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Braid: Difference between revisions
imported>Unknown Created page with " '''Braid''' is a popular puzzle game for PC and Xbox 360. It features one of the most high-brow stories in a vidya game to date, because the story isn't actually th..." |
imported>H0xnbl0w Rewrote this crappy stub |
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{{Spoiler|You're a rapist douchebag! The princess is an atomic bomb! You're educated stupid!}} | |||
[[File:BraidTitle.jpg|thumb|right|The [[Shit|brown-colored]] theme is not accidental.]] | |||
''Braid'' is a [[Poor|indie]] [[Uplink|overrated]] game [[nerds]] all over the internets get a hard-on for because of its supposedly [[Rape|deep story]] and [[Shit no one cares about|underlying themes]] of atomic bomb creation and [[Jewish]] [[troll's remorse]]. You can get it on [[Steam]] or for your [[Xbox360]] if you're a [[nigger]] who can't computor. Its popularity seems to stem mostly from the desperate hunger for [[OC]], with shit like this [[Daikatana|overhyped]] to hell and back because zomg storyline. It was also released for [[linux]] and [[basement dweller]]s cream themselves because a game released natively for linux that doesn't look like a shitty commodore port comes [[Never|once in 10 years]]. | |||
==[[Bullshit|Storyline]]== | |||
There is no actual storyline as you appear to be [[Weegee|trying to score with the princess]] by killing hedgehogs and [[Za Warudo|screwing with the space-time continuum]]. | |||
Every level looks exactly the same with a [[tl;dr]] [[Fairy]] tale told in the form of [[Lazy|scrolling text]] in [[Old media|books]] at the beginning of each "world". For some reason you're supposed to gather puzzles and arrange them to create a reproduction of [[Goatse]] which unlocks [[SHOOP DA WHOOP|lazors and other superpowers]]. Really. Go ahead. [[Do it fgt]]. | |||
== | <center><youtube>UeTQ8UkmmPU</youtube></center> | ||
==[[Boring|Gameplay]]== | |||
You jump on [[Mario|oompa-loompas]] and try not to [[RAGE]] too hard at the shitty mechanics that let you experience the [[Timecube|joys of mastering time and space]] without being [[Portal|any fun]]. | |||
Noone has completed the game [[Gamefaqs|without a walkthrough]] and anybody who claims to have done so is either lying or a [[virgin]]. | |||
<center><youtube>c5kHzw-lgOI</youtube></center> | |||
==Easter Egg== | |||
The [[Japan|atomic bomb]] theme doesn't actually pop up during a [[Noob|regular game]], one has to actually spend [[LOL|two hours in one level]] to unlock the [[Mindfuck|alternate ending]] [[Battletoads|as well as complete a variety of insanely difficult jump-timing combos.]] Also, if you've already completed world 1, [[Gay|you're not able to achieve the alternate ending without replaying the entire game from scratch.]] | |||
[[File:BraidRule34.jpg|thumb|right|[[Lolwut|This is what comes up as the most relevant result for rule 34 on Braid.]]]] | |||
<center><youtube>Wql0jEYmfDc</youtube></center> | |||
==See also== | |||
*[[Battletoads]] | |||
*[[Tourneyfag]] | |||
*[[Indie]] | |||
==External links== | |||
*[http://braid-game.com/ Homepage where you can give The Man jewgolds] if you're too stupid to get it [[BitTorrent|elsewhere]] | |||
{{gaming}} | |||
{{ | |||
Revision as of 21:33, 3 December 2011
Braid is a indie overrated game nerds all over the internets get a hard-on for because of its supposedly deep story and underlying themes of atomic bomb creation and Jewish troll's remorse. You can get it on Steam or for your Xbox360 if you're a nigger who can't computor. Its popularity seems to stem mostly from the desperate hunger for OC, with shit like this overhyped to hell and back because zomg storyline. It was also released for linux and basement dwellers cream themselves because a game released natively for linux that doesn't look like a shitty commodore port comes once in 10 years.
Storyline
There is no actual storyline as you appear to be trying to score with the princess by killing hedgehogs and screwing with the space-time continuum. Every level looks exactly the same with a tl;dr Fairy tale told in the form of scrolling text in books at the beginning of each "world". For some reason you're supposed to gather puzzles and arrange them to create a reproduction of Goatse which unlocks lazors and other superpowers. Really. Go ahead. Do it fgt.
Gameplay
You jump on oompa-loompas and try not to RAGE too hard at the shitty mechanics that let you experience the joys of mastering time and space without being any fun. Noone has completed the game without a walkthrough and anybody who claims to have done so is either lying or a virgin.
Easter Egg
The atomic bomb theme doesn't actually pop up during a regular game, one has to actually spend two hours in one level to unlock the alternate ending as well as complete a variety of insanely difficult jump-timing combos. Also, if you've already completed world 1, you're not able to achieve the alternate ending without replaying the entire game from scratch.
See also
External links
- Homepage where you can give The Man jewgolds if you're too stupid to get it elsewhere
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Braid is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |