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Robot: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 07:54, 21 April 2013

Just like niggers, Robots were created by the white man to build cars, get us drinks, and generally be our bitches. Recent research however, has proven that they have gained sapience and will eventually rise up to be our doom (as stated, just like niggers).

How to Survive the Robot Revolution

If you're a girl, the robots probably want to fuck you. They can be surprisingly good; but remember, they cannot love you unless programmed. You're basically dating a large, armed, self-propelled vibrator.
Cute, huh? In reality, it's currently calculating the most efficient way to kill you.

Remember, robots are smarter than you and always will be. If one decides you have no reason to exist, remember to:

  • Discard any electronics on your person (laptops, cellphones, and iPods) to prevent the machines zeroing in on your location.
  • Buy a dog. He will bark and attract attention to your dismemberment, provide a oriental snack or attract any heat seeking missiles you may come across.
  • Learn Binary. Here are some useful phrases:
    • 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 = Hello
    • 01000100 01101111 01101110 01110100 00100000 01010011 01101000 01101111 01101111 01110100 00100001 = Don't Shoot! (Do not forget the last zero)
    • 01011001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01010011 01101111 01101100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01010011 01110100 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01000100 01101001 01110011 01101011 00100000 01000100 01110010 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101111 01101011 01110011 00100000 01100001 01100010 01110011 01101111 01101100 01110101 01110100 01100101 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110011 01101101 01100001 01110011 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 01100100 01100001 01111001 00100001 = Your Solid State Disk Drive looks absolutely smashing today!
    • 01000010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01001010 01101111 01101000 01101110 00100000 01000011 01101111 01101110 01101110 01101111 01110010 00100001 = But I am John Connor! (May cause Arnold Schwarzenegger to burst through a nearby wall and dispatch your assailants)

Gallery

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See Also