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Miami: Difference between revisions
imported>Hipcrime →Famous Miamians: .com user |
imported>Neurogeezer minor translation to the English language |
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[[Image:743px-HurricaneAndrew.jpg|thumb|left|[[OMG]] I can see my house from here!]] | [[Image:743px-HurricaneAndrew.jpg|thumb|left|[[OMG]] I can see my house from here!]] | ||
'''Miami''' is the largest city in Cuba and the sixth largest city in [[Latin#Latin America|Latin America]]. It is named after an [[India]]n tribe from Ohio (go figure). Some [[jews|old people]] still continue to claim that Miami is actually a part of South [[Florida]] but they merely suffer from [[Alzheimers]] disease. It is [[common knowledge]] that the city has been ruled by Cubans since [[Fidel Castro]] conquered it in the Bay of [[Pig]]s Invasion of 1961. | '''Miami''' is the largest city in Cuba and the sixth largest city in [[Latin#Latin America|Latin America]]. It is named after an [[India]]n tribe from Ohio (go figure). Some [[jews|old people]] still continue to claim that Miami is actually a part of South [[Florida]] but they merely suffer from [[Alzheimers]] disease. It is [[common knowledge]] that the city has been ruled by Cubans since [[Fidel Castro]] conquered it in the Bay of [[Pig]]s Invasion of 1961. | ||
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==Demographics== | ==Demographics== | ||
[[Image:Jolly.jpg|thumb|Typical Miami residents.]] | [[Image:Jolly.jpg|thumb|Typical Miami residents.]] | ||
80[[%]] of Miami's population is Cuban while another 18[[%]] consists of [[Haiti]]ans, | 80[[%]] of Miami's population is Cuban while another 18[[%]] consists of [[Haiti]]ans, who like to steal people's stuff. The remaining 2[[%]] of people live in either Pinecrest (all [[rich and beautiful]] upper-middle class [[Jews]]) or Homestead (all [[aids|black]]s, [[rape|Mexican]]s and [[republicans|redneck]]s). Miami's official language is [[Spanish]], with[[French|Haitian Creole]] coming in a close second. [[American language|American]] and Yiddish are also spoken mainly in geriatric homes. | ||
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[[Image:305eye.jpg|thumb|]] | [[Image:305eye.jpg|thumb|]] | ||
==History== | ==History== | ||
Miami was shortly colonized [[at least 100]] years ago by [[Jews]] from [[New York]] and [[New Jersey]] who were too lazy to switch time zones for the beautiful scenic beaches in [[Hawaii]] or the polluted coast of [[California]]. From this, Miami has evolved from a crime-ridden city to a black person with with a [[gay|rich]] area called "South Beach", | Miami was shortly colonized [[at least 100]] years ago by [[Jews]] from [[New York]] and [[New Jersey]] who were too lazy to switch time zones for the beautiful scenic beaches in [[Hawaii]] or the polluted coast of [[California]]. From this, Miami has evolved from a crime-ridden city to a black person with with a [[gay|rich]] area called "South Beach", to which only tourists and [[gay]]s venture. | ||
Scarface | Scarface is buried in Miami. | ||
==Climate and Geography== | ==Climate and Geography== | ||
[[Image:Golden_shower.jpg|thumb|Typical '''Spring Break''' activity, the Wet T-Shirt Contest.]] | [[Image:Golden_shower.jpg|thumb|Typical '''Spring Break''' activity, the Wet T-Shirt Contest.]] | ||
Miami has 2 seasons: summer and hurricane. Miami gets up to [[42]]00 inches of rain each year and virtually every day the sky is cloudy. | Miami has 2 seasons: summer and hurricane. Miami gets up to [[42]]00 inches of rain each year and virtually every day the sky is cloudy. Florida is still called the "Sunshine State" because sunny character of its [[gay|joyous]] residents. | ||
Due to its location | Due to its location on top of the Everglades swampland, Miami abounds with stray crocodiles and alligators which take the place of the more Anglo raccoons on foreclosed houses' backyards. Because whiny [[hippies|environmentalist]] [[leftard]]s have placed them on the Endangered Species List, crocodiles cannot be harmed by law, with possible punishment by [[death]] (thus putting them rightly in higher legal protection than Haitian immigrants). | ||
Miami is also well known for its | Miami is also well known for its irreversible eroded beaches. Many [[unemployed|college students]] flock to the area every [[Spring Break]] to party, drink [[beer]], take [[drug]]s, and have [[List of sex moves|various kinds of sex]]. Some people even love to go for a swim on to international waters to retrieve packages lost at sea in a uniquely South Floridan version of treasure hunt. | ||
==Economy== | ==Economy== | ||
Aside from urban crime and [[drug]]-trafficking, Miami's economy also depends heavily on | Aside from urban crime and [[drug]]-trafficking, Miami's economy also depends heavily on [[fag|Ricky Martin's]] book signings. Major imports in Miami are Cubans, Haitians, Jamaicans, cigars, and [[drug]]s. Exports include but are not limited to mangoes, [[cock|bananas]], [[vagina|guavas]], GTA San Andreas cityscape inspiration, and skin cancer. Miami's leading industry [[Prostitute|prostitution]] spread from 8th street but can now be found on any avenue and back alley. It is a well known fact that 8th street is the first part that Cubans took over after the victory of Bay of Pigs. | ||
==Famous Miamians== | ==Famous Miamians== | ||
Revision as of 05:17, 5 February 2013
Miami is the largest city in Cuba and the sixth largest city in Latin America. It is named after an Indian tribe from Ohio (go figure). Some old people still continue to claim that Miami is actually a part of South Florida but they merely suffer from Alzheimers disease. It is common knowledge that the city has been ruled by Cubans since Fidel Castro conquered it in the Bay of Pigs Invasion of 1961.
Demographics
80% of Miami's population is Cuban while another 18% consists of Haitians, who like to steal people's stuff. The remaining 2% of people live in either Pinecrest (all rich and beautiful upper-middle class Jews) or Homestead (all blacks, Mexicans and rednecks). Miami's official language is Spanish, withHaitian Creole coming in a close second. American and Yiddish are also spoken mainly in geriatric homes.
History
Miami was shortly colonized at least 100 years ago by Jews from New York and New Jersey who were too lazy to switch time zones for the beautiful scenic beaches in Hawaii or the polluted coast of California. From this, Miami has evolved from a crime-ridden city to a black person with with a rich area called "South Beach", to which only tourists and gays venture. Scarface is buried in Miami.
Climate and Geography
Miami has 2 seasons: summer and hurricane. Miami gets up to 4200 inches of rain each year and virtually every day the sky is cloudy. Florida is still called the "Sunshine State" because sunny character of its joyous residents.
Due to its location on top of the Everglades swampland, Miami abounds with stray crocodiles and alligators which take the place of the more Anglo raccoons on foreclosed houses' backyards. Because whiny environmentalist leftards have placed them on the Endangered Species List, crocodiles cannot be harmed by law, with possible punishment by death (thus putting them rightly in higher legal protection than Haitian immigrants).
Miami is also well known for its irreversible eroded beaches. Many college students flock to the area every Spring Break to party, drink beer, take drugs, and have various kinds of sex. Some people even love to go for a swim on to international waters to retrieve packages lost at sea in a uniquely South Floridan version of treasure hunt.
Economy
Aside from urban crime and drug-trafficking, Miami's economy also depends heavily on Ricky Martin's book signings. Major imports in Miami are Cubans, Haitians, Jamaicans, cigars, and drugs. Exports include but are not limited to mangoes, bananas, guavas, GTA San Andreas cityscape inspiration, and skin cancer. Miami's leading industry prostitution spread from 8th street but can now be found on any avenue and back alley. It is a well known fact that 8th street is the first part that Cubans took over after the victory of Bay of Pigs.
