Kai the Hitchhiker

Kai , commonly referred to as the ``Hatchet-wielding hitchhiker``, is a creature of Canadian oddity roaming the streets of the United-States using several fake names and clandestine identities. Known for his high sneaking abilities and dangerous one-handed combat skills, Kai could be considered as a force not to be reckoned with. His offensive stance is usually comprised of 3 very particular stages, all specifically designed to assess different threat levels. Stage 1 is merely a state of increased awareness, which will influence the Kai to start looking for possible weapons and prepare combat strategies, without showing any signs of anger to his enemies, who are always fucking crazy anyways. Stage 2 is known as the Pre-Smash phase. In this state, the Kai is to be approached with caution, and will usually grab a weapon, preferably a hatchet, or use his magicka and conjuration skills to create one out of thin air, because he's just that fucking good. During stage 2, the Kai is fully prepared kill, but will not engage in combat unless being attacked first. Stage 3, the most dangerous of all stages, is known as the Smash Smash Smash stage. Being in a full-blown combat mode, the Kai will simply fuck you up. If you are sensitive in the back of the head, beware, as he is known to have a preference for such areas. Before attacking, the Kai will yell out a primitive tribal phrase, known as a shout, to intimidate and weaken his prey. This shout, SMASH SMASH SMASH, does extra damage to vehicle-drivers who pick up hitchhikers on a regular basis.