Asalieri

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Asalieri being lazy as usual...

Eric Gaede (also known as Asalieri, also known as Ass-Celery), son of Bill Gaede[1], is a commie fat tub of lard that frequents places like 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica, takes from their internet reviewer articles (if he doesn't write them on his own), and then posts videos/comments about his thoughts on said internet reviewers (especially TGWTG). Because of this, he is one of the biggest meta-guros of youtube. There's only one MAJOR problem though, he's all bark and no bite.

Background

Asalieri is someone who used to for the most part speak his mind out and give his honest opinion towards something. Because of this, he's been banned from various circle jerk reviewer group sites (such as Reviewtopia, Blistered Thumbs and TGWTG). Now he makes videos/blogs/etc against these said groups, even though he wanted to be part of them in the first place.

Reviewing a reviewer

Reviewing a Reviewer (or RAR for short) is a little original series about him sitting in front of a camera, and reviewing an episode of an another reviewer's show, while throwing a little humor here and there to entertain the audience. Too bad most of his episodes involve the overdone Irate Gamer and Game Dude, but of course, there's tasteless fucks that loved it. Although there are a few other reviewers he's done.

Angry Joe

Asalieri and Angry Joe go together like mongooses and snakes. Asalieri can't stand the guy's mug and overacting in his reviews, not to mention being uninformative and seeing himself as a "voice" of gamers, there's many other reasons why he hates Joe, but many of those reasons can be found on Joe's article here on ED of course since he probably wrote it anyway. Angry Joe is perfectly aware of Asalieri's existence and opinions, and has banned him from Blistered Thumbs, as well as shuns anyone who is one of his mindless followers.

Asalieri has created a parody character known as Pissed Jose, who's basically Angry Joe, but even more annoying and is a poor attempt at being funny. Sadly enough, he is more entertaining to watch than Joe will ever be.

AVGN

A hundred years ago, Asalieri made two valid videos deconstructing a few of the Angry Video Game Nerd's reviews, as a part of his RAR series. In one video, he compared AVGN's declining quality with a lesser-known, yet up-and-coming, OCD nerd retro game reviewer named Roo. The video was taken down twice by Mike Mattei, AVGN's right-hand man and sexual sock puppet. Upon this, Asalieri wussed out and called a truce with Mattei -- which instantly drained Mr. Gaede of all credibility, especially in terms of his continual spouting (at least once per video) that he has no problem calling people on the Internet out on their stupidity and telling it like it is. The other video involved him riffing on the AVGN's horrendous 100th episode alongside Iron Liz's sister Razorfist, which should have been the first part of a final comparison between the AVGN & the Irate Gamer. When Mike Mattei saw the video, he proceeded to take it down in order to reminiscence the good old days. Naturally, Asalieri not only wussed out for the second time in a row & made another goddamned truce with Mattei (because the internet is srs bsns) but also never made the 'real' comparison video as promised, possibly in fear of Mattei taking it down as well. Way to go buddy.

Jfreedan

After all that bullcrap with AVGN, all was well and good, for a very short time, until Asalieri met Jfreedan.

Dan called out on one of Asalieri's friends (Joey Roo) for being a racist for using the term "JRPG" by making a 17 minute response video to Roo's JRPG video. This attack infuriated Asalieri and he made a commentary/parody video on that said video. Little did Asalieri knew that Jfreedan had a gigantic god-complex, and decided to take that video down for copyright, even though Jfreedan had used Roo's footage in his video. Asalieri, being the persistent one that he is, continued with the videos about him, but again they were taken down for the same reason, even if the video in question didn't contain any of Jfreedan's footage, that is until Asalieri's main account gets terminated. This caused a giant shit storm among fans of Asalieri (especially after Jfreedan celebrated his "demise" openly) and they started going after Jfreedan, but they too were swatted like flies. You can find out all about this war and Jfreedan, on his own article, since Asalieri and his drones helped make it.

This war lasts for around 6 months, until once again, the all bark and no bite Asalieri gives up and sucks Jfreedan's e-peen. This in turn alienates some of Asalieri's fanbase as they wised up and realized that he's a coward. Although there are still fans that'll stick to him and let him control their lives (or their tastes at least) to the end, like father like son.

Asalieri's Inner Circle (aka "That Fatass With The Beard")

Since Asalieri cannot join any of the shitty reviewer groups that exist today, he has pretty much created his own unofficial shitty circle group made up with a few of his friends/drones.

Hellsing920

Hellsing920 (real name Emer, and goes by He11sing920 now) is another talentless hack that has his own crappy RAR show known as "Reaction & Reviewer", that involves him sitting on his fat ass in front of a camera, showing his reactions towards a movie we don't even get to see, and gives his final opinion on it, wow that sounds original. Those that criticize him enough tend to disappear.

The Game Boob

The Game Boob (real name David Savage) is basically a parody of all the shitty internet reviewers that are out today, nothing to brag about. Despite Asalieri always treating him like shit, he always sticks with him to the end.

SkyblueMonty

Someone very unimportant, but seems to suck Asalieri's e-peen more than the usual drones though.

Asalieri Now

Asalieri is now pretty much a shell of his former self as he is now sick of getting involved in drama, as he'll block anyone who tries to start it or even speak negatively about him, pretty much becoming whom he hated. There are still those that'll still follow him to hell and back, even though it's highly likely he's never going to do anymore of those RAR's they love so much.

Asalieri Image Gallery

Images relating to him.

Gallery About missing Pics

• 
  Part One of the truthful blog about Asalieri, on Jfreedan's blog before he deleted it.
• 
  Part Two of the truthful blog about Asalieri, on Jfreedan's blog before he deleted it.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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See Also

• communist - His father at least, but he follows in his footsteps quite well.
• copypasta
• obesity
• talentless
• youtube nobody
• troll

Links

• http://www.youtube.com/user/Asalieri2 - His Youtube Channel
• http://www.youtube.com/user/pissedjose - His Pissed Jose Channel
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Gaede - Wiki on Bill Gaede

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