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Fellatio: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]]
[[Image:006-3-dildo-monster.jpg|thumb|Might need a few moar mouths for this one.]]
[[Image:Horny Panties.PNG|thumb|right|That's one pair of horny underpants.]]
[[File:Mouth fuck robot.jpg|thumb|Hey Ladies!]]
{{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.|J. Edgar Hoover}}
{{quote2|I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.|J. Edgar Hoover}}
[[File:Blowjobs prevent cancer.jpg|thumb|right|[[Some argue]] that [[fact|swallowing may prevent breast cancer.]]]]
The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]". [[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice.
The opposite of [[anal sex]]. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of [[cockmongler|sucking cock]]". [[Your Mom]] does this ''really well'', but your dad needs more practice.


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Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for [[fat]] chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the [[Clinton]] Administration. For [[anorexic]] girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.
Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for [[fat]] chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the [[Clinton]] Administration. For [[anorexic]] girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.


==Galleries==
==Gallery==
{{cg|Successful Blowjobs|Blow Job Success!|center|<gallery perrow="5">
{{Collapsegallery||Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Mouth Rape.gif|Proper technique
Image:Japanese blowjob.gif
Image:Japanese blowjob.gif
Image:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3
Image:Taking good care of a penis.jpg|Best fellatio is [[kawaii]] fellatio! :3
Image:BlowJobSlapCombo.gif|What to do when the bitch fails it
Image:Suck11.gif
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks.
Image:Dorian-thorn-sucking-cocks.jpg|[[Dorian Thorn]] has sucked ALL the cocks.
Image:Mouth Rape.gif|Proper technique
Image:Suckifatdick.jpg
Image:Suckifatdick.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Suckskull.gif|This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
Image:Suckskull.gif|This is what's really going on during a blowjob.
Image:Tongueskills.gif|A future fellatrix training
Image:Tongueskills.gif|A future fellatrix training
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Image:Crumbnigger.gif
Image:Crumbnigger.gif
File:Men and women's brains understanding each other.jpg
File:Men and women's brains understanding each other.jpg
</gallery>}}<br>
{{cg|Failed Blowjobs|Blow Job Fail!|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Blowjob.jpg|'''BLOWJORB'''
Image:Blowjob.jpg|'''BLOWJORB'''
Image:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg
Image:DoingItWrongBJ.jpg
Image:Likc.jpg
Image:Likc.jpg
Image:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|Jack and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
Image:Cucumber Fellatio.jpg|Jack and Janet fellate a cucumber in this remake of Three's Company.
Image:Suck11.gif|[[All your base are belong to us|What happen]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Crosseyebj.jpg|Cock eyed redefined
Image:Crosseyebj.jpg|Cock eyed redefined
Image:Cocknose.jpg|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]].
Image:Cocknose.jpg|Forcing [[retard]]s into oral isn't [[doing it wrong|wrong]] in some [[Israel|countries]].
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Image:Conan_School_Girl_Gymnastics.gif|National pastime of Japan
Image:Conan_School_Girl_Gymnastics.gif|National pastime of Japan
Image:StreetSharks.gif
Image:StreetSharks.gif
Image:BlowJobSlapCombo.gif|What to do when the bitch fails it
Image:Bite-dick blood.jpg|Fellatio [[doing it wrong|done wrong]].
Image:Bite-dick blood.jpg|Fellatio [[doing it wrong|done wrong]].
Image:Detention.jpg|Don't try it at [[school]], kiddo! (Or at least post it on [http://cgi.4chan.org/b/ /b/])
Image:Detention.jpg|Don't try it at [[school]], kiddo! (Or at least post it on [http://cgi.4chan.org/b/ /b/])
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Image:Gaydickslap.gif
Image:Gaydickslap.gif
Image:Wasteofagoodartist_rustehc.jpg|Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
Image:Wasteofagoodartist_rustehc.jpg|Almost but not quite a blowjob. Also, furry.
Image:Seelacanth - Matador vs Minotaur.jpg|Sometimes failed blowjobs can be fatal.
Image:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]], but it kills you.
Image:Horn Mouth.jpg|It's like a [[LOL WUT|reverse blowjob]], but it kills you.
Image:Cheerupblowjob.jpg
Image:Cheerupblowjob.jpg
Image:Paper blowjob.gif
Image:Paper blowjob.gif
</gallery>}}<br>
Image:Horny Panties.PNG|That's one pair of horny underpants.
 
File:Mouth fuck robot.jpg|Hey Ladies!
{{cg|Blowjobs in Videogames||center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Blowjobs prevent cancer.jpg|[[Some argue]] that [[fact|swallowing may prevent breast cancer.]]
<center><gallery>
Image:Zangiefcum.JPG|Looks like Zangief can't swallow ''all'' of that.
Image:Zangiefcum.JPG|Looks like Zangief can't swallow ''all'' of that.
Image:Pixelblowjob.jpg|You go girl!
Image:Pixelblowjob.jpg|You go girl!
Image:stg.jpg|Complete with squarish cum.  See: [[Gloom]]
Image:stg.jpg|Complete with squarish cum.  See: [[Gloom]]
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"></gallery>}}
File:Twinkie blowjob.jpg
</gallery>}}


==Blowjob on YouTube==
==Videos==
<center><youtube>PIqHHBMBtuo</youtube><br>Yes. You just watched that.</center>
<center><youtube>PIqHHBMBtuo</youtube><br>Yes. You just watched that.</center>


==Moar Blowjorbs!==
==Moar Blowjorbs!==
[[Image:Loloops.gif|thumb|Asking for it....]]
* [http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob]
* [http://www.xgentube.com/video/9814/German-bathroom-blowjob-creampie-from-Share-Adult/ German bathroom blowjob]
* [http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob]
* [http://analsixxdoesntcount.tumblr.com/ Brittany Sixx Blowjob]
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==See Also==
==See Also==
[[Image:Holly willoughby.jpg|thumb|UK Children's TV presenter Holly Willoughby]]
*[[Woman]]: Giver of Blojobs
*[[Woman]]: Giver of Blojobs
*[[Sex]]: Like a Blowjob with chance of [[breeder|babies]]!
*[[Sex]]: Like a Blowjob with chance of [[breeder|babies]]!

Revision as of 08:33, 21 April 2013

Might need a few moar mouths for this one.
   
 
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
 

 
 

—J. Edgar Hoover

The opposite of anal sex. Fellatio is a Latin word, which means "the act of sucking cock". Your Mom does this really well, but your dad needs more practice.

It's also A character in William Shakespeare's The Tempest. Not to be confused with Bond villain henchman, Oddjob (unless that was one of those "odd jobs" he was named after).

Texas Republicans have introduced a law to outlaw gay sex and sodomy. Problem is, sodomy includes fellatio and therefore all blowjobs would be illegal in Texas which ironically would make Texas the gayest state in the Union.

Technique

Explanation on how to get head--written by the expert!

  1. Get her really drunk
  2. ????
  3. Get her to suck your dick!

The Variation, popular with self injury folk:

  1. While she is sucking, tell her that you will rape her.
  2. She will at this point bite your penis off.
  3. Awesome!.

Gay head

Gay head is different because you do not have to get any girls drunk. All gay men love giving head so you don't have to even worry if you're ugly or have a small hairy cock. Gay men will suck on any cock at any time. This is because if you are gay you can either suck cock or take it up the ass, so gay men don't have many options to choose from.

Autofellatio

Autofellatio is hard to describe, but How to Suck Your Own Dick gives a good guide. Also TOW has a nice image of it, proving that Jimbo Wales is a sick fuck.

Slang

Getting a blowjob is also known as "Cash"

Fellatio is the medical term--what are kids using on the street?

Benefits for Women

Besides being a quicker way to that big promotion, a blowjob has also been shown in various studies to be a more effective way for fat chicks to get laid. Many of these studies were done during the Clinton Administration. For anorexic girls, semen consumption provides assorted proteins and lastly, a forced blowjob makes any women learn her place.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos


Yes. You just watched that.

Moar Blowjorbs!

See Also

  • Woman: Giver of Blojobs
  • Sex: Like a Blowjob with chance of babies!
  • Gay: If a guy is doing this to you

Fellatio is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.