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Fellatio: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]] | [[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]] | ||
{{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.|J. Edgar Hoover}} | {{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.|J. Edgar Hoover}} | ||
The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]". [[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice. | The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]". [[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice. | ||
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Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for [[fat]] chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the [[Clinton]] Administration. For [[anorexic]] girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place. | Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for [[fat]] chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the [[Clinton]] Administration. For [[anorexic]] girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place. | ||
== | ==Gallery== | ||
{{ | {{Collapsegallery||Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
Image:Mouth Rape.gif|Proper technique | |||
Image:Japanese blowjob.gif | Image:Japanese blowjob.gif | ||
Image:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3 | Image:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3 | ||
Image:BlowJobSlapCombo.gif|What to do when the bitch fails it | |||
Image:Suck11.gif | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
Image:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks. | Image:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks. | ||
Image:Suckifatdick.jpg | Image:Suckifatdick.jpg | ||
Image:Suckskull.gif|This is what's really going on during a blowjob. | Image:Suckskull.gif|This is what's really going on during a blowjob. | ||
Image:Tongueskills.gif|A future fellatrix training | Image:Tongueskills.gif|A future fellatrix training | ||
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Image:Crumbnigger.gif | Image:Crumbnigger.gif | ||
File:Men and women's brains understanding each other.jpg | File:Men and women's brains understanding each other.jpg | ||
Image:Blowjob.jpg|'''BLOWJORB''' | Image:Blowjob.jpg|'''BLOWJORB''' | ||
Image:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg | Image:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg | ||
Image:Likc.jpg | Image:Likc.jpg | ||
Image:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|Jack and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company. | Image:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|Jack and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company. | ||
Image:Crosseyebj.jpg|Cock eyed redefined | Image:Crosseyebj.jpg|Cock eyed redefined | ||
Image:Cocknose.jpg|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]]. | Image:Cocknose.jpg|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]]. | ||
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Image:Conan_School_Girl_Gymnastics.gif|National pastime of Japan | Image:Conan_School_Girl_Gymnastics.gif|National pastime of Japan | ||
Image:StreetSharks.gif | Image:StreetSharks.gif | ||
Image:Bite-dick blood.jpg|Fellatio [[doing it wrong|done wrong]]. | Image:Bite-dick blood.jpg|Fellatio [[doing it wrong|done wrong]]. | ||
Image:Detention.jpg|Don't try it at [[school]], kiddo! (Or at least post it on [http://cgi.4chan.org/b/ /b/]) | Image:Detention.jpg|Don't try it at [[school]], kiddo! (Or at least post it on [http://cgi.4chan.org/b/ /b/]) | ||
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Image:Gaydickslap.gif | Image:Gaydickslap.gif | ||
Image:Wasteofagoodartist_rustehc.jpg|Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry. | Image:Wasteofagoodartist_rustehc.jpg|Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry. | ||
Image:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]], but it kills you. | Image:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]], but it kills you. | ||
Image:Cheerupblowjob.jpg | Image:Cheerupblowjob.jpg | ||
Image:Paper blowjob.gif | Image:Paper blowjob.gif | ||
Image:Horny Panties.PNG|That's one pair of horny underpants. | |||
File:Mouth fuck robot.jpg|Hey Ladies! | |||
File:Blowjobs prevent cancer.jpg|[[Some argue]] that [[fact|swallowing may prevent breast cancer.]] | |||
Image:Zangiefcum.JPG|Looks like Zangief can't swallow ''all'' of that. | Image:Zangiefcum.JPG|Looks like Zangief can't swallow ''all'' of that. | ||
Image:Pixelblowjob.jpg|You go girl! | Image:Pixelblowjob.jpg|You go girl! | ||
Image:stg.jpg|Complete with squarish cum. See: [[Gloom]] | Image:stg.jpg|Complete with squarish cum. See: [[Gloom]] | ||
File:Twinkie blowjob.jpg | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
== | ==Videos== | ||
<center><youtube>PIqHHBMBtuo</youtube><br>Yes. You just watched that.</center> | <center><youtube>PIqHHBMBtuo</youtube><br>Yes. You just watched that.</center> | ||
==Moar Blowjorbs!== | ==Moar Blowjorbs!== | ||
* [http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob] | * [http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob] | ||
* [http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob] | * [http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob] | ||
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==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
*[[Woman]]: Giver of Blojobs | *[[Woman]]: Giver of Blojobs | ||
*[[Sex]]: Like a Blowjob with chance of [[breeder|babies]]! | *[[Sex]]: Like a Blowjob with chance of [[breeder|babies]]! |
Revision as of 08:33, 21 April 2013
—J. Edgar Hoover |
The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of sucking cock". Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.
It's also A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).
Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.
Technique
Explanation on how to get head--written by the expert!
- Get her really drunk
- ????
- Get her to suck your dick!
The Variation, popular with self injury folk:
- While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
- She will at this point bite your penis off.
- Awesome!.
Gay head
Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.
Autofellatio
Autofellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image of it, proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.
Slang
Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?
- Lulzing balls
- Becoming rich and beautiful
- Getting your dick sucked by your mom you fucking fruit
- Chookling mah playmates- See Didaskalos
- Drinking from the Garden Hose
- Sucking Sausage
- "Shit was SO cash"
Benefits for Women
Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.
Gallery
-
Proper technique
-
Best fellatio is kawaii fellatio! :3
-
What to do when the bitch fails it
-
Dorian Thorn has sucked ALL the cocks.
-
This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
-
A future fellatrix training
-
A very good bj.
-
Claudia Thorn maintains she is NOT a trashy cockwhore.
-
Dirty bitches love cock.
-
Is she still alive? Hint: It's a trap.
-
This is what's really going on during a deepthroat.
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Artist depiction of cartoon deepthroat.
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Lol, TOW.
-
Delicious!
-
Some are gooier than others.
-
Two for one! ZOMG pr0n movie link kthnx http://www.empflix.com/view.php?id=17569
-
Obvious gay is Obvious.
-
Ben Stiller's only successful movie
-
The few. The proud.
-
Dorian Thorn sucks cock daily.
-
A handjob is fine too
-
Animals do it harder, better, faster, stronger.
-
BLOWJORB
-
Jack and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
-
Cock eyed redefined
-
Jew blowjob.
-
Stick cock where?
-
Textbook example of The Volcano.
-
DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!
-
National pastime of Japan
-
Fellatio done wrong.
-
those lips aren't just for looks.
-
Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
-
It's like a reverse blowjob, but it kills you.
-
That's one pair of horny underpants.
-
Hey Ladies!
-
Looks like Zangief can't swallow all of that.
-
You go girl!
-
Complete with squarish cum. See: Gloom
Videos
Yes. You just watched that.
Moar Blowjorbs!
See Also
- Woman: Giver of Blojobs
- Sex: Like a Blowjob with chance of babies!
- Gay: If a guy is doing this to you
- No Homo: Save against the gay
Fellatio is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |