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Joe Blackburn: Difference between revisions

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{{spoiler|HE LOVES YER DEEP DOWN!!!!!1!1!!}}
[[File:Joe Blackburn.jpg|thumb|right|The handsome Mr. Blackburn.]]
[[File:Pies, You Say.gif|thumb|right|You gonna get eaten.]]


'''Joe Blackburn''' is a charming young lad from [[British Scum#Bradford|Bradford]] in the North of [[England]] who came to prominence after he made an appearance in a documentary entitled ''Can't Stop Eating'', all about the trials and tribulations of several [[retards|young people]] [[deal with it|living with]] a rare genetic disorder known as Prader-[[Penis|Willi]] Syndrome.
==But What Is Prader-[[Dong|Willi]] Syndrome?==
I'm very glad you asked. Allow me educate you.
Prader-[[dick|Willi]] Syndrome (also known as [[Fat#Fat Mentality|Fat-Fuckin'-Bastard Syndrome]]) is quite possibly one of the lulziest disorders this side of [[autism]] and not only because it has the word '[[cock|Willi]]' in its name. Because of a fuck up in their [[downs|chromosomes]], sufferers of Prader-[[:File:Gkwilly.gif|Willi]], called 'PWs' for short, suffer from a [[om nom nom|constant and ravenous feeling of unfulfilled hunger]] which can lead to excessive eating and, in some cases, [[lulzy|life-threatening]] [[obesity]]. In addition, PWs are also prone to [[manchild|juvenile and irrational behaviour]], '[[butthurt|rectal picking]]', and frequently throw temper tantrums when things do not go the way that they would like.
Combined with their lack of intelligence, these ranting, roly-poly [[retards]] make excellent [[lolcows]] and their antics are a source of great [[lulz]] to all those around them.
Which brings us back to young Joe, our Prader-[[Cawk|Willi]] poster boy.
==Can't Stop Eating==
[[File:Joe Blackburn N00ds.png|thumb|180px|OMG HAWT]]
[[File:Meet Joe Blackburn.png|thumb|right|Coming soon to a cinema near you...]]
The documentary, ''Can't Stop Eating'', which can be found in several parts on [[JewTube]], actually covered [[shit nobody cares about|a number of individuals]] suffering from Prader-[[Pingas|Willi]] syndrome, but by far the breakout character was young Mr. Blackburn who endeared himself to the viewing public with his comical levels of childishness and assholish self-absorption. His grotesque, red-faced appearance and hilarious, croaky accent only helped to cement his place into the [[Iraq|hearts and minds]] of those who point and laugh at retards everywhere.
Joe lives in a care home specializing in caring for PWs where he spends most of his days <strike>[[Bel Air|piggin' out, maxin', relaxin' like a slob and eatin' four yoghurts that he's nicked from the Co-Op]]</strike> stuffing his fat face with food and [[IRL trolling]] his carers.
{{fv|Can't Stop Eating|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;|<center><youtube>zdA7amVMrBc</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>5GwCoRAv3Bg</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>dH8dXzKxagI</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>lWD6nT12KGA</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>fFl0ZM43dnU</youtube></center>}}
[[File:Joe's Bird Sarah.jpg|thumb|180px|Joe's [[girlfriend|bird]], Sarah.]]
Over the course of the documentary, we see our apple-cheeked hero get into a shouting match with a [[nigra]] called [[Garfield]], brag about shoplifting food from his local supermarkets, laze around in bed, [[tard rage]], go down the pub with [[Son, I Am Disappoint|his dad]] (who he later bullies into buying him a 'chicken [[India|curreh]]'), feed some pigs, and eventually embark on his own [[Chris-chan]]-esque love quest as he tries to win the [[diabeetus|cholestorol-clogged heart]] of Sarah, a fellow [[fat|salad-dodging]] [[retard]] that he met over the Internet.
The unquestioned highlight of this documentary is when Joe recieves a call from Sarah, who has finally seen a picture of her would-be beau in a newsletter and [[DO NOT WANT|found him to fall somewhat short of her expectations]]...
<center><youtube>9n4ljW8fE7s</youtube></center>
Fortunately, however, after being rejected, Joe enlists the help of his goblin-like wingman, Clint, who manages to win the fair maiden's hand for Joe, by using the time honored romantic gesture of squatting outside her bedroom door and whimpering, "[[begging|Go on, Sarah. Joe loves you. Joe loves you. Go out with him.]]"
The two eventually get [[marriage|engaged]] with a ring that Joe [[lie|claims he bought]], but then later accidentally lets slip that his grandmother gave to him. Within days of having the ring jammed on her chubby sausage finger, however, Sarah breaks off the engagement but keeps the ring (presumably to pawn it and use the money to buy more junk food), thus proving that all women, even fat, retarded ones are, ultimately, [[bitches and whores|gold-digging whores]]. For his part, however, Joe seem doesn't mind, and immediately starts perving over other girls.
To this day, young Mr. Blackburn is assumed to be an [[virgin with rage|unattached, eligible bachelor]].
==Remixes and Poops==
Because fat people are hilarious and fit only for mockery, Joe Blackburn and his PW pals have become very popular among the remix-making fraternity of YouTube, who have spliced various clips from the documentary together to make all manner of pumping choons. Indeed, to this day, Joe's chubby, toad-like mug still pops up in various [[Youtube poop|YouTube Poops]].
{{fv|JOEBLACKBURNS|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;|<center><youtube>7ulvdG7xyA4</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>gRI2XdLx9ec</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>xlc6wqu8Lv8</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>bA_mzJOuLGA</youtube></center>|<center><youtube>xfce0_hQahs</youtube></center>}}
==Quotes From The Big Man Himself==
[[File:Advice Joe.png|thumb|right|Advice Joe.]]
{{center|{{frame|{{morphquote|Joequotes|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold;
|Loadsa biscuits an' stuff. And ''[[pie|pork piiiiiies]]''...|Describing sort of things he eats, Joe gets [[I came|slightly carried away]] with the thought of delicious pie.|Ter [[fuck]], I'm doin' it tonight.|Joe Blackburn on [[rape|his intentions with Sarah]].|I love yer [[goatse|deep down]]... [[BAWWW|Whaa-aaah]]...|Joe Blackburn, body of a whale, soul of a poet.|I'm off meh diet, yer know I'm off meh diet. Get me a beer! I durn't drink juice... Change it!|Joe Blackburn, a man of refined tastes.|[[Pimp|I durn't mess about wi' my girls]].|Joe Blackburn would cut a bitch dead if she ever answered him back.|[[Irony|Shut yer big fat gob]].|Joe, [[trolling]] Garfield.|IT'S ON THE SHEET! IT'S ON THE SHEET!! IT'S ON THE SHEET, YOU CAN ASK SHARON!!|Joe Blackburn, [[tard rage|tard raging]]|I'm not big, Sarah. I'm tellin' the truth 'ere.|Joe Blackburn, [[lying|being slightly economical with the truth]].|Go shopliftin'... What I do. Get caught, go to pris'n, I durn't give a damn.|Fuck the police.|I want 'ave a [[baby|bearbeh]].|Joe Blackburn on the other ''other'' white meat.|Four yoghurts.|He likes his yoghurt, does Joe.|And 'ave got 'n' 'ouse when meh mam 'n' dad die.|Joe Blackburn on his property portfolio.|[[GTFO|Get stuffed]].|Joe Blackburn is unamused by your faggotry.|[[BAWWW|Ee-hee]]...|Joe, crying.}}|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}}
==External Links==
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/548746 Joe Blackburn soundboard]
*[http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=9676893656 The Joe Blackburn Appreciation Club]
*[http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Joe-Blackburn/30553702452 Facebook fanpage]
==See Also==
*[[Fat]]
*[[Retard]]
*[[Diabeetus]]
*[[Autism]]
*[[Asperger's Syndrome]]
*[[Nuttymadam]] - Another notable PW.
*[[Pro-Ana]] - The complete opposite of these fat fucks, these cunts just won't fucking ''start'' eating.
{{aspies}}
{{Britfags}}
{{Television}}
{{disorders}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Abnormal Psych]]

Revision as of 14:53, 2 December 2014