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[http://www.dragcave.net Dragon cave] is a conspiracy to glue all the [[16-year-old girl | Teenage Girls]] in the Internets to something other than their webcams run by a complete [[drama whore]] who goes by the name of Theodore J. Lipscomb (TJ).  It’s not really a [[The Game|game]] so much as it's really staring vacantly at a screen clicking madly on little pixel eggs while your soul is sucked into the void, and TJ is not so much a moderator as the [[Mangina|Queen Twat]], but [[shit_nobody_cares_about|who gives a shit about semantics anyway?]]
Dragoncave is a website where you adopt dragon pixels.


====The Average Dragon Cave User====
Nuff said.
[[Image:Sadpedobear.jpg|left|thumb|A heavy Dragon Cave user]]
Spotting a [[Zombie | Dragon Cave User]] is incredibly easy!


* Glassy, vacant eyes
- Love a dragoncave user. Notably, RetardedDragon.
* Dry skin and overall poor hygiene [[Image:Typicaldcuser.png|right|thumb|A typical Dragon Cave user.]]
* Incredible [[retard|intelligence levels]]
* Membership to [[Noobs|Compulsive Poster's Anonymous (CPA)]] [[Image:Donthurtdragons.png|right|thumb|How DARE you harm pixels!]]
* Constant droning on and on about [[shit|very important Dragon Cave stuff]]
* Extreme protectiveness of said [[shit|Very important Dragon Cave stuff]]
* [[Female]] and/or [[Jailbait|Jailbait]]. If they claim to be older, they usually are [[loli|seven]].
* Very sad [[Pedobear]] shaking his head and crying nearby.
* Will freak out at the mention of harming pixels
 
[[Image:YellowSnow-DC.jpg|right|thumb|Yellow Snow- Dragon Cave's favorite treat!]]
Elite Dragon Cave players have permanent [[PMS]]. Almost all of them have raging hardons for TJ and gladly suck his [[e-penis]] whenever he whips it out in front of them (which is frequently). They are even [[fucktard|Smarter]] than the normal Dragon Cave users and love to flaunt it at every single opportunity. Time not spent sucking E-Penis is spent roleplaying out [[Furfag|Awesome Dragon]] [[Mary Sue| Roleplay Characters]] notable for having zero physical descriptions and almost always the same personalities.
 
 
=Dragon Cave Forums=
[[Image:Dragcave.png|right|thumb|What happens when you tell the Secretz]]
 
The center of most of the Dragon Cave drama and thus the most entertaining part of the site.  It’s pretty bad when the forum wank is more entertaining than [[the game]].
 
Dragon Cave Players are encouraged to necro topics instead of creating new topics as, according to faux moderator Sabbita "[http://dragcaveforum.technoized.com/index.php?showtopic=26020 "It saves bandwidth"]. Apparently Bandwidth and server space are the same in Dragon Cave due to some [[Retard|quirk of computer physics]]. As a consequence, posting any thread, even if it only barely resembles a locked thread from three years ago, results in thread locking and possibly a big celebration concluded with the summoning of the [[Party Van]].
 
The admins and moderators are [[hugbox|very fragile]] and [[emo]]. They are also useless [[assburgers|Aspies]] noted for their [[special]] [[maturity]] levels and [[cunt|being total cunts]]. The loudest of them are notable [[Otherkin]] and are even more protective of the Dragon Cave bullshit than normal as they don't know the difference between [[Fuck you, I'm a dragon!|real dragons]] and shitty pixel art "dragons". Time not spent jerking it to [[furfag|Dragon "art"]] is spent bashing newbies into the ground for asking [[WTF]] is up with the total lack of information on how to play this game. God forbid someone let slip one of Dragon Cave's [[Bullshit|awesome secrets]] or say something that’s mean!
 
{{Q|If you have an issue with the site admin, take it to PMs. If you post it in the forums, everyone will jump into the thread, causing '''lag''' and stress and bad feelings, eventually resulting in the site admin '''feeling so worthless because everyone is insulting them that they just pack up and leave. | Sabbita/Layn}}
 
... so please, [[troll|coddle]] the Admins. They NEED you!
 
=The Rules of Dragon Cave=
Dragon Cave used to operate under a strict code of silence. Anyone who said anything about the many secrets of the dragon cave would be [[Voraphile|eaten by TJ]] and result in lots of [[Baw]]wwwing. While TJ has since pulled his head out of his ass just far enough to realize that trying to keep people from finding out what dragons come out of which eggs is [[retarded]], there are still some secrets which will cause much drama if discussed.
 
====Neglected Dragons====
One of the most coveted secrets of Dragon Cave is how to obtain a neglected dragon. These are popular because they are rare and there are seven [[shitty_art|wonderfully done sprites to collect.]] Revealing the secret of neglecteds or even asking about the secret of neglecteds will bring about much BAWW as the mods rush to lock the thread to keep the secret from getting out, despite the fact that half of the players know how to do it already and can freely spread the information via private message and places not on the forums, such as here.
 
'''[[shit_nobody_cares_about| THE HIGHLY-GUARDED SECRET ]](which will make sense only to the [[retards]] who play the game):'''
*Catch an egg from the cave and fog it. Record the exact time that you pick it up. This is your “Time of [[Death]].”
*Incubate the egg. This will remove a day from its time, meaning your Time of Death is exactly six days from the time you originally caught it.
*Wait until the egg is five minutes from death, then unfog it and pop it into as many fansites as you can.
*Give someone a teleport link to your [[cock|egg]], so they can catch it if it turns into a neglected.
*???
*PROFIT!!!!
 
====New Releases====
New releases are always a cause for alternate [[baw|bawwing]] and [[e-penis]] sucking on the forums. Bawwing because the fangirls with [[Dial_Up|shitty internet connections]] won’t be able to get the new and shiny eggs, and e-penis sucking because everyone else will be screaming about how fabulous the new art is and how amazing TJ is for making the site, coding the release, giving them new dragons, and generally existing.
 
The best ways to troll a new release thread are to post spoilers for the releases in the thread or give [[Constructive_Criticism|honest critique]] on the art. A list of dragons waiting to be released can be found [http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=35579 here,] however, it is accessible only by forum members in an attempt to preserve the sanctity of the [[bullshit|secrets]].
 
=Users of Note =
===TJ09: the Queen Twat===
If the game being a boring clickfest run by overprotective commies who are so afraid that you'll figure out water dragons hatch from blue eggs wasn't enough, behold the trainwreck that is TJ09 - the Queen Twat and creator of this atrocity.
 
"TJ09", AKA [http://dragcave.net/ T.J. Lipscomb], is a 17-year old from Shelton, Connecticut with a massive yet amazingly fragile ego. Most likely he is a [[furfag]], [[otherkin]] and most likely secretly a [[cuntboy]]. TJ's hobbies include stealing shitty pixel art from videogames, getting nailed for stealing shitty pixel art from videogames, [[Pedophilia|seducing teenage girls]] into making him shitty replacement art, and throwing tantrums when others don't do exactly as he says.
 
<center><gallery>
Image:TJ.jpg|Behold! The mighty [[unwarranted self-importance|God]] of DragonCave!
Image:TJ2.jpg|And TJ09 grabbed his computer and said, "Let there be DragCave," and there was a shitty pixel game.
Image:TJ09logo.png|This is the equivalent of the crucifix on DC.
</gallery></center>
 
=== Faux Mod Sabbita/Layn===
[[Image:NotSabbita.JPG|left|thumb|100 px|Not Sabbita]]
A [[unwarranted self importance| self-important]] [[loli|12 year-old girl]] who likes to think she is not only a moderator but [[Epic Fail|good at computers]]. After this article was found she changed her screenname to "Layn" to try to [[fail|throw off]] the [[trolls]]. This [[no|might have worked]] if she didn't keep the same avatar, attitude, posting style, [[Delete fucking everything|deleted]] every single one of her 5,000+ posts and [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|burned]] her Dragon Cave scroll. In fact, [[retard|using a picture of herself as her avatar]] didn't help.
 
Her main claim to fame is being even more [[paranoid]] and [[anal]] than 50 Elite Dragon Cave users combined! She flits around the forum to spew her opinion everywhere and actually think it means something, when really what most of the kids is roll their eyes and skip her posts.  Newbies think she's a mod. TJ's fangirls think she's a god. The rest of us think she needs to [[STFU|Shut the fuck up]].
 
When not being a [[drama whore]], Sabbita is busily churning out nauseatingly-bad dragon "sprites". She likes to [[BAWW|whine]] when it looks like her sprites are not the favorites in a thread because she's so [[hugbox|special]].
She also likes vandalizing this article with the [[fail|very clever]] alternate name of  [[User:Magicdragon|Magicdragon on ED]].
 
===Sabbita 2.0: Crazywargod===
 
[[Image:Crazyy.png|left|thumb|So [[lame|wise]], I'm gonna quote [[fucktard|myself]]!]]Crazywargod is like Sabbita/Layn 2.0. More [[butthurt|helpful]] and annoying than ever, crazywargod seems to think he is a mod and therefore has the [[BAWWW|authority]] to tell people when to shut up, continuing to attempt to get in the last word himself, however [[retard|unreadable]] those "last words" may be.
 
Often seen in [[retard|debate]] topics, he is adamant on starting shit he cannot finish, and when he finally realizes he has been [[logic|outwit]], he quickly [[BAWWW|backs off]] and demands all users do the same. After all, it's the only [[flame wars|respectful]] thing to do!eleventy!!
 
{{cg|Screenshots of Baw and Idiocy|Gallery of Baw and Shitfits|center|<gallery>
Image:Siggy.png|I'm so [[retard|clever]] I had to quote [[fucktard|myself]] here, too!
Image:Iwin.png|Because of my [[twat|nature]] I'm not getting the [[common knowledge|social skills]] I need!
Image:Blah.png|Agree to disagree or continue to listen to my [[emo|logic]]!
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Quote.png|Trolololo, I can't win this argument, so I'll just make shit up!
Image:Shutup.png|AGREE TO DISAGREE, BECAUSE I CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY, BAWWWW!
Image:Hearmerawr.png|You make as much sense as I do and this is not acceptable.
Image:Iamironman.png|Give up, because otherwise you're totally the [[rude|rude]] one!
Image:Posta.png|All those spaces are me [[flame|not talking about it]] and therefore [[Waaambulance|wiping my hands of the situation]]!
Image:Nu.png|You quoted me; I must [[BAWWW|respond]] instead of actually being done with it as I said!
Image:Bawwww.png|I [[ignorant|obviously know]] what sarcasm means!
Image:Look Like Rape.png|I [[stupid|understand how the world works]].
Image:LISTEN TO ME.png|We all have our opinions, so SHUT UP!
Image:This IS My Ignoring You Face.png|I am the only one with opinions!
</gallery>}}
 
=A Legacy of Drama=
[[Image:Spriters.png|left|thumb|Dragon Cave spriters are known for their [[crybaby|sensitivity]] and [[USI]].]]
The history of Dragon Cave is long and tumultuous, littered with many a flamewar and wankfest. Most of this bullshit revolves around [[shitty_art|artwork]] or TJ, or possibly both, though it will occasionally explode over something as simple as a bit of lag and downtime.
All art is copyright the [[loser|wonderful artists]] at [http://dragcave.net/ Dragon cave] and using it anywhere else or editing them without permission will result in [[flame_war|polite emails]] being sent requesting that you take them down. [[Fuck you|Thank you]].
===How to Treat your Users===
[[Image:TJname.PNG|thumb|right|All those eggs mean he's "[[asspie|special]]"]]
One day in the fall of 2008 the teenage girls got sick and tired of the Admins' trigger-happy banhammer and censorship of even the most basic aspects of play and decided to make a thread called [http://dragcaveforum.technoized.com/index.php?showtopic=26015 How To Treat your Users] with the hopes that TJ would mend his [[stupid|evil]] ways. The resulting emo comments and flamestorm reached a category five on the [[lulz]] scale. Here are a few choice excerpts from the horse's mouth.
 
{{Q|You know what? You're right. Clearly I cannot handle both what is going on in life right now without having my stress roll over into how I act on this forum. So instead, I'll abstain from visiting this forum until things calm down to the point where I can actually deal with people in a polite manner.''|TJ09 @ Nov 5 2008, 05:09 PM}}
 
{{Q|People. I did not post here to be a drama queen and attract everyone's pity. The OP has valid points, so stop flaming them. |TJ09 @ Nov 5 2008, 06:06 PM}}
 
The Site Admin TJ09 (T.J. Lipscomb) changed his title to '''Clearly too rude for this forum''' after locking the thread.
[[Image:TJ09support.png |thumb|left|Mark of a butthurt fangirl]][http://dragcaveforum.technoized.com/index.php?showtopic=26030 A great big Bawwwww] rose out of the forums after the How to Treat your Users thread was locked with all the girls scared that TJ had left the site 4EVA!!! Dozens of members started sporting "I support TJ" buttons and banners while bawwing extra loud at everyone who suggested that Mayyybe TJ was wrong and that maybe he needed to grow a pair and stop being such a [[twat]]. Dozens of "we support TJ", "We Love TJ" and "please come [[loli|screw]] us TJ!" threads cropped up, spamming out all notable content from the forums in most sections of the site. A few users pledged to leave the forums as well in honor of TJ's leaving the forums.
 
{{Q|you'd think they'd know better than to mess with the Great and All-Powerful TJ. | NivaTheDragonQueen}}
 
Though everyone hoped they would not return, most never left and neither did TJ. Instead he instead began lurking instead of moderating his own forums leading to massive spam and after listening to butthurt fangirls crying over him supposedly leaving the site 4EVA!! he posted a news post, [http://dragcaveforum.technoized.com/index.php?showtopic=28013 "Uhou Idcesbot!"], which was written in [[furfag|Saurian]] (no shit, TJ is so lame he makes announcements in the language from the [[furfag|Starfox]] games). This thread eventually became a rant fest of epic proportions once someone found a [[IRL|Real Life]] picture of TJ and posted it. TJ saw this, panicked and wiped the thread to try to remove all traces. He then proceeded to show how much more mature than the rest of the forum he is....
[[Image:UhouIdcesbot.jpg|thumb|right|Asshattery in Furfag-speak]]
Translation of the furfag-speak: '
{{Q|Well aren't you all reaaaaaaaaaaaaal mature. srsoy. Break my forum... psh.
''By the, this topic is far from record-setting. News topics have gotten to 2YY pages before.}}
 
This had absolutely nothing to do with the initial post into which the new "anouncement" was edited and everything to do with the fact that apparently the Dragon Cave forums handle [[popular|massive numbers of posts]] about as well as TJ handles his users. The display of asshattery and wiping the thread of all posts did not stem the tide of posts, however, and the thread was up to over 200 posts and rising within 20 minutes of the wipe, many of which basically could be summarized as [[Stfu]]. Feeling butthurt that his cry for attention and attempt to cover-up his ugly mug [[fail|failed]] to pan out as intended, TJ wiped the thread a second time, locking it, and completely shut down the forums. When the forums came back up online the above image had been [[deleted]].
 
===Pokemon Night===
[[Image:Dc pokemon night.jpg|right|thumb|[[April Fools]], Nintendo might sue!]]
On the night of [[April Fools]], [[Cuntboy|TJ]] decided to whip out his [[e-penis]] and replaced half the sprites on DC with [[Furries|Pokemon]] sprites. Much [[Baw|BAWWWWING]] arose as the Art Nazis realised that for the few minutes they used those sprites without credit, Nintendo would sue DC. [[Retard|Others]] simply [[Baw|Bawwwed]] about the admin's account getting hacked while some posted that they couldn't get to sleep because they were crying too hard about not knowing what was happening (unfortunately we couldn't retrieve this post as TJ [[Delete fucking everything|deleted the thread]], surprise). Yet no one stopped to realise [[Fail|it was April Fool's night anyway]].
 
===They Found Us!===
In the local [http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=39235 Art Nazi thread] ([[OMG]] posting the sprites with credit is BAD, m'kay, and results in polite mails to [[BAWW|STOP SPREADING TEH SECRETZ]]) they actually found and posted a link to this thread.
 
Thanks for the FREE traffic to all guide sites like this that would have otherwise gone unnoticed, thus preserving your secrets! [[retard| Thanks, geniuses]].
 
'''Updated''': Now there's a Wikia site dedicated to this [[crap]]. You can find the formerly forbidden secrets at [http://dragcave.wikia.com/wiki/Dragon_Cave_Wiki this site]. Queen Twat found his brain and realised other [[Retard | people]] had brains too and could actually work out what dragon came from what egg. About fucking time too.
 
====Preserved for posterity, some posts of interest.====
<div style="height:200px; overflow:scroll;">
''I don't think this can be reported just for being incredibly offensive, but it does have a few dragon stages and some information about them. http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/User:3tails/Dragon_Cave Just a warning: it is incredibly offensive. And sab - both you and TJ are mentioned personally.''
 
''If this has already been mentioned, my bad.'' -- SockPuppet Strangler Feb 10 2009, 04:37 PM
 
''.............''
''...............''
''............''
''who. do. I. talk. to?''
''I emailed the support contact. the disclaimer said that guides are meant to be "funny" and anything that goes beyond will be deleted. pointed out how offensive it is.'' -- sabbita/Layn Feb 10 2009, 04:40 PM
 
''I already brought it up with the mods, and the basic consensus is tacking encyclopedia dramatica would cause more trouble than it's worth. I personally would love to see that page gone though.'' -- Pokemonfan13 Feb 10 2009, 04:50 PM
 
 
''Ugh...ED...god I hate that site. It disgusts me, but there's really nothing we can do. It's like going to 4chan and telling them to stop acting like morons. Not going to happen.''
 
''and I believe that really....we shouldn't be going after these guides so maliciously...'''it's just making us all look like raging control freaks...fact is, we don't have power over the rest of the internet'''.
 
''If, like Komodo said, they're making profit off it somehow, then we can get them, but if they're just posting it in a forum and not making profit off it....nothing we can do. It's not like it's THAT difficult to figure out what turns into what anyway, and as long as they're not advertising the guides on here, they aren't really doing anything wrong, yes to us they are, but the fact is our ToS holds no value at another site.''
 
'''''If one gets super popular and becomes annoying, then we should go try to get it down, but we can't get rid of every guide, we shouldn't really be trying.''''' -- shikaru  Feb 10 2009, 05:45 PM
(this means SPREAD THE LINK!)
 
''.... T.T They're claiming the "educational" part of fair use in copyright law from what I can tell, and that is NOT what the educational thing is for. It's so that schools can copy material to hand out to students.'' -- Pokemonfan13  Feb 10 2009, 06:41 PM
 
'''''Oh, and I'm probably going to end up wiping most of this thread tomorrow when I have time''''' -- Pokemonfan13  Feb 10 2009, 08:01 PM (wuss Nazi.)
 
''sent an email to their (ED) "support" email..... and guess what? their "support" email, for you to contact in case you have a problem with it being "insulting" rather than "funny".... doesn't exist! lol!'' -- sabbita/Layn Feb 12 2009, 01:42 PM
 
''can I ask a question? isn't it kind of silly to post the links to all these egg guides when you don't want people to know what they're getting??'' -- manticore Feb 13 2009, 10:02 PM
 
''You know guys, it is best to ignore ED. It's run and maintained by Anon, and therefore there is no way to actually get them to stop doing whatever it is they feel like doing. Any attempt to "retaliate" against them only results in a longer ED article and higher potential for us becoming targeted for a raid.''
 
''Though it should be noted that whoever wrote the article is clearly not familiar with the rules of the Internet. It claims that this forum is full of teenage girls, and one of the Rules is that '''[[furry|there are no girls on the Internet]]'''. :V'' -- Lythiaren Feb 13 2009, 08:31 PM
 
''QUOTE (Loli @ Feb 15 2009, 03:44 AM)
How in the world is that cheating? If we had some magical program that auto hatched eggs or changed what came out of it that would be a cheat. It's called a guide for a reason genius! If you don't want people to know without hatching their own eggs you might as well block access to all scrolls too. Most people would be able to put two and two together and realize what adults and hatchlings come out of what eggs after seeing a few scrolls. Hell that's how I decided on my own eggs in the first place.''
 
''QUOTE (Layn @ Feb 15 2009, 12:51 AM)
the point of the cave is to learn what egg hatches into what on your own. that is how tj designed it. Posting guides is against this, as they reveal to anyone what becomes what, and takes away teh challenge that is the game. learning what tehy hatch into still takes some thought.''
 
''Do you even read what you post or are you just parroting that from everyone else?'' -- Seiken no Hisui in reply to Sabbita/Layn and Loli  Feb 15 2009, 03:57 AM
 
[[delete fucking everything|'''Thread Wipe!!''']] with rewrite of first post:'' This is not a thread for discussion. Just post the link or links in question and leave. Do not respond to others' posts unless you have pertinent information to add. '''If you find dragcave art on a website and it is not being posted as a collectible or in strict relation to dragcave (as a scroll link, etc) please post a link to it here''' or report it to the site if it is one such as deviantart where they will remove it. Even if it has a "from dragcave" tag somewhere it is still likely to be theft, as you are not allowed to use dragcave art without permission from the artist (and the artists are not likely to have given permission). This is especially true if the poster has edited it and is not giving credit. I greatly dislike egg guides, but '''as long as they are not claiming to have permission and there aren't any adds on the guide don't bother posting them'''. They're more trouble to take down than they're worth. '' -- This post has been edited by Pokemonfan13 on Feb 15 2009, 08:07 PM (contradict much?)
</div>
 
{{cg|Gallery of Paranoia and [[BAWW]]|DCgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:Determine_threat.JPG |How "threats" are determined...
Image:Good_Game-you_loose.JPG |[[Pwnage]] by ToS. [[GG]], you loose, DC.
Image:DC_fails_by_law.JPG | Further proof they are made of [[fail]].
Image:Write_congress.JPG | Write congress- Sabbita will Proofread.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:CEO downgrades.JPG | [[unwarranted self-importance]] alert!
Image:Forumlulz.jpg | if Ads = profit The [[interwebs]] is [[so Cash|rich]]!
Image:The_CEO_strikes_Back.JPG | The CEO strikes back
Image:DCTrolls.jpg | Second thought, don't write Congress.
Image:Warns.jpg | It took you this long to figure out [[loli]] is a troll?
</gallery>}}
 
===St Patrick's Day and the "Lagmonster"===
Many [[Furfags|members]] decided to join the usual [[Retard|Elite DC players]] in awaiting to see if [[Cuntboy|TJ]] would release new shitty pixel art. Much to their dismay this didn't happen, but instead, having so many [[Furries|people]] on the site caused DC to have a [[Fail|server crash]]. [[Baw|Bawwing]] occured once more as people could not check up on their dragons and even more [[Baw|bawwing]] occured when their pixels got [[Raped|killed]] as the server was down for 2-3 weeks. Once TJ restored the server though, the [[16-year-old_girls| fangirls]] furiously sucked his massive [[e-penis]]:
 
{{Q|The dragon god TJ is all merciful... if you can bring Cherry Blossoms back, I will worship/idolize you forever...| Moonfeather13 Jul 23 2009, 04:05 PM}}
 
Asshattery at its greatest:
 
<div style="height:200px; overflow:scroll;">
''You enter the cave as you did daily to adopt a dragon hatchling or egg, adding to your family. But what you find were no dragons, no eggs, only something else, something much more sinister than the annoying Lagmonster Dragon you tackled once before. Piles of adult dragon and hatchling bones scattered about as well as egg shells of various dragons. A low growl is heard as you enter the cave and soon you find your path blocked by a sinister dragon that was feared by all. Sharp fangs gnawing in flesh as claws ripped apart everything in its path. Solid datachip wings were folded to its back as its red eyes of death make you shriek in terror....you were staring into the eyes of none other than the Datamonster!''
 
''All was thought to be lost for the beloved dragons and there was thought to be no hope in rescuing them, no matter how hard the owners tried. The Datamonster was just too strong! Just then, a knight stood out amongst them all by the name of TJ09.''
 
''Raising his trusty sword-of-recovering, TJ09 took a mighty swing at the Datamonster's vile bloated stomach. The awesome power of sword rent asunder the evil beast hide, releasing and reviving all the dragons trapped within. The Datamonster let out a final mighty roar of anguish, clawing at the sky as if trying return the escaping dragons to his gaping maw. Having released the dragons TJ09 made a mighty leap and with one sure sweep of his magnificent sword beheaded the vile Datamonster, ending it's threat once and for all!''
 
''But, unbeknown to TJ and the revived dragons, The ferocious and evil Datamonster still clung to the mortal coil. As the brave knight walked away, the cybernetic beast's limbs began to twitch, nearly imperceptible to the eye. Then the camera panned in on the creature's severed head, as it's glowing red eye slowly opened up and narrows, vowing to seek revenge.''
 
''TJ09 is now a hero! He lead the way as all the dragons returned home to their beloved families. The owners cried with joy as they were reunited with their beloved dragons. TJ09 smiled, knowing the journey was long, the battle was hard but all in all, it was worth it all. With the mission completed, the brave and heroic knight disappeared into the light, awaiting for the next time his help would be needed.'' - [http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=62313 Aug 12 2009, 01:50 PM]
</div>
 
=== Christmas '09 ===
Twas the night before Christmas, and every [[retard|member]] was shitting their pants in anticipation of the long-awaited Christmas dragon of 2009.  But, it was soon discovered that something was amiss!  There was not just one dragon to be had, but 3 [[shitty art|beautiful]] [[recoloring|recolors]].  The [[furfags|members]] rejoiced, until realizing that they could each get only one, and [[BAWW|they couldn't choose which]].
 
This was a [[Oh_noes|catastrophe]]! Now they would [[nevar|NEVAR]] have all the dragons!  What was to be done?  Why, what Dragoncave does best; whine about it. The members banded together, swarming from [[goatse|far and wide]], and began to baww loudly in every forum thread that remotely touched on the topic in the hopes that [[cuntboy|TJ]] would [[lol|realize the error of his ways]] and revert the dragons back to one color.  Sadly, most of these threads have been [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|deleted]].  Their [[lulz]] is lost to us forever.
 
Some [[retard|clever]] IRC [[basement dweller|dwellers]] thought they'd be [[an hero|heroes]] and decided to figure out [[it is a mystery|how the site assigned versions of the dragons to different scrolls]].  When their brains gave out after a few minutes of such strenuous detective work, TJ stepped in and [[naked|revealed to all]] how it was done:
 
<div style="height:150px; overflow:scroll;">
''(2:39:30 PM) Xylene: Is there still a way to tell what your scroll number is? SS was curious.''
 
''(2:39:38 PM) Trilby: I think my dog just fell up the stairs.''
 
''(2:39:44 PM) reddragon420: lol''
 
''(2:39:52 PM) dejavugurl: lol''
 
''(2:39:56 PM) Eruru: XD''
 
''(2:39:57 PM) Purpletail: ..and my last gold give me a daydream....ahh well''
 
''(2:40:00 PM) Purpletail: its cool''
 
''(2:40:08 PM) bluebell_rose: xD, I has in my sig, my id scroll''
 
'''''(2:40:12 PM) TJ09: Xylene, technically yes.'''''
 
'''''(2:40:20 PM) TJ09: If you look at your cookies'''''
 
''(2:40:24 PM) ***dejavugurl pokes her blue stripe egg and albino''
 
''(2:40:26 PM) Trilby: I hear a thud on the stairs and he comes in and flump on his blanket all "hrmph">''
 
''(2:40:29 PM) Trilby: .*''
 
'''''(2:40:30 PM) TJ09: There's one that contains the ID of the user that's logged in.'''''
 
''(9:55:30 AM) Diana: How -did- you code that?''
 
''(9:55:31 AM) dejavugurl: I'd prefer the gold or the gold with red and green''
 
''(9:55:32 AM) Kallistrate: same, Cinnabar''
 
''(9:55:33 AM) Diana: It sounds complex.''
 
''(9:55:34 AM) Diablo: but whatever''
 
''(9:55:43 AM) Odie: i would have much preferred each dragon to be completely random''
 
''(9:55:44 AM) Diablo: these will never be my favorite dragon''
 
''(9:55:45 AM) KitN: i would be dissapointed to get a solid gold wing set''
 
'''''(9:55:49 AM) TJ09: It's really simple: User ID mod 3.''''' --Dragoncave [[IRC]]
</div>
 
The mystery was solved!  The [[furfags|members]] discussed this new development avidly while continuing to baww about how much they [[H8r|hated]] what color they got.  Suddenly, from out of nowhere, TJ pulled out his mighty [[e-penis]] and proceeded to [[B&|ban]] several of the people talking about it, including one of his own [[OP|OPs]].  The reason stated was that "reverse engineering went against Dragoncave's rules", despite the fact that [[fail|it was TJ who told them how it was done in the first place.]]  The remaining members, furious at their admin for being such a [[fucktard]], proceeded to whip up a shitstorm of [[FYIAD|rage]] and [[BAWW]] that was not to be outdone until [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|Dovealove's bitchfit]] a less than a month later.  Eventually, the IRC settled down and everyone resumed jerking off to the new pixel dragons.
 
=== Mighty Artist Bitchfit Part 1: Dovealove ===
 
Dovealove, the 'artist' with the most shitty pixel art on the site, had a fight with TJ and decided she would remove all the art she ever contributed to the site. Not that we're complaining, less shitty art the better! However, trouble ensues:
 
{{Q|To request that I pull all my sprites, thank you.
 
For clarification: Including my incave ones. Collaborative works would be best discussed in pm, depending on how much the dragon was shared.|Dovealove}}
More [[lulz]] was created on the thread when the mods themselves began bickering in the thread. TJ, being the [[prick]] he is, treated the [[16 year old girls]] like [[shit]] because being fangirls, they would never stop sucking that [[e-penis]].
This seems more like a repeat of the past, [[Dragon_Cave#How_to_Treat_your_Users|"How to treat your users"]]. Sources have revealed that [[Cunt| Attention-Whore]] [[twat]] TJ had tried to dominate and control everything on the site and obviously couldn't handle it. This is also why he is the only admin on the forum and why no one else has the amount of eggs under their name as him.
 
<strike>http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=81010&st=0</strike> Baleeted, see the first page of the thread [http://web.archive.org/web/20100211173714/http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=81010&st=0 here] and a related post in her [[DevianTART]] journal [http://laughing-dove.deviantart.com/journal/29996106/ here].
 
And of course, the mods have locked this to prevent bawwwing because their egos are just too fragile to handle it. And before they [[delete fucking everything]]:
 
{{cg|Gallery of More Bawwwing|DCgallery2|center|<gallery>
Image:DC_fangirldrama1.PNG |I'm leaving!
Image:DC_fangirldrama2.PNG |TJ gets a slap to the face.
Image:DC_fangirldrama3.PNG | Here comes Hitler.
Image:DC_fangirldrama4.PNG | More [[fail]].
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:DC_fangirldrama5.PNG | Rantfest gets bigger when mods join in!
Image:DC_fangirldrama6.PNG | [[Baw| Rawr]] says the mod
Image:DC_fangirldrama7.PNG | [[Delete fucking everything]]!!
Image:DC_fangirldrama8.PNG | As expected.
Image:Lyth_complaint_dragcavdrama.png | What the fangirl considers drama.
</gallery>}}
 
Later on it was discovered this was all an [[fail| elaborate]] plan to manipulate the [[retard| DC users]] into complaining and giving the “artists” more rights. As stated by [[twat| Marrionetta]]:
 
''"Request denied. Get back in the spriting kitchen, woman." - Jan 30 2010, 07:31 PM''
 
=== Mighty Artist Bitchfit Part 2: Lythiaren ===
 
In March of 2010, the [[shitty_art|shit]] hit the fan again when someone dared to say something about a sprite that wasn't a [[piss|golden shower]] of praise. Spriter [[Attention_whore|Lythiaren]], creator of the [[gay|frill]] [[Fuck_you_im_a_dragon|dragons]], was displeased.
 
{{Q|*sigh* So much spritebashing. Very well guys, you've forced my hand.
 
TJ, if/when you read this:
 
Please retire the Frill dragon from the cave and render all specimens infertile. There's clearly enough hate out there to make this a reasonable decision, and this is NOT the first time I've clicked on a thread and found it degenerating into people whining about how much they hate the sprite. Even fellow spriters hate the sprite.
 
Have fun guys, you've murdered the male Frill.|Lythiaren, blaming others for her "murdering" her [[shit|creation]].}}
 
Almost as soon as this post was made, the fangirls of DC swarmed all over her with the praise and attention she was looking for. Lythiaren was undeterred, though, as she was now bathing in the adoration that such typical attention whores crave and she wasn't about to give that up:
 
{{Q|Not anymore. See above. I will not be convinced by puppy eyes and pleading this time. The male Frill is dead. I've dealt with enough spritebashing in the past few days, and tried to tolerate more than enough on the Frill alone ever since they first started clogging the AP months ago. I will not stand for it any longer.}}
 
{{cg|Gallery of EVEN MORE Bawwwing and paranoia|DCgallery3|center|<gallery>
Image:FrillWank1.png | The post that murdered the pixels.
Image:FrillWank2.png | You've forced my BAWWWWW.
Image:FrilLWank3.png | PPL SAY MEEN THING. :(
Image:FrilLWank4.png | How dare you criticize our precious pixels!
Image:FrillWank5.png | Typical paranoid reaction to common sense and compliments.
</gallery>}}
After the announcement, everyone who wasn’t licking Lythiaren’s e-clit or making crappy signature banners was furiously trying to collect as many of the pixels as they could. The pixels were finally retired, and after a few more weeks the drama died down. To this day, even mentioning the frill wank will cause people to whine and post about how sorry they feel for Lythiaren.
 
=Trolling Dragon Cave=
Being so full of wankers and drama whores, Dragon Cave is ripe for the trolling. Here are some easy, fun ways to fuck with Dragon Cave users that will guarantee plentiful and beautiful lulz.
*Go into a thread in Dragon Requests and edit somebody's precious pixel [[crap|creation]] without asking. It doesn't matter if you improve it or [[Divide by zero|make it worse]], just touching it without asking is grounds for causing drama. If the spriter asks you politely to not edit their work, argue with them and insult their work to get a rise.
*For even greater lulz, make a thread in Suggestions/Requests with edits to an in-cave sprite (remember, do NOT ask permission!). Again, lulz are guaranteed whether you make the sprite better or worse than it was, but improve it (not hard) for even more self-important drama. Make sure to arguewith, and assert that you improved the art to, people who bitch at you!
*During holiday releases, the forums are full of lazy fanbrats looking for people to log into their scroll and catch eggs for them. Volunteer to be a catcher for one of the whiny noob retards, and after the gullible noob gives you their password - and believe me, in their desperation for pixel dragons, plenty will - change the password, then kill or release their rarest dragons (holiday dragons, golds, silvers, tinsels, neglecteds, and Guardians of Nature are good candidates) or, if they’re eggs or hatchlings, abandon them. TJ won’t do anything to repair the damage, since giving away your password is against the rules, so the moron’s loss is permanent. It's best if you can manage to do this to several lazy fanbrats before getting banned. The more the whinier!
*In the General Discussion forum, post anything with a conservative/Republican/Redneck bend to it. Insult [[homosexuals]], [[Transgender|trannies]], [[niggers|non-whites]], [[Jews]], or pretty much any other of the Democrats' pet "minority" groups; say [[abortion]] is wrong, [[Jesus]] is right, and that anyone who disagrees is going to Hell. You're sure to get [[at least 100]] of the local gay/nigger/tranny/Jewish/all of the above [[assburgers|aspies]] jumping all over the bait.
 
 
 
 
 
{{cyberpets}} 
 
[[Category:People]] [[Category:Sites]] [[Category:Furries]] [[Category:Gaming]]

Revision as of 09:43, 17 February 2012

Dragoncave is a website where you adopt dragon pixels.

Nuff said.

- Love a dragoncave user. Notably, RetardedDragon.

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