]], her most recent [[BAWWW|BAWWW-fest]] involves her ranting about how the Furry Paws bank interest rate and her real life interest rate are different and how she thinks this is unfair. Of course, no one can comment on this or they'll be bitched out by her extensive vocabulary (including words like: sarcastic, mean, rude, and other remarks usually only shouted by by seven-year-olds).
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Basement_dweller|Mahou]]: From the few pictures of herself posted, it is obvious she is a [[man_the_harpoons|huge ass whale]]. She loves getting into fights over [[shit_nobody_cares_about|pointless shit]] and demands to be right, though she generally makes the other player feel [[retarded]] by talking to them and "nicely" telling them they are wrong. She openly speaks of her hatred toward internet drama, but [[hypocrite|loves starting her own]]. Her mortal enemy is the one and only [[whore|Iesous]] and her "BFF" is [[skank|Leto]]- in her own words "If you mess with my Leto I will slice your throat, <3"
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Whore|Sketch]]: Another "artist" with no grasp of reality. She is a 20-year-old [[loser|high school dropout]] that fails her 2 [[IRL]] [[children]]. She [[BAWWW]]s in the Chatroom constantly about how shitty her life is and [[an_hero|how much she wants to end it]]. If you do not see her in the chat room bawwing, it's most likely she has her legs spread and is creating another [[retarded]] baby. In recent news she is now pregnant again after aborting her last baby.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Fatass|Audacious]]: Another [[fat]] [[tranny]] who assrapes all dogs from rescues and decides to "rescue" puppies. She ferments in the [[attention]] she gets when she [[lies|'rescues']] a puppy from someone's backyard then decides to kill it off after it looks at her wrong. Nobody can keep track of how many animals have died in her care. And now, for many [[lulz]], she may be [[whore|pregnant!]]
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Bestiality|Soteria]]: Aside from being another "[[artist]]" that has no grasp of basic anatomy, she's changed her names several times in an attempt to [[trolls remorse|hide from people]]. Her fursona is a green [[sparkledog]] that will melt your retinas faster than a laser show on the sun. In her spare times she makes up [[lies|excuses]] to not get her art done and [[BAWWWW]]s when things don't go her way. Enjoys stealing lots of USD, then never messaging the buyer back. Typical [[trailer trash]] with a [[WTF|50.2 BMI]], she can't get her priorities straight. Instead of fixing her dogs, she seems more interested in flying to another state to see some sort of [[beastiality|"dog show"]]. Recently, she has given up her cat to replace it with more [[inbred]] puppies.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[12 year old girl|Zoey]]: A [[retard|retard]] who likes to talk about her dogs and create love poems to them then [[bawww]] about how fat they are. She also likes to write about deaths of pets from years ago -- she can remember the exact time of death but then forget the age of her pets.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Bullshit|Larthan]]: A [[furfag]] who, despite all claims that "she is female", is a male [[furry]] and a [[pedophile]]. He will give claims of offering 'her' photo identification and pictures of 'her' birth certificate, but these are obviously just pictures taken from google and photobucket. Despite all proof that he is obviously a [[hermaphrodite|male]] [[pedophile]] (and possibly a [[prostitute]]), he still manages to trick small children into talking to him and [[pedobear|giving out personal information]].
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Whore|Snowshoe / Carlou]]: Another tranny-dyke of Furry Paws with image issues and gender confusion, Carlou has decided to mask 'his/her' identity crisis by creating an female-alter ego called Snowshoe. Snowshoe BAAWWWWS about her excuse for a wolfdog being given away by her assraping dad. <s>Carlou / Snowshoe is also getting married to Kitty. Maybe another to add the the alter ego list?</s> Cancel that, it was a lie to get attention. [http://twitter.com/iCarlouTouch link to "Carlou's" inactive twitter]
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Bullshit|Labbetuss]]: A gay hate parader who proclaims 'I dont have any thing against people being gay. Its just the gay part I find wrong . ' She is an inner dyke.
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Image:LetoAnnoyed.png|thumb|leto gets annoyed of fp and admits to having no life]]
| |
| [[Whore|Leto]]: One of Furry-Paws many moderators. She is known for two things: being a [[pedo bear]] and [[sex|fucking as many guys as possible.]] She openly admits not to care about anything but [[police|moderating]] the [[AOL|chat room]], yet it is her duty to moderate the entire site. She will spread her legs for anyone (as long as they have a black person). An average conversation with Leto is filled with "[[sex|SEX. SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX RAEP SEX!!]]" <s>[http://s29.photobucket.com/albums/c284/Leto86/ Leto's public photobucket where you can view pictures of the anorexic looking basement dwelling tranny] [http://www.myspace.com/leto86 public myspace same ugly tranny]</s> Leto saw this page and put them both on private but here's [http://www.youtube.com/user/Leto86 her public youtube acct]. Also, if you really wanted to seek down this sex-crazied [[transexual]], here's her [http://www.facebook.com/leto.eden Facebook].
| |
| <br>
| |
| ----
| |
| [[Idiot|Abs]]: In September of 2010, a litter of mutts parading around under a designer breed name was born to the so called "best breeder on Furry-Paws." This [[dumbass|ingenious]] match-up features her (OMG!!CLEARLY <b>NOT</b> A CHAMPION OK! Get your facts straight PLZ!!11) GSP stud and her [[ugly|conformationally challenged]] Labrador. Bitch then sells this "new" breed for $600-$800 a pop. She knows that everyone on Furry-Paws is an [[idiot|idiot]] and doesn't realize they can find the exact same damn thing in a shelter for $100 then get it trained themselves. If this were some other FPian everyone would be BAWWWWWWing but no, everyone wants a puppy from this [[stupid|miracle]] litter.
| |
| |}
| |
| </div>
| |
|
| |
| ====Other Ways To Be An Attention Whore:====
| |
| [[Image:Talonstupid.png|thumb|Baw, baw, I'm pretending to be retarded! Feel sorry for me!]]
| |
| *Place a picture of yourself as your [[avatar|tag]]; this way, no matter where you go on the site, everyone’s forced to look at you.
| |
| *Create a webshow devoted to the community. [[nobody cares|Everyone will love you,]] and [[lie|you’ll gain instant popularity!]]
| |
| *Pretend to be gay, lesbian, or something that makes you super special and unique. Hell, even pretend to be mentally handicapped! That's sure to make you popular!
| |
| *Place your phone number up on Furry-Paws. "if n1 wants to call me plz do. im so bored. NO TEXTING I CANT TEXT! 1-270-922-6506 Plz call im so bored!"
| |
| <center><youtube>24LMPLmGNvE</youtube></center>
| |
|
| |
| ==Forums==
| |
| Doesn't it take just as much of a loser to create a hate page?
| |
|
| |
| :] suck that dick.
| |
|
| |
| ==Lulzdrama!!!==
| |
| Furry-Paws has had many lulzy times in it's history, these are just a few of such times.
| |
|
| |
| ===September 2010 - OMG ED GOT ME HAXED!!===
| |
| A new trend that has recently risen from the bowels of Furry-Paws. One day an [[Attention_whore|attention whore]] thought of a great idea, a way to get sympathy and free money. She quickly posted a board, insisting that "someone at ED had to have hacked her" and she lost [[Over_9000|"over 70million dollars!!"]] The players, quick to react, began to panic and change passwords, and paranoia spread. Then a new challenger appeared, someone who had a reputation of being an [[honesty|honest]] person. They claimed they were hacked but "nothing was taken." They too blamed ED, and more paranoia spread. Who knows if the mania will continue? Who will get "hacked" next? Stay tuned to this page for the exciting continuation!!
| |
|
| |
| ===September 2010 - Snowshoe is Carlou! B&! OMG DRAMAZ!===
| |
| On an epic day in history, Snowshoe was called out for being Carlou with the help of many EDiots. [[Trap|S/he]] denied it and managed to get two posts closed before [[raptor_jesus|our knight in shining armor]] spread his hands far and wide and dropped a [[banhammer]] on her ass. However, Snowshoe appears to be so [[insane|obsessed with the "truth"]] that she continues to denies it. A few [[idiots|sophisticated players]] believed that Carlou was not a lie, and stood up for them. The post in general was a huge [[unfunny|fail]]. EDiots everywhere hope this sparks many lulz, however, and expect it. They also expect Snowshoe to [[Fake_death|"quit"]] at least [[over_9000|142357]] times.
| |
|
| |
| The end of the drama:
| |
|
| |
| On September 28th, 2010 a thread appeared containing the truth of Snowshoe and Carlou. The thread was very quickly removed by the moderators, but not before this EDiot could capture screenies and save images. These are such images, proving that once and for all- Carlou IS Snowshoe:
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:Carl1.png|thumb|center|The original post]][[Image:Carl2.jpg|thumb|center|Snowshoe admits to being Carlou, but tries to gain [[trolls_remorse|sympathy]]]][[Image:Carl3.jpg|thumb|center|Snowshoe wants to [[blanking_in_progress|delete everything]]]][[Image:CarlSnowshoe.jpg|thumb|center|Snowshoe talks to herself in an attempt to sound more believable]]
| |
|
| |
| ===July 2011 - Skullsmasher fakes his/her/it/she/the death!!!! OMG so SAD )~:===
| |
|
| |
| In a sad attempt to get out of commissions and be a sleezy [[bitch.jpg|cheap skate]], Skullsmasher faked his death. Like many people before him, they obviously couldn't do anything fucking right like pretending to die and move on with life. Apparently [[dick sucking|skin cancer]] or
| |
| some bullshit was the killer, leaving behind many questions unanswered, many [[12 yr old girls crying|BAWWWING]] left unheard. His girlfriend Blitz seems to go on like nothing happened, continues to sell art/post on forms even though her [[fuckbuddy|lover]] is dead and gone. Even worse, a new [[con|artist]] appeared right after the day SS kicked the bucket. Claiming to be SS's friend IRL LOL and that he taught her how to draw, Loveless has the [[lol|exact]] drawing style as the old Skullsmasher and is [[humping|buddy buddy]] with Blitz as well. Because thats what Skullsmasher would of wanted LOL. It seems he got off skott clean, keeping all the money from his poor commissioners for himself. Countless BAWWWING posts about him dying can be read on the General Board, seeing how the mods let this fly.
| |
| Skullsmashers dead, end of story.
| |
|
| |
| ==Ways to Troll Furry Paws Players==
| |
|
| |
| [[Image:Letoforus.png|thumb|right|For us?! You shouldn't have!]]
| |
|
| |
| #Mention your unfixed, mixed breed dog
| |
| #Own an unfixed dog
| |
| #Breed your dog (or cat)
| |
| #Say you support people eating dog meat/meat in general
| |
| #Be against gays
| |
| #Kill an animal
| |
| #Don't take your dog to a vet (even if it ONLY has a HANGNAIL!)
| |
| #Support cropping or docking (and not necessarily by a vet)
| |
| #Hate pit bulls/bully breeds
| |
| #Support dog fighting
| |
| #Remind everyone that the [[loser|site's owner]] never does anything.
| |
| #Mention, even in passing, that you enjoy eating dog meat.
| |
| #Tell blond(e) jokes
| |
| #Say you don't support adopting from a shelter
| |
| #Post a topic that could [[An hero|trigger]] someone (rape, eating disorders, etc)
| |
| #Say you're [[pregnant_loli|14 and pregnant]] and how proud you are to be so.
| |
| #Mention [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|ED]]
| |
| #ATTITUDEEEE!!!
| |
| #Say you hit your dog
| |
| #Mention the revamp
| |
| #Hate dog update posts
| |
| #Reply to any of Abs posts with the URL to her website.
| |
| #Make rant regarding annoyance of mods
| |
| #Go to the heart of the beast: server located at 69.175.77.178; watch as [[basement dwellers]] cry over 12 hours of [[spending too long on the internet|lost work on their dogs]]
| |
| #CHATSPEAK.
| |
|
| |
| ==Furry Paws "Mature"==
| |
| Recently a new website cropped up known as "Furry Paws [[Mature]]." The essence of Furry Paws "Mature" is that members can go and talk about "mature" things that they can not on Furry Paws. It has turned into, however, a "[[baw|Bawwww]] my life sucks" website where Ieosous goes to cry about how horribly depressing her life is. When Ieosous isn't busy crying about everything that exists, the other members are crying about how their mommies never loved them, and how [[shitty]] the Furry Paws moderators are. Luckily for them, they can bitch their little hearts out and say whatever they want- because the mods had the rule books thrown at them that shows no matter what lies they create, they can't get in trouble on the actual site. (Though it certainly wont stop them from trying)
| |
|
| |
| TL;DR:
| |
|
| |
| BAWW BAWW BAWW BAW BAW BAW BAWWWW Ieosous' life sucks BAWWWW BAW BAW I got a warning for cussing BAW BAWWWW BAAAWWW People think my emaciated dog is too skinny and bitch at me about it and I'm such a huge cunt BAWW BAAWWWBABABAWWWW.
| |
| She loves to listen to her parents have sex (as she mentioned on FPM) and refuses to realize she is spoiled. She thinks the phrase "Haters Make Me Famous" is true and loves to cause "drama" wherever she happens upon. When Ieosous is not being a spoiled brat bitching about her life she is fucking other men.
| |
|
| |
| [[File:Fpmatureforsrs.png]]
| |
| Furry-Paws [[sickfuck|Mature]]
| |
|
| |
| :'''WARNING:'''
| |
| Joining FPM instantly makes you ineligible for anything on Furry-Paws. This means you can't win chat contests, you can never be an image bank rater (or have images accepted into the image bank), or a newbie helper. Basically, join under a fake name and never say who you are if you hope to be anything on Furry-Paws besides a low life fuck up (see what I mean by mods still try to get you in trouble?)*.
| |
| *this doesn’t apply to people who are already moderators, of course. How else would they spy on members?
| |
|
| |
| ==See Also==
| |
| *[[12 year old girls]]
| |
| *[[16 year old girls]]
| |
| *[[Furcadia]]
| |
| *[[Furry]]
| |
| *[[Neopets]]
| |
| *[[Wajas]]
| |
| *[[Zetaforum]]
| |
|
| |
| ==External Links==
| |
| *[http://www.furry-paws.com/index.php Furry-Paws.com]
| |
| *[http://fpmature.freeforums.org/index.php Furry Paws "Mature" Forum]
| |
| {{Cyberpets}}{{Furfaggotry}}{{Gaming}}
| |
|
| |
| [[Category:Faggotry]][[Category:Furries]][[Category:Gaming]][[Category:Sites]][[Category:Subcultures]]
| |
