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Heath Campbell: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Heathcampbelluniform.jpg|thumb|Out on an afternoon stroll after a hard day's work slaughtering [[Jews|Semites]].]] | |||
'''Heath Campbell''' (aka '''Papa Hitler''') is a simple all-American man with a life just like [[EDiot|me]] or [[you]]. He too wakes up every morning, has a bowl of 3rd Reich-O's, combs his toothbrush mustache, slips on his D-Day best, and visits his local [[Catholicism|catholic church]] once every Sunday. He and his [[Amerifat|lovely]] wife also happen to be self-proclaimed [[doing it right|white-supremacists]] and [[Master race|Aryan master-race]]. | '''Heath Campbell''' (aka '''Papa Hitler''') is a simple all-American man with a life just like [[EDiot|me]] or [[you]]. He too wakes up every morning, has a bowl of 3rd Reich-O's, combs his toothbrush mustache, slips on his D-Day best, and visits his local [[Catholicism|catholic church]] once every Sunday. He and his [[Amerifat|lovely]] wife also happen to be self-proclaimed [[doing it right|white-supremacists]] and [[Master race|Aryan master-race]]. | ||
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== The family == | == The family == | ||
[[Image:Campbellandhitler.jpg|thumb|He's asking the person behind the camera for permission to end his brown-haired father.]] | |||
[[Image:Hitlernandmother.jpg|thumb|I really don't want to know what the fuck is [[Murder|going on in that kid's head]].]] | |||
Any time you create a new character in a video game, be it an [[MMO]], [[Dying alone|Single-player]], or [[Dungeons and dragons|Role-playing game]], one of the very first fundamental choices you're pressed with his naming your character. This is the dilemma Heath was faced with upon having his first son. After many long conversations and much careful planning, he and his wife decided upon the most sensible conclusion: Adolph Hitler. Thus, little baby Hitler was born. They later had two daughters named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, but [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody cares about them]]. | Any time you create a new character in a video game, be it an [[MMO]], [[Dying alone|Single-player]], or [[Dungeons and dragons|Role-playing game]], one of the very first fundamental choices you're pressed with his naming your character. This is the dilemma Heath was faced with upon having his first son. After many long conversations and much careful planning, he and his wife decided upon the most sensible conclusion: Adolph Hitler. Thus, little baby Hitler was born. They later had two daughters named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, but [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody cares about them]]. | ||
It wasn't until a year after Baby Hitler's birth that they began running into a harsh, distasteful persecution the likes of which hasn't been seen for at least seventy years. That's right; they were denied by a local super market to have a birthday cake with their darling son's name on it. In a last act of desperation, Heath rushed to his house, equipped himself with the latest and greatest in biochemical self-defense weapons, a gas mask, and a badge from [[Nazi|the world's most influential movement]], and then made heroic journey into the local Walmart. Fortunately for him they were more than ready to support his lifestyle choices and thus prepared the cake in record times. In Walmart's defense, at least they treat their jew customers equally and wish them along with every other [[Amerifat|customer]] a merry Christmas. | It wasn't until a year after Baby Hitler's birth that they began running into a harsh, distasteful persecution the likes of which hasn't been seen for at least seventy years. That's right; they were denied by a local super market to have a birthday cake with their darling son's name on it. In a last act of desperation, Heath rushed to his house, equipped himself with the latest and greatest in biochemical self-defense weapons, a gas mask, and a badge from [[Nazi|the world's most influential movement]], and then made heroic journey into the local Walmart. Fortunately for him they were more than ready to support his lifestyle choices and thus prepared the cake in record times. In Walmart's defense, at least they treat their jew customers equally and wish them along with every other [[Amerifat|customer]] a merry Christmas. | ||
Revision as of 09:17, 10 June 2013
Heath Campbell (aka Papa Hitler) is a simple all-American man with a life just like me or you. He too wakes up every morning, has a bowl of 3rd Reich-O's, combs his toothbrush mustache, slips on his D-Day best, and visits his local catholic church once every Sunday. He and his lovely wife also happen to be self-proclaimed white-supremacists and Aryan master-race.
—Heath Campbell telling it like a champ | ||
The family
Any time you create a new character in a video game, be it an MMO, Single-player, or Role-playing game, one of the very first fundamental choices you're pressed with his naming your character. This is the dilemma Heath was faced with upon having his first son. After many long conversations and much careful planning, he and his wife decided upon the most sensible conclusion: Adolph Hitler. Thus, little baby Hitler was born. They later had two daughters named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, but nobody cares about them.
It wasn't until a year after Baby Hitler's birth that they began running into a harsh, distasteful persecution the likes of which hasn't been seen for at least seventy years. That's right; they were denied by a local super market to have a birthday cake with their darling son's name on it. In a last act of desperation, Heath rushed to his house, equipped himself with the latest and greatest in biochemical self-defense weapons, a gas mask, and a badge from the world's most influential movement, and then made heroic journey into the local Walmart. Fortunately for him they were more than ready to support his lifestyle choices and thus prepared the cake in record times. In Walmart's defense, at least they treat their jew customers equally and wish them along with every other customer a merry Christmas.