Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

ForeverKailyn: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>LPB
imported>Laygins
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
<center>[[File:Kaiglory.jpg|500px]]</center><br>
<center>[[File:Kaiglory.jpg|500px]]</center><br>


[[File:Foreverkailyn.jpg‎ |200px|thumb|right|Hello Every-juaaan!]]  '''"ForeverKailyn" AKA Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes''' (or Kai, KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn and other associated names) is a 23-year-old [[fail|self-proclaimed YouTube Beauty Guru, Socialite and Makeup Artist]] from Bowie, Maryland.
[[File:Foreverkailyn.jpg‎ |200px|thumb|left|Hello Every-juaaan!]]  ''' "ForeverKailyn" ''' aka '''Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes''' (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is a fat, lazy, white trash 23-year-old self-proclaimed YouTube [[fail|Beauty Guru, Socialite and Makeup Artist]] from Bowie, Maryland. To [[trolls|the rest of the world]], she is a source of lulz, [[rape|scandals]], and retard drama.  


In actuality, she is a shit-talker, as well as a fabulous source of entertainment, endless scandals, and drama. She's also a fat, lazy unemployed cunt who [[OH WOW|still lives in her childhood bedroom despite being married and pregnant]]. Kailyn has had multiple sites dedicated to her, her trolls, and her numerous mishaps.
The most notoriety linked to Kai was being featured on Vh1's Best Week Ever blog for her signature "Hey Everyjuan" video intro phrase, and her segment in [[drag queen|Willam's]] Beatdown: Episode 9.


In addition to being [[homeschooling|"home-schooled"]] and heavily sheltered by her dip-fucking-shit mother, it is speculated that Queen Kai suffers from [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]], although she claims she is not disabled. However, her lack of basic social skills, reasoning skills, reading ability and lack of common sense say otherwise. She has admitted to being tested in her younger years. It is speculated that her mother hides her condition from Kailyn herself, which is why Kailyn denies it when asked.
As of February 2014, Kailyn has [[delete fucking everything|gone into hiding]] after she and her [[My Husband|husband]] were accused of [[surprise sex|rape]].


<center>{{morphquote|mqtest1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|I have no disability ass|'''Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes'''|This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.|'''ForeverKailyn trying to pronounce NARS Taj Mahal blush'''|Everyone gives up their diet on the weekend.|'''ForeverKailyn on BlogTV'''|I have peroid dummy|'''ForeverKailyn, on her period'''|I have so many stuff!|'''ForeverKailyn'''|It smells like... Paris amour.|'''ForeverKailyn describing the Paris Amour candle scent'''|This is pink slice|'''ForeverKailyn attempting to say Pinksickle'''|I don't have gentle herpes.|'''ForeverKailyn'''|This is rosebud slave|'''ForeverKailyn pronouncing "rosebud salve"'''|Sanba? Samba?|''ForeverKailyn pronouncing "scuba"'''|Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)|'''ForeverKailyn, before she spent $1000 over 3 months on useless make-up for herself'''|Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not|'''ForeverDelusional'''|I need to be respons...ibilities|'''ForeverResponsible'''|border=white|background=white}}</center>
<center>{{morphquote|mqtest1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|I have no disability ass|'''Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes'''|This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.|'''ForeverKailyn trying to pronounce NARS Taj Mahal blush'''|Everyone gives up their diet on the weekend.|'''ForeverKailyn on BlogTV'''|I have peroid dummy|'''ForeverKailyn, on her period'''|I have so many stuff!|'''ForeverKailyn'''|It smells like... Paris amour.|'''ForeverKailyn describing the Paris Amour candle scent'''|This is pink slice|'''ForeverKailyn attempting to say Pinksickle'''|I don't have gentle herpes.|'''ForeverKailyn'''|This is rosebud slave|'''ForeverKailyn pronouncing "rosebud salve"'''|Sanba? Samba?|''ForeverKailyn pronouncing "scuba"'''|Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)|'''ForeverKailyn, before she spent $1000 over 3 months on useless make-up for herself'''|Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not|'''ForeverDelusional'''|I need to be respons...ibilities|'''ForeverResponsible'''|border=white|background=white}}</center>


== The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations ==
[[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|FAS]]lyn started out on YouTube in 2007, during the glory days of the YouTube beauty community. She was a fan of so-called "beauty gurus" like xsparkage, and wanted to be just like them. With a twinkle in her MAC-decorated eye, she made her appearance with a beautiful mullet cut and her first face routine video. Notice how it takes her 9 fucking minutes to apply foundation? Nothing has changed since 2007, including her narcissistic tendency to stare at herself in the mirror...while on camera. If there is anything amazing about Kai, it would be her complete inability to improve her makeup skills, even after years of daily practice.


KaiKaod was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was subsequently rage-deleted when new scandals emerged.


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Face Routine: Kai's First Video'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>kChjXc6wh1c</youtube></center>
|}
== The YouTube Sensation: ForeverKailyn, SincerelyKailyn ==
=== ForeverKailyn (Currently Deleted) ===
Kailyn's latest and greatest channel. Despite years of making beauty videos, she has only reached a sad high of nearly 13,000 subscribers when she [[deleted fucking everything]] in February 2014. Her average videos received 1000-3000 views. She disabled ratings because she couldn't handle all the dislikes she would get, and theorized that a handful of "haters" were creating 50+ accounts each just to downvote her videos.


==== Kailyn's Kontent: ====
* annoying video intros with her dead-inside sociopath eyes looking at you "HAYYYY GUUUUUYSSSS"
* haul after haul of cheap, shitty drugstore makeup to add to her hoard
* purchases of products she already owns duplicates of
* reviews of products she begged companies to send her for free
* a showcase of her aversion to anything flattering
* ill-fitting, out-of-breath OOTDs (Outfit of the Day) with Walmart, Target and Kohl's clothes
* Kai applying makeup just to sit inside, diddle herself and watch ''General Hospital''


==== What you will never see on ForeverKailyn: ====
* skilled makeup application or how-tos, tricks or tips
* hauls of interesting, higher end makeup that every fucking guru doesn't already have
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Tutorial: Red Vampy Makeup'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>MoCdxE112_o</youtube></center>
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''ForeverKailyn OOTD'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>k7hTs5s2VCg</youtube></center>


=== SincerelyKailyn (Currently Deleted) ===
== Sunflower Associations ==
The SincerelyKailyn channel was created after Kailyn's main channel's ad revenue was suspended for violating Google AdWords' user agreement. Kailyn, being the [[idiot|genius]] she is, probably thought that constantly clicking on her own ads was going to make her more money.


SincerelyKailyn was likely made with Mama Wheelchair's info, to get around the suspension and earn Kai some pennies. She began to post food vlogs, showing off her favorite snacks and demonstrating the metric fuck-ton sugar she likes in her cup of coffee. She also offered insight into her personal life with videos of her and hubby Matt "hurr hurr"-ing around town, mostly at Walmart or in his bedroom. After her pregnancy was announced, she began posting pregnancy updates. By far the most tedious videos on this channel were her tag videos.
=== Personal Life & Family ===
[[Asperger's Syndrome|Disability ass]] demon Kailyn Marie Wilcher (aka Kai (kay), ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaka, Kaiveman, Gorilla, [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|FAS rere]], Potato-head Retarded thing, etc.) was birthed on May 18th 1990 to '''Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher''' (aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy) and dirty ape [[Spics|beaner]] '''Michael Wilcher''' (aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher). Kailyn was born with [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]] and [[Asperger's Syndrome]] which has made her slow but has also given her a lulzy speech impediment. Kai's parents are separated, and Kai lives as a [[Basement-dweller|"stay-at-home daughter"]] with Lisa in a Bowie (aka Booie) mansion decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: [[poor|paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups]].  
As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato head was retarded and deformed, Kai was [[garbage|doomed forever]]. Mama Wilsher tried Kai in various elementary schools before pulling her out of [[special education|retard classes]] so she could do all of Kai's homework and let Kai rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her room (formally Pink Dungeon), which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a 2nd grade. Due to her [[enabler|moron of a mother]], Kai has never been told she has any disabilities even though she has a hockey-stick palmar crease, a symptom belonging to only those with FAS, and was thoroughly retard-tested as a small [[children|demon]].  


<center><youtube>gKhkowmSyq0</youtube></center><br />{{squote|I'm just gonna try one...scoop...[of sugar]|'''ForeverKailyn, adding 1/4 cup of sugar'''}}


<center><youtube>zAaxn2DJf_U</youtube></center><br />{{squote|Our life is not that exciting!|'''Kailyn and Matt, like no shit'''}}
[[Image:XRH83.jpg|thumb|right|Meet the Wilchers]]


== Kai's Supporting Cast ==
Lisa [[A Game of Pretend|works]] from an in-home salon '''[http://www.yellowpages.com/bowie-md/mip/lisas-hair-shanty-466364411 Lisa's Hair Shanty]'''  twice a week doing old lady perms for the neighborhood hags while getting [[drunk|inebriated]]. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, [[idiot|enabling]] mother is her best friend, but in [[irl|reality]] she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.
To support his [[retard|pride and joy]], Michael works at a courthouse cleaning air vents and is forced to live off microwave dinners in his shitty shack to ensure Lisa and Kai live a [[lazy|subsidized life]].
Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle '''Stephen E. Sokoloski''' (aka Uncle-Papa Stephen), his wife, and kai's archenemy, her 5 year old cousin, '''Eli''' who all live with granny, '''Dorothy Sokoloski'''. Her grandfather, '''Stephen R. Sokoloski''', passed away at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling.


=== Family ===
The Kween blamed uncle Stephen for giving her [[acne|pizza face]] genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being a [[fat|walrus]].  
[[Image:XRH83.jpg|thumb|right|Meet the Wilchers]]Kailyn was born to Lisa Wilcher (previously Lisa Sokoloski, also known as Mama Wheelchair) and Michael Wilcher, who looks like fuckin' Bugs Bunny. Her parents are separated [[lazy|but not divorced]]. Kai claims they are still friends, although it appears she only sees her father on Father's Day and Christmas. Papa Wilcher is a qualified electrician working a government job and financially supports Kailyn and her mother.


Lisa runs a hair salon in her basement called 'Lisa's Hair Shanty' and "works" two days a week. She and Kai live a stress-free, job-free life subsidized by Papa Wilcher. While Kailyn says that she and her mother are close, like "best friends", this just seems to mean that her mother pays for everything, watches TV with her, washes her hair, heats up sweet and sour canned chicken in the microwave for her, gives her rides to go shopping, and occasionally ghostwrites for Kai to get her out of trouble. They eat their food off paper plates and use plastic cups as they are too lazy to wash dishes.
==== Diet & Hygiene ====


Kailyn's extended family include her grandmother Dorothy Sokoloski who lives on the street over from the Wilcher's residence. Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, [[AIDS|passed away]] in 2007. Her maternal grandmother has a [[trailer|beach house]] in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
[[File:Kailips.jpg|thumb|left|HAYYYY GUYTH!]]


Kai claims she [[incest|inherited her acne from her uncle]], Stephen E. Sokoloski, who still lives with his mother.
Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and will only bathe in a bath and she does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. [[enabler|Mama Alchy]] hoses Kai off in the driveway once a week washes her kair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl.
To add to the smell, the Kween has been steadily been gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the trolls harp on the [[whale|obese whale]] and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the trolls estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and are convinced she's well over 200lbs as she has moved into plus-sized clothing and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers.
See Imgur album of the Kween's favorite foods.[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0]


=== Bella ===
=== Bella ===
Lisa bought Kailyn a [[dog]] so she could have a [[bestiality|friend]] to [[cunnilingus|play with]]. They [[still a retard|paid thousands of dollars]] for what they thought was a purebred Yorkie. When Bella got older it became clear she was a mutt. Kailyn claims she "would [[fuck|love]] Bella even if she was a [[horse cock|horse]]."
Lisa bought Kai her one and only friend, Bella, a [[retard|derpy]] mutt sold to them for thousands of dollars [[trolling irl|under the guise]] of being a purebred Yorkie. When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion because she never gets to go outside, she is whimpering under the retard-strength of her owner. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her [[inhalants|"act silly"]].


Kailyn has an [[Animal abuse|interesting definition]] of love as Bella has been horribly abused her entire life. She spends most of her time locked inside a pink cage in Kai's bedroom and shits on puppy pads because Kai is too lazy to walk her. During a [[BlogTV]] broadcast, Kai sprayed air freshener in Bella's face to make her [[inhalants|"act silly"]].


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
Line 78: Line 46:


=== Friends ===
=== Friends ===
Besides [[You Don't Have Any Friends|superficial friendships]] with fellow makeup hoarders, Kai has mentioned only a handful of real life friends by name, and most of those friendships have ended because (according to Kailyn) they turned on her. It is far more likely that her friends simply grew tired of associating with someone who only talks about makeup and TV, and makes no attempt at conversation unless it's about herself. Basically, no one wants to be friends with a self-centered, lazy, greedy, manipulative, sex-crazed retard.
Besides [[You Don't Have Any Friends|superficial friendships]] with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend, who is no longer her friend because she's a [[nigger|darkie]].  


Kai used to meet [[dykes|pretty ladies]] on [[Craigslist]] and invite them over to her house to [[scissoring|do each other's makeup]]. Several of them have said that Kai was a [[creepy]] [[rapist|sexual predator]] with severe B.O.


=== David (Boyfriend from 2006-2011) ===
=== David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011) ===
[[File:Davitkai.jpg|thumb|Kissy kissy!|left]]David aka "Davit" was Kai's first serious boyfriend. They started dating when she was 15. He liked to party, drink heavily and do recreational drugs. According to Kailyn, he was an asshole, but that might have had something to do with her camming and flirting with other guys behind his back. Throughout their relationship, they experienced many "highs" and lows, like the time a giggling Kailyn publicly dumped David on BlogTV, at the urge of onlookers. David had a circle of friends and would often bring Kailyn along to parties, leaving her to stand awkwardly in a corner by herself as she longingly watched him stuff his face with pizza.
 
[[Image:Fr7sO.jpg‎|thumb|left|Hungry Hippo]]  
 
'''David''' (aka Davit) is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old retarded potato-head thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up being [[abortion|aborted]] at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including [[cam whore|camming]], shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a [[gay|3-some]] with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting craigslist for [[tranny|trannies]] and [[dykes]] to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011 Kai broke up with Davit on blog-tv to appease trolls telling her to do it for the [[lulz|lulz]], and soon after ended the relationship for good.
 
[[File:Davitkai.jpg|thumb|Kissy kissy!|right]]
 


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
Line 90: Line 63:
|}
|}


Davit has revealed that Kailyn and he [[pity sex|had a threesome]] with a guy nicknamed "Hot Dave". Davit was pissed because Kailyn passionately kissed Hot Dave, something she had never done to him before.
Kailyn became pregnant when she was around 16-17, and despite being completely unprepared mentally and financially to have a baby, Kailyn wanted to be a mother. Thank goodness Mama Wilcher and Davit talked her into having an abortion.


After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video, owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video, owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
Line 107: Line 77:




=== Matt (2011-current, Husband) ===
[[File:Mattliftskai.jpg|thumb|Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow (wife).]]Matthew "Madd" Hughes is a fat, effeminate, doughfaced stupid hick from [[inbred|"the country"]] part of Maryland with a [[retard]] [[fetish]]. He's also Kai's (seemingly estranged) husband. Kailyn met Matt in the fall of 2011 on [[Plenty of Fish]], when he was still dating [[nigger|Maureen]]. Their relationship is beautifully described by Matt as "she's exactly like me, except a girl, hurhurhur." Having found [[desperate|true love]], the two were engaged 3 months later and planned to be married [[lies|at least a year later]]. Good idea, as they barely knew each other. But wedding bells rang on April 13, 2012, just a couple of months after the engagement. Kailyn and Matt were married at the courthouse, without any family or friends to witness the occasion. Kailyn wore a [[poor|cheap dress from Kohl's]] and a plastic tiara while Matt wore a short-sleeved button up from [[Walmart]].


Matt works part-time at Walmart and [[lies|has been saving up money]] to get an apartment with Kai. It might take another few years, since his priorities are video games, frogs and junk food, but it's certain to happen [[never|some day]].
=== Matt (Husband, 2011-Current) ===
[[File:Mattliftskai.jpg|thumb|Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow (wife).]]
 
Matthew Todd Hughes (aka Matt Drost, Madd, Hubby) is a [[redneck|fat, dough-faced, retard]] fag-lover living in Maryland's "country" working as a cart-pusher at [[wal-mart|Wallyworld]]. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on [[Plenty of Fish|Plenty of Fish]], when he was still dating [[nigger|Maureen Lewis]]. Mama Wilcher drove Kai to meet Matt for a date at Starbucks while supervising them from the parking lot. 3 short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.
On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulz were had. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the [[white trash|elegant St. Mary's County courthouse]]. Kai wore a hideous ill-fitted $20 dress from Kohl's with with a dollar store tiara, while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dress in a Vintage McDonald's employee uniform.
Matt has shown sexual interest in [[G.R.I.D.S.|the gays]] by pseudo-hating them, and even making his potatohead wife go to church to cure her of [[satan|bisexualism]].
 
 
==== Mooren ====
[[Image:Index.jpg|thumb|Hi Maureen|left]]
 
'''[[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|Maureen Elizabeth Lewis]]''' (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, Nigger, Niggereen, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a [[batshit insane]] welfare nigger with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech, and, like Kai, a [[Asperger's Syndrome|lulzy speech impediment]]. Matt [[lies|denied knowing]] the wild ape, but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj2430fkt30][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcDzncYLEc8]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy [[internet stalking|obsessed stalking]] ensured.
 
{{quote|weally, madd? weally? ...weally?|The ravishing phrase Mooren repeated while stalking Madd at his work}}
 
Mooren found forums and blogs [[internets|online]] dedicated to trolling the FAS queen and started [[Infotainment|posting dirt]] on them herself. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally [[Don't feed the trolls|filmed her encounter]] with her ex, Matt. The [[crazy]] nignog has since slowed down, but is still stalking the couple. Trolls will only [[bait]] her for the lulz.
 
 
=== Married Life (2012-Current) ===
 
[[Image:IUcvt.jpg|thumb|lookin' tho thtunnin on her weddin' day|left]]
 
As of 2014, Kai and Madd [[forever alone|live separately]] with their parents. Kai continues to live with her [[Concerned Mother|caregiver]] in Bowie while Matt lives with his [[white trash]] parents, '''Mary C. Hughes''' and '''Todd D. Hughes''', and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, '''Amber''', in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has since realized his wife is a hideous whale and visits once a month at most to [[Sex In Christ|pump his whale full of sperm]]. When confronted by the trolls about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt [[bullshit|lived with her]] in the glamorous Wilcher masion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after trolls found her uploading to [[instagram|instagram]] with geotags in Madd's location.
In the beginning, Matt thought Kai was [[internet celebrity|internet famous]] and thought he would get [[no|worshipped]]. Trolls have since drove him off the internet for good. Matt started to control Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.  


==== Married Life (2012-current) ====
[[Image:IUcvt.jpg|thumb|lookin' thooo stuneeeen on her weddin' day|left]] Kai continues to live with her mother in Bowie whilst Matt lives with his parents and sister in Leonardtown. He does his duty and drives down to see Kai once a month for his conjugal visit, treats her to Red Robin, pumpth her puthy fulla thperm while she stays over at his parents' place for a few days before he dumps her back at Mama's Shanty.


In late 2013, Kailyn realized that it's not normal for a married couple to live over an hour apart because it shows how little they actually care about each other. She has since been pretending that Matt has moved in with her, despite the fact that his clothes, video games, or presence have yet to be seen in any pictures or videos. There was a scandal involving Instagram geo-tags, which revealed that photos Kailyn took while claiming to be at the Wilcher's residence with her hubby, were actually taken while she was sleeping over at his parents' place. Despite being called out, she turned off her geo-tags and carried on with the pretense that she and Matt live together.
==== Pregnancy (2013) ====


Matt is terrified of Kai's trolls and wants nothing to do with her Youtube or online drama. Whenever anything in Matt's personal life is brought up by the mean troll ladies, Kai is threatened with divorce and beatings. Matt has to give baby Kai a stern talking to and a warning to keep him out of her online life!
[[File:ForeverKailynBabyBump.jpg|thumb|right|She's not showing yet, that's just her normal [[gunt|body]]. No, seriously.]]


Kai plans to take Matt's name...one day. Until then, she usually goes by "Kailyn Wilcher", or "Kailyn Marie Hughes" when she's feeling [[forever alone|particularly married]].
The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having been a [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|waste of space]], she was [[pregnant|desperate for a purpose]]. Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 [[epic win|aborted itself]] in March of 2013. Months later, our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 and is expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be [[welfare|government leech]]. Kai continues to purchase hundreds of dollars worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month despite the anticipation of her [[lolcow|retarded potato spawn's arrival]].
Since Kai has no friends, Mama Alchy will be holding a baby shower involving their 5 family members and another was claimed to be hosted by the in-laws' church, [[church|Callaway Baptist Church]]. The church has since denied the claims and is disgusted that it has being associated with such a retarded potato-head thing.
 
 
== The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations ==
KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled user name and the most lulzy wtfery to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being [[stoned|high as a motherfucking kite]] which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger,[[dyke|xSparkage]], and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.
KaiKaod was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was again [[baleet|rage-deleted]] when new a scandal emerged.
 
 
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Face Routine: Kai's First Video'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>kChjXc6wh1c</youtube></center>
|}
 
 
== The YouTube Sensation==
 
=== ForeverKailyn (Currently Deleted) ===
Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter. Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and average views receiving 1,000-3,000 views, it has taken Kai several years to get to such [[fail|shitty success]]. Kai had her Google [[jew golds|ad revenue]] disabled almost as soon as it was granted due to the Kween clicking her own ads in hopes for bigger paychecks[https://productforums.google.com/forum/#!topic/youtube/z6xAILZmKl8]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and, in the past, outfit of the day (OOTD) videos which have ceased due to her [[fat|overexerting]] her fatass to show an outfit. Rating are always disabled on her channels because [[troll face|the rating bar is always red]].
 
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Tutorial: Red Vampy Makeup'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>MoCdxE112_o</youtube></center>


Basically, their marriage is a fucking sham and didn't need to happen. There's no point.-*+6
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''ForeverKailyn OOTD'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>k7hTs5s2VCg</youtube></center>


==== Maureen ====
=== SincerelyKailyn (Currently Deleted) ===
Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly [[weblog|vlog]]-targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and recently - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her [[iphone|iphone 4 not 4s]].


[[Image:Index.jpg|thumb|Hi Maureen|left]]Mooren (Maureen Elizabeth Lewis) first became known after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a [[batshit insane]] mental patient, as evidenced in her obsessive stalking of Kailyn after she and Matt got together. Maureen alleged that she and Matt had been dating for several months, with plans to settle down. Matt insisted that they'd only gone on two dates and barely knew each other. However, Maureen was able to produce text evidence[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj2430fkt30][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcDzncYLEc8] that proved she and Matt had been dating for at least 3 months, when he started cheating on her with Kailyn.
<center><youtube>gKhkowmSyq0</youtube></center><br />{{squote|I'm just gonna try one...scoop...[of sugar]|'''ForeverKailyn, adding 1/4 cup of sugar'''}}


{{quote|Lol i don't know if i could handle 7 kids lmao but we can start with one tho :) ahh|One of the texts Matt had sent Maureen}}
<center><youtube>zAaxn2DJf_U</youtube></center><br />{{squote|Our life is not that exciting!|'''Kailyn & Matt, like no shit'''}}


Maureen started harassing Kailyn for many weeks, even logging on to post on the troll forums and sites that had information on Kai. Not long afterwards, she found another obese white whale to love, after failed attempts to seduce Kai's ex David. She still stalks Kailyn and Matt, sometimes in person. Not much has been heard of her since. It is best to avoid her unless you need lulzy info that she might have.


It is interesting to note, however, that despite being an [[autism|actual retard]] Mooren is able to hold down a steady job at Goodwill, has a driver's license, and holds a college degree, unlike Kailyn.


=== Pregnancy (2013) ===
[[File:ForeverKailynBabyBump.jpg|thumb|right|She's not showing yet, that's just her normal [[gunt|body]]. No, seriously.]]Kailyn had a miscarriage in March 2013. Once her miscarriage was revealed in October through her CafeMom posts, she proceeded to tell everyone (including random strangers) on KiK the gory details, much to everyone's dismay.


Despite voicing countless times that she would be waiting until her late 20s to have children, Kailyn finally got pregnant in late 2013 after a supposed 'seven months of trying'. She has expressed how she wants to be a stay at home mom...forever. [[File:Dumbaos.jpg|thumb|left]] Since the beginning she has underplayed how desperately she wanted a girl, while clearly dreading the possibility of having a boy. She has pestered her YouTube subscribers for gifts throughout the pregnancy, while insisting that her family can give the baby everything it needs, with or without gifts. Despite claiming that her baby is now her top priority, Kailyn has preferred to spend thousands of dollars on expensive makeup and clothes instead of buying things for her child. She claimed she was having two baby showers--one held by her mom and the other by the church Matt's family attends. It was later revealed that she had lied about the church offering to host a baby shower for her. When confronted, the church expressed disgust that it was associated with Kai.
== Infamous Scandals ==


== Scandalous Kai ==
[[File:Kaiwithpot.jpg|thumb|right|Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.]]
[[File:Kaiwithpot.jpg|thumb|right|Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.]]Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big one a year. When Kailyn gets caught, she rage-deletes her social media accounts and YouTube channels, only to come crawling back a few months later. Kailyn's moment in the sun came about when she was featured on "Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9". It was a parody show that made fun of [[fail|certain beauty gurus]]. Willam laughed at Kai's teeth, hair, potato-shaped head, and her hair stylist mother.


=== Promiscuity, Camwhoring, Cheating ===
Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big one a year. When the [[rich and beautiful|mean pretty lady trolls]] catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween [[delete fucking everything|rage-deletes]] her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.  
Nudes were leaked when Kai sold her cellphone in 2008, having forgotten to delete the explicit photos before sending it to the buyer. The infamous 'shampoo bottle' picture (of a travel-sized shampoo bottle shoved up her vagina) was [[eye bleach|seen by many]] but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Several nudes do still exist and are available for viewing in the gallery below.


Additionally, Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her [[lazy|source of income]] for god knows how long, until she was discovered. She freaked out tried to close her account.
===N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating===


She has also cammed with users on MSN. She famously flashed her [[breasts|TITS]], before nonchalantly sticking her fork into a chicken pot pie that was sitting on her computer desk.
In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the [[moron]] forgotten to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably [[eye bleach|seen by many]] but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured aspie vag photo. See the gallery below for nudes still online.
Kailyn created a [[camwhore|MyFreeCams]] account under the username '''GirlyBrunette'''. This was her [[jew golds|source of nickles]] until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny [[pedobear|pedos]] to help her delete her account.
In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and using [[Philip Markoff|Cragslist]] to look for random [[hooker|sexcapades] and announcing she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls in online ads. Some of the craigslist [[victims|girls]] took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.  


Kailyn made many accounts on OKCupid, Cragslist, and more, looking for hook-ups and announcing she was bi-curious/bisexual. There are rumors that she had sex with a girl while dating David, but it's likely that, as in everything else she does, she was unsuccessful.


{{cg|DO NOT WANT|foreverkailyngallery1|center|<gallery>
{{cg|DO NOT WANT|foreverkailyngallery1|center|<gallery>
Line 162: Line 171:
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


=== ForeverJobless, ForeverFailGuru ===
 
 
 
 
 
 
=== ForeverPoor ===


{{quote|Making beauty videos is my career.|ForeverKailyn, on why she doesn't have a job.}}  
{{quote|Making beauty videos is my career.|ForeverKailyn, on why she doesn't have a job.}}  


Kailyn took a 40 hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a license of Makeup Artist. What was intended as an intro course to further education has become the entire foundation of her [[fail|makeup abilities]]. Of course, when you watch her videos (when you can stand to because of how fucking boring they are) it's obvious that she doesn't know anything about color placement, finding one's bone structure for flattering color application, blending, etc. She calls herself a guru, but has the muddiest, ugliest makeup application ever for someone who's been doing makeup on themselves for [[CAPSLOCK|SEVEN YEARS]].
Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a Makeup Artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.


[[File:ForeverKailynFlawless.jpg|thumb|Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.]]
[[File:ForeverKailynFlawless.jpg|thumb|Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.]]


When asked about her income, Kai has said she sold Scentsy and Avon, as well as worked as a shampoo girl in a salon. She now [[lies|claims]] to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, birthday money and Christmas money. It is speculated that she receives Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) but where her money comes from is a mystery. What's obvious, though, is she never intends on finding employment, citing that internet trolls have made it impossible for potential employers to Google her without finding her nudes/scandals. Never mind the fact that most employers (for the kind of jobs Kai could get) don't even bother to Google applicants.
[[File:Dumbaos.jpg|thumb|left]]
 
Kailyn tweeted that she was [[lies|off to a job interview]], probably just to appease all the people calling her a lazy leech. Not 20 minutes later, she tweeted that the interview went well. Once people started telling her it was impossible for her to travel to and from an interview, as well as sit for the interview itself in just 20 minutes, she deleted all tweets about it.


Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a [[welfare|stay-at-home mom]] "forever". How convenient for her!
More recently, when asked about her income, Kai has said she sells Scentsy and Avon, although she admitted she never sold anything. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announce her interview to shut the trolls up but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now [[lies|claims]] to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, holiday money, and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since [[The Google|she created her own internet-meets-reality demise]]. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!
Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''The job she thought she had'''</big></center><br>
|<center><big>'''The job that got away'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>gOdtkIgoKb8</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>gOdtkIgoKb8</youtube></center>
|}
|}


=== Pink Wednesday ===
=== Pink Wednesday ===
After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies promising a half-assed review in exchange for free shit. A new company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the ''Mean Girls'' movie), contacted Kailyn asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She made a video review, stating that she had been using the products for a few weeks and "laaaaahved" them all. However, it was fairly obvious from the untouched appearance of the soap and full capacity of the lotion that she had never even touched them. Her surprise and disgust over the vinegar-smelling body spray was even more obvious.


When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a butthurt video rant.
After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her [[poor|free shit]] in return for a [[retard|useless aspie review]]. An upcoming company called '''Pink Wednesday''' (a play on a quote from the movie ''Mean Girls''), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of [[fake|pseudoproducts]] produced by non-other than an [[epic win|internet troll]].
When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly [[baleet|deleted]] the review and made a video fishing [[victim complex|for sympathy]].


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
Line 191: Line 205:
|}
|}


=== Weight, Diet, Personal Hygiene  ===
=== Rape ===


[[File:Kailips.jpg|thumb|left|HAYYYY GUYSSSS]]Kailyn refuses to shower because she is worried about getting shampoo in her eyes and opts for bathing once a month instead. Trolls have caught her in videos with greasy hair, dandruff, etc., making it quite obvious that she pretty much never washes her own hair and instead begs her mom Lisa to wash her hair for her in "The Hair Shanty". It is said that Kai marinates in her own filth until Lisa hoses her down out back. It's lucky she was able to marry someone who is likely just as disgusting.
[[File:OLg3Pmx.jpg|thumb|right|Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.]]
 
Kailyn (more affectionately known as "Gorilla") has been steadily gaining weight for years. The only vegetables she eats are cucumbers (with ranch), carrots (with ranch), and potatoes. The only protein she really likes is chicken, preferably coming from a can and fried in a lot of oil. See Imgur album for proof.[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0]


=== RAAAAAAAAAPE ===
On October 2, 2013, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend A. In February, the scandal was announced to the trolls after a troll [[raid|pretending]] to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and Hubby, Madd, were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a [[bullshit|"misunderstanding"]]. After realizing she had turned even the most [[politically correct]], [[social justice]] communities against herself she [[delete fucking everything|deleted everything]]. On February 22, she reactivated her Facebook to post her email for anyone who wanted to continue buying her things off her baby registry.


[[File:OLg3Pmx.jpg|thumb|right|Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.]]


In October 2013, Kailyn and her "hubby" Matt allegedly raped their friend A. This issue was brought to light by someone who went undercover as a stan and messaged Kailyn on Facebook. Kailyn brought up the alleged rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", as if that's an excuse for rape. This incident was confirmed by Bowie PD police reports that confirmed there was indeed a call for rape on Kailyn's street on that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote a contradicting Facebook status saying it was all a "misunderstanding", and that Kailyn and A were still friends. Mama Wilcher and Kailyn then claimed that a family member of A had called the police, even though [[Idiot|Kailyn herself had previously admitted that the police let A use her bathroom and collect her belongings before leaving Kailyn's house]]. The Bowie PD also included the incident in their Uniform Crime Report to the state for the month of October, indicating that they believe the rape occurred despite not being able to continue their investigation because A dropped the charges.


After receiving a deluge of negative comments calling out her lies, the mistreatment of her so-called friend, and general disgust over her and her husband's behavior, Kailyn decided it was time to once again drop off the Internet. She deleted her beauty-related Facebook, Instagram and both her YouTube accounts on February 21, 2014. A sad day for no one. On February 22, she reactivated her Facebook to post her email for any "fans" who want to keep in touch. Anyone with half a brain knows that she only wants people to send her presents. She has since deleted the status after people called her out on her greediness.




=== Teeth and Speech Impediment ===


[[Image:Fr7sO.jpg‎|thumb|left|Hungry Hippo]]
It has been obvious since her early KaiKhaod days that Kailyn has too many damn teeth in her mouth. Baby pictures show Kai with a freakishly bloated jaw. Despite wearing braces for several years Kai's teeth still look like shit, most likely down to her being too lazy to wear her retainer after having the braces off. She has an excessive saliva build up in her mouth as well as a lisp, resulting in her being unable to pronounce majority of words. She has been known to choke on her saliva mid-sentence.


== Miscellaneous ==
== Miscellaneous==




Line 231: Line 237:
*[[Fat]]
*[[Fat]]
*[[Aspergers]]
*[[Aspergers]]
*[[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Attention Whore]]
*[[Attention Whore]]

Revision as of 12:22, 23 February 2014


Hello Every-juaaan!

"ForeverKailyn" aka Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is a fat, lazy, white trash 23-year-old self-proclaimed YouTube Beauty Guru, Socialite and Makeup Artist from Bowie, Maryland. To the rest of the world, she is a source of lulz, scandals, and retard drama.

The most notoriety linked to Kai was being featured on Vh1's Best Week Ever blog for her signature "Hey Everyjuan" video intro phrase, and her segment in Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9.


   
 
I have no disability ass
 

 
 

Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes

   
 
This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn trying to pronounce NARS Taj Mahal blush

   
 
Everyone gives up their diet on the weekend.
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn on BlogTV

   
 
I have peroid dummy
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn, on her period

   
 
I have so many stuff!
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn

   
 
It smells like... Paris amour.
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn describing the Paris Amour candle scent

   
 
This is pink slice
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn attempting to say Pinksickle

   
 
I don't have gentle herpes.
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn

   
 
This is rosebud slave
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn pronouncing "rosebud salve"

   
 
Sanba? Samba?
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn pronouncing "scuba"'

   
 
Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)
 

 
 

ForeverKailyn, before she spent $1000 over 3 months on useless make-up for herself

   
 
Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not
 

 
 

ForeverDelusional

   
 
I need to be respons...ibilities
 

 
 

ForeverResponsible




Sunflower Associations

Personal Life & Family

Disability ass demon Kailyn Marie Wilcher (aka Kai (kay), ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaka, Kaiveman, Gorilla, FAS rere, Potato-head Retarded thing, etc.) was birthed on May 18th 1990 to Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher (aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy) and dirty ape beaner Michael Wilcher (aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher). Kailyn was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome which has made her slow but has also given her a lulzy speech impediment. Kai's parents are separated, and Kai lives as a "stay-at-home daughter" with Lisa in a Bowie (aka Booie) mansion decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups. As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato head was retarded and deformed, Kai was doomed forever. Mama Wilsher tried Kai in various elementary schools before pulling her out of retard classes so she could do all of Kai's homework and let Kai rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her room (formally Pink Dungeon), which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a 2nd grade. Due to her moron of a mother, Kai has never been told she has any disabilities even though she has a hockey-stick palmar crease, a symptom belonging to only those with FAS, and was thoroughly retard-tested as a small demon.


Meet the Wilchers

Lisa works from an in-home salon Lisa's Hair Shanty twice a week doing old lady perms for the neighborhood hags while getting inebriated. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, enabling mother is her best friend, but in reality she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks. To support his pride and joy, Michael works at a courthouse cleaning air vents and is forced to live off microwave dinners in his shitty shack to ensure Lisa and Kai live a subsidized life. Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle Stephen E. Sokoloski (aka Uncle-Papa Stephen), his wife, and kai's archenemy, her 5 year old cousin, Eli who all live with granny, Dorothy Sokoloski. Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling.

The Kween blamed uncle Stephen for giving her pizza face genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being a walrus.

Diet & Hygiene

HAYYYY GUYTH!

Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and will only bathe in a bath and she does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Mama Alchy hoses Kai off in the driveway once a week washes her kair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl. To add to the smell, the Kween has been steadily been gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the trolls harp on the obese whale and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the trolls estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and are convinced she's well over 200lbs as she has moved into plus-sized clothing and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers. See Imgur album of the Kween's favorite foods.[1]

Bella

Lisa bought Kai her one and only friend, Bella, a derpy mutt sold to them for thousands of dollars under the guise of being a purebred Yorkie. When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion because she never gets to go outside, she is whimpering under the retard-strength of her owner. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her "act silly".


Animal Abuse

Friends

Besides superficial friendships with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend, who is no longer her friend because she's a darkie.


David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011)

Hungry Hippo

David (aka Davit) is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old retarded potato-head thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up being aborted at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including camming, shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a 3-some with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting craigslist for trannies and dykes to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011 Kai broke up with Davit on blog-tv to appease trolls telling her to do it for the lulz, and soon after ended the relationship for good.

Kissy kissy!


Kai's Big Party


After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video, owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.

Kailyn Spilling the Beans

David's Response


Matt (Husband, 2011-Current)

Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow (wife).

Matthew Todd Hughes (aka Matt Drost, Madd, Hubby) is a fat, dough-faced, retard fag-lover living in Maryland's "country" working as a cart-pusher at Wallyworld. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish, when he was still dating Maureen Lewis. Mama Wilcher drove Kai to meet Matt for a date at Starbucks while supervising them from the parking lot. 3 short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart. On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulz were had. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the elegant St. Mary's County courthouse. Kai wore a hideous ill-fitted $20 dress from Kohl's with with a dollar store tiara, while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dress in a Vintage McDonald's employee uniform. Matt has shown sexual interest in the gays by pseudo-hating them, and even making his potatohead wife go to church to cure her of bisexualism.


Mooren

Hi Maureen

Maureen Elizabeth Lewis (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, Nigger, Niggereen, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane welfare nigger with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech, and, like Kai, a lulzy speech impediment. Matt denied knowing the wild ape, but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [2][3]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy obsessed stalking ensured.

   
 
weally, madd? weally? ...weally?
 

 
 

—The ravishing phrase Mooren repeated while stalking Madd at his work

Mooren found forums and blogs online dedicated to trolling the FAS queen and started posting dirt on them herself. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally filmed her encounter with her ex, Matt. The crazy nignog has since slowed down, but is still stalking the couple. Trolls will only bait her for the lulz.


Married Life (2012-Current)

lookin' tho thtunnin on her weddin' day

As of 2014, Kai and Madd live separately with their parents. Kai continues to live with her caregiver in Bowie while Matt lives with his white trash parents, Mary C. Hughes and Todd D. Hughes, and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, Amber, in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has since realized his wife is a hideous whale and visits once a month at most to pump his whale full of sperm. When confronted by the trolls about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt lived with her in the glamorous Wilcher masion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after trolls found her uploading to instagram with geotags in Madd's location. In the beginning, Matt thought Kai was internet famous and thought he would get worshipped. Trolls have since drove him off the internet for good. Matt started to control Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.


Pregnancy (2013)

She's not showing yet, that's just her normal body. No, seriously.

The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having been a waste of space, she was desperate for a purpose. Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 aborted itself in March of 2013. Months later, our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 and is expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be government leech. Kai continues to purchase hundreds of dollars worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month despite the anticipation of her retarded potato spawn's arrival. Since Kai has no friends, Mama Alchy will be holding a baby shower involving their 5 family members and another was claimed to be hosted by the in-laws' church, Callaway Baptist Church. The church has since denied the claims and is disgusted that it has being associated with such a retarded potato-head thing.


The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations

KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled user name and the most lulzy wtfery to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being high as a motherfucking kite which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger,xSparkage, and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time. KaiKaod was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was again rage-deleted when new a scandal emerged.


Face Routine: Kai's First Video


The YouTube Sensation

ForeverKailyn (Currently Deleted)

Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter. Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and average views receiving 1,000-3,000 views, it has taken Kai several years to get to such shitty success. Kai had her Google ad revenue disabled almost as soon as it was granted due to the Kween clicking her own ads in hopes for bigger paychecks[4]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and, in the past, outfit of the day (OOTD) videos which have ceased due to her overexerting her fatass to show an outfit. Rating are always disabled on her channels because the rating bar is always red.

Tutorial: Red Vampy Makeup

ForeverKailyn OOTD

SincerelyKailyn (Currently Deleted)

Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly vlog-targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and recently - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her iphone 4 not 4s.


 
 
I'm just gonna try one...scoop...[of sugar]
 

 

ForeverKailyn, adding 1/4 cup of sugar


 
 
Our life is not that exciting!
 

 

Kailyn & Matt, like no shit



Infamous Scandals

Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.

Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big one a year. When the mean pretty lady trolls catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween rage-deletes her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.

N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating

In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the moron forgotten to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably seen by many but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured aspie vag photo. See the gallery below for nudes still online. Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her source of nickles until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny pedos to help her delete her account. In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and using Cragslist to look for random [[hooker|sexcapades] and announcing she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls in online ads. Some of the craigslist girls took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]




ForeverPoor

   
 
Making beauty videos is my career.
 

 
 

—ForeverKailyn, on why she doesn't have a job.

Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a Makeup Artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.

Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.

More recently, when asked about her income, Kai has said she sells Scentsy and Avon, although she admitted she never sold anything. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announce her interview to shut the trolls up but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now claims to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, holiday money, and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since she created her own internet-meets-reality demise. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work! Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".

The job that got away

Pink Wednesday

After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her free shit in return for a useless aspie review. An upcoming company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the movie Mean Girls), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of pseudoproducts produced by non-other than an internet troll. When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a video fishing for sympathy.

Pink Wednesday Fiasco

Rape

Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.

On October 2, 2013, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend A. In February, the scandal was announced to the trolls after a troll pretending to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and Hubby, Madd, were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a "misunderstanding". After realizing she had turned even the most politically correct, social justice communities against herself she deleted everything. On February 22, she reactivated her Facebook to post her email for anyone who wanted to continue buying her things off her baby registry.




Miscellaneous

Stunning Makeup Looks and More About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

Social Accounts


ForeverKailyn is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal

ForeverKailyn is part of a series on

Whores

Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.