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| [[Image:Blind-kittah-sez-u-needz-a-shave.jpg|right|thumb|They really do.]]
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| [[Image:FurryNeckbeard.jpg|right|thumb|Typical comment made by a neckbeard.]]
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| A '''Neckbeard''' (also known as a '''neard''', a [[portmanteau]], or the '''bloatee''') is the strange under-the-chin hair growth only seen on [[fat|fatties]], [[weev|drug addicts with a messianic complex]] and [[UNIX]] programmers. It is derived from the "Abe Lincoln" (not to be confused with the [[Sex move#A|sex move]] as the neckbearded have [[virgin|no relation to sex]]). The purpose of this beard is to delineate the [[neck]] from the [[chin]] when the two have merged due to obesity, forming a [[dickneck|bullfrog neck]]. Wearers hope it will make them look like a badass from ''[[Hackers]]'' or ''[[The Matrix]]'', yet it merely reminds observers of fucking chin lack.
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| A neckbeard is to beards as the comb-over is to hair. It is never, ever [[cool]].
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| All neckbeards are ''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]''-obsessed losers, and vice versa. [[It is a mystery|It is not known]] at this time whether growing a neckbeard causes one to play ''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]'' or playing ''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]'' causes one to grow a neckbeard.
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| ==Holmesbeard==
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| [[Image:holmesbeard.jpg|center|thumb|Behold the Holmesbeard!]]
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| ==Chainsaw Beard==
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| [[Image:Chainsaws.jpg|thumb|CHAIN SAWS!]]
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| Like the neckbeard, the Holmesbeard is made of hair that does not go very high on the face, but that is where the similarities end. The Holmesbeard is worn by men such as [[John Holmes]], who had a foot-long [[cock]]; made millions by fucking [[over 9000]] [[pussy|bitches]] and teaching them [[bitches don't know|'bout his dick]]; had a foot-long cock; was skinny as a rail; and most badass of all, had a foot-long cock. Hence, Holmesbeard wearers are the extreme opposite of [[you|neckbeards]] and should be confused with real neckbeards [[never|as often as a neckbeard will get you laid]]. Anyone who confounds the two is a [[fucktard]].
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| {| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
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| |<center><big>'''What to Do If Someone Calls Your Holmesbeard a Neckbeard'''</big></center><br>
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| <center><youtube>1fuDDqU6n4o</youtube></center>
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| <br>
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| {{quote|Don't you ever talk that way to me. [[Nevar!]]|The Captain telling [[you]] not to mix up the Holmesbeard and the neckbeard}}
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| |}
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| ==Chinstrap==
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| [[Image:chinstrappy.jpg|thumb|right| You're [[doing it wrong]]]]
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| Unlike the neckbeard, the '''Chinstrap''' style beard consists of a thin band (strap) of facial hair that goes from one sideburn, under the chin, and up to the other sideburn, for no apparent reason other than to dish out a cheap round of the [[LULZ]] to everyone apart from its owner. No hair is on the cheeks, or the neck. The 'pre-pubescent boys neckbeard', the Chinstrap exists to make the wearer [[gay|menacing]] and/or [[dumb|manly]]. It never works. Worn by those who cannot grow a full neckbeard, the chinstrap is either closely cropped to the face, or let to grow wild and free, proving the unadulterated manliness of the [[fag]] who wears it.
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| Many photographs of chinstrap-wearing [[pedophiles]], [[furfags]], [[gamers]], [[wiggers]], and other Internet trash are primary examples of [[Internet disease]]. The camera angles take advantage of the magical concealing power of the chinstrap to hide the bulbous pouch of fat underneath the chinstrapper's chin, for example.
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| [[bullshit|It is a well known fact that kids with neckbeards get way more pussy than men with real beards.]]
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| Although not by much, a Chinstrap is preferable to a [[neckbeard]], like a kick to the balls is more preferable to hitting your [[cock]] with a hammer.
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| ==Failbeards Gallery==
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| {{cg|Failbeards|Link|center|<gallery>
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| Image:Rooftop_Jillman.jpg|Just chillen with a good friend
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| Image:Neckbearddouche.jpg|Hey ladies! Its the Bloatee Floatee
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| Image:Neckbeardsexybeast.jpg|One day [[you|you]] too could be a [[ugly|sexy]] [[Cthulhu|beast]] like this
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| Image:Neckbeardpussy.jpg|Waiting for his turn to roll the [[D&D|36-sided die]].
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| Image:Feels_good_neckbeard.jpg|Being [[fat]] and having a neckbeard, [[feels good man]].
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| </gallery>|<gallery>
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| Image:Neckbeardihazit.jpg
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| Image:italian_stallion_neckbeard.jpg
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| Image:Glocknroll.PNG|A [[Butthurt]] [[Steam|Virgin]]. Hates Macs, Bathing.
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| Image:Neckbeardfaggot.jpg|A Neckbeard filled with cheetoh dust and [[smegma]]
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| Image:Ridethelobster2.jpg|A [[fat]] loser in the early stages of the disease.
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| Image:fyre.jpg|Note the disgusting blue veins and fresh stretch marks.
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| Image:Wyrmlingneckbeard.jpg|A wyrmling neckbeard and avid [[Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeon Master]].
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| Image:Orton_and_sweet_tits.jpg|Despite the failbeard, [[Handegg|Denver Broncos starting quarterback]], Kyle Orton, still manages to get some pussy.
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| Image:IRLsasquatch.JPG|Is this [[TheAmazingAtheist|thing]] even human?
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| Image:Epic neckbeard.jpg|Most [[epic]] neckbeard
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| Image:NECKBEARD_HERRMANN.jpg| Typical [[basement dweller]] after growth of neckbeard
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| Image:1190707701798.jpg|This neckbeard actually believes he's cool. He is mistaken.
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| Image:MatriarchBenezia_NeckbeardMaskFAT.jpg|Matriarch Benezia agrees; you can't hide the fact that you're [[Fat|FAT]].
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| Image:Thehunger.jpg|This neckbeard can devour [[you]].
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| Image:JimboNeckbeard.jpg|<s>[[TOW]]'s fearless leader sporting a fearless neckbeard.</s> prime example of [[doing it wrong]]
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| Image:Richard wagner.jpg|[[Gay|Faustian]] neckbeard
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| Image:Neckbeardman.JPG |<s>A [[pedophile]] neckbeard</s> ALL neckbeards are pedo neckbeards!
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| Image:Georgerr.PNG|The neckbeard is spreading to [[old people]] like a [[swine flu|virus]]
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| Image:Vheads_neckbeard.jpg|A [[Vloggerheads]] user proudly displaying his neckbeard.
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| Image:Zopilote.jpg|At first glance it does indeed look like some strange parasite about to feed. And it's wearing glasses.
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| Image:Cyraka.jpg|This guy is [http://cyraka.deviantart.com/ reminiscent] of [[Chris-chan]]. Also, his [http://www.youtube.com/user/LordShadrach YouTube fail].
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| Image:Neckbeard02311.jpg|A [[typical]] [[lonely|loathesome]] [[weaboo]] faggot
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| Image:SNeckBeard.JPG|
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| Image:Wigger_chinstrap.jpg|[[Wigger]], [[guido]], or [[combo|wigguido]]?
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| Image:DiGiTiLsOuL_blue_Steel.jpg|A prime example of chinstrap use: [[DiGiTiLsOuL]]
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| Image:Ortiz_chinstrap.jpg|[[fat|Double-chin]] concealment [[FAIL]]
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| Image:chinstrapping.jpg|A [[webcam]] will do nicely
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| Image:tyneckbeard.jpg|Wrap-around
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| Image:Neckbeard_ew.jpg|Made from pubes.
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| Image:NECKBEARD.jpg|Fail. [http://www.facebook.com/#!/Scuba.Steve.Esq]
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| Image:4512564124.jpg|that hat does wonders for your neck beard faggot
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| </gallery>}}
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| ==See also==
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| *[[Silk Screen Goku Shirt]]
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| *[[Slashdot]]
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| *[[Warhammer 40k]]
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| *[[Basement-dweller]]
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| *[[Weev]]
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| ==External Links==
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| *[http://www.solardeathray.com/neck.html A loathsome pro-neckbeard website]
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| *[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09072005 Achewood] weighs in
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| *Fat [[Fable]] idiot [http://community.lionhead.com/forums/thread/2865424.aspx refuses to shave until the game comes out]
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| {{language}}
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