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| :''This article is about nerds in general. You may be looking for [[Nerd³]] or [[the Angry Video Game Nerd]], etc.'' | | Bacteria: Bacteria! We begin with only one! |
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| [[Image:Gamer.png|thumb|right|333px|A [[typical]] nerd looking at [[porn]] in mom's basement]]
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| A '''nerd''' is essentially an [[ugly]], [[Anthropophobia|anthropophobic]] [[luser]], often [[fat]] and/ or a [[basement-dweller]], who is [[obsession|obsessed]] with and quite knowledgeable about a particular, non-mainstream hobby. In practice they are essentially like [[geek]]s, except that they are even less socially adjusted. Thus, unlike geeks, nerds are notoriously easy to pick out of a crowd — one need only listen for the person who is prattling on endlessly about a subject of little interest to anyone else, or who only wears t-shirts that they purchased at last week's [[convention]]. They also just so happen to [[you fail it|fail it]] at [[socializing]] (except perhaps with other attendees of said convention).They are <s>not</s> neutral at [[Mudkipz]] and the most of all,they are 100% offended in [[ED]] (nerds have no [[lulz]]). But what does that make ED?
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| The world may never know...
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| ==The Nerd Kingdom==
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| [[Image:Nerd_playing_with_his_computer.jpg|thumb|Typical nerd fixing his PC to watch [[Pedobear|furry porn]]]]
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| [[Image:killthem.jpg|thumb|Why we can't kill them...]]
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| The term "nerd" is merely the genus of a vast variety of social degenerates; there exist, under the broad categorization of the term, many species of nerd that are determined based on collective nicknames. A nerd who is obsessed with masturbating to pictures of scantily-clad elves in their parents' basement is a [[role-playing]] nerd, for example, whereas a nerd is who is obsessed with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[LJDrama]] is a [[drama whore]] nerd. Nerds that spend all their time immersed in a particular [[canon]] work or [[fandom]] are [[fangirl]]s, even if they are [[man|male]]. In this latter instance, fangirls are divided up even further based on their chosen fandom — ''[[Star Trek]]'' nerds are called "Trekkies", ''[[Lord of the Rings]]'' nerds are called "Ringers", and so on.
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| Other major nerd species include, but are not limited to, nerds who compulsively update their [[OL]] [[journal]]s (alternately called "bloggers" and [[LJ user]]s); nerds who spend all their time writing [[slashfic]] ("slashers"); nerds who go to every convention in a 1,000-mile radius ("regulars"); nerds who cannot get off without looking at girls being [[rape]]d by [[Tentacle rape|tentacles]] ("[[otaku]]", or [[sick fuck]]s); and nerds who live out their fantasy lives through bad [[fanfic]] writing ("[[Suethors]]").
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| Some nerds just know, through some mystical sense that they can't quite put their finger on, that they are very [[Retard|special]]. If they are lucky enough to be the children of new age [[hippies]], they might be labeled [[Indigo Children]].
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| A nerd will also try to redeem their integrity by making whiny, passive-aggressive entires on Urban Dictionary, Uncyclopedia etc. Nerds convince themselves into a [[delusion]] that making self-adulating statements to strangers on the internet is helping their case. They also have a false, self-regarding sense of superiority that is an obvious defense mechanism stemming from the bitterness of being chosen last in gym class. True geniuses such as Nikola Tesla are rolling over in their graves over a nerd's delusion that overindulging in non-important activities (video games, anime etc) is a hallmark of astronomical intelligence. But of course, their social ineptitudes and self-diagnosed [[Aspergers]] are entirely the faults of people who have actually had [[sex]] before. Due to being locked in their bedrooms covered by black bedsheets, a nerd is entirely unaware of the contingent of non-nerds who have also accomplished great things.
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| == [[Warhammer]] Nerds ==
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| Warhammer Nerds are like any other nerds in the way that they have no hope of ever getting [[secks|laid]], but they are also different because they contribute to society. Warhammer Nerds contribute to society because they have high paying jobs due to their need for money for Warhammer where each plastic tank costs at least $70.
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| [[File:Nerdcubed.jpg|thumb|A typical YouTube nerd]]
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| This makes Warhammer different from other nerd activities like ''[[World of Warcraft]]'' where 40 year old [[virgin]]s in their parents' basements not making any contribution towards society. Warhammer Nerds work for the greater good by leaving their houses, getting jobs, and rapidly advancing the career ladder to get $300 for a plastic artillery battery.
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| Many Warhammer Nerds play ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]''.
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| [[Image:Realnerds.gif|thumb|right|Hipsters have been stealing nerd culture and turning it cool, hip, and even ironic. Nerds are now at risk of being confused with people who care more about how they look then about science or science ficition. Beware!]]
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| ==[[Liberals|Political Nerds]]==
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| There is nothing worse than coming across a Political Nerd. Political nerds believe they are unquestionable political pundits despite a lack any of knowledge of the topic at hand. Often the extent of their political knowledge is from a post by someone on a forum or a [http://www.wimp.com/crashers/ video created as a joke]. [[Over 9000]] nerds are [[libertarian]]s.
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| ==Mating Habits==
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| [[Image:450px-DerHexer.png|thumb|A prime example of Wikipedia Nerd.]]
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| Most have no [[Sex|mating]] habits since they are [[Fail|incapable]] of copulation. Exceptions are the band nerds, who are the rabbits of the nerd world because of their uncontrollable hornyness and that they've long given up on the [[fat|loser]] idea that they're mother was telling them the truth about how good looking they are and capable of landing themselves someone popular like a [[whore|cheer leader]]. A lot like an immigrant in a cheese line, Band nerds have learned to take it when it's given and that's why some of them can even beat the [[rape|rapiest]] football player when it comes to quantity. <br>
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| Biologically it should be noted that all nerds have [[Masturbation|vestigial behaviors]] related to mating in their evolutionary past. Sociologists and Psychologists are still in debate if this behavior is instinctual or one that is learned.
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| ==Nerds on [[YouTube]]==
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| The typical nerd... expressing daily life.
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| <center>{{frame|{{fv|fagvids|background-color: pink;|font-weight: soft;
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| |<youtube>T0WP5XJ52bs</youtube>
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| |<youtube>F3w6X5AKKbg</youtube>
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| |<youtube>mmYPB0Y3G34</youtube>
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| |<youtube>4n-mFRHuIlw</youtube>
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| AndrewTheFag's First Gaming Dildo
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| |<youtube>4XlwnFdkr3s</youtube>
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| |<youtube>seRxE3b6m_w</youtube>
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| }}|border=black|background=pink}}</center>
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| ==King of Nerds==
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| [[Image:Eroticjoey111.png|thumb|right|350px]]
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| [[BakaRed|Erotic Joe]] of [[Shinra Online]], [[LUE]] and other sites is the one true Crowned King Of The Nerds. Having pulled the mystical [[Dildo]] of legend from [[Girlvinyl]]'s ass and uniting the twelve tribes of nerdland into one large [[Dungeons & Dragons|D & D Afterschool group]] focused on world domination, he has fulfilled the legends as they were written. All across North America he has left a trail of satisfied lady-nerds. He is what all nerds strive to be because he can throw a ball in a direction other than straight at the ground. He can install a telecommunications network and explain it without resorting to making someone feel stupid. He can talk you through changing out a water pump on a [[awesome|'77 Oldsmobile Toronado]]. He has influenced other nerds to leave their [[basement]] and take up residence in the light. He has even begun a wave of terror against [[Jock|Jocks]] and regular men.
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| By secretly adding additives into beer and fast food that lowers a man's sperm count and testorine levels then secretly hiding the antidote in Asthma inhalers, Erotic Joe has ensured that the nerd males will soon be the only breeding male population on Earth.<br>
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| Erotic Joe is and will always be the one, true king of the nerds.<br>
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| ==LOL IM SUCH A NERD XD==
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| [[Image:Lookoutfororange.jpg|thumb|LOL I SURCH A NEEERD.]]
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| Recently, [[emo|faggots]] have started to consider it [[cool]] to call themselves 'nerds'. [[Truth|These people are ''never'' nerds.]]
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| Go on AIM, and talk to a [[Girl|chick.]] It's all going so well, but than you ask her what she's doing. She responds "Im reading [[TOW|Wikipedia]]. LOL IM SUCH A NERD!!1" You than respond with a simple "[[lol]]" which really means, you are the most average, non-interesting fuckup I have ever talked to.
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| [[Some argue|Some theorize]] that this behavior is actually a form of defense mechanism for [[losers|insecure people]] who are concerned what their peers might think of their interests, and that by suffixing the phrase 'LOL IM SUCH A NERD!!!1' or some variation thereof after Facebook statuses about such things they might avoid mockery and scorn from their shitheel cronies by having pre-emptively made a jibe at themselves. Others think that it's just because they're [[faggots]].
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| ==Nerds who succeed in life ==
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| NO Joke, No [[FAIL]], NO [[SHIT]]. Consult the megacorporate hi-tech gurus [[Bill Gates]] and [[Steve Jobs]], and former vice president [[Al Gore]] rank high in nerdiness, he claims to invented the INTRNTZ.
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| ==Gallery of Nerdum==
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| {{cg|Gallery of Nerd|Nerds|center|<gallery>
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| Image:tatsujin-2.jpg|Japanese import video game nerd. He'll never get laid.
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| Image:FUNNY NERD.jpg|Old nerd
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| Image:Thecoolkidsnerdfriend.jpg|Every [[Cooldude|cool kid]] needs the Nerd Friend to show off how [[Sensitive|charitable]] he is.
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| Image:Nerds have huge boobs too!.jpg|[[lies|The rare hot nerd.]]
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| </gallery>|<gallery>
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| Image:nerds.jpg|Examples of nerds in the wild. Specifically [[zb]] and [[San Francisco#Residents|Billf]].
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| Image:Lol_nerds.jpg|Nerd convention!
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| Image:Nerd Convention,in some basement.jpg|Nerd Convention, in some [[basement]].
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| Image:Standards.jpg|Even nerds have standards.
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| Image:NERRRRRD.jpg|[[Doom 3]] nerd.
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| Image:Nerdplayingguitar.jpg|Some nerd having nerdish fun.
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| Image:SWactionfigures.JPG|If you have all of these figures in their original packaging you might be a nerd.
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| Image:Nerdwithnohope.jpg|Virgin for life
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| Image:FuckinNerds.jpeg|A ritual done each and every morning
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| Image:Wikimania 2006 Kelly Martin2.jpg|Stupid Nerd girls and their cone tits.
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| Image:Nerd.jpg
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| File:Dawkins_your_dick_broke_nigga.jpg
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| Image:Hipster_&_Nerd_-_Nerds_vs_Hipsters.jpg
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| Image:Nerds_-_How_To_Piss_Off.jpg
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| File:Nerdphysique.jpg
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| Image:AmpereHope.jpg|A [[social justice]] nerd with [[transgender|trans]] issues.
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| Image:businessnerd.jpg|[[Serious business]] nerd is serious.
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| </gallery>|0}}
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| ==Related Articles==
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| [[Image:Soon my pretties soon.jpg|thumb|right|255px|<s>No son, they won't.</s> [[Rape|Oh yes they will]].]]
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| * [[Nerd Rage]]
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| * [[Nerdcore]]5
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| * [[Nintendocore]]
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| * [[Geek]]
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| * [[Basement]]
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| * [[Engineer]]
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| * [[Basement-dweller]]
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| * [[LAN Party]]
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| * [[King Of The Nerds]]
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| * [[MIT]]
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| * [[You]]
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| * [[Socializing]]
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| * [[Esperanto]]
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| * [[PieAreSquare|Dork]]
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| * [[Horizon: Zero Dawn]]
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| ==External link==
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| *[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AIrgala&diff=101260271&oldid=101259670 Sums up Wikipedians' social issues nicely.]
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| *[http://www.youtube.com/user/GCTProductions Michigans finest nerdfag flimmakers!]
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| *[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SillySarahIly A nerd bitch named Sarah Colemen says "bro" after sucking cock.]
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| *[http://www.inmalafide.com/blog/2010/06/16/why-nobody-likes-nerds-and-why-youre-justified-in-hating-them/ Why nobody likes nerds, and why you’re justified in hating them]
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| *[http://www.facebook.com/SoAdJuNkIe Felicia who is a hot nerd who will fuck anybody. Snapchat-leanesidhe]
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| [[Category:Epithets]]
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| [[Category:Subcultures]]
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