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{{Chrischanbar}}
{{Chrischanbar}}
 
{{cleanup}}
Most if not all of [[Chris-chan]]'s videos have a yellow, piss-colored, grain filter on them.  While it's suspected that it's because of his webcam, it's more likely that a fog has risen in his room from all the dirty laundry, dust, and stains combined, and Chris is the only one immune to the toxic vapors.  
Most if not all of [[Chris-chan]]'s videos have a yellow, piss-colored, grain filter on them.  While it's suspected that it's because of his webcam, it's more likely that a fog has risen in his room from all the dirty laundry, dust, and stains combined, and Chris is the only one immune to the toxic vapors.  


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==Chris-Chan Appears on Old Media==
==Chris-Chan Appears on Old Media==
{{fv|CCV3|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
===Chris chan on The radio===
|'''Chris chan on The radio
 
<br>
[[Last Thursday]], Chris-chan recieved mainstream attention, check it out here.
[[Last Thursday]], Chris-chan recieved mainstream attention, check it out here.


http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145
<s>http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145</s> '''BALEETED'''.


[http://www.kevinandbeanarchive.com/audio.php?dir=audio/-------May%2012%20Tuesday-------&file=12%20Guy%20On%20The%20Internet%20Recycles%20His%20Own%20Excretions-2009-05-12.mp3 Chris-chan gets mentioned on Los Angeles's KROQ]
<s>[http://www.kevinandbeanarchive.com/audio.php?dir=audio/-------May%2012%20Tuesday-------&file=12%20Guy%20On%20The%20Internet%20Recycles%20His%20Own%20Excretions-2009-05-12.mp3 Chris-chan gets mentioned on Los Angeles's KROQ]</s> '''BALEETED'''.


|'''TV Return'''
===TV Return===
<br>
Recently our <s>virgin</s> friend has snagged a spot on G4's new Web soup show, thinking it will help get him laid. He says that he is honored to be on their show. What he does not know is that the show is based around clips of internet fail.
Recently our virgin friend has snagged a spot on G4's new Web soup show, thinking it will help get him laid. He says that he is honored to be on their show. What he does not know is that the show is based around clips of internet fail.


In the video (removed) he openly expresses that he's a virgin single and still looking and asking for a Boyfriend-free girl to give him a call on his cellphone or find him in his Ruckersville and ask him on a date. This video was removed from his account, after he realized that once again he became a subject of ridicule.
In the video (removed) he openly expresses that he's a virgin single and still looking and asking for a Boyfriend-free girl to give him a call on his cellphone or find him in his Ruckersville and ask him on a date. This video was removed from his account, after he realized that once again he became a subject of ridicule.


|'''Interview with Guru Larry'''
===Interview with Guru Larry===
<br>
<center>
<youtube>-wLuussu4iQ</youtube><br>
{{frame|
<youtube>ly4HcwZioJk</youtube><br>
{{fv|CCV3|background-color: black;color:white;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>8V4w-OSdslo</youtube><br>
<youtube>-wLuussu4iQ</youtube>|
<youtube>IxOI63oNDzM</youtube><br>
<youtube>ly4HcwZioJk</youtube>|
<youtube>_1v0aPxgh0Q</youtube>  
<youtube>8V4w-OSdslo</youtube>|
<youtube>IxOI63oNDzM</youtube>|
<youtube>_1v0aPxgh0Q</youtube>}}
|border=black|background=black}}
</center>  


{{quote|It was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not, because we couldn't see if you were holding Optimus Prime or so. If it was on video, we'd know right away that you was lying...|[[User:UncleBastard|Guru Larry]]}}
{{quote|It was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not, because we couldn't see if you were holding Optimus Prime or so. If it was on video, we'd know right away that you was lying...|[[User:UncleBastard|Guru Larry]]}}


{{quote|Yes, of course. You are indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.|[[User:UncleBastard|Guru Larry]], while trying to keep a straight face}}
{{quote|Yes, of course. You are indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.|[[User:UncleBastard|Guru Larry]]|while trying to keep a straight face}}


|'''Chris hits the town AKA Trollin' the Trolls'''
===Chris hits the town AKA Trollin' the Trolls===
<br>
<youtube>a4-LgbN-sHA</youtube><br>
<youtube>vyjU0DcvjZ8</youtube>
This video (which CWC removed) is noteworthy in that it features Chris looking ''slightly'' more human that usual. [[Internet Explorer|I.E.]], he wears normal clothes, loses his pedo glasses and medallion, and has a goatee. In short, he looks less like a [[retard|tard]] and more like a [[Internet tough guy|douchebag]] in this video, which is an improvement. However, he <del>may well still be as retarded</del> is most definitely as retarded as before.
This video (which CWC removed) is noteworthy in that it features Chris looking ''slightly'' more human that usual. [[Internet Explorer|I.E.]], he wears normal clothes, loses his pedo glasses and medallion, and has a goatee. In short, he looks less like a [[retard|tard]] and more like a [[Internet tough guy|douchebag]] in this video, which is an improvement. However, he <del>may well still be as retarded</del> is most definitely as retarded as before.


All of this effort to make himself look like a normal person was in vain for Chris, as his idea of normal is a strange cross between a [[guido|collar douchebag]], a faggot emo bitch, and, of course, an [[internet tough guy]]. The sole purpose of this video was for Chris to attempt to trick the numerous trolls who wasted years of their lives torturing Chris, by showing what a "normal" person he is and that, in fact, [[mindfuck|HE is the troll, trolling the trolls who trolled a troll]]. The only problem for Chris is that he is an absolute retard, and didn't realize that he is as transparent as fucking grease stained toilet paper.
All of this effort to make himself look like a normal person was in vain for Chris, as his idea of normal is a strange cross between a [[guido|collar douchebag]], a faggot emo bitch, and, of course, an [[internet tough guy]]. The sole purpose of this video was for Chris to attempt to trick the numerous trolls who wasted years of their lives torturing Chris, by showing what a "normal" person he is and that, in fact, [[mindfuck|HE is the troll, trolling the trolls who trolled a troll]]. The only problem for Chris is that he is an absolute retard, and didn't realize that he is as transparent as fucking grease stained toilet paper.


You tried hard, Chris, but how could we forget about your [http://www.slutload.com/watch/w40vYGuWP3X/Chris-Chan-Sextape.html sex tapes,] [[Trolling IRL|dating catastrophe]], [[Fleshlight|dad walking in on you masturbating]], [[Furry art|Sonichu comics]], [[Idiot|speech impediment]], [[Wapanese|anime figurine-filled room]], [[Retard|countless CAPTAIN'S LOGS and fan videos]], and that [[At least 100 years ago|old-ass]] news report outright revealing your being a [[Aspierations|high-functioning autistic]]?
You tried hard, Chris, but how could we forget about your [http://www.slutload.com/video/chrischans-sex-tape/XDjg4KnvdT9o/ sex tapes,] [[Trolling IRL|dating catastrophe]], [[Fleshlight|dad walking in on you masturbating]], [[Sonichu|Sonichu comics]], [[Idiot|speech impediment]], [[Wapanese|anime figurine-filled room]], [[Retard|countless CAPTAIN'S LOGS and fan videos]], and that [[At least 100 years ago|old-ass]] news report outright revealing your being a [[Aspierations|high-functioning autistic]]?


He then goes on to add a new video two days later, proclaiming his [[lies|'truths']] as [[Truth|Lies]] Thus restoring balance to the universe and all its living creatures, this moment is destroyed by his [[retard|Autistic]] hand moments later as he proclaims "Take that you trolls!"
He then goes on to add a new video two days later, proclaiming his [[lies|'truths']] as [[Truth|Lies]] Thus restoring balance to the universe and all its living creatures, this moment is destroyed by his [[retard|Autistic]] hand moments later as he proclaims "Take that you trolls!"
The echo of a thousand facepalms could be heard ever since.
The echo of a thousand facepalms could be heard ever since.


<youtube>a4-LgbN-sHA</youtube><br>
<youtube>vyjU0DcvjZ8</youtube>
}}


==Chris-Chan: Terrorist==
==Chris-Chan: Terrorist==
<center>{{fv|CCV5|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
<center>
|'''CWC DID 9/11'''
{{frame|
<br>
{{fv|CCV5|background-color: black;color:white;|font-weight: bold;|
You thought [[Jews did 9/11]]? Think again.
<center>'''CWC DID 9/11'''</center><br><youtube>JRvoNe8_584</youtube><br><center>You thought [[Jews did 9/11]]? Think again.</center>|
<center>'''CWC DID TITANIC'''</center><br><youtube>C3mv4UjTblU</youtube><br><center>[[Jessi Slaughter|You dun goofed, Chris.]]</center>}}
|border=#ABCDEF|background=#ABCDEF}}
</center>


<center><youtube>JRvoNe8_584</youtube></center>
|'''CWC DID TITANIC'''
<br>
[[Jessi Slaughter|You dun goofed, Chris.]]
<youtube>C3mv4UjTblU</youtube>
}}</center>


==Video Footage of Chris-chan's Sex Life==
==Video Footage of Chris-chan's Sex Life==

Revision as of 19:36, 10 July 2014



Chris-chan Subpage Navigation

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This article needs a serious clean up

Somebody should do something about it.

Most if not all of Chris-chan's videos have a yellow, piss-colored, grain filter on them. While it's suspected that it's because of his webcam, it's more likely that a fog has risen in his room from all the dirty laundry, dust, and stains combined, and Chris is the only one immune to the toxic vapors.


In the beginning, there was a contest


A true and honest confession

Previous Video | Next Video


Autistic Rage Unleashed

Previous Video | Next Video

   
“ 		 
BACK THE FUCK OFF!!!
  		„
  		 

—GANGSTA CHRIS MOTHAFUCKA

   
“ 		 
HHNNNNNNGGHHH! STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I WILL PONCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!
  		„
  		 

—Shit was SO CLYDE CASH!

   
“ 		 
Depressed, Depressed
  		„
  		 

—Chris-chan

   
“ 		 
The next time I see you, I'm going to wail on your ass and put you in the hospital. I am going to fuck you up so bad you won't have an iceball's chance in hell of getting a woman pregnant or getting anything "up" for that matter.

And while you bleed your ass-scented blood upon the ground I'm going to carve my initials onto your back and you'll remember. By God Almighty you will remember, you fucking degenerate.
 

„
  		 

—XoriasLord's comment to Chris about his faggotry.

   
“ 		 
1. Go on a date with Chris-chan

2. Slip a roofie into his Fanta to knock him out

3. When he wakes up, tell him we fucked for all of 3 seconds, and leave

4. Get knocked up by some other guy

5. Call Chris and tell him I'm carrying his daughter

6. Have an abortion

7. Mail the fetus in a pickle jar to Chris with a label that says "Crystal Weston Chandler"

8. ????

9. PROFIT!!!!!!
 

„
  		 

—Iyasaekki

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Chris-Chan Appears on Old Media

Chris chan on The radio

Last Thursday, Chris-chan recieved mainstream attention, check it out here.

http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 BALEETED.

Chris-chan gets mentioned on Los Angeles's KROQ BALEETED.

TV Return

Recently our virgin friend has snagged a spot on G4's new Web soup show, thinking it will help get him laid. He says that he is honored to be on their show. What he does not know is that the show is based around clips of internet fail.

In the video (removed) he openly expresses that he's a virgin single and still looking and asking for a Boyfriend-free girl to give him a call on his cellphone or find him in his Ruckersville and ask him on a date. This video was removed from his account, after he realized that once again he became a subject of ridicule.

Interview with Guru Larry

Previous Video | Next Video

   
“ 		 
It was quite hard to tell if you were lying or not, because we couldn't see if you were holding Optimus Prime or so. If it was on video, we'd know right away that you was lying...
  		„
  		 

—Guru Larry

   
“ 		 
Yes, of course. You are indeed a fine role model for us heterosexuals.
  		„
  		 

—Guru Larry, while trying to keep a straight face

Chris hits the town AKA Trollin' the Trolls


This video (which CWC removed) is noteworthy in that it features Chris looking slightly more human that usual. I.E., he wears normal clothes, loses his pedo glasses and medallion, and has a goatee. In short, he looks less like a tard and more like a douchebag in this video, which is an improvement. However, he may well still be as retarded is most definitely as retarded as before.

All of this effort to make himself look like a normal person was in vain for Chris, as his idea of normal is a strange cross between a collar douchebag, a faggot emo bitch, and, of course, an internet tough guy. The sole purpose of this video was for Chris to attempt to trick the numerous trolls who wasted years of their lives torturing Chris, by showing what a "normal" person he is and that, in fact, HE is the troll, trolling the trolls who trolled a troll. The only problem for Chris is that he is an absolute retard, and didn't realize that he is as transparent as fucking grease stained toilet paper.

You tried hard, Chris, but how could we forget about your sex tapes, dating catastrophe, dad walking in on you masturbating, Sonichu comics, speech impediment, anime figurine-filled room, countless CAPTAIN'S LOGS and fan videos, and that old-ass news report outright revealing your being a high-functioning autistic?

He then goes on to add a new video two days later, proclaiming his 'truths' as Lies Thus restoring balance to the universe and all its living creatures, this moment is destroyed by his Autistic hand moments later as he proclaims "Take that you trolls!" The echo of a thousand facepalms could be heard ever since.


Chris-Chan: Terrorist

CWC DID 9/11


You thought Jews did 9/11? Think again.
CWC DID TITANIC


You dun goofed, Chris.

Previous Video | Next Video


Video Footage of Chris-chan's Sex Life

Mount and do me


In this video, virtual pussy eating and manboobs.

Chris's love affair with his PS3


In the following masterpiece, you can see Christian raping his PS3, injecting semen in its every hole. It's good to finally see that fat fuck do some exercise.

Of course, remixes were inevitable- so take your pick. Portal, pr0n or Benny Hill.





Don't Trust Them Homos


Upon the reclaimation of his Jewtube account, he decided to show his nigger-loving ways and produce a new video, with audio only, proclaiming just how awesome that faggots are.


   
“ 		 
Thank God for mirrors
  		„
  		 

—The Internet - because who doesn't like a lulzcow singing beautifully

Of course it was only a matter of time till someone made the video more appropriate, so sometime Last thursday, A challenger appears and this is what came of it.

It's OK to be Gay


While drinking one of his special homemade Fanta cocktails, our favorite autistic Manchild decided it was finally time for him to come out of the closet. But remember kids, STAY STRAIGHT!

Previous Video | Next Video

Practice Wedding

Some time last Thursday Chris took a further leap into madness by uploading a new shitty video where he pops the question on his latest Sweetheart. Chris croons along with Celine Dion as he bombards your eyes with more of his shitty drawings. Apparently Chris believes IF YOU GET MARRIED IN THE COMIC, YOU GET MARRIED IN REAL LIFE. The mawkish first scene with Ivy's father feels like watching the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Note all the Glade Plugins. It's business time.

Except for perhaps a salt-dipped, electrified bear trap, Chris is probably the last thing any officer would want his daughter touching.

WHY SHOULD I CARE?

These sort of antics are exactly what we've come to expect of Chris and it would be wholly unremarkable if Chris hadn't drawn a super special "Honeymoon" Comic featuring his autistic dick. Chris really knows what girls want. What girl wouldn't ask for crude drawings of a broken, bent penis?

   
“ 		 
THANK YOU, GOD!
  		„
  		 

—what Chris cries out during simultaneous furry orgasm

Download it here

The Many-Coloured Faces of Chris-Chan

No, He's not wearing a Ski Mask


   
“ 		 
"Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!"
  		„
  		 

—Chris-Chan's Mistrel Show, with Chris as 'Little Blockhead Sambo'.

Oh god he's a juggalo now

Yep. Someone emerged with a lower IQ than Anabelle Lotus in the Juggalo fandom.

Niggers, jews... Bad news!


Chris, defending the glorious Aryan race in the best way possible.


Previous Video | Next Video

Chris Chan: Barfly

Sometime last thursday, Chris took a shower and went outside to partake in what is considered a normal activity for ronery losers his age: drinking.

Of course he got drunk and acted like a complete tit, showing off his well-honed singing voice and ability to identify instruments that are not guitars, but it's probably the closest to normal he's acted in the last 15 years.

Links

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