E.T.

A still from the movie

E.T. (The Extra Terrestrial) is a magical film about an alien, whos parents hate the fucking sight of him, so they do a "Maddie", dumping him on earth. He then goes on to befriend a young boy called Elliott, before fucking off home.

HIS SPACESHIP WAS A FUCKING DREIDEL

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Merchandise

Learning to entertain from the master

Creaming at the prospect of a Star Wars type franchise, Shlomo auctioned off E.T. to the highest bidder. As a result, there was narely a surface to be seen that didn't bear E.T.'s loveable visage. Rumour has it, that Michael Jackson paid $1M for one night alone with the puppet (and not even the mechanical one, with a robotic mouth). E.T. didn't mind tho, since his asshole was already gaping, due to the combined force of Senor Spielbergo and his associates.

The Infamous Atari Game

Pioneering the now tedious tradition of releasing a shit computer game on the back of the success of a film, Spielberg & Co. decided to cash in on the fantastic potential of E.T. by selling the film rights to Atari. Unfortunately the game was so dire that what was forecast as Profit!!!!!11111 for the people at Atari, ended up in EPIC FAIL, with Atari being reported as "An heroed" Last Thursday. Then, like all American problems, the shady East took the fall and almost all copies of the game were taken to the Iraqi desert where Atari gifted the sacred land with trillions of tons of imperishable plastic.

Phwoarrrr, Elliott looks so realistic.

5 Steps to success

1. Write a film featuring a main character with big eyes and a stupid voice.
2. Spend $200 making said film.
3. Sell everything, including your anus.
4. ????
5. Profit!

E.T. is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.