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Aurora Theatre Shooting: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Aurora shooter.jpg|thumb| This asspy almost got highscore]]
[[File:Aurora shooter.jpg|thumb| The face of a killer.]]


[[Image:Columbineinternet.jpg|thumb|His inspiration]]
[[Image:Columbineinternet.jpg|thumb|His inspiration]]


[[File:Advice school shooting.png|thumb|What he should of done]]
[[File:Hisminds.jpg|thumb|What he though his life was like.]]
 
[[File:Hisminds.jpg|thumb|what he though his life was like]]


[[File:Go Fuck Yourself, Sociopathic Brony Scum.jpg|thumb|right|The [[brony]] community were quick to offer their condolences to the survivors.]]
[[File:Go Fuck Yourself, Sociopathic Brony Scum.jpg|thumb|right|The [[brony]] community were quick to offer their condolences to the survivors.]]


The Aurora Shooting occured [[last Thursday]] when our hero, James Holmes diecided to liberate the citzens of [[Batman|Gotham]] by going a [[School shooting|mass act of pwnage]] on the quest for highscore. Sadly he was nowhere near the high score achieved by [[Anders Behring Breivik]].
Following [http://pleasantville.patch.com/articles/violence-shocks-critic-who-received-death-threats-over-dark-knight-review death threats] to critics who scorned [[batman|The Dark Knight Rises]], fans were disappointed to learn that the poor reviews were accurate. One particularly [[batshit_insane|dedicated]] [[fanboy|fan]] known as James Holmes decided to take out his crippling dissatisfaction out on other moviegoers- with the help of an assault rifle and a canister of gas.
 
His final score was 12 frags and 38 almost raped in FPS single player. This has caused alot of bawling and [[butthurt]] due to the fact that some dumbasses claimed he was dressed up as the Joker. Even though he was wearing a [[Gas Mask Girl|gas mask]], riot gear and [[goth|black clothes]] The fun ended when he gave up and [[Camper|hiding behind a car]] he should of [[An hero| an heroed]] but he was proboly to tired from all his hard work.
 
== Early life ==
No one knew him because he had no friends and was [[emo]].


== The Attack==
== The Attack==


[[File:Aurora shooting|thumb|The police come to break up the party]]
[[File:Aurora shooting|thumb|The police come to break up the party]]
Class Setup:
With the power of the [[Internet]] and help from some gun shops, Holmes managed to buy four guns and 6,000 rounds of ammunition 60 days prior to the one-sided game of bullet-tag. Adorned in protective gear that even the finest [[FPS]] [[cosplayer]] would be jealous of, the man bought a ticket to see a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises (because paying for a ticket is completely worthwhile if you're getting arrested anyway) and walked into the movie theater. He then walked out to [[idiot|gather his weaponry from his car]]. Seemingly oblivious to the [[attention_whore|attention]] he had already attracted to himself, Holmes made his way back into the theater and unleashed a flurry of smoke bombs and bullets upon the vulnerable crowd. About 70 casualties have been counted, and to date 12 people have died as a result of the attack, which makes Holmes' score pretty average on the spree killer scoreboard. Sorry man, better luck next time!
 
Primary: Ar-15 w/Extened mags/Undermount Shotgun
 
Secondary: Glock 22 Akimbo
 
Equitment: Claymore (booby trap irl)  Tactical Grenade: Smoke Grenade
 
#Perk 1: Flak Jacket(he has kevlar)
#Perk 2: Warlord Pro
#Perk 3: Tectical Mask (he had a gas mask)
 
His first step was he opened the emergency door and then [[fail|went back to get his stuff]].Somehow unoticed. He then preceded to throw a smoke grenade in the theatre. People though this was part of the movie. But then Holmes [[came|Sprayed]] bullets every where. People were at first confused but the terried. At the end 12 people were pwned and 38 were almost raped. He then proceded to go behind a car and curl up like puusy instead of trying to increase his score.  
 
The attack was somewhat of a sucess as his kdr was positive, however his accuracy was only 18% proving that [[Anders Behring Breivik]] did it better.
 
== The irony==


He took so much shit with him (bulletproof vest) but then didn't shoot at police
Unable to muster the courage to [[an hero|off himself]] and add another point to his killcount, Holmes was apprehended by the police about ten minutes after the massacre. He is now in custody and probably tucked within the well-oiled arms of [[Bubba]].


==Motive==  
==Motive==  
None are none at this time. But [[Some argue|some say]] he did it because he was liberating the residents of gotham city. Although he probably did it for the highscore or the [[lulz]]
None are none at this time. But [[Some argue|some say]] he did it because he was liberating the residents of Gotham City.  


==See also==
==See also==

Revision as of 04:56, 21 July 2012

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
The face of a killer.
His inspiration
What he though his life was like.
The brony community were quick to offer their condolences to the survivors.

Following death threats to critics who scorned The Dark Knight Rises, fans were disappointed to learn that the poor reviews were accurate. One particularly dedicated fan known as James Holmes decided to take out his crippling dissatisfaction out on other moviegoers- with the help of an assault rifle and a canister of gas.

The Attack

File:Aurora shooting
The police come to break up the party

With the power of the Internet and help from some gun shops, Holmes managed to buy four guns and 6,000 rounds of ammunition 60 days prior to the one-sided game of bullet-tag. Adorned in protective gear that even the finest FPS cosplayer would be jealous of, the man bought a ticket to see a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises (because paying for a ticket is completely worthwhile if you're getting arrested anyway) and walked into the movie theater. He then walked out to gather his weaponry from his car. Seemingly oblivious to the attention he had already attracted to himself, Holmes made his way back into the theater and unleashed a flurry of smoke bombs and bullets upon the vulnerable crowd. About 70 casualties have been counted, and to date 12 people have died as a result of the attack, which makes Holmes' score pretty average on the spree killer scoreboard. Sorry man, better luck next time!

Unable to muster the courage to off himself and add another point to his killcount, Holmes was apprehended by the police about ten minutes after the massacre. He is now in custody and probably tucked within the well-oiled arms of Bubba.

Motive

None are none at this time. But some say he did it because he was liberating the residents of Gotham City.

See also