Jeff Dunham: Difference between revisions
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'''Walter''' is an [[old]] [[you|dickhead]]. He's basically an excuse for [[fag|Jeff]] to stick his hand up a geezer's ass and make fun of his [[Pedophilia|future]]. | '''Walter''' is an [[old]] [[you|dickhead]]. He's basically an excuse for [[fag|Jeff]] to stick his hand up a geezer's ass and make fun of his [[Pedophilia|future]]. | ||
==Some other [[nigger|Black Guy]]== | ====Some other [[nigger|Black Guy]]==== | ||
[[Noone]] cares about him. | [[Noone]] cares about him. | ||
Revision as of 18:17, 22 December 2011
Jeff Dunham is a Comedy Central troll and anal-fister of a "comedian" who has appeared on numerous television shows, and is familiar to fantards for his three excruciating, mind-numbing TV specials: "Jeff Dunham: Arguing with My Ex-Wife About Who Gets Custody", "Jeff Dunham: Brink of Insanity", and "Jeff Dunham's Very Repetitive Christmas Special". His style has been described as "Achmed The Dead Terrorist" and "Attempting to push the phrase "I kill you!" as a forced meme on the audience". Describing his characters, Time Magazine observes, "This must be a joke. Surely a grown man wouldn't attempt to base his career off of playing with dolls." His show, entitled "The Jeff Dunham Show", was a terrible idea.
Dunham has been called "a pretty cool guy" by most reviewers, due to the fact that "eh does terrible puppet-routines and doesn't afraid of anything." Brink of Insanity received the best reviews of any DVD on Amazon in 2008, and Jeff Dunham's Very Repetitive Christmas Special was the most-watched telecast in history. In addition to being completely unfunny Dunham is also not really that good of a ventriloquist. Though many of his fan are impressed by his skillz, and say things like he's the "best ventriloquist I ever saw". But the reality is he's likely the only ventriloquist they've ever seen.
Early Life
Dunham grew up an only child, and never had anyone to play with when he was small. He has used puppets to communicate his feelings and emotions since he knew how to speak. He began ventriloquism, and a star was born. He considers it a learned skill, similar to stand-up comedy, but for people without a sense of worth.
Career ("I Kill You")
The entirety of Dunham's stand-up performance can be illustrated by: (>^.^(>O_o)>
Dunham appeared on Broadway in 2001. This early experience, in which he used characters like Achmed The Dead Terrorist, taught him the value of sticking to one joke, as the Achmed joke "I kill you" was the only joke received by audiences as lulzy. Therefore, Dunham spams it relentlessly during every performance, plugging it in whenever possible.
Dunham's sad excuse for a comedy act is the driving force behind the lulz-buzzkill that is Comedy Central. Clogging the network almost as frequently as Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Dunham's ventriloquist act rapes the network on a daily basis. After his pending divorce, he will hopefully become an hero.
A Typical Performance
Reaction To Performance
—(Comedy Central's Target Audience) | ||
Characters
Achmed the Dead Terrorist
Achmed the Dead Terrorist is a filthy, dirty muslim. Contrary to advertisements, he is the only puppet used during Dunham's act. The audience loves Achmed mostly because he did WTC. Get it right, you moron. 90% of this part of Dunham's act is Achmed randomly saying "Silence! I kill you" and "Infidels!". This is supposedly the stuff that generates lulz if you judge it based on the laughter of his audiences; however, scientists have yet to find any lulz actually contained in these phrases.
Peanut
Peanut is one of the many unused puppets he keeps locked away in his onstage toy chest. He serves solely as Dunham's rape-buffet, as Dunham is obviously a closet furfag.
Jose the Jalepeno On a Stick
Jose the Japeleno On a Stick is a Mexican, so he stays home to mow the lawn, trim the hedges, and dust the house while Dunham is on tour.
Bubba Jay
Bubba Jay loves beer, NASCAR, and incest. A puppet likeness of Larry the Cable Guy, he connects with the fanbase of Jeff Dunham, due to his taste in brainless humor.
Melvin the Superhero Guy
Melvin the Superhero Guy is a big-nosed, beady-eyed Jew (Is there any other kind?) with multiple speech impediments that cause him to not say anything right EVAR. A tremendous failure who should really gb2Auschwitz.
Walter
Walter is an old dickhead. He's basically an excuse for Jeff to stick his hand up a geezer's ass and make fun of his future.
Some other Black Guy
Noone cares about him.
The Jeff Dunham Show
Seemingly in an effort to prove humanity lost it's way, the show's premiere got huge ratings with 5.3 million viewers (the best premiere of a Comedy Central show ever). Many were shocked to find the show actually succeeded in being more unfunny than his stand up.
In an amazing turn of events even many of his fans didn't like the show either, and the ratings fell faster than WTC. In a showing of mercy Comedy Central canceled the show on December 29th, 2009. It's hoped that this is a sign that the tide is turning against hack comedians, but we're probably not that lucky.