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Humanitarian: Difference between revisions
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'''Humanitarians''' Also known as [[Stephen_Kazmierczak|Altruists]], [[ED|Good Guys]] and [[Adam Lanza|People Who've Done Nothing Wrong]] are people with a shitload of cash who give like .001% of it to the [[ | '''Humanitarians''' Also known as [[Stephen_Kazmierczak|Altruists]], [[ED|Good Guys]] and [[Adam Lanza|People Who've Done Nothing Wrong]] are people [[Some Argue|who are usually]] with a shitload of cash who give like .001% of it to the [[welfare|destitute]], [[Sudan|starving]] or [[Aspie|people who generally need help]], then waste the rest on pampering themselves, and then tout themselves as the next [[Martin Luther King Jr.]], making lil' ol' you feel like a greedy, selfish cunt. Unsuprisingly, this phenomena is most commonly found in celebrities. | ||
[[Image:TheyHaitian.jpg|thumb|Your average humanitarian effort.]] | [[Image:TheyHaitian.jpg|thumb|Your average humanitarian effort.]] | ||
[[Image:Adolfhitlerportrait.jpg|thumb|The Quintessential Altruist]] | [[Image:Adolfhitlerportrait.jpg|thumb|The Quintessential Altruist]] | ||
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*They think they're SO much better than you, just because they're loaded enough to toss around $1million to some starving niggers. | *They think they're SO much better than you, just because they're loaded enough to toss around $1million to some starving niggers. | ||
*They wear tons of snarky buttons or meaningless lapel ribbons. | *They wear tons of snarky buttons or meaningless lapel ribbons. | ||
*They own either Microsoft or Apple | |||
==Where Are They?== | ==Where Are They?== | ||
Revision as of 04:16, 31 December 2012
Humanitarians Also known as Altruists, Good Guys and People Who've Done Nothing Wrong are people who are usually with a shitload of cash who give like .001% of it to the destitute, starving or people who generally need help, then waste the rest on pampering themselves, and then tout themselves as the next Martin Luther King Jr., making lil' ol' you feel like a greedy, selfish cunt. Unsuprisingly, this phenomena is most commonly found in celebrities.
Origins
Once upon a time, a bunch of Liberals got toghether and decided that hard, selfless work they were doing should be rewarded with a SUPER-KUL SEKRIT TITLE. And, being liberals, they pulled out the word "human" again to suggest that people were their number one priority (while sipping champagne in a private jet to their new summer island estate).
And then EVERYONE who did ANYTHING remotely kind to another human being started verbally fapping with the title. Except for Asians, as they cannot be called Humanitarians because they are not humans.
What Are the Signs of a Humanitarian?
- They spam the air waves with use of that word. A lot.
- They have more money than they could EVER use.
- They have adopted more than one foreign baby.
- They think they're SO much better than you, just because they're loaded enough to toss around $1million to some starving niggers.
- They wear tons of snarky buttons or meaningless lapel ribbons.
- They own either Microsoft or Apple
Where Are They?
Most humanitarians can be found either in Hollywood, a Democratic fudraiser, a super secure part of some shithole country where they do their photo shoots for some advocacy group, or on the television (where they hog the camera and try to cast themselves as a martyr).
What To Do if You Meet One
If the word "humanitarian" comes up, leave. Don't say anything, just go.
