Rider Kick

The Rider Kick is a special move of comparable power to ZA WARUDO, Dynamic Entry and the Epic Red Ranger Maneuver.

Its origins lie in a TV show called Kamen Rider, which is sort of like Power Rangers only it's insanely bleak and people are allowed to die all the time. For this reason it is lauded by fans as an adult show, which is sort of true, but only in the sense that Tom Clancy writes serious espionage novels.

How Do I Rider Kicked?

The Rider Kick is not just for battling evil - why not try it at home, in the office or at your place of worship?

The classic rider kick consists of simply jumping into the air and heading straight for the opponent with your foot out. Boring, but very easy to A) film on a shoestring budget and B) Make it look cool by bellowing "Rideeeeeeeer... KICK!"

More recent riders have added new and interesting twists. Rider 555 had a kick that literally went straight through people's bodies, a scientific matter displacement method described by scientists as "Pretty pimp."

Rider Kabuto once had a car thrown at him on top of a skyscraper, sliced the car in two with the butt of his pistol, slowed time down to Matrix-style bullet-time, ran down the side of the building, ninja-triangle jumped off the two halves of the vehicle, landed and rider kicked the bad guy in the back of the head before they hit the ground. When asked to analyse whether this would be physically possible, a team of engineers concluded "This, too, is pretty pimp."

When Rider Ryuuki got a rider kick that was able to level whole city blocks, the studio decided that enough was enough and that they should probably reign in the power level a bit. However, this didn't stop Rider Kiva (who was half-vampire) from having a rider kick that made a crater in the ground the shape of the Bat-Symbol, which served no actual purpose to the technique itself other than to render it rather pimp.

Not to be confused with...

Kekko Kamen, wherein a naked azn girl kills pederasts by violently smashing their face in with her gooch.

What. You thought I was kidding?

Show that program to all Power Ranger fans. It will put hair on their chicken chests. Do it now.

The Plot

Good advice is good.

If a Japanese guy in a rubber bug suit ever says this to you, RUN.

This image sums up all Japanese religious beliefs.

Bug guys on bikes kick stuff.

How To Troll Kamen Rider Fans

All-Purpose Trolling

• Point out that the show has been canceled for 20 years
• Compare it to Power Rangers in any way
• Point out that the same guy plays all the Kamen Riders as played the Green Ranger
• Say you watched some on Youtube and didn't like it. Given that all Rider shows are at least 50 episodes long, this is sure to cause rage.

Old-School Rider Fans

Mention anything about the second run of seasons which began in 2000. They particularly hate it if you prefer these.

Kamen Rider 555 / Faiz / Phi's

KR555 is considered by many to be the best show in the whole franchise, and any rational criticism is therefore untenable. For this reason pretty much anything will do, the more sketchy and made-up the better. However, the monsters in the show are all animal-themed, so if you can't be bothered or aren't feeling creative just call them furries.

Drama Rider Hibiki

Generally agreed on by the kind of people who take this sort of thing WAAAAAY too seriously to be the beginning of the end. The riders were all based on animu demons instead of bugs, drove an SUV instead of bikes and didn't kick anything. The special moves were all music-based, and ranged from a trumpet that shot bullets to a giant triangle (yes, the percussion instrument).

At the end of the season the show's team got Zerg rushed by a two pronged attack of the PTA on one side, who thought that the show was too violent for their kids, and the studio on the other who wanted to know why the hottest property on their books had ceased to sell toys. A creative coup d'etat took place (with the new script being delivered literally as the old one was being shot) and a new ending was filmed in which the youthful apprentice main character quit wanting to be a Rider, finished his exams, put on a puppet show for the sick children (we shit you not) and became a doctor instead.

Telling KR fans you like Hibiki will make them rage. Pointing out any of the above will make them rage, cry and cut because they'll agree with you. It's up to the individual troll to decide in the field which will deliver the more lulz.

Ramen Rider Den-O

The motherlode of KR trolling. Facing a complete crash in toy sales, the studio sent in the guy who was writing Boukenger (Power Rangers: Operation Overdrive) at the time to take over the script. The result will actually make long-time fans of the show collapse to the ground, cracks and pops resounding as their spine and ribs shatter, because the Matrix is making it real for them.

Featured a lisping klutzy pussy as the main rider, backed up by a series of henshins based on Japanese children's fairy stories (Momotaro, Kintaro and Urashima Taro), every single occurrence, pratfall and zoom-in in Den-O is accompanied by a soundtrack reel of cymbals, slide whistles and BOI-YOI-YOI-YOINGGGGGGGG! effects.

If you point out that the show was so popular that it spawned three five seven theatrical movies, most KR fans will actually burst into flames.

Kamen Rider Super Climax Heroes

Contrary to the name, this game is neither super, orgasmic, nor heroic. It is, in fact, quite possibly the worst game to have ever been published by the likes of Sony and Nintendo. It's only real value is the relief gained from throwing it out of your peasantstation and discovering if it will blend, knowing that there is one less abomination walking the face of the Earth.

See Also

• Falcon Punch
• Power Rangers
• Epic Red Ranger Maneuver
• Anime
• Japan
• JewWario - A finished Kamen rider fan.
• Ryulong - What a living Kamen Rider fan looks like
• Ultraman
• Godzilla
• Super Sentai
• Antman

Rider Kick is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

Rider Kick is part of a series on Anime Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.