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ForeverKailyn: Difference between revisions
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It is interesting to note, however, that Mooreen is able to hold down a steady job at Goodwill, has a driver's license, and holds a college degree, unlike Kailyn. | It is interesting to note, however, that Mooreen is able to hold down a steady job at Goodwill, has a driver's license, and holds a college degree, unlike Kailyn. | ||
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Kailyn (more affectionately known as "Gorilla") has been steadily gaining weight for years. The only vegetables she eats are cucumbers (with ranch), carrots (with ranch), and potatoes. The only protein she really likes is chicken, preferably coming from a can and fried in a lot of oil. See Imgur album for proof.[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0] | Kailyn (more affectionately known as "Gorilla") has been steadily gaining weight for years. The only vegetables she eats are cucumbers (with ranch), carrots (with ranch), and potatoes. The only protein she really likes is chicken, preferably coming from a can and fried in a lot of oil. See Imgur album for proof.[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0] | ||
=== Pregnancy (2013) === | |||
Kailyn had a miscarriage in March 2013. Once her miscarriage was revealed in October through her CafeMom posts, she proceeded to tell everyone (including random strangers) on KiK the gory details, much to everyone's dismay. | |||
Despite voicing countless times that she would be waiting until her late 20s to have children, Kailyn finally got pregnant in late 2013 after a supposed 'seven months of trying'. Since the beginning she has underplayed how desperately she wanted a girl, while clearly dreading the possibility of having a boy. She has pestered her YouTube subscribers for gifts throughout the pregnancy, while insisting that her family can give the baby everything it needs, with or without gifts. Despite claiming that her baby is now her top priority, Kailyn has preferred to spend thousands of dollars on expensive makeup and clothes instead of buying things for her child. She claimed she was having two baby showers--one held by her mom and the other by the church Matt's family attends. It was later revealed that she had lied about the church offering to host a baby shower for her. When confronted, the church expressed disgust that it was associated with Kai. | |||
Revision as of 07:24, 23 February 2014
"ForeverKailyn" Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes (or Kai, KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn and other associated names) is a 23-year-old self-proclaimed YouTube Beauty Guru, Socialite and Makeup Artist from Bowie, Maryland.
In actuality, she is a shit-talker, as well as a fabulous source of entertainment, endless scandals, and drama. She's also a fat, lazy unemployed cunt who lives in her childhood bedroom despite being married and pregnant. Kailyn has had multiple sites dedicated to her, her trolls, and her numerous mishaps.
In addition to being "home-schooled" and heavily sheltered by her dip-fucking-shit mother, it is speculated that Queen Kai suffers from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, but she claims she is not disabled. However, her lack of basic social skills, reasoning skills, reading ability and lack of common sense say otherwise. She has admitted to being tested in her younger years. It is speculated that her mother hides her condition from Kailyn herself, which is why Kailyn denies it when asked.
As of February 2014, Kailyn has been in hibernation, hiding from the blow-up over her most recent scandal.
—ForeverKailyn pronouncing NARS Taj Mahal blush | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Kai's Supporting Cast
Family
Kailyn was born to Lisa Wilcher (previously Lisa Sokoloski, also known as Mama Wheelchair) and Michael Wilcher, who looks like fuckin' Bugs Bunny. Her parents are separated but not divorced. Kai claims they are still friends, although it appears she only sees her father on Father's Day and Christmas. Papa Wilcher is a qualified electrician working a government job and financially supports Kailyn and her mother.
Lisa runs a hair salon in her basement called 'Lisa's Hair Shanty' and "works" two days a week. She and Kai live a stress-free, job-free life subsidized by Papa Wilcher. While Kailyn says that she and her mother are close, like "best friends", this just seems to mean that her mother pays for everything, watches TV with her, washes her hair, heats up sweet and sour canned chicken in the microwave for her, gives her rides to go shopping, and occasionally ghostwrites for Kai to get her out of trouble. They eat their food off paper plates and use plastic cups as they are too lazy to wash dishes.
Kailyn's extended family include her grandmother Dorothy Sokoloski who lives on the street over from the Wilcher's residence. Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away in 2007. Her uncle Stephen E. Sokoloski is blamed for giving Kailyn acne, and lives with his mother (Kailyn's grandmother). She also has a younger male cousin.
Bella
Kailyn's constant companion, besides her mother.
Friends
Besides superficial friendships with fellow makeup hoarders, Kai has mentioned only a handful of real life friends by name, and most of those friendships have ended because (according to Kailyn) they turned on her. It is far more likely that her friends simply grew tired of associating with someone who only talks about makeup and TV, and makes no attempt at conversation unless it's about herself. Basically, no one wants to be friends with a self-centered, lazy, greedy, manipulative, sex-crazed retard.
David (Boyfriend from 2006-2011)
David aka "Davit" was Kai's first serious boyfriend. They started dating when she was 15. He liked to party, drink heavily and do recreational drugs. According to Kailyn, he was an asshole, but that might have had something to do with her camming and flirting with other guys behind his back. Throughout their relationship, they experienced many "highs" and lows, like the time a giggling Kailyn publicly dumped David on BlogTV, at the urge of onlookers. David had a circle of friends and would often bring Kailyn along to parties, leaving her to stand awkwardly in a corner by herself as she longingly watched him stuff his face with pizza.
Davit has revealed that Kailyn and he had a threesome with a guy nicknamed "Hot Dave". Davit was pissed because Kailyn passionately kissed Hot Dave, something she had never done to him before.
Kailyn became pregnant when she was around 16-17, and despite being completely unprepared mentally and financially to have a baby, Kailyn wanted to be a mother. Thank goodness Mama Wilcher and Davit talked her into having an abortion.
After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video, owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
Matt (2011-current, Husband)
Matthew "Madd" Hughes is a fat, effeminate, doughfaced stupid hick from "the country" part of Maryland. He's also Kai's (seemingly estranged) husband. Kailyn met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish, when he was still dating Maureen. Their relationship is beautifully described by Matt as "she's exactly like me, except a girl, hurhurhur." Having found true love, the two were engaged 3 months later and planned to be married at least a year later. Good idea, as they barely knew each other. But wedding bells rang on April 13, 2012, just a couple of months after the engagement. Kailyn and Matt were married at the courthouse, without any family or friends to witness the occasion. Kailyn wore a cheap dress, plastic tiara and $40 shoes while Matt wore a plain white shirt with black trousers.
Matt works part-time at Walmart and has been saving up money to get an apartment with Kai. It might take another few years, since his priorities are video games, frogs and junk food, but it's certain to happen some day.
Married Life (2012-current)
Kai continues to live with her mother in Bowie whilst Matt lives with his parents and sister in Leonardtown. He does his duty and drives down to see Kai once a month for his conjugal visit, treats her to Red Robin, pumpth her puthy fulla thperm while she stays over at his parents' place for a few days before he dumps her back at Mama's Shanty.
In late 2013, Kailyn realized that it's not normal for a married couple to live over an hour apart because it shows how little they actually care about each other. She has since been pretending that Matt has moved in with her, despite the fact that his clothes, video games, or presence have yet to be seen in any pictures or videos. There was a scandal involving Instagram geo-tags, which revealed that photos Kailyn took while claiming to be at the Wilcher's residence with her hubby, were actually taken while she was sleeping over at his parents' place. Despite being called out, she turned off her geo-tags and carried on with the pretense that she and Matt live together.
Matt is terrified of Kai's trolls and wants nothing to do with her Youtube or online drama. Whenever anything in Matt's personal life is brought up by the mean troll ladies, Kai is threatened with divorce and beatings. Matt has to give baby Kai a stern talking to and a warning to keep him out of her online life!
Kai plans to take Matt's name...one day. Until then, she usually goes by "Kailyn Wilcher", or "Kailyn Marie Hughes" when she's feeling particularly married.
Basically their marriage is a fucking sham and didn't need to happen. There's no point.
Maureen
Mooreen (Maureen Elizabeth Lewis) first became known after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane mental patient, as evidenced in her obsessive stalking of Kailyn after she and Matt got together. Maureen alleged that she and Matt had been dating for several months, with plans to settle down. Matt insisted that they'd only gone on two dates and barely knew each other. However, Maureen was able to produce text evidence[1][2] that proved she and Matt had been dating for at least 3 months, when he started cheating on her with Kailyn.
—One of the texts Matt had sent Maureen | ||
Maureen started harassing Kailyn for many weeks, even logging on to post on the troll forums and sites that had information on Kai. Not long afterwards, she found another obese white whale to love, after failed attempts to seduce Kai's ex David. She still stalks Kailyn and Matt, sometimes in person. Not much has been heard of her since. It is best to avoid her unless you need lulzy info that she might have.
It is interesting to note, however, that Mooreen is able to hold down a steady job at Goodwill, has a driver's license, and holds a college degree, unlike Kailyn.
The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations
FASlyn started out on YouTube in 2007, during the glory days of the YouTube beauty community. She was a fan of so-called "beauty gurus" like xsparkage, and wanted to be just like them. With a twinkle in her MAC-decorated eye, she made her appearance with a beautiful mullet cut and her first face routine video. Notice how it takes her 9 fucking minutes to apply foundation? Nothing has changed since 2007, including her narcissistic tendency to stare at herself in the mirror...while on camera. If there is anything amazing about Kai, it would be her complete inability to improve her makeup skills, even after years of daily practice.
KaiKaod was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was subsequently rage-deleted when new scandals emerged.
The YouTube Sensation: ForeverKailyn, SincerelyKailyn
ForeverKailyn (Currently Deleted)
Kailyn's latest and greatest channel. Despite years of making beauty videos, she has only reached a sad high of nearly 13,000 subscribers when she deleted fucking everything in February 2014. Her average videos received 1000-3000 views. She disabled ratings because she couldn't handle all the dislikes she would get, and theorized that a handful of "haters" were creating 50+ accounts each just to downvote her videos.
Kailyn's Kontent:
- annoying video intros with her dead-inside sociopath eyes looking at you "HAYYYY GUUUUUYSSSS"
- haul after haul of cheap, shitty drugstore makeup to add to her hoard
- purchases of products she already owns duplicates of
- reviews of products she begged companies to send her for free
- a showcase of her aversion to anything flattering
- ill-fitting, out-of-breath OOTDs (Outfit of the Day) with Walmart, Target and Kohl's clothes
- Kai applying makeup just to sit inside, diddle herself and watch General Hospital
What you will never see on ForeverKailyn:
- skilled makeup application or how-tos, tricks or tips
- hauls of interesting, higher end makeup that every fucking guru doesn't already have
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