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| {{an hero}}
| | '''<span style="font-size:larger;">'''<span style="font-size:larger;">'''BALEET THE [[Icewillow9|ICEWILLOW9]] ARTICLE RIGHT NOW'''</span>'''</span>''' |
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| <center>[[Image:Niu4chan.jpg]]</center>
| | FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICK COCK BOLLOCKS DOUCHEBAG NIGGER PRICK ARSE ARSEHOLE ASSHOLE HORSESHIT BULLSHIT ARSEHEAD CUNT BITCH BASTARD NIGGA SHITE TWAT WANKER MOTHERFUCKER SLUT WANK WANKING FATHERFUCKER SISTERFUCKER BROTHERFUCKER DICKHEAD NIGRA FAGGOT |
| {{TOCright}}
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| [[Image:Stevek.jpg|right|thumb|He did it for the <strike>[[lulz]]</strike> luvz.]]
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| [[Image:Screenshot.JPG|thumb|right|SCREENSHOT OR IT DIDN'T EXIST]]
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| The '''Northern Illinois University Valentine's Day Massacre''' seemed to come from a parallel universe. '''[[Stephen Kazmierczak|Steven Phillip Kazmierczak]]''' entered a side door at approximately 3:00 pm CST near the front of an introductory oceanography class in a large lecture hall with 150 to 200 students and began to fire gunshots. The gunman was reported to be a thin, white male wearing a long, black '''trench coat''' and a black [[fag|beanie]]. Word on the street is he was a sociology major, that had something against the ocean. The gunman walked onto stage and opened fire. 18 people were shot before the gunman shot himself. Many victims were [[Headshot|shot in the head]], with at least three of the victims in critical condition, eight in stable condition and five in <s>good</s> [[dead]] condition.
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| [[Image:InsideColeHall_NIU_2008.jpg|right|thumb|Where Steve spent the last few moments of his an heroic life.]]
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| The guy might have been [[butthurt]] over the fact that it's V-Day and instead of [[fap|masturbating]] using his [[emo|tears]] as lube he decided to [[pwn]] some students instead. [[Some argue|This was argued by some]] at [[2008|the time]] to be another attempt to break Cho's score at [[V-Tech]]. But, he failed miserably!
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| It must be noted that he didn't quite do it for the [[lulz]]. He did it for the luvz <3.
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| By the way, VDAY JUST KICKED IN YO!
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| ==The perpetrator==
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| [[Image:Midori lul.jpg|thumb|right|found on his LJ; obviously he was disturbed]]
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| [[Image:StevieK.jpg|thumb|right|Stevie's taste in women was <s>terrible</s> impeccable]]
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| It's reported that the gunman was a current student of sociology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. He had received the Dean's award from NIU in 2006. According to the NIU sociology website, coupled with the information provided in the Chicago Tribune article, the shooter can be identified as '''Steven Kazmierczak''', which is also confirmed by the academic paper referenced , "Self-Injury In Correctional Settings: "Pathology" of Prisons or of Prisoners?", co-authored by '''Jim Thomas'''. Kazmierczak was a graduate student at the School of Social Work, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, who had received the NIU Dean's Award in 2006; he was Vice-President of the NIU Academic Criminal Justice Association in 2005 and had written on prison conditions and the U.S. correctional system. Local police and students who called local radio stations reported that the gunman was carrying two handguns and a shotgun. One of the handguns was believed to be a Glock, the other a small caliber handgun. The small-caliber handgun has not yet been recovered. [[Some argue]] Kazmierczak was a [[pussy|passive-aggresive]] [[faggot|closet case]].
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| '''Some information that leaked on U of I's online [http://webtools.uiuc.edu/ows/PH directory], which quickly got deleted.
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| *alias: skazmie2
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| *name: Kazmierczak Steven Phillip
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| *pretty_name: Steven Phillip Kazmierczak
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| *first_name: Steven
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| *middle_name: Phillip
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| *last_name: Kazmierczak
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| *student_department_name: School of Social Work
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| *student_program_name: MSW:Social Work -UIUC
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| *student_level_description: Graduate - Urbana-Champaign
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| *student_major_name: Social Work
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| *phone: '''(815) 508-2416''' '''[[300|DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR HIM IN HELL]]'''
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| address: 1207 W. Oregon
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| : M/C 140
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| : Urbana, IL 61801
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| office_address: 1207 W. Oregon
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| : M/C 140
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| : Urbana, IL 61801
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| *title: ACADEMIC HOURLY
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| *department: School of Social Work
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| *type: person phone student staff'''
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| Steve had an odd habit of collecting jobs with a high probability of [[rape|rectal trauma]] and proceeding to fuck up at them. Some examples of these jobs are [[Juba the Baghdad Sniper|being in the military]] but [[fail|getting kicked out before completing basic training]], and working at a women's [[lesbian|correctional facility]] where he managed to endure about three weeks of [[pegging]] before deciding to [[Quitting IRC forever|never come back]].
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| ==A message from you, Steveo?==
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| <pre>
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| I Hope You Read This, Melissa
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| 1st of all, what have i EVER done to you?
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| its obvious you have issues. anyone who knows
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| you knows at least that. but more importantly, what have i ever done?
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| the last time we hung out was great. i dont get it.
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| unfortunately i didnt see your goodbye entry to me
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| before you deleted it or something. by the way, why IS it gone?
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| it couldn't be because your argument was completely idiotic,
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| and later when you tell others about this make sure u dont tell
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| them i said you were idiotic; just your argument was. you are
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| angry with me because i didn't tell you about christine, am i right?
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| well here is my rebuttal (forgive me for the spelling):
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| i dont need permission from you to date people.
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| i dont ever remember promising to tell you when i liked someone,
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| but that should be no surprise to you because if you ever knew
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| me you know i have a terrible memory.
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| even if i did promise that, it shouldnt matter.
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| you found out about us going out BEFORE I TOLD ANYONE! BEFORE I
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| EVEN GOT BACK FROM THE BAND TRIP!!!!
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| besides we have been broken up for many months now.
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| i know you have problems with ex-bfs but its not like i left you
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| to go out with her like someone else i know.
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| and its not like i've fucked a bunch of people since weve broken
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| up like another person i know.
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| heres the bottom line:
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| i think your argument is absolutely absurd.
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| but i am not willing to give up on our friendship for something as
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| silly as this.
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| please respond to this and remember that this is about your argument
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| , not you, so dont take offense.
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| </pre>
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| assumed to be posted over 2 years ago
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| *[http://skazmie.livejournal.com/ http://skazmie.livejournal.com/] Be careful; this Livejournal is super buggy and might have something on it - but it's most likely Steve's.
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| <!-- == Stephen's Uploaded Videos on Youtube ==
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| [[Pekka-Eric Auvinen|Hmmm, Where have I seen this before?]]
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| <youtube>1DfM9wQxTSY</youtube>
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| '''<youtube>N8bYmr4c4jw</youtube>'''
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| Commented out videos as I could not find a mirror -Vonranke -->
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| ==The Polack's Father Speaks!==
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| [[Image:Stevebear.jpg|right|thumb|He's spreading the luvz up in heaven now. Live the dream, Steve; you huge piece of shit]]
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| When reporters descended upon the single-story house of Steve's father, Robert Kazmierczak, the butthurt and sobbing Lakeland, Florida bitch only had one comment to make:
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| {{quote|All I can say is that he did it for the [[lulz|luvz]]. This is a very [[cock|hard]] time. I'm a [[diabeetus|diabetic]] and I don't want to go into a relapse.|Robert Kazmierczak, [[fat]] piece of shit that obviously doesn't understand how [[AIDS|diabetes]] works. Having a [[b|psychopathic scumbag]] of a son doesn't make your [[cancer|diabetes]] go apeshit.}}
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| ==Trivia==
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| [[Image:Steve niu.jpg|right|thumb|Steveo; [[emo]]]]
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| *The shooter is [[an Hero]] and there is <strike>18</strike> <strike>7</strike> 5 (<s>6 including himself</s> 4 after suicide penalty) confirmed kills.
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| *Only 28 [[moar]] to top Cho on the [[school shooting#Leader_Board|leader-board]]!
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| **Current place, 8th, after [[Jokela High School]]. [[LURK MOAR]] at the firing range, [[fgt]].
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| *Upheld Illinois' fine tradition in failing to come in first in anything.
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| *Fun [[fact]]: This is the FOURTH school shooting THIS WEEK ALONE! Included, a [[Chris Benoit|double murder/suicide]] at Louisiana Technical College in Baton Rouge, a shooting in Memphis that left one phys-ed student dead, and a shooting in Oxnard, CA that left one student <strike>in an unenviable, [[Terri Schiavo]] situation</strike> dead and has been called a [[epic lulz|haet crime]]. Not a single one of the shootings has hit [[DOUBLE NIGGER|double-digit]] fatalities yet. [[Newfags]].
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| *According to his [[LJ]] account his interests include ☠, 1337 and h4xxx0r5.
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| *The [[Trolls|friendly folks]] over at [[God Hates Fags]] have already planned to picket the various [[BAWWWWW|funerals, memorials and vigils]]. You got to respect them for one thing, they do work pretty fast for a bunch of [[inbred]] [[rednecks]].
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| *[[OMG|HOLY FUCK]] ALERT!!! [[Cho Seung-Hui]] and [[Stephen Kazmierczak]] bought guns/accessories from the same [[fucktard]], Eric Thompson. [[Polish|Steveo]] bought 2 mags and a Glock holster from [http://www.topglock.com Top Glocks] and the [[Kill it with fire|Blazn]] [[Azn]] bought a Walther 22 from him. Eric Thompson is [[ROFL|shocked]], but that won't stop him from using the hundred or so bucks Steveo gave him to buy delicious [[CP]].
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| **Let's hope the next shooter doesn't figure out that Eric also owns [http://www.ar15pro.com/ AR15Pro.com] a website that sells the [[Counter-Strike]] worthy AR15. Oh, Eric also sells "chocolate ammo", for when [[Andrew Allred|shooting your ex-girlfriend seven times in the face]] doesn't say "I love you" quite right.
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| ==Quotes==
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| [[Image:Steve-kazmierczak.jpg|right|thumb|We're no strangers to love, You know the rules and so do I, I, I.]]
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| {{quote|Emo-Sexual...[[Heath_Ledger|and trying to quit]]|Steve; found on this [[LJ]]}}
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| {{quote|he he he... internet etiquette? no caps? angry mobs? riots? speaking of swhitchery that reminds me of the race riots in plainfield my mom told me about when MLK Jr. was assassinated. my eyes sag like the corners of my soul. emo emo emo. ACK!| Steveo}}
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| {{quote|I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND!!!!!! i just got a paid account and im trying to customize it but I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THIS S2 SHIT! why cant a just write it in java or html? i dont understand this at all. how do i even design it? how do i set any properties that i create? can i create properties? im completely lost..... :( by.|Steveo on the extremely difficulties of [[LJ]]}}
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| ==[[PoeticIrony|Dog Mongler]] and Child Abuser?!==
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| [[Image:Vaelentine.PNG|thumb]]
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| {{quote|steve motherucking kazmierczak. yes thats exactly the problem here.
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| i was working at pirates cove in late 1995 and i was you know $4.50/hr child labor laws be damned and like i remember steve kazmierczak, the kind of kid who engaged in odd acts of fellatio with his dog, the kind of kid who'd go and masturbate in the bathroom while you were over at his house, the kind of person who injured kids on the train ride cuz he was mental and he shouldn't be given domain over kids on little faux-traincars with an aluminum baseball bat... when steve fucking kazmierczak ran up to me in late 95 early 96 proudly boasting his brand new copy of "i care because you do" like he was finally in with the cool kids.
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| both me and my friend joe died a little bit that day.|http://forum.watmm.com/lofiversion/index.php/t6876.html The OP's name is supposedly [[Powerword|Jim Schaefer]]. And he is a total [[cock]].}}
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| Feel free to read the rest of the forum post this asshat made. It actually has [[nothing]] to do with the actual crime itself, but is rather an analysis of [[shit bands]].
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| This hasn't stopped ABC news from using this poster's opinion like the blessed word of [[Raptor Jesus]] in an article that [[Anthony Merino|fucks the corpse]] of all the rest of the news coverage out there. ABC also seems to use the exact same sources as we have at ED, just at a later time than us - this is just proof that ED [[Lies|makes the best primary source material for all your research needs]].
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| Further gayness has erupted from this situation as the writer of this steaming pile of crap is now suffering from an eruption of [[unwarranted self-importance]]. He can now be seen screaming "Look at me! I'm Important!" in his [http://forum.watmm.com/index.php?showuser=287 forum profile, which also contains most of his contact information]. Also proof this news story is asshole [[bait]].
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| {{quote|i am strill trying to figure out wtf posessed me to start off this thread with his name... must've been the story. [[attention whore|how random]], [[amirite|right?]]|OP dickwitch chimes}}
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| {{quote|I remember a worker whom I managed at Pirate's Cove in Elk Grove Village named Jim Schaefer , who had to be removed from his position because he never showed up on time, and because of the serious allegations of sexually inappropriate conduct with minors at our park. I mean, we knew that Jim had some serious psychological issues, but when we found out about these claims of touching, we had to let this guy go. This was quite disturbing to all of the managers at Pirate's Cove, and a police report had to be filed, (yeah, a lot of drama at our quaint little park). Although the claims of abuse were never proven, the allegations alone caused my sister Joy and I to terminate him.| OP's boss gives a response in the original thread. Uh oh, seems like someone's got a thing for the [[pedobear|jaibait]]!}}
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| Oh, but it doesn't end here. Thanks to the majick of modern communications, people have come out of the woodwork to let the entire world know how much of a dumbfuck the OP is. This might be a rare pot of [[jew gold]] at the end of the [[Alyssa|rainbow]].
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| {{quote|The last time I saw Jim and Joe was at a mall over four years ago; Jim tried to explain that he was trying to get a deal as a rapper and asked for my email address so he could interview me for a zine. I was spinning records for a few months and we talked at a party a few weeks before that. He also told me he bought a car from Bob and was living in it. Joe was incoherent.| Comment on [http://dclies.blogspot.com/2008/02/steve-kazmierczak.html a blog recording the drama for posterity] by one of the OP's friends.}}
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| *[http://forum.watmm.com/index.php?showtopic=31008&st=0&p=659804&#entry659804 Forum commentary started by the OP looking to get his e-peen stroked to completion. Look for <strike>epic win and</strike> epic fail in large amounts.]
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| *[http://dclies.blogspot.com/2008/02/steve-kazmierczak.html Apparently everyone in his hometown of Elk Grove Village thinks the OP and his faggot friends are a pack of douches. And they ain't afraid to say it.]
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| *[http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=4300903&page=2 ABC - Proudly enabling retards since 1943.]
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| *[http://www.elkgroveparks.org/piratesCove.asp?id=256 Pirates Cove - Innocent Children's Theme Park or Breeding Ground for Psychopathic Murderers and Faggotry?]
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| *[http://dreamsendweb.com/2008/02/15/northern-illinois-shooting-hold-off-on-rumors-please/ Truth? On My Internets? It's moar likely than you think]
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| **[[OMGWTFBBQ]] - Jim Schaeffer is a Scientologist!
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| *[http://www.myspace.com/sinicalypse What the myspace of a famous rapper looks like.]
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| ** "even if he's a spectacular failure, it's going to be one hell of a ride"
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| ** "it's been approximately 9-10+ years, and he's still not written a cohesive track or attempted any sort of serious stepping out into the spotlight."
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| ==The [[pwnt]]; the victims==
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| [[File:UIUC drama.jpg|thumb]]
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| For your viewing/[[MySpace Adventure|Myspace trolling]] pleasure...
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| *Ryanne Mace - 19 yo psych major with a terminal case of both [[internet disease]] and [[shotgun mouthwash|lead poisoning]]. [http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/796552,021508mace.article Sun Times with fat girl angle shot]
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| **Said to have returned to her high school to watch school events. Sort of like that [[You|crazy drunk homeless guy who touches himself behind the bleachers]]. Also a good indication that she was so scorned at her college that she had to come home to her podunk shitrag high school just to feel accepted.
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| ***That high school also experienced some major [[lulz]] this year in the forms of two fatal car crashes, and the [[Ripper|overdose deaths]] of two of their graduates. Be glad you didn't go to school here, odds are you're a [[zombie|walking corpse]] already.
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| *Daniel Parmenter, 20 - [[Packer|Phi Kappa Alpha fratboy]]
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| **Called his mom only a few hours before he got fucking annihilated to wish his mom a happy [[incest|Valentine's Day]].
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| **Played [[fag|rugby]] just to grab on some man-ass.
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| **"We have all the confidence that he is with God now," says the father. Perhaps someone will inform the cumdumpsters over at GodHatesFags that they are mistaken?
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| *Gayle Dubowski, 20
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| **<strike>Apparently not [[important]] enough to merit any news coverage at this time.</strike> Just an enormous [[Mary Sue]].
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| **TRIVIA: Most attractive victim (not saying much).
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| *Mexican, 20
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| **Daughter of wetback, immigrant parents. Thankfully, she won't be taking up a job that a more qualified [[white]] [[man]] would have been passed over for thanks to [[affirmative action]]. Fucking [[win]].
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| **[http://www.lb86.com/ Website put together by said wetback's gangbanger brother (or at least his frat). I mean, fuck me, you really can't make this shit up]
| |
| ***It's also interesting to note that this website has links to her [[facebook]] memorial page, as well as some other related materials. Someone's really [[Asking for it]].
| |
| **TRIVIA: Second most attractive victim (saying even less).
| |
| *Juliana Gehant, 32 - [[Pedo|Elementary Education major]]
| |
| **Was in the Army, but was pressured to leave by her family because of the escalating war in the Middle East. [[College]] was obviously a lot safer. [[Facepalm]].
| |
| **Fiance was [[pwnt]] by a car and she was just "overcoming her [[depression]]." Something tells me that won't be much of a problem anymore...
| |
| **TRIVIA: Probably not only the ugliest dead woman of the lot, but the ugliest woman at the entire college (and that says an awful lot).
| |
| | |
| ==Possible motive?==
| |
| [[Image:KazmierczakDisney.png|right|thumb|You want motive? This is what psychologists call a [[trigger]]]]
| |
| [[Last Thursday]] some guy, possibly the shooter wrote racist shit on a wall.
| |
| | |
| Possible preview?
| |
| {{quote|“Tell those [[niggers]] to go home, ME / OUT ...Die Sem Burr 10th . . . Hmz Sdn Cr|some guy}}
| |
| Of course the [[faggot]] used txt speak and no one took him seriously...until now.
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| | |
| {{quote|..if you have pictures of this strategy (cough) i mean tragedy send them to fox news !|Shepard Smith [[Fox News]]}}
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| | |
| Translated it said: "Tell thosse niggers to go home, i'm going to [[pwn]] them on December 10th at a place on campus. [[brb]], gun."
| |
| | |
| Like most [[negros]] he was late....two months late.
| |
| | |
| According to CNN, [[nigras]] were fleeing the campus like looters in New Orleans.
| |
| | |
| 90% chance this was carried out by enraged [[Wikipedo]] hitmen in response to the butthurt caused by the [[Zoe]] / [[Professor Tim Pierce]] vandalism war. I mean, how many fucking professors could there be at a shitty, black person infested school like NIU?
| |
| | |
| ==UIUC Drama!==
| |
| <pre>
| |
| FROM : Chancellor Richard Herman
| |
| SENT : 15 February 2008 07:47
| |
| TO : [FUCKING EVERYONE (literally)]
| |
| SUBJECT : MASSMAIL - Shooting at NIU
| |
| | |
| | |
| The University has learned that U of I student has been identified as the
| |
| gunman in a fatal shooting at Northern Illinois University that left seven
| |
| people dead and more than a dozen more injured.
| |
| | |
| The entire University of Illinois family extends its deepest condolences to
| |
| the friends and family of the victims, and to everyone on the Northern
| |
| Illinois University campus affected by today's tragedy. Counselors from the
| |
| U of I are enroute to DeKalb to assist NIU's staff. And we will continue to
| |
| offer whatever assistance we can.
| |
| | |
| In the days to come it is important for all of us in the Illinois community
| |
| to come together to express our feelings concerning this horrible tragedy
| |
| and to share the grief that follows. We can expect to feel a wide range of
| |
| emotions.
| |
| | |
| That is why I strongly encourage any U of I faculty, staff or student who
| |
| feels the need to seek counseling as a result of this tragic incident to
| |
| contact the Counseling Center.
| |
| | |
| Please remember that we are a community and, as such, we must continue to
| |
| care for each other. And, in dark moments such as these, we must turn
| |
| toward each other, not away.
| |
| | |
| Richard Herman
| |
| | |
| Chancellor
| |
| | |
| This mailing approved by:
| |
| The Office of the Chancellor
| |
| | |
| --
| |
| | |
| </pre>
| |
| | |
| Translation: We fucked up. Sorry NIU. :'(
| |
| | |
| ==More UIUC Drama==
| |
| <pre>FROM : Chancellor Richard Herman
| |
| DATE : 15 février 2008 16:38
| |
| TO : [FUCKING EVERYONE (again)]
| |
| SUBJECT : MASSMAIL - Memorial Vigil/Northern Illinois Tragedy
| |
| | |
| TO: Members of the Campus Community
| |
| FROM: Richard Herman, Chancellor
| |
| Justin Randall, President, Illinois Student Senate
| |
| | |
| On Monday, February 18, the University of Illinois is hosting a
| |
| campus/community vigil that will begin at 9:00 p.m. on the north end of
| |
| the Quad in the wake of the February 14 shootings at Northern Illinois
| |
| University.
| |
| | |
| The memorial vigil will enable the campus community to express solidarity
| |
| for our colleagues at Northern Illinois University. A threat to any
| |
| campus community undermines the educational environment which we strive to
| |
| protect.
| |
| | |
| Our deepest condolences go out to the families of the victims of the
| |
| tragedy at Northern Illinois University. We are especially saddened that
| |
| a member of our campus community would commit such a violent and horrific
| |
| act. We will come together not only to lament the losses that were
| |
| suffered at Northern, but also to renew our commitment to ensuring an
| |
| environment where students, faculty and staff can live, learn and work
| |
| without being threatened by the rage and hostility of others.</pre>
| |
| | |
| Translation: No, seriously, we really fucked up. :','(
| |
| | |
| ==Possible warning signs==
| |
| [[Image:Vdayshoot.jpg|left|thumb|This card should have tipped off the authorities]]
| |
| The campus was shut down for a day in December 2007, during exam week, after graffiti was found on a restroom wall warning of a possible shooting. A spokesman said that the warning, which was discovered December 10, made reference to the [[Virginia Tech massacre]], which killed 32 people at Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007. At that time that an unknown person posted the graffiti in the Grant Towers D residence hall, and that the graffiti included a racial slur and the notation, '''“What time? The VA tech shooters messed up w/ having only one shooter.”'''
| |
| | |
| ==Possible warning signs II: The Quickening==
| |
| [[Image:Niu_shooting.jpg|right|thumb|[[b|/b/]] did it]]
| |
| [[Last Thursday]], [[Anonymous]] posted about his school getting shot up tomorrow.
| |
| | |
| ==Video games being blamed?==
| |
| [[Jack Thompson]], the Daily Show's Senior School Shooting Expert. Watch and be amazed as Jack manages to rehash everything he's ever said in the history of his career AND manage to completely ignore the anchor-person's question in its entirety.
| |
| <center><youtube>hTu0X8TQ2i4</youtube></center>
| |
| | |
| you mean to tell me video games are simulatorz?<B> [[video game|tellz me moarrrrrrrrr!!!!@11]]</B>
| |
| | |
| And the anchorperson's comments at the end are pretty lulzy. Apparently he's never heard of [[alcohol|good ol' Jack]].
| |
| | |
| ==ZOMG GUN CONTROL!!!!11==
| |
| Expect black person or [[trap|Hillary Clinton]] to engage in warp three, [[goatse]]-worthy butthurt about guns in [[over 9000|under 9000]] minutes.
| |
| | |
| ==SCIFAGS DID NIU?==
| |
| Reportedly, he was [http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/02/15/university.shooting/index.html off his meds]. He stopped taking his [[Pills|anti-depressant]] because it made him "feel like a [[zombie]]" (Good call!)
| |
| | |
| ==His (ugly) [[girlfriend]]==
| |
| His horse of a [[whore|girlfriend]], Jessica Baty (who didn't know shit) [http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/02/17/shooter.girlfriend/index.html#cnnSTCText spoke out to CNN.] Sadly, the shooter didn't [[pwn]] her ugly ass.
| |
| <center>[[Image:Jessicabaty.jpg]]</center>
| |
| | |
| Maybe if he had a hotter gf, he wouldn't have to become [[an hero]]. It's amazing the level of denial JB is in. If [[you]] find info on her, drop it like it's hot asap.
| |
| | |
| Prior to dying, Steve mailed off some packages to Jessica. Included in them were some bizzare shit, like [[TL;DR|Nietzsche]] and textbooks on serial killers, and a note (non-suicide related). However, if he was a true [[B|b-tard]], he would have sent her [[Hal Turner|thousands of spam and anchovy pizzas]].
| |
| | |
| ==Graded Score==
| |
| | |
| {| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|red|orange}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0"
| |
| |-
| |
| ! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:red;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big>
| |
| |-
| |
| | colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" |
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count:
| |
| |5/20 (21 injured)
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy:
| |
| |13/20
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;" | Style:
| |
| |18/20 ''Presented the ultimate school play, on stage!''
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt:
| |
| |14/20 ''Moderate shitstorm nationwide, for 15 minutes.''
| |
| |-
| |
| ! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus:
| |
| |20/20 ''Doing it, fgt.''
| |
| |-
| |
| ! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 70/100 ('''C''')</big>
| |
| |}
| |
| | |
| <center>'''Close but no cigar.'''</center>
| |
| <center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center>
| |
| | |
| | |
| <center>
| |
| <div style="{{roundy|10px}}border:2px solid #000;width:30%;background:linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);background:-moz-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-webkit-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-o-linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);padding:10px;font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">
| |
| <span style="font-size:16pt;font-weight:bold">Wanted Level:</span>
| |
| <br>
| |
| <span> ___________________ </span>
| |
| {|align="center"
| |
| |[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
| |
| |[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
| |
| |}
| |
| <span> ___________________ </span>
| |
| <br>
| |
| {|align="center"
| |
| |[[File:Wanted2police.png|128px]]
| |
| |}
| |
| <br>
| |
| <span style="font-size:12pt;">'''Police Force'''</span>
| |
| </div><br>
| |
| </center>
| |
| | |
| ==See Also==
| |
| * [[School Shooting]]
| |
| * [[Columbine]]
| |
| * [[Robert Hawkins]]
| |
| * [[Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath]] - tried to commit another massacre on Valentine's day, 2015. Failed horribly and is now v& for life!
| |
| * [[Asa Coon]] - another failure
| |
| * [[Cho Seung Hui]] - the ultimate college athlete!
| |
| | |
| ==Resources==
| |
| <s>*[http://webtools.uiuc.edu/ows/PH?domainUrl=http://www.uiuc.edu/cgi-bin/phcgi/ns.uiuc.edu?Query=KAZMIERCZAK+_8 Steveo's Info]</s> !CENSORED
| |
| *{{lj|skazmie|skazmie}} Steveo's LJ - approach carefully; the script is buggy
| |
| *{{yt|cu|skazmie|skazmie}}
| |
| *[http://myworld.ebay.com/skazmie myworld.ebay.com/skazmie]
| |
| [[Category:Events]]
| |
| {{High Scores}}
| |
| {{gun control}}
| |
| {{education}}
| |
| {{LJ}}
| |
| [[Category:2008]]
| |
| | |
| | |
| {{timeline|Article of the Now February 13 and 14, [[2024]]|[[Black History Month]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Love]]}}
| |
