CSI

Not to be confused with CSIII

CSI (for Crime Scene Investigation) is a TV show that comes in three flavors, all of them cheese; CSI (set in Vegas), CSI: Miami and CSI: New York. Contrary to popular belief, two thirds of the three shows are made of pwn and lulz, the exception being CSI: New York, which is devoid of anything that could even be considered 'acting', drama or lulz despite the presence of Lieutenant Dan.

Highlights include watching David "Horatio (INAM) Caine" Caruso keep putting his sunglasses back on (whilst he's never been seen removing them) and relentless torrents of unfunny 'zingers' that are so horribly FAIL they actually WIN (see Rules of the Internet).

However, it is the original CSI (Vegas) that delivers the most, having shone the spotlight on such abhorrent human perversions such as furries, infantilism, vampires and Nazi-style experiments involving lobotomizing homeless people.

	“	Who the hell knows what goes on in a furpile?	„
	—Catherine Willows

In essence though, they are 'procedural dramas' where wannabe cops catch sloppy criminals through the likes of DNA from cum stains and skin cells then make them confess with highly dramatic dialogue under dim lighting while Horatio completes all the tough sleuthing work by looking through his eyebrows at people and speaking really quietly so his voice sounds deep.

Horatio Caine:Now A Meme

Half man...half amusing.

Yes...you 'are' special!

Guest appearance of Christopher Walken. Non-canon, unfortunately.

Horatio Gallery

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Notable Episodes

Fur & Loathing - The Furry Episode

One notorious episode featured a furry who had been drugged, shot, then run over by a truck, as well as explaining the definition of the word "yiff" to the viewers watching when the episode aired on October 30, 2003. Also, this particular episode makes it quite clear that groups of furries are always engaging in yiff orgies in the back of furry conventions. This resulted in thousands of furries across the internet ranting about this injustice and how the episode showed them in a bad way. Fortunately no furries complained about it in RL as they were too embarrassed to show themselves. Also, as a note of lulz and graet justice, the killer wasn't punished. BALEETED!!!!

The Second Life Episode

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CSI: NY knows technology

VB GUI Interface is now a meme.

Why CSI Sucks

MINE!! MY CASE!! I WANNA PULL THE SWITCH!!

• The entire cast of CSI: New York
  • Especially Danny Messer. When he's tries to talk "street", he sounds like he got a minor stroke.
• Needs moar DESU
• Horatio Caine
• It isn't House
• Horatio fucking Caine
• The forensic software used is far from believable; *beep* *boop* *bleep* 'MATCH FOUND!' is, one could posit, not representative of an actual computer interface.
• The Amazing Magic Blue Flashlight. Just turn it on and you'll find hair, bullets, blood, semen and the a/s/l of the assassin. All in Visual Basic.
• Jurisprudence? Fuck that shit, Pabst Blue Ribbon!
• Horatio (TM) Caine
• HORATIO Caine
• Horatio....CAINE
• YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Why CSI Is Awesome

• Exposed Furries to the general public
• The Who's opening Themes (WHO ARE YOU? YOU? YOU--AH?)
• The Gore and Violence
• Stupid people getting taken out in neat ways.
• The thought of Mac from CSI:NY having Mel Gibson's kid locked away somwhere... like on a shrimp boat.
• Laurence Fishburne
• Laurence Fishburne's daughter (who now does porn; sauce.)
• Horatio Caine
• Horatio Caine's awesome one-liners.
• Horatio Caine Sunglasses
• Horatio Caine's awesome one-liners right before putting on his Sunglasses.
• Horatio fucking Caine
• YEEEAAAAAAHHH!!
• Killing Justin Fucking Bieber

• Having the good taste of not just settling for dissmissing the annoying Aiden Burn-character, but letting her be raped and killed by a rape-killer with a silly name (who got caught in the process).

External links

• The show is notable for making fun of furries
• Caruso voted to be the top asshole on TV
• CSI: New York - Second Life style
• Horatio meme generator

CSI is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.