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<Portal:Sites/Featured Article

Newest to oldest articles

May 2022

Featured Article - Twitter

Twitter (AKA Shitter, AKA Your account is currently suspended. For more information, please visit Suspended Accounts), or as former President Obama called it, Twitter's, is an outrage machine where highly sensitive people spend all of their time so they can get offended by everything and bully people into silence with death threats. Basically it's some retarded website where left-wing nonbinary furries with no life and black normie socialists come together to jerk off about how much they hate Donald Trump, all within the limits of 280 characters.

Truth: Twitter is a Web 2.0 site for fags/dykes, e-beggers/failed artists, preteens and dingdongs who are too stupid to use IRC, and need turn-based chat to play oppression olympics on. Typical Twitter users subject each other to a relentless feed of minutia in their otherwise meaningless lives, known as tweets, 24/7/365. Got a new job? Just drank a glass of milk? Took a big shit? Tweet it!

TL;DR: LiveJournal on crack. (No wait, LJ died years ago.) Or maybe: Slack on roids. Yeah, that's the ticket.

(( HOLY SHIT ELON MUSK BOUGHT TWITTER FOR 100 TRILLION SHEKELS WORTH OF SHITCOIN ))

2018-2020

missing lol

May 2017

Featured Article - Snapchat

Snapchat is yet another photo sharing app created by yet another group of ivy league losers who decided that there simply wasn't enough ways to allow 16-year-old girls to send duckfaces to their insipid friends. It is, at least, the very first piece of social media to recognize that no selfie has ever been important enough to deserve to exist for more than 10 seconds.

Snapchat is currently one of the top five social networking platforms, along with Failbook, Twitter, and Instagram, thus proving once again that there's never such as thing as an oversaturated marketplace on the internets. Facebook, trying in vain to prevent their continued downward spiral into obscurity, attempted to purchase Snapchat for $3 billion, but was denied, thus cementing their eventual internment in the Halls of Fail, just like Myspace, and literally anything else Christopher Poole has done before them.

(( POOR MAN'S INSTAGRAM ))

March 2017

Featured Article - Pol/

4Chan hosts many subsections. One of them is dedicated to politics and is known as /pol/. Once housing libertarian fags who sucked Ron Paul's wrinkly old ass dick, the board quickly pushed further towards neo naziism and had a massive influence on the 2016 Elections and getting Trump elected. Trump himself, along with countless people of importance (such as FBI agents, whistleblowers, etc) have made /pol/ their home. Like 4chan in general, /pol/ creates much of the memes and news that circulates the planet. Welcome to /pol/, or Politically Incorrect. Protip: 4chan /pol/ = le reddit faggotry and kiddie pool. 8ch.net/pol = actual good intel.

(( MUH CTR SHILLS ))

July 2014

Featured Article - SJWiki

SJWiki is a collection of Tumblr-expressions femsplained by feminist hacks by the use of feelies. The wiki prides itself of not having any facts, as facts is known to cause triggers. The articles range from completely batshit crazy to extremely batshit crazy. The articles are written by ugly dykes and trannies, often a combination of the two. You are not allowed to write if you happen to be male and find women attractive.

(( CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE ))

July 2014

Featured Article - MLP Forums

Of all the websites on the internet, one certainly stands out: MLP Forums, a collection of autistic, obese, lonely, closet furries. Typical members are usually 30-year-old basement dwelling neckbeards who fap to Sonic and furry porn and continuously whine about da hatuhz ruining their wonder time of friendship on the internet while trying to be tough and pose with their sword collection.

The picture to the right is from an actual forum meetup IRL. Note the neckbeard, fat fuck, and nigger. There are no girls on the forum at all.

(( CRINGE WARNING: ENTER IF YOU DARE ))

February 2014

Featured Article - PayPal

GayPal (formerly known as PayPal) is one of the world's biggest internet scams which unlike most other scams, is welcomed into the tubes with open arms. Owned by eBay, it has been crafted very carefully into the world's largest unregulated bank, meaning eBay can and will steal all your money whenever they so feel. eBay promotes them by not just the lie that PayPal is safe, but also the lie that no other payment form is safe and has caused everyone to stop paying their rent, taxes, bridge tolls, restaurants, grocery stores, and hookers because they won't take PayPal.

(( GAYPAL ))