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| | #REDIRECT[[Maru the most Gratious the most Merciful]] |
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| == The Legend of Maru ==
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| ==== The birth of Maru ====
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| [[File:Challenge.jpg|thumb|700px|left|Maru's birth]]
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| Maru (まる) is a demi-good. There are numberous stories about his birth, but the most accepted says that he was the unwanted result of [[catnarok]], the epic fight between [[Longcat]] and | |
| [[Tacgnol]]. This longly awaited cosmic battle had been told since the beginning of time. It had been unavoidable since the universe and the galaxies had born. So at the chosen [[caturday]] of 2006 the two epic competitors, [[Longcat]] bringer of light, bringer of shaved [[pussy|pussies]] and [[Tacgnol]] bringer of darkness, spreader of AIDS, finally met at the holy place of catztiris, which is the earth deepest point under the suburbs of Los Angeles. Angels began to sign and dark creatures began to roar as the two got closer and began to attack. The fight was incredibly tense, [[Longcat]] was using his special powers to bring shaved pussies from all over the universe to the place of the fight through a dimension gate, that squirted so much pussy juice over Tacngol that he wasnt able to see anything. But Tachngol was using his natural abilities - his natural color of black that raised sympathy towards him in [[niggers]] - and he teleported niggers with UZI's and AK's from the above laying Los Angeles to catztiris to fight for him.
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| {{quote|
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| Longcat and Tacgnol will meet at the chosen ground on Caturday and begin their long, sacred battle. This battle between light and darkness will endure for a thousand æons, but the passage of time will seem like just a few seconds. It will be an even match, a purrfect balance, so neither can fail. It will thus be an epic win, as the world is cleansed of faggotry and AIDS|unknown Maya author
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| }}
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| When the holy battle had been going on for 7 months, 7 days, 7 hours and 7 minutes [[Longcat]] realized that neither of them could win the fight since their powers are too balanced. Awaken to this fact Longcat prepared for a hyperspace jump to go back to the endless universe, ending the fight for once and forever with no result, but Tacgnol didn't let him do that. He wanted to continue the fight until one of them is fallen, if needed until the end of time and withold Longcat from jumping out to the hyperspace. As the two collided with the speed of light and power of a thousand supernova explosions, the ground was shaken and all the universe was filled with the sound of the gigantic clash, and the two rised to the surface and came up in a peaceful suburban area of Los Angeles. As it would have been against the laws of the universe to let humans know about the existence of [[Longcat]] and [[Tacngol]], the two titans prepared for a final attack, before they had to dissapear. This attack happened in the billionth of a billionth of a billionth of a second but had a trillion times more energy than the entire universe has used sinced the beginning of time. A bizarre mixture of darkness and holy light projected to the earth as the two unleashed all their powers towards each other. These powers were so huge that both Longcat and Tacngol lost a very tiny part of their soul. As their energy merged with their parts of souls, it give birth two a new holy creature, Maru. However Maru was unwanted but the two gods didn't have time to destroy him, since they needed to dissapear. The remaining of the energy gave the newborned Maru an incredible speed, pushing him to the ground, penetrating the whole earth, and ending up on the other side, in [[Japan]].
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| ==== The early life of Maru ====
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| [[File:chinahill.jpg|thumb|400px|right|The sacred mountains in Japan where Maru ended up]]
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| At that time Maru was shapeless. He was just a bunch of energy and life. However as lost his speed and stopped the first thing he had seen was an ugly fat cat. Maru instantly copied the shape of it as a camouflage that protects him from the anger of Longcat and Tacngol. Since Maru was created by the powers of two gods, meaning he also had special powers. He could manipulate anybody to do whatever he wanted, and he could also fly and teleport. However, he couldn't enjoy his superpowers since he needed on the highest peaks of Japanese mountains to avoid found by either [[Longcat]] or [[Tacgnol]]. However the visit couldn't be prohibited. After 7 days 7 hours and 7 minutes Longcat has found Maru. Maru was afraid Longcat wanted to destroy him, but Longcat let him choose. He could choose either to face Longcat's anger or give up his superpowers. Poor Maru realized he didn't have a choice, since facing Loncgat would have lead to his total destruction. So he gave up his superpowers and therefore he was trapped in the body of a chubby, ugly [[cat]]. He was spending his days doing nothing and had to hunt in order not to die of hunger. This life was definitely not the one Maru wanted. But luckily, the change has soon come. In 2008 he jumped up to a truck while chasing a wild dick, that took him into a huge city. This was very new for Maru. He realised that people love him and give him food, and he doesnt need to do anything to survive, he can be as lasy as a [[sand niggers|rich arab shemale]] all day.
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| ==== Maru choses an owner ====
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| Maru was looking for the [[purrfect]] owner for days, searching all around the town. He wanted someone rich and famous, who provides him luxury and as much food as he can't even imagine. However this dream couldn't come true. Tacngol who was still looking for Maru has found him 7 months 7 days 6 hours and 7 minutes after Maru met with Longcat. Maru who had absolutely no special powers than, had to escape, and ran into a house of a geek [[china|Chinese]] idiot. This guy really liked Maru and kept him as a pet, and Maru couldn't do anything since if he had leaved the house [[Tacngol]] would have killed him. So that's how Maru and his current owner met.
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| ==== Maru nowadays ====
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| Maru has become an avarage pet cat just another ugly, fat, stupid Scottish Fold. His nerd owner even created a [[YouTube]] channel for him, and keeps uploading videos of him doing pointless and stupid things, which some people consider as "[[fisting|funny]]". Poor Maru now is a demi-good who hasn't got any superpowers, meaning he is just like for example [[limecat]].
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| [[File:Cats_-_Maru_-_01.gif|thumb|400px|left|Maru in his current form]]
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| {{quote|Meuw meuwh meuwh mur mur purr hur muh meuw meuw meuw muhr murh purr|Maru the most Gracious, the most Merciful}}
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| <br><br><br><br><br><br>
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| == Maru's YoutTube channel ==
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| Maru's [http://www.youtube.com/user/mugumogu youtube channel] was created 4 years ago, and by now it has more than 168 million views and 222,000 subscribers. Videos featuring Maru have an average of 100,000 views each (people seem to be really boored) and he is mentioned often in print and televised media discussing Internet celebrities. And stupid humans suspect nothing about Maru the most gratious, the most merciful's real story. Here are some example videos.
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| <youtube>hPzNl6NKAG0</youtube>
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| <youtube>tHwntRpLobU</youtube>
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| <youtube>TbiedguhyvM</youtube>
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| == Maru's Gallery ==
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| <gallery>
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| File:maru1.jpg|Maru in his original form
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| File:maru2.jpg|This is Maru
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| File:maru3.jpg|This is Maru
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| File:maru4.jpg|This is Maru
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| File:maru5.jpg|This is Maru
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| File:Maru_box.jpg|This is Maru
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| </gallery>
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| </center>
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| == See Also ==
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| *[[Longcat]]
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| *[[Tacgnol]]
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| *[[catnarok]]
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| *[[caturday]]
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| == External Links ==
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| [http://sisinmaru.blog17.fc2.com Maru's Blog]<br>
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| [http://www.youtube.com/user/mugumogu Maru's Youtube channel]<br>
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| [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maru_(cat) Maru's Wikipedia Page]<br>
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| {{cat}}
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